The Ring Two (2005)
[For the curious: I haven't seen this movie, and "aIm4GoLd1229" is my cousin Chris.]
[WARNING: SPOILERS]
aIm4GoLd1229: well then golly gee, here we go
aIm4GoLd1229: so, whatever the hell her name is and Aidan decide to "start a new life"
aIm4GoLd1229: so they move to the peaceful town of Astoria
aIm4GoLd1229: all is well in Astoria... but not for long....
Hobbes512: OH NOEZ
aIm4GoLd1229: a report of a possible homicide is called in and whatever the hell her name is goes and investigates
Hobbes512: just call her Sally
Hobbes512: for simplicity's sake
aIm4GoLd1229: Sally sneaks into the ambulance where the body is and looks at the guy's face
aIm4GoLd1229: well, the face is the same as all the others who died watching the tape
aIm4GoLd1229: all of a sudden, Somara's bitch-ass reaches up and grabs Sally and tells her, hoe, im gonna smack you and your little son Aidan around until I get myself a mommy
aIm4GoLd1229: so, thinking that the tape is causing all this shit to happen, Sally goes and gets it out of the VCR and burns it in a can like the hobos do when they wanna get warm
Hobbes512: hooray for hobos!
aIm4GoLd1229: well, too bad for Sally, because that shit aint right
aIm4GoLd1229: Somara is still back and she wants a mommy
aIm4GoLd1229: so what does Somara do? she goes for Aidan
aIm4GoLd1229: and she tries to get her dead white ass into Aidan's body so Sally can be her mommy
aIm4GoLd1229: its pretty crazy-ass shit when Aidan and Sally are driving through the forest
aIm4GoLd1229: and all of a sudden a bunch of deer start ramming their car and shit
aIm4GoLd1229: and this i am not making up
aIm4GoLd1229: it was a pretty random scene let me tell you
aIm4GoLd1229: so anyways, Aidan starts getting hypothermia and has to be taken to the hospital
Hobbes512: what?
Hobbes512: this sounds terrible
aIm4GoLd1229: it really is, trust me
aIm4GoLd1229: so they think Sally is abusing AIdan so they wont let her see him anymore
aIm4GoLd1229: so Aidan finally wakes up and the doctor asks him some questions
aIm4GoLd1229: well Somara has taken over Aidan's body and she doesnt wanna hear none of this shit, so shes all like "fuck this shit", so she uses her awesome mind powers to have the doctor take a needle and injection pure 100% O2, oxygen into her bloodstream
aIm4GoLd1229: inject*
aIm4GoLd1229: then shes all like, im bustin out of this wacked out hospital, and so she goes home and sits on the couch and watches tv waiting for Sally to get home
aIm4GoLd1229: well, while Sally is out tryin to find out what is goin on
aIm4GoLd1229: she goes to see Somara's crazy ass wigga mother
aIm4GoLd1229: shes in the mental institution because she tried to drown Somara
Hobbes512: right
aIm4GoLd1229: well bein all messed in the head, Somara's mother is all like, KILL YOUR SON BITCH, ITS THE ONLY WAY, DROWN HIS LITTLE PUNK ASS AND BE DONE WITH IT
Hobbes512: since she's all crazy and shit
aIm4GoLd1229: exactly
aIm4GoLd1229: so Sally is all like, fuck you bitch, i aint drownin my son, you must be some sorta crazy-ass bitch frontin me with all this silly nonsense
aIm4GoLd1229: so she leaves that mental bitch and goes home
aIm4GoLd1229: now, while Sally is gettin her ass home
aIm4GoLd1229: this other guy, we'll call him Bob, comes into the house to check up on things and shit
aIm4GoLd1229: and he sees Aidan/Somara just sittin there watchin tv, and hes all like, dude, arent you supposed to be in the hospital?
aIm4GoLd1229: and shes all like, dude, get off my back, i didnt wanna deal with that shit in the hospital, so i left
aIm4GoLd1229: and hes all like, shit son, well, go to channel 3 if you wanna watch some cable
aIm4GoLd1229: and hes all like, sweet, thanks man
aIm4GoLd1229: so, Bob wants to take a picture of Aidan, but Aidans all like, dont take a picture of me, or ill kill you bitch
aIm4GoLd1229: well, silly Bob takes a picture of Aidan
Hobbes512: silly!
Hobbes512: does it look like Somara?!
aIm4GoLd1229: and well, Somara kills him
Hobbes512: OH NOEZ
aIm4GoLd1229: no, we dont see the picture, but id imagine so
Hobbes512: okay
aIm4GoLd1229: well, silly Sally gets home and is all like, whoa, why are you home?
aIm4GoLd1229: and hes all like, because i want to be mommy, i love you
aIm4GoLd1229: and shit, her name is Rachael
Hobbes512: okay
aIm4GoLd1229: and shes all like, youre not my son because you always call me Rachael, not mommy, so im gonna feed you some sleeping pills in a sandwich and drown your little punk ass
aIm4GoLd1229: and hes all like OH THIS SUXORZ
aIm4GoLd1229: hes been all drowned and shit
aIm4GoLd1229: and Somara escapes from his body and puffs away in a cloud of smoke
aIm4GoLd1229: youd think this was the end of the movie right?
aIm4GoLd1229: oh how wrong you are
Hobbes512: god DAMN it
aIm4GoLd1229: well, Somara decides to go back to her TV show and starts doin her usual comin out of the well scene
Hobbes512: that sounds really bad
aIm4GoLd1229: and Rachael/Sally is all like, god damn this bitch, she wants a mommy, so she says lata playa (Aidan), and Somara grabs her and brings her into the TV
aIm4GoLd1229: Rachael is all like, what the shit, im at the bottom of a well
aIm4GoLd1229: so she starts climbin up this well like some sorta black man from Africa
aIm4GoLd1229: and all of a sudden Somara comes out of the water
aIm4GoLd1229: and she starts climbin the well too but shes got all these crazy moves like bending her legs up above her head, you know, cuz shes dead and all, and dead people can do that sort of thing
Hobbes512: of course
aIm4GoLd1229: so Rachael is just about to get out of the well, when Somara grabs her foot, gee, didnt see that one comin
Hobbes512: of course not
aIm4GoLd1229: Rachael kicks her face in, and Somara falls back down into the water
aIm4GoLd1229: Rachael gets out of the well, and thers this big ass stone on top of it
aIm4GoLd1229: and Somara starts climbin back up
aIm4GoLd1229: and Rachael is like, IM NOT YOUR FUCKIN MOMMY
aIm4GoLd1229: and shuts her into the well
aIm4GoLd1229: now, Rachael is all like, what the fuck do i do now, im in some sort of crazy mushroom forest, geez, i must be high or some shit like that
aIm4GoLd1229: all of a sudden she hears Aidan, and Aidan's all like RACHAEL, FOLLOW MY VOICE OR YOU GONNA DIE BITCH
aIm4GoLd1229: so shes all like, AIdan, im comin, and she jumps of this cliff
aIm4GoLd1229: and all of a sudden, shes on the floor of her living room, and Aidan is comforting her
Hobbes512: hmmm
aIm4GoLd1229: and shes all like, Somara is not gonna bother us again
aIm4GoLd1229: and Aidan's like, how do you know?
aIm4GoLd1229: and Rachaels like, because bitch, just go along with it and hopefully they wont make a third movie, cuz this fuckin sucks, CUT!
aIm4GoLd1229: and thats the end
Hobbes512: nice
aIm4GoLd1229: so you know what you should do with this conversation? HUH?! HUH?!
Hobbes512: put it up on my website?
aIm4GoLd1229: make it into a movie review on your website ;-)
Hobbes512: i was actually considering it
aIm4GoLd1229: DO IT DO IT! I'd feel so honored
Hobbes512: the one issue is that I haven't actually seen the movie
Hobbes512: still
aIm4GoLd1229: its such great material
Hobbes512: heh
aIm4GoLd1229: puh-puh-puh please?
Hobbes512: when i get around to updating, sure
aIm4GoLd1229: yes!!!
aIm4GoLd1229: and i think ill save this conversation as well
Hobbes512: :-)
aIm4GoLd1229 signed off at 5:45:06 PM.
-3.12153/10
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