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It may stop her doing what is most important - keeping herself safe. safety supplies Pictures on domestic violence. A story may illustrate this. I've had variations on the following conversation with several women, and in each case the idea of the man's choice was a revelation. One woman I spoke to was concerned about her husband's escalating violence. safety supplies Safety supply. He would scream and yell at the top of his lungs, call her names, say all kinds of degrading, violent and foul things and punch the walls. She was terrified when he did this. He hadn't hit her, but each angry outburst was becoming more and more intense and she was convinced he would escalate to physical violence in the near future. safety supplies Violence against women. Part of how she thought about these situations was that he was "losing control" when they argued. In fact, this is what he would always say. . . he was really sorry and he had lost control. Therefore, she felt a huge amount of sympathy for his apparent pain - so much so that she was putting herself in danger by staying with him when she actually *expected* him to hit her soon. (please excuse this next violent image - it's necessary to make the point) I said to her, "Let's imagine I'm there with the two of you when one of these situations is happening. I've got a baseball bat. He knows if he moves towards you, raises his voice, or hits the wall, I'm going to hit him right in the face. Do you think he'll do any of those things?" She said in a soft voice, with her eyes widening in realization and her jaw dropping in amazement, "No. "I said calmly, "Well, he's not out of control then, is he?"She said quietly, "No. "We continued to talk and clarify the ideas. But that was basically it. It was a life-changing moment where she decided to do what was right for her and to stop forgiving violent behaviour that this man was CHOOSING. The simple fact is that the consequences of his actions hadn't been sufficient for him to stop. The hypothetical consequences if I were there, would be enough. There is no evidence that alcohol or mental illness cause men to be violent with women IN PARTICULAR. And the idea that a violent batterer or rapist is out of control is a myth. If you study this subject, you'll find that there are immense numbers of men who have been abused as children, or are alcoholics, or have mental problems, who DO NOT carry out any form of violence towards others. Yes, there are men whose mental state is so deranged that they lose touch with reality.
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