Forwaith Times
March 11-17, 2002
Local News
Hindu Center of NY Blown Up
The Hindu Center of New York was just another random act of terrorism committed in the United States. Who the people were who committed these crimes are unknown but the Forwaith Police Department is working day and night to figure out who these people were. “We are going to get these sorry pathetic excuses of people if its the last thing we do! I will not sit back and watch innocent people killed for no reason at all!” exclaimed Captain Harris, the Police Marshall of Forwaith. The Hindu population is also angered and question why they were targeted. Who would commit such a sick act is unknown. However, President Bush is expected to make his way to Forwaith in May to give a speech and do some investigating of the scene.
-Rober King, Forwaith Times
Gandil vs. Shimeran for Governor
It has been reported that Nameoc Shimeran of the Republican party will run up against Democratic candidate Bilun Gandil, both a resident of Forwaith, New York. Both candidates are considered high favorites and it is considered likely that Bilun Gandil will be the favorite to win as the Democrats have had the spot for some time. Nameoc Shimeran is considered a much stronger candidate however than the previous Republican candidates. This should be one excellent contest.
-Johnson Tayler, Forwaith Times
Schwarzenegger Attacked During ‘King Lear’
Police have arrested a man by the name of Amwar Sancee who reportedly attacked Arnold Schwarzenegger during his performance of “King Lear” on Broadway. Mr. Sancee ran onto the stage with a katana and proceeded to scream, “Schwarzenegger, you hack! You have desecrated a classic!” He was immediately tackled by many security guards who then proceeded to have the man arrested. It is thought that Mr. Sancee will be put in jail for at least 30 days and will receive a fine of sorts. We were unable to get a comment from Sancee or his lawyer at this time. In other news concerning Mr. Sancee, it was reported that there was a large scuffle at his apartment complex (Dunston Manner) and that a window was knocked out and a man was seen with a sword through his stomach. The police officer called in for backup but as he returned to the scene, the other man was gone. Whether this was a hoax or not by the officer is unknown.
-Linda Brown, Forwaith Times
Entertainment
Schwarzenegger Performs in King Lear
Arnold Schwarzenegger made his first ever Broadway performance in William Shakespear’s ‘King Lear.’ Despite many attacks by critics, Schwarzenegger’s performance was considered to be strong considering the fact that Schwarzenegger is typically not a dramatic actor, but an action star. “He was really not that bad, everyone went in there joking up thinking this was going to be a disaster, but it truly wasn’t that bad. Arnold did a great job in recovering after the attack on Thursday night and despite the obvious pressure he got from the fans and critics as well as the scare, he had a strong performance,” says guest Michael Staford. The main thing that will be remembered about this performance will not be Schwarzenegger’s acting ability, or lack there of as some would say, or even the attack specifically. It will be Schwarzenegger’s courage. His courage to take up a role like this when he knows he’s going to be slammed by critics and his courage to keep the show going when he was attacked. Schwarzenegger is a strong and brave character. Long live the King!
-Leslie Jones, Forwaith Times
Hamilton in Final “Friends” Episode
It is reported that movie star Alex Hamilton will be making an appearance in Forwaith in the middle of May. He will be guest starring in the final episode of “Friends,” a popular sitcom on NBC. It is rumored that Hamilton will be playing a romantic role opposite of Lisa Kudrow, but the truth behind this rumor is unknown. It is also rumored he will be appearing at the May 16th premier of “Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones” with star actress Natalie Portman.
-John Stokes, Forwaith Times
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones Opens May 16
In one of the most exciting pieces of news in the Entertainment Industry is the arrival of the 5th installment of popular film series Star Wars. This will be the second part of six films. The series started back in 1977 with the release of Star Wars: A New Hope, which is the 4th part of the six part series. It was followed up by part 5, “The Empire Strikes Back” (1980) and the final part, “The Return of the Jedi” (1983). The first part was just released in 1999, the Phantom Menace Grossing over 400 million domestically. Episode II is expected to come close to the gross of the 1999 Blockbuster, but only time will tell. Star Wars premiers at the Carmike Cinemas 30 on Thursday May 16th. Tickets are running at $300 a ticket, but stars George Lucas, Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christiansen are all expected to be at the performance along with many other famous stars.
Adult Film Stark to star in “The Big One”
Adult film star William Stark has recently signed on to star in the newest and most expensive Adult film in history, entitled “The Big One.” Star plays a man who accidentally goes into a portal and comes to a world that is dying because there are no men to reproduce. The world is populated by only women and it is his job to attempt to save the world by helping repopulate the world. Sounds fun, huh?
-Max Leone, Forwaith Times
Sports
Yanks beaten by Braves
In an act which does not occur very often, the Atlanta Braves walked into Yankee Stadium and in the bottom of the 13th, Chipper Jones hit a home run off of Mariano Rivera to end the game. This was Jones’ 2nd home run of the post season. The New York Yankees acquired the services of Jason Giambi from the Oakland Athletics in the off season and are expected to win the World Series this year. “We are just warming up, the Braves got lucky, they’ll never beat us again!” exclaimed General Manager Joe Torre. The Yankees played the Montreal Expos the next night and defeated them 11-1. Go Yanks!
-Daniel Perry, Forwaith Times
That’s the news for this week, tune in next week to see what else happens in this crazy city!
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March 4 through March 11, 2002
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