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Our Trip
December 1, 2001 - Day Fourteen: Reunion click HERE for Day Fourteen Photos Question for Ms. Foster's Classroom: When was the last time you went to a doctor? Were the tests and exam your doctor did similar to what Sophia had done? Paige's comments: Not much from me today. Ann I think summed it all up. Had a killer headache on the morning excursion to the clinic and crashed for a bit this afternoon. This city is steamy now, which is winter. We'd heard about Guangzhou and the heat. All of the photos that we'd seen of other couples' summer trips showed everyone with completely sweated through clothing. It would make New Orleans in July seem like a walk in the park. So one of the benefits of the delay in our adoption is that we hit town when it is JUST in the 80's. What Ann writes about the stares we get, is true. Very weird to be the center of attention…all the time. I think that if we were walking naked down the street (and Chinese), people wouldn't stare as much as this. I know it gets under some peoples' skins. I just smile, am polite, and except in the case of the Shanghai Airlines flight, everyone is very nice in return. Sophia's fantastic. Bonding great. Ann is surpassing me by great strides when it comes to inventing little games with her to play. She fell asleep in my arms as walked through a department store today. A true "Dad Feeling" that nothing can beat. Weird Chinese Radio Experience #1: Was listening to whatever the cab driver was listening to. It was news, or weather, or a live spot, or something. I don't know. They were talking, okay? Anyway, the music bed was "Short Short Men" by Gillette. Weird Chinese Multi-Cultural Experience #2: Eating fajitas in a Hard Rock Café in Guangzhou while listening to the Yardbirds. By the way; great dinner. Most of the families hauled themselves downstairs for the event and they did it up with balloons and free toys for the kids. This city is the home of the U.S. Consulate for southern China and puts through about 300 kids a week on their way to international destinations. So they know how to suck up to this niche travel group. (FYI: Sophia enjoyed sharing Ann's veggie fajita.) That's it. Calling it a night. Tomorrow will be split between touring the morning and sitting in a room with all the other families filling out forms. It's great to be reunited with them all and I know that we're making friendships that will last for years. Ann's comments: What a complete turnaround from yesterday. Sophia is much better today. Not as sick in the diaper department. She still has a cold though like most of the other couples' children. We went for breakfast and all the couples from the trip were sitting in the same area. It was great to see them again - this time with their children. There's a range in ages - from about 10 months to 2 ½ years old. Most are between the ages of 10-11 months old. In terms of size, the other 11 months old are much smaller than Sophia. We have a healthy one on our hands. Her appetite is finally kicking in. I think for the first five days she was reluctant to take a bottle from either of us (only eating a few ounces), not eating any of her rice cereal, and only eating small bites of food at each of the meals. Today, on the other hand, she was drinking formula, drinking water, eating lots of rice cereal, and scrambled eggs. Even had a couple bites of a potato chip (which she liked). She must be starting to be more comfortable with us. The only thing we did today for the adoption was the medical appointment. This was a public medical facility. The funny thing was it was so LOUD. Not just with some of the kids who were being adopted who were crying - but just in general. Talk about a contrast to a typical medical office in the U.S. Yesterday, too, at the art museum there was a tour group and all the Chinese people who were receiving a tour by the docent were talking in loud voices. Again, I think of any art gallery - major or minor - in the U.S. and how QUIET they are in comparison to the one we were at. At the medical appointments, there are several rooms that the children visit with different doctors in each room. The first one we visited the doctor checked Sophia's heart and breathing, took her length (28 inches), and checked her abdomen. He brought the translator in because she sounded congested. He asked us several questions and wanted to know if she had medicine. Showed him what we were using. He was happy. Told us to continue to do that. He took her temperature and she didn't have a fever. The next room was the ear and mouth doctor. She was healthy with respect to her hearing and mouth (though I'm not sure what exactly they check for in her mouth). The last area was weighing her. She weighed 9.8 kilograms. That's about 21.56 pounds. I can tell you that at times I feel like I'm carrying a 50-pound bag of oats. She's heavy…especially after walking a long distance. She's also slippery. Seems like she always starts sitting around my waist and keeps slipping. Doesn't fall, just sinks. After the medical appointment we walked back to the buses. We walked with a Mary and Larry. Very nice couple. They were the last ones on the way back. Mary was struggling with her baby who was screaming. The baby screamed all through the medical appointment. We waited for them and walked with them on the way back. Paige talked to Larry. I talked to Mary. Mary said that her baby is strong willed so the orphanage workers bound her baby to the bed. When they got their baby, the bindings were so tight that when Mary tried to cut them off with a scissors there wasn't enough room between the binding and the baby's skin. When they finally got them off, there were deep wounds were the bindings were. Apparently they tied the baby down when she was fussy - which was about twice a day. They didn't know about this when they went to the orphanage or were given the description of their daughter. By far, Mary and Larry have the most challenging child in terms of emotional needs. I admire Mary's patience. She cried as she described what they did to her daughter, how she felt when she saw the other babies cry and the parents being able to calm them down relatively quickly in comparison to her daughter, and how difficult it has been for them. I'm not sure what Paige and I would have done had Sophia been in the same situation and had the same behavior. They are incredibly strong people. I can't even imagine what difficulties they are going through right now. Makes Sophia and the challenges we've had so far seem like a walk in the park. I think children are matched with parents who can handle who their children are. Paige and I clearly are at the level where we can handle a happy baby who cries infrequently. Anything beyond that…well, that's out of our league. At least for right now. This afternoon Paige slept - he's still not feeling well. Sophia and I went out for a walk through the Liuhuahu Gongyuan - a really pretty park with a waterfall, sculptures, curving stone pathways, and natural stone benches strategically placed around the ponds. It's very warm here - almost tropical - so there are trees that have purple flowers, bright red and orange flowers, and lots of birds chirping. As we walked through the park, it was almost odd to see the children play. They were all boys with the exception of two older girls. Everywhere you look on the street, in restaurants - any public place - there's just a conspicuous absence of young girls. What's even more odd is that the adults in particular dote on the little girls but walk right by the little boys. No matter where we go, people always come up to Sophia and smile or want to touch her. You simply do not see that same sort of interest in the young boys. There are two other things that have been eye-opening while being here (more so in Nanjing than in other cities): - the feeling of being a minority is something I never really felt (not even in Brazil - even though my hair and skin color was much lighter than everyone else). Here it seems like everyone stares. I find myself averting people's eyes more than making direct eye contact when I'm on the street. It's strange because I don't normally do that. Maybe it's because people sometimes don't smile or aren't responsive to me/us. It's been an interesting lesson about being a minority and being different from others on the outside. - accessibility is not as much of a major concern here as in the U.S. I think I've noticed it now more that I schlepped a stroller around for a few hours. Now had that been a wheelchair I couldn't have been on the sidewalk (very few of the corners have gradually descending sidewalks that meet the road), couldn't have crossed the crosswalk (there was a huge metal barrier in between the lanes), and couldn't have went in the park (again - the metal barrier blocked the entrance). None of the doors have handicapped buttons that you can push. Well, we're off to the Hard Rock Café for an "authentic Chinese dinner." Seems like when we were in Beijing we had many more Chinese meals and had to eat with chopsticks. In Nanjing and here it's been a rarity. Kind of defeats the purpose of being here. But, it's with the tour group so we want to be a part of it. |