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24 September 2002 01:45am

How I feel now is "I want to clam down!". My brain is like a non-stop dancing machine, the steps are keep bumping out but in my mind, he is keep appearing; and my heart is like a beating machine but it is beating abnormally, faster and a bit messy. I am getting breathless...
Patricia sent me these last night:

24 September 2002 05:10pm

The weather is good today. It is sunny but it was too hot in the afternoon... geeess... I don't like summer that much. LOL, when it is summer, I like winter; when it is winter, I like summer...=P.
I went to sleep so EARLY last night as u know(if u had read the time on the top of this page), I could barely wake up this morning. I was so tired but my mind was so energitic, it was awoke so early and thinking abt something... *sigh*
Just got a call from him, I will see him soon, my heart is beating faster... Am I nervous? or I am just afraid? Ok... I have to go now, otherwise I'll be late. Be back.

05:20pm

24 September 2002 10:00pm

I think he might has just arrived home.
What I feel now? Not too bad. Thing is a bit clearer, is it good...? I don't know. However, do I like him? I think I can't lie to myself.
It is good to see him tonight. I miss him, oh well... It is not important now anyway...
BUT WHAT? WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT HERE??? I like him but I know it is not good to be with him? I have to control myself not to!!!
By the way, I had asked him if he saw me online before and the answer was not. Then I asked him why did hemsg me as a sudden and the answer was he didn't know, he just felt like to.=| I am not mad at him. He looks really tired. It makes me worried.
Just tonight, I know that he might not be cheating on me. He is busy, his tired face can't cheat. He is so hard-working. I am afraid that he would give himself too much stress...
Well, that is enough, why do I care him so much? Get over it, Jane. Not good to always sink in this.
HOWEVER, THE FEELING OF SEEING A PERSON THAT U LIKE BUT U CAN'T BE WITH HIM IS SO BAD...
Why am I writing this here? who would see it? My friends? What could they after they saw it? Would he see it? If so, so what? Would he be with me? I don't think so... He doesn't even have time to have a break now.

...Who would give me a break then?

10:25pm

26 September 2002 06:39am

Last night, Patricia came and stayed at my place, I am so glad. I really hate to stay here by myself. I'd love people come to my place but only good friends and people I like. I can't be bothered to pay attention on other people. I hate to act fakely when some girls come. On the other hand when any guy come to my place... they always have purposes. I swear, I wouldn't let any guy to come to my place again! (unless my real friends). I dun want that would happen again. It was the first day I moved to here.
Certainly, Patricia is my good friend, she knows me and understands me. We've talked much last night and she has given me some of her opinions. I felt a bit relaxed. At least, someone is sharing my worries.
What's my feeling then? I feel like I am booked by a person, I like him but I never known if he likes me or not since there is reason that he might not able to have a gf? However, I like him, seems that if it is not him, I wouldn't be in love again. I have been trying to foget him(and I thought I did before!) but somehow I think that reson occurs is because of he likes me. Isn't that a silly thought? Well, I am silly, a very silly one.
Although I like him ( and I assume that he likes me), we are not together. What can I do then?...
Did I think into a wrong way? Or he just really wants to be friends with me? Or...?
I can't stop thinking of him, even when I am sleeping, I also awake by him. I can't control thinking of him. Dear god, please let me know what does he think and how does he feel? (I'm afraid that he doesn't even have the time for himself to think...)
I believe that if two persons likes each other, there is nothing can stop then to be together...

Maybe, there is a problem of timing...?
Or... I am just giving myself excuses?
><...

07:05am

26 September 2002 03:34pm

Now, I am having class in the computer lab, I am so glad. I had hand in the Maths assignment and there is another system analysis assignment which is supposed to hand it today but I didn't finish it; however, the lecturer is giving us another week to finish it. I am so glad. Thanks what God is giving me.
Dear God, thanks for giving me chances, thanks indeed. Armen.
I am tired... haven't slept well last night...*stretch* I think I had just slept for a few hours. Before I went to sleep, Pactricia and me were chatting and surely the topic was about him. (Patricia, thanks for talking with me, I feel much more relaxed and supportive.)
I was awoke in the midnight, casually, he appeared in mind again(u could figure out who that person is.). I think I am seriously tooooo... serious on it...

04:00pm

26 September 2002 11:18pm

Just had a little chat with him. I am a bit depressed. Eventually, I had sked him who did he still come when he were so tired and the answer was he really want to learn those. It surprised me... I doubt that if he is that hard-working...
I think I thought into a wrong way... *sigh*
Whatever... I dunno anything now... in a really bad mood...
Don't think I can write much tonight... Anyway, cheer up, Jane! You have to be independent!

My heart is so sore now...(I need a pair of arms and a shoulder...>< )

11:30pm

28 September 2002 00:18am

I've just got home. It was a great night. It is good to spend time with some people. Ya, it helps occupying myself, then I wouldn't think too much.
I have decided to forget him AGAIN, and I think this time, I am more seriouse that before. I don't want to be hurt again. And ya, just be friends with him though I know he is a bit using me. Maybe I am still leaving some chances there for him? Or for myself? Don't know and don't wanna think.
Generally, I am kinda relaxed, don't have time to think abt him. Cool...
......=|

00:35am

28 September 2002 01:20pm

Um... just finished my blunch(haha, breakfast+lunch...LOL!). I know it is kinda late now but I am still sleepy...@@
Too many calls this morning... Argh! but it doesn't mean that I am popular. LOL...
Carlos is studying in the library and I just left him there... I am so sorry. (sorry, Carlos! Pls don't mad at me...) Dong asked me to go out have "yum-cha" and sing K but I am sooo lazy to go out... and sleepy...=P Still have to go to buy some gorcery, argh!!
What about him? He is still in my mind but it's not as influential as before now. I like him but I am putting it in the deep of my soul now. (Actually, how can I foget him? HE IS an important person in my life... I would remember him forever, also that day.) No good to think and no good to worry. If he is really like me and want me, why doesn't he admit? If he doesn't like me, then there is no point for me to think, to miss and like him...
Well, I am putting it at the back of my mind now. Exam is coming, I am trying to put all of the worries at the back of my mind now =), hope that I will pass all the exams. Ya, and after the exam, I am going to Melbourne.
Ok, it is time going back to work now, see you, my frinends. *hug* (I really need it.)

01:49pm

28 September 2002 07:03pm

Again, I think I could forget him but I.......
Sometimes, I really want to ignore him but... I like him... I always want to see him... How silly I am...?

07:04pm

28 September 2002 09:05pm

I was reading this page, having a look of what I've been writing here. Finally, made some corrections.
I had talked to him and it is a good talk.I feel much much more better now ^^. The answer has worked out and something have been worked out too. What we are going to do is to wait and see how things go.
Dear god, thanks for giving chance. Hope that everthing would goes well. Armen.

09:20pm

29 September 2002 11:56pm

Thanks god for giving me a good weekend and and chances for things, indeed. I am good at the last two days =). At least, I know what I have been given out is not wasted, at least, there is a chance now. Hope that everything goes well between 2 of us. May god lead us, Armen.
I've been to church today, I am glad since I have been meeting nice persons. And I had my hair cut today though can't really recgonise that. =)
I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

30 September 2002 00:30am

1 October 2002 03:53pm

Finally, he hasn't came yesterday but I was not unhappy. I know that he's too busy, I underdstand him. (Lucky that I am being understandable.) By the way, he said he would come tonight. I can see him tonight =).
Thanks Tango reminded Dong to format my computer. It is workig now though it still has some problems... eh... doesn't matter... as long as it is working now? I think I would ask "him" to have a look of it tonight, anyways.
It was a busy day yesterday, I was kinda tired, haven't been that tired for a while but it was good to spend time with good people. =) That's why I hadn't written anything yesterday.
Okies, have to do some work now. Time is running out, I have to work hard now.

04:05pm

1 October 2002 06:49pm

It seems that I've put too much hope on something and I am too serious on it. Am I a serious person? Is it good to be serious? My heart is so sore now, can't see him... there was not even a call telling me he is not coming!...
don't tell me you're coming next time if you can't... don't give me any hope if u can't do it,I would even more hurt...!
><...

06:57pm

1 October 2002 07:38pm

I was really really angry and unhappy but I am not now(unless a bit disappointed). I've forgiven him already. See, how silly I am... =/
I don't believe that I could clam down so fast when I was so angry( I would probably be so down for the whole night, as in minimum); however, I did it tonight.
I think talking to a person you like is a kind of enjoyment. Your unhappiness and worries would become lighter after you heard some caring, sweet...(can't think of any words to discribe those, so sweet and comfortable)words from him/her. I feel much better now, unless I am missing him... *hug* Really wanna cuddle him now!
It is magic! It is magic of life... =)

07:50pm

2 October 2002 11:58pm

Actually, someone has been talking with me much at the last few days. He's a nice person but it seems that it is not a good time for him to appear in my life. We both have something can't get over in our mind. Well, it is life. There are always selections. Who did I select? Make a guess!
=) It is really ridiculous. Life always give people lessons. This time, it is teaching me to be patient and understandable. Also,it is giving me lecture of the topic: " There are choices sometimes though there might not be any sometimes." Yeh... it is true. Somestimes there is no one there for me but sometimes there are more than normal. How can I know that who is the one I need? the right one that I want and need? I just want one, a satble one. Does it sound greedy? (I don't think so!) I wouldn't mind if he is always busy or whatever. I just want that he is loyal and faithful. Please show me. Then I don't have to worry if he spends his time with some others ladies when he tells me he is busy. Well, just to comfort me, in case.
Be honestly, I am afraid that I've been trusting a wrong person again. I hope not and I believe that I have not. Um... just want him to show me he is really like me but not playing around with me. =/ I really don't know if I would loss my faith one day but what I know now is I want that he is serious to me. Is he? Am I requiring too much?

There are many assignments, essays and exams coming up in these two weeks, I might not have time to write and upload this page, please forgive if you have been waiting. Just simply message me and try to say hi to me, I think I would reply you IF I have time to, haha.
Okies, cya, my friends. Pray for me, I need your supports.*HUG*

3 October 2002 00:29am

5 October 2002 04:08pm

So so so so so so so so so so so so... tired! Really wanna go to have a nap but just had some food, don't want to go to sleep straight away. Just don't want to get fatter. Ayiii, just had an exam this morning, haven't slept last night... geess... feel so sick now!!
Busy busy busy ar... Exams, exam and exam ar... Although this week would be so busy, I still always think of him ar...(how sweet!). However, sometimes I really can't conentrate, no wonder he puts his career at the very first place in his life. He is a smart person, I didn't choose wrong la. By the way, thanks for telling me your feelings, I am happy ^^. I will be understandable and patient, waitting for ya. Um... miss ya lah. I can't wait untill next thur, hope that I can see you on that day la. *muah*
My brain can't think of other things besides him now, just wanna cuddle him and have a nice sleep, I am so tired... @@!
Seeya, honey.

04:27pm

6 October 2002 10:20pm

I've just updated my icq info. Have a look if you could understand =). Well, I'd better pay all the attention on my exams. I do not want to fail any subjects. (so scared!) If I goona fail any subject again, I am not going back to hk on the year 2004 as well! I must make some restrictions to myself! Argh... actually, there is an exam in 10.5 hrs time, how come I am still so weaky with the net? You bad bad, Jane! (...LOL)
Okies, I think I dunno what to say now. My living style is crap, so shit shit la...*sigh*
By the way, have been thinking of you, honey.
Je suis manquant vou. Je vous aime vraiment, miel.

10:40pm

8 October 2002 11:56am

It is a nice morning, I had a good and long sleep last night. I was awoke at 9 this morning, haven't woke up so early for a while(unless have to go to uni). I am feeling more supportive, talked with him last night, that is so sweet. Aiya, miss him la.
By the way, sometimes, I dunno whether he is joking or else, I don't like that he asks people, especially my friend, that if they know any hot friends. Well, I think he is joking but I am a bit angry, geesss... (little air me). Haha, however, I'd love him to do it since he is too busy la, I don't want him to be breathless. Take a break, hun, but don't be too naughty~
Well, on the other side of my heart, I am struggling badly, I need something to prove his liking on me. Something really serious and meaningful, otherwise it seems like I never got ensured. That is human, you would look for reward from what you gave to. I don't want that the situation will be I like him more than he likes me, than he wouldn't tresure me... Although I know he does like me... give me some confident, hun.
Argh... and my exams, 2 of them had finished, got another one on Thur. morning. I hope that all of the wil be fine. @@, at least pass?
May god lead me.

12:18pm

11 October 2002 11:32pm

So tired ar... Just finished exam on thurseday, was supposed to see him but at last... Well, just want to have much time to spend together, so it was delaied. However, we haven't seen each other tonight eithor, because my honey is sick ar, so worried. Um, was thinking to see each other tomorrow but Auntie wants me to go to somewhere with her tommorrow, so can't see him tomorrow eithor. Ah.. miss him ar!!! But anyway, he will come on Sunday(he said). He has been so sweet! *muah~* Hope that this time, I will really see him.
I do want to call him, somehow, I am afraid, I am afraid that there is nothing to talk between us. I am afraid that he is too busy or feeling sick... and the most important is I am afriad that I will turn into an annoying person. I want to be understandable and yes, be the person who going to always support him, not making troubles.
I like you so much, hon~
Yesterday, I was so energitic after exam. I know the questions but I didn't hae enough time for it! aiya... Me and Patricia went to city for lunch after that. It was the last chance to have lunch with before she's going back to HK this morning. I am waiting for her call at the moment.(I've asked her to call when she has arrived hk) After the lunch, we went to Aunt's shop, Patricia left early because of the trip. I staied at the shop and helped auntie. I recgoinsed that looking after a shop is not as easy as I thought before! Anyway, got many videos and VCDs from there, haha... Was wactching them till 4 something yesterday... Don't have enough sleep for 2 days... awww... and tmr! Sigh... one night because of exam, on night because of videos, and tonight because of early morning tomorrow! *Yawn~*
And today, woke up so earlly, had to go back to SIBT to pay the course fee. Yes, you are right! I staied at my aunt's place yesterday and went back to my place, leaving some stuffs there and went to SIBT, then home, then cleaned up the house... and now, Aunt's placce! Why do I emphasis those? It is because I have to take nearly 2 hrs on transport between my place and aunt's place. Sucks... Sydney transport sucks.
So sleepy and tired now... aiya, how come patricia still hasn't called? Where is she now? Hong Kong yet? I miss my friend ah! How are you there ?

12 October 2002 0:09am

17 October 2002 05:34pm

It has been a while, how are you guys? I had been up and down, down and up, and I am good now. At least, someone cares me a lot. At last, We haven't met on Sunday. I talked to him on Monday, which I went to city and met him, I really needed to talk to him. I needed to ask him how patient he wants me to be. After the little chat, I am increditbly calm. My conclusion is he likes me but he wants to get to know me more before he asks me to be his gf but he could only be able to do these after the mid-November, after he came back from Singapore. And what I feel is he feels so certain that I would wait for him! I was still thinking that I would wait for him before that day. However, I dun like that he feels do certain. He is trying to make me to wait for him and ya, wants all the things starts from the begining after he came back! He's selfish. On the other hand, if he doesn't like me, he would just want to use me, for the languange. So, I deceided, I am not going to wait and yes, anyone who comes to me would have their chances. And what will happened after he came back will be another story. By the way, I do like him?! Or I am just didn't want to loss? I don't want to give up if I have never tried?!
Anyway, I have accepted a guy already, he is nice and caring. He knows all the stories between him and me. He understands that there will be a challenge on November. His peronalities are very good, not shallow and the kind of people who desn't care ppl's appearance. The kind of personality of people that I have been looking for. Just one thing is not good enough... he is not tall enough...=\ Well, but still I have accepted him.
I know I am so selfish. I know I might hurt him... I don't know what to say...
This caring guy has been talking to me much and does take care of me... He understands AJ is still in my heart but he still cares abt me a lot. I don't know what will happen after AJ came back from Singapore...
Fuck, I am so selfish and shallow!
Or AJ does like me, just doesn't want to waste my time? I am so confused... Am I giving myself excuse? Or I am giving him excuse?
May god lead me, ar-men.

07:18pm

26 October 2002 05:43am

It is so late now... What a quiet night...
Life is umpreditable, do u agree?
Things happen reasonaly, can u think of anything that happens without a reason? I had broken up with this guy at the last few days. It's like... I had been thinking much and understood a person(no matter it's him or me), then decision came out. I dunno what I could say now, just don't want to hurt a person much. I am sorry...
As same as before, I would feel empty after breaking up with anyone, even if I am the one who wanted to separate... *sigh...
Don't feel like to say anything... I am sorry.

6:20pm

3 November 2002 01:09am

I'm sorry, havn't written anything recently though I was having holiday. The holiday was okay, was just doing normal things. Nothing special happened, however, I do feel loney and very empty sometimes... Well...
I've got some news and regards from some relatives, friend and previous teacher in these few days. They are so sweet! I miss them ar!
AJ is going tomorrow la, hope that he would have a nice trip la~ Also, Patricia will go on the flight in the midnight of Australian time, hope that she would have a safety trip la~
01:45am

11 November 2002 01:59am

Hi, everyone. It has been a while, everyone still alright there?
AJ has gone last Wed., I missed him and I am missing him. Well, am I waiting for him? I don't know... However, it does seem that no one can replace him in my heart at the moment. Maybe, the right person hasn't came yet. Well, just trying to let it be... maybe I would be more than happy if it works out.*shurgs*
To be honest, I do want him... well, let's see what would happen a few days later.
He is coming back in 5 days, before he gone, he left me an offline msg, saying that he would give me a call before he's leaving but as usual, he has never called. However, it is so rediculous that he left Patricia his mobile no. of Singapore and said bye to her through an offline message. I don't know what's happen with that. Whatever~ don't want to think too much, just hope that everything will be fine for him there. May god blesss him.
Thanks god for giving me anything, things that is visible or invisible. Those are really good experiences. People around me also gave me many hints. I believe those are all arrangements from god. May dear god our lord watch over me forever.

02:27am

21 February 2003 01:40am

Um, this is a page that carried down from the last HP(my first HP). I really like this page, looks so nice, it gives the feeling of neat, peaceful and thoughtful, it has really impressed me. Just made some part of this HP(my 2nd HP) done, hope could entertain u for a while =).
Thanks for visiting and hope you are enjoying it, drop me your opinions, no blame. Send me through icq or my guest book, I would love to know what do you think =).
Promise to make this site done soon. *wink*
Cya, my friends~

01:49am

26 February 2003 02:43am

Finally, upload all of the pages here la... however, there are some problems that I have to fix (u may not recgonise that besides u a professionals). I might adjust this site for a few couple of times, no matter add photos or change the content la... and of course, my "night would always be here and new diaries would be upload. Don't expect that I would tell ya much about "guys" stuffs these day, too busy now...(u guess~)
Hook up here, buddies!
Come back here and visit me frequently, and don;t forget to leave me messages~! =)

02:48am

28 February 2003 02:09am

Aiyo... the icq list was lost before, stupid icq sever, made many of us were so worried!!(like lost our sons or daughters? um... haha!)
Just got back from city at 12somthing, didn't know that it's that late... Anyway, was a good dinner with Dong and Tango. Ta~
Thanks god that Aunt has nothing wrong with her stomach and Alan has arrived Melbourne safe.
Hope that Uncle Andrew would do well in China, especially his health, it really worries people(poor Aunt...). Might pray for them~
SIBT is starting soon, I have to study really hard in this semester and pick up everything, otherwise, it would be really tough for my study, no matter now or in the future... Work hard, Jane!!! Don't stay back!
Guys, my guest book has already modified, it looks heaps better now, leave me a msg and give me some comment^^, pls note that you are more than welcome to!! *HUG*
Take care, darl~

02:20am

22 April 2003 11:00pm

我記得你曾經說過:

「感情對人來說是一種飲料﹐世上有很多種飲料﹐包括水...
有味道的飲料﹐很多人都喜歡﹐檸檬茶､橙汁､咖啡､奶茶… 等等。
雖然我們總有時候會喜歡挑這些有味道的飲料來喝﹐可是有一種飲料, 我們不會常常喝﹐偏偏它卻是生命中不可缺少的… 有時候﹐太多的果汁會令人覺得膩﹐但『水』就不會這樣﹗
果汁於生命中只是一時的調味﹐可有可無﹔但『水』卻是我們一生都須要的。雖然它淡而無味﹐但偏偏不能沒了它。它既能解渴﹐而且又健康﹐就是沒味道﹔可是﹐要是再嘗去﹐你就能嘗到甜味﹗
雖然人人愛喝果汁﹐但果汁不能時常喝﹐水卻能每時每刻的喝。
人可以不喝果汁﹐卻不能一生不喝水﹗」

你知道嗎? 我就是要想做你那杯水！

可是你知道嗎﹐忍受你有時想喝果汁﹐做你那杯水不要緊﹐只要你說一聲就好啦! 不要弄到我不知道你當我什麼?! 我生氣啦!...><

My friend, have you found ur glass of water yet? If so, please don't let it down. Although it is not tasty, it is always healthy and loyal. Love it!

23 April 2003 02:45am

28 February 2003 05:43pm

Hi there, my friends! Sorry abt that, the last msg was almost written in Chinese. Here is the English version if you interested to read it:

I remember you've said to me before: "Having a relationship is just like having a kind of drink. There are many kinds of drinks on the world, includig water...
There are kinds of drinks which are really tasty that people really liked. For examples, lemon tea, oranges juice, coffee and favoured tea...etc.
Although we would always choose those kinds of favoured drinks, there is a kind of drink which we won't always choose to drink but we can't live with it...
Sometimes, too much favoured drinks would break our tongue, in contrast, water would never make ur tongue suffer!
Favoured drinks are like those seasonings in our lives, it is optional; however, we do need water to continue our lives though it is not tasty. It is healthy and it is always the best drink to stop us being thirsty. Taste it better, maybe you might find it sweet too!
Although many of us like to choose to drink favoured drinks, we couldn't always drink them because of their tastes would break our tongue. However, Water is always avaliable there for everyone at anytime.
People could never choose to drink favoured drink but people could never choose not to drink WATER!"
Do u know that I just want to be ur glass of water?
To tolerate u to drink other favoured drinks and being ur galss of water is not a thing but at least let me know that if I am ur glass of water?! I am now so confused and chilled out. I am really mad now.

Sorry, guys, to translate a chinese article into English is not a easy job... there are many special vocabluries that I really dunno how to translate. If it is confusing u, just forget it~ sorry again.

Anyway, me have been moved to this new place in Eastwood for more than a month already. I am not living by myself anymore after the day I've moved. What is my flatmate like? I am still getting to know more...

06:46pm

05 May 2003 00:16am

BOO~ How have u been, my friends? Recently, Jane started thinking again... and she started giving herself pressure again... She believes that if she gives herself pressure, she would work harder. She's giving herself much pressure now. Work, study and academic society works... etc. She's been really occupied, but well she found that giving herself much pressure and being occupied is not that useful... she's been defeated, by her heart and the virus... she has been hurt and been really sick... *sniff... cough... * Her heart has been poked and she caught a cold...
During the thinking time of me, me had been emotional again... That's what I don't really want to happen. I am really sure that once I turned to be emotional, things would become very grey in my eyes, everything would become very bad and I would loss patience and probably being very aggressive. Jane really needs someone to take care of her... I am here dare to admit my loneliness!
After all of this thinkings, I have decided not to tihnking to be someone's glass of water. I am exhausted... I don't want to give up but it is telling me I have to! It really has been suffering me! ><... Why not just say it and let me to give up? What the FXXX!? I'd rather you to piss me off badly and let me to hate you, to swear at you!!! ><... I am now like hanging there and feeling breathless now!!! How can u do that to a girl?!
*Sniff, Sniff...* I am so sick now... who gonna help me? Who gonna look after me and take care of me? My dear father god, please, please help me to kill this kind of feeling... I nearly can't breath here... I can strongly feel that I am really emotional these days... I always lost myself and being a fake me or I can't really do what I wanna do... And I always want someone to care of me. Why? I have been trying really hard to be independent, but why? Why is that feeling keep bothering me...?

Because of a site, some old friends from HK had found me again, some of them are in sydney too, that was really a great thing for me... (thanks god). Hope that there will be more friends contact me and let me know they are still fine, like what we've said when we graduated... "FRIENDSHIP FOREVER!"

Love you all, my friends...

01:12am

24 May 2003 05:16pm

Hi all, how have u been? I have been missing u all... (especially, my friend in hk and of course, Daddy and Mummy!)
The past few weeks was sort of a hard time for me, I could feel some kind of stress or pressure... which is very strong. I couldn't tell where that is from but I just feel really bad, emotional and aggressive. I worried, worried about my parents, my brother, my study and my health...etc. I am sure that my health is not as well as the past. I am trying to cope everything that I worried about. However, I know God has been helping me alot and He is the mightly God. He always gives me something that I have never supposed or expected. Thanks God for giving me all of these. My dear father god, I am sure You would still love me and I need ur love in the looking futhur. Ar-men.

And now, this special paragraph for my friend. I have a friend who I've known for more than 5 yrs. She's in Hong Kong. She was the one who spent much time with me when I gone back to HK last yr. She was the one that I thought about when I known the movie "Matrix Reloaded" is on. She was the one who was sitting besides me, watched "Matrix" with me... I miss you, Kate.
Kate, I know that you are now facing something that you've never faced before, which is really hard for you. However, I am glad that when the days you feel down, you think of Jesus, your forever friend, forever God. May our mightly, powerful God would help my friend to get out from this bad emotion and find her new way.
It is sure that there is always something which might always damage our faithful forward to God but we would always find out God had been helping us on every isuue secretly while we didn't even know what's happening. When the issue is over, we sit down and think, we always could think of something that people think is luck but we know that it is all from God. Even something which is bad, we know it's God make us to learn it, experience it and taste it.
Kate, although it is a very bad truth that you must learn to swallow and face, don't give up urself! God make you the way he wants you to but you are the one who walks the way you want to. When you look forward, there might be only a wavy hillside road you could go. You might scard, afriad, and worried but look, look more far away. God is opening his arms for you.
I am sure you would get over all this hard time, I will pray for you, my friend, take care.

Thanks god for letting me know there is a friend still need me and love me. Ar-men.

06:02pm

30 May 2003 07:23pm

Girls always want to have a bf who is rich and like her...
They always look for those sons of millionaires or higher classes....
Shouldn't it sound nice if someone like that is asking you out?

Why don't I feel the same?

07:30pm

30 May 2003 07:41pm

Maybe I look more in a person, i.e. a person's personality.
What you have done and happened before made me think that you are definitely not my type. Althought you hold my hands, kissed me or cuddled me, I still feel nothing towards you.
I am sorry to say that but I still can't get over that issue. It shown a very frustrated side of you...
I'm sorry, you are not my type.

07:49pm

31 May 2003 08:38pm

Well, I feel sorry to piss you off but I have to, I don't want things to get worse. And now, it is so obviouse that you know where you are in my mind.
Although I might be the one who can see through you and the one you think is so special and like, it's not good for someone to know too well about you, right?
I am sorry, I do feel guilty to "hurt" you. However, you know I am very straight, right?
sorry, hope that you will find urself soon.

08:48pm

04 June 2003 02:00am

I've been touched by ur reality, the real side of you...
Ouch, I am missing you... *blush*
Aw... why is that...?
Shits... I am thinking too much...!

All of you guys are going back for holidays... I am not very happy with this though I know I will get souvenirs from you guys... I am sure I will miss you badly...
remeber to call me ar~!!

By the way, it is nice that brother is coming, have been missing him, can't wait to see him. He is such an organised good boi. Love ya, Alan! Let's work hard for exam la!
Our lord, dear father god, may you help us to be well performed on our exams, pass all the subjects and upgrade suceddfully. During the exam period, we might would try our best to study and could well-understand all we have to and study the things that it would come out in the exam. Hope that time would not be wasted. Evils go far aways from us while we are doing things. Ar-men.

02:25am

29 July 2003 11:03pm

Thanks god for giving me anything. It has been really great to have you to watch over.
I spent my 20th birthday at Snowy Mountain 2 days ago, it was really great, It was the first time to go to ski too!! I've never been so drunk!!! Thanks guys!!! You all would be UNFORGETABLE in my life!

On the other hand, exam result was not really good, I have to stay with SIBT for another semester to finish my diploma... It kinda upset me... Because of it, I know that I have lost many opportunities... CHEEP UP!

Life is always full of challenges, there are always wins and losses...

Ah-hah, and ya, congratulations for my cousin Amy in N.Y., she has already born a baby and he's so cute. Thanks for sending me the photos^^.

30 July 2003 11:50am