Amitie, Part 1
Slivers of white petals dotted the air, swirling in the breeze….more splinters than slivers, the pure white rose seemed to have shattered so violently, as violent as the wind that took it away, as violent as the slash of the blade that took it. Utena stared blankly a moment, in disbelief as the Sword of Dios disappeared from her hand. Wetness in her eyes, she squeezed them to try to block it out, maybe when she opened them it would be a dream, a nightmare….no. No she opened them and there was Juri, sword still poised from where she had cut the rose, the barest sliver of a smile on her lips. No.
"Gomen….Himemiya…." her hoarse whisper lost in the breeze as her shoulders slumped… and besides Anthy - no the Rose Bride, you mean after all that time she still didn't…care at all-- wasn't looking at Utena at all, soft rustling of silk red as blood as she stepped closer to her new Victor. After all this time it wasn't….fair…. with Touga at least it hadn't been so long but now, Anthy was her friend. She wanted to get her away from all this, it seemed for so long that she could never lose. Maybe she got overconfident. Maybe that was it.
Juri lowered her sword arm. So it had come at last. The first time, a freak accident, the second her own grief overwhelming her….but she knew that Tenjou couldn't truly defeat her if she was determined not to let her. But….now what? This "Power to Revolutionize the World", this so-called Power of Dios…what was it? What had she been fighting for all this time?
Her eyes landed on the prize, a frail dark whisp of a girl, pruported to have magical powers. This was what they all struggled for, and what Ruka was perhaps dying for? This girl and her empty eyes? Truly when she had spoke to Tenjou that first day she had said this whole thing was foolish, and it still looked so, even with their positions reversed. Why life and death on the head of a flower? Absurd.
But done was done, she was in this fools' game now and now had the part to play as Victor. She nodded once solumnly to Utena, saluting her defeated opponent, before turning towards Anthy, standing a respectful distance next to her. "Let's go, Himemiya." She simply nodded mutely…no words of mocking encouragement this time… and fell into step just behind Juri, still keeping her distance. Well that was wise. If the girl fell all over her as she did after Touga had won her she would find herself slapped across the Arena.
Utena took a few steps back, still unbelieving. They didn't care for her at all, Juri just looked at her as if she were some burden she was stuck with! Didn't Himemiya care at all…? Maybe not, her eyes looked so flat now, was it all illusion then when Utena had seen laughter in them? It just seemed so unreal, like not even happening….she couldn't have lost, not now, not so late! She put her head in her hands….well they were empty, weren't they….she saw Juri and Anthy leave, but it was a blur through her tears…
The white doors of the elaborate cage closed around them. It was….rather tight in here for two people, wasn't it? Juri crossed her arms as she turned and regarded Anthy with stony eyes. If the girl were smart at all she would keep her mocking smiles and simpers to herself. The girl stared nuetrally up at Juri, completely and utterly without statement….unconciously Juri shuddered. She was all too good at that blank stare. "I take it you'll be moving in with me." Joy. As much as Juri was not looking forward to that, she would not put up with living with the Ends of the World, although Tenjou was still niave enough to remain there. Little fool. "You had better fetch your things from your brother's.." lair? "place in that case. And then when you are finished there I have some questions I would like to ask you." Certainly if the Bride was sworn in obedience to the Victor she would have to answer them.
***
She watched the petals float by, felt the silken touch as one carressed her cheek but she ignored it. She forced herself to, forced herself to ignore the hurt look in Utena's eyes. Another failed duelists...all those promises to help her...to free her...for what? She in the end was no different from the other duelist, the others that had held her, had promised her similar things...she had long since learned not to listen to such promises, she didn't know why she had allowed herself to this time.
She studied Juri, her statement blank. There was nothing for her to express, she was a blank slate once more, at least she had to be. She was uncertain as to what Juri might expect from her but she assumed that the woman would just ignore her for the most part. That was perfectly fine with her. The less she had to see her the less she would have to walk on eggshells around her to avoid being hit or yelled at. She moved at last though, closer to Juri but not as close as she would have moved to one of the others.
"Let's go, Himemiya," Juri said simply. Anthy nodded and followed behind her as an advisor would to a queen...several steps behind and to the right. She didn't look back. She would not allow herself to look back at the pale face that she knew would look distraught. Why Tenjou cared so much about her was beyond her. Why anyone cared was beyond her...the fools. Didn't they all understand their place? Didn't they understand that their feelings towards her did not matter...the only ones perhaps that did understand were Touga and Juri. Certainly Juri would not become attached.
They entered the gondola and Anthy continued to keep as much distance as she could between them though the amount of space prevented her from satisfactoraly doing so. She glanced up at her champion, taller then Utena. She took small comfort in the bits of nervousness that Juri displayed though it was not obvious...perhaps that would keep her at some distance.
"I take it you'll be moving in with me," Juri stated. She seemed about as thrilled with the idea as Anthy was. She had no desire to see where the ice queen lived certainly. She had even less desire to stay there. She was also dissapointed because she would have to leave her brother again. She disliked being away from him. Would Utena remain in the tower? No, certainly not. She should just go room with her friend Shinohara, forget about all of this...
"You had better fetch your things from your brother's..place in that case. And then when you are finished there I have some questions I would like to ask you."
"Hai Juri-sama," she said at last, the words clipped, dark. The darkness of revolution was looming and this would not do, to have a new duelist...she would curse Utena if she could for losing the battle...after defeating everyone else she should lose to Juri. Still...she had to play her part, though now that Juri was of those who knew who her brother was, certainly Juri should not expect much from her in loyalties.
At last the elevator came to a stop and Bride and Champion walked through forest. She did not like the idea that Juri would be asking her questions, though it should by all means be expected. She wanted to think that perhaps it was a mistake for Akio to have told them about him...but he must know what he was doing...certainly this must have been planned. She kept her faith in him...she had to...it was all she had.
They split paths as they emerged from the forest. Anthy walked alone to the tower, her dress since vanishing so that she wore her school uniform. She hoped that Utena would not return there for some time, it would not be pleasant to see her there certainly.
She rode another elevator up and the cheerful ping signaled her arrival. The doors slid open and she stepped into the main room, looking around. "Onii-sama?" Her voice echoed through the building and she waited for a moment before walking further in. A frown touched her lips faintly and the went up another level, perhaps he was still watching the dueling arena. Ah...yes.
"This changes things...doesn't it?" She asked quietly. Akio turned around, "Juri-sama wants me to get my things...was this planned? Is this another test of her skill, of her conviction?" But...certainly he couldn't be doubting her abilities now.
***
Ruka opened his eyes slowly, the sound of machines filling his ears. They seemed to bring forth the silence all the more though for certainly if there were someone else there he would not focus so much on the hollow mechanical sound. He wondered though, what it was that had awoken him. The nurses had drugged him last he remembered and he was partly consious of a pain in his chest, most likely why they had drugged him.
But something...something had woken him.
He stared at the ceiling for a long moment, not much else to look at, he didn't like looking at his arm, the needle of the IV visible. There was something unnerving about a needle in the flesh...he looked at it, cringed and then looked at the ceiling again. One thing about death...it certainly had to be more interesting then this...this was just slow torture for what he knew was inevitable.
His eyes flicked to the door as he heard the soft sound of footsteps. Another nurse? No...better. Juri.
***
Akio watched, impassively, as Arisugawa struck past Utena’s….Dios’? charge. A small explosion of white petals burst into the air. He continued to watch as the newly hatched Victor - did she truly want to know what breaking the shell implied? - collected the Bride and exited the Arena. When they had disappeared, he focused his attention on thefallen…prince. Face buried in her hands, obviously sobbing…..a solitary lonely figure shivering in the cold winds, she was just starting to put herself together when he heart the light sound of shoes clattering on the stone floor behind him., the silence also broken by the slightly plaintive call of “Onii-sama?"
"This changes things...doesn't it? Juri-sama wants me to get my things...was this planned? Is this another test of her skill, of her conviction?"
The defeated was shuffling, weavingly and blinded, towards the gondola. Akio merely smiled and lead his sister back inside, down to the living quarters. Once there, he handed her a bag with the essentials she would need. Her emerald eyes widened a second before she took them. His face painted with dark mirth, he told her, “Somehow I doubted Arisugawa would wish to be part of the harem. There should be everything you need.” Yes, planned as always and he had even prepared her things for the venture to her new champion’s place.
Easing himself onto the couch with pretedory grace, he gestured her to sit beside him. “Ne I doubt also that she would miss you for a few moments, stay while I explain.” She sank next to him at his bidding, he longed to run his fingers throug her lavender tresses but it would take time to reconstruct the hairstyle and she shouldn’t be too late for‘Juri-sama’.
“ Utena had lost the duel of conviction. And now she is even less of a prince than she was then, each day unfolding more as a princess blossoming before me,” Akio began. And she was a princess at heart, he felt it when he heard it beating for him, in time she would flower quite nicely, leaving her sword to those who could use it more effectively against the Rose Gate. Anthy glowered slightly at the idea, Akio ignored it for the momement and moved on.
“When last I tested her conviction I used Touga, but he has grown unreliable due to his love towards her. Juri is not hindered by any affection for Utena, certainly. “ Akio laughed at the thought, amusing, Arisugawa with that sweet child. Sweet princess. Akio stared at the ceiling, the false heavens dotted with light…Casseiopea, proud queen, icy and aloof on her throne, enshrined. Her proud heart destroyed her but she thought nothing of that in the prime of her power.
“And although she may never weild the Power of Dios, she has a certain luck dispersing it, at least when Utena is affected by it. The first time she lost by the Power of Dios alone, Utena had nothing to do with it, and her second loss was by her own hand. As you have seen, if Utena’s spirit is not certain enough to bond with Dios more completely, that power will not help her when cold skill and cold steel pierce her defenses.” And when their duel came, the last duel, Akio’s steel would be far colder than Arisugawa’s…Dios’ chosen wavered so, had she truly the determination to make it the last few duels? Perhaps she grew tired of it. “But you saw the duel more closely than I, Anthy. What did you see, in Utena as she fought” and even after the shade and shadow of Dios descended “and as she lost?”
***
At least she did not have to think of the Bride for a few moments, she’d deal with her when she returned. She had many things to ask Anthy about after all. But she had others to ask questions of and she may not have many more chances to get the answers she needed. Quickly she made her way to the hospital.
Hospital corridors, white and steril and empty, very quiet, the muffled sound of a TV from rooms, the squeak of a nurse’s shoe on the glistening polished floor. 324, 325, 326…. Anger still flutters faintly in her thoughts, after what he had done, to her, to Shiori. Hands balled into fists…why was he able to make her so angry, like no other, and so frustrated? But he had been ill and she felt obligated to see her sensei at least once before….well before she became too caught up in this dueling game, now that she was champion. Before that of course. Could she have won, if she were still bound to Shiori, strangled by her? But the way he went about it…and was that what he wished for in the end, truly? Her freedom, alone?
327, 328….nervous laughter from one room, that patient has visitors…. 329. Cautiously she peered in through the open door. Her breath caught, Ruka looked dead or asleep rather. He must be asleep. Was he breathing?
His deep blue eyes were open, the dark color standing out against the pale skin. So pale. She smiled as much as she could manage for his sake. “Ruka. So you’re-“ alive “awake then. I thought I would see how you were doing.” What had he wanted in the end, which miracle? He was slowly buying her freedom from Shiori with his blood, or was it something else. Did he want his life back, his sickness cured? Or was it simply… Cautiously she stepped into the room and crossed to his bed, her eyes riveted a moment to his arm, the IV…it would seem natural to touch his hand but with those foreign objects stuck in it, the needle sticking up like shrapnel embedded in his skin….unnatural looking, she couldn't bring herself to do so. And it looked as though the wrong touch could easily bring a bruise, perhaps it as better not to touch. She sunk into a chair by his bed. His cautions gaze moved over her, and then focused on her chest…she frowned…hey, sick or no it didn’t give him the right…. Going to cross her arms she ran into something silken and soft. Oh.
Hastily she removed the perfect unscathed blossom from her breast pocket, how foolish, she hadn’t taken the time to remove it. His eyes widened slightly, what did he think she was still not capable of her own victories, of her own miracles? At least she could still surprise him even a little. A light smile painted her lips at the thought. Unthinking she leaned forward and offered the pale orange rose to him - a token, he had tried to help, and besides you gave flowers to sick people did you not---
Kiseki wo shinjite.....omoi wa todoku to.
Familiar words echoing in her mind as her clenching fingers bruised the delicate stem. What was she doing? She couldn’t bring herself to retract her hand or to fully give it to him, frozen a second, blip of a heart monitor breaking the silence.
Shinjite--
But it…it wasn’t the same. Wasn’t it? She cast her gaze away from his face and yet trying not to linger on the narrowness of his chest as he breathed shallowly or the hideous looking equipment “I should 0get some water for it.” Or it would die. Flowers for sick people. He wouldn’t think anything of it, he didn’t know. That was…Shiori. Swallowing on a hoars throat….hospital air was so dry….she asked, “How are you feeling?” Hope edged her tone.
***
She was surprised when Akio handed her the packed bag. She was a bit offended to think that her brother would pack for her without her knowing, that he had not told her anything of what he almost obviously seemed to know was going to happen. She had to shake those thoughts from her mind though, if she was supposed to know he would have told her. As it was it was best most likely that she not know about Utena's predicted loss today. Akio already questioned her at times though her loyalty had never wavered...still...this was the first time ever that he had questioned her about her relationship with her champion. It was unnerving that such a young girl could drive a wedge between them like that.
“Somehow I doubted Arisugawa would wish to be part of the harem," Akio said. Anthy nodded. Well certainly not. Arisugawa would just as likely maul her brother as sleep with him and she didn't really like the idea of the amazon catching his attentions like that, it was bad enough already with Utena. She didn't think she had been that angry...and the fact that she had to help orchestrate it all. Yet another thought to drive from her mind.
"There should be everything you need,” he continued, taking a seat on the couch. She aknowledged his gesture, setting the bag on the ground the couch sinking beneath her light weight. “Ne I doubt also that she would miss you for a few moments, stay while I explain.” No certainly not. Anthy wouldn't be surprised if Juri didn't care whether she showed up or not. She pressed close to him
“ Utena had lost the duel of conviction. And now she is even less of a prince than she was then, each day unfolding more as a princess blossoming before me.” Anthy frowned a little. Certainly his interference in her development wasn't helping her at all...but then if she were a true prince she would not give into him...and she had. She was no longer truly noble, no longer truly pure. She was never a prince...she was always looking for her prince and this proved it.
“When last I tested her conviction I used Touga, but he has grown unreliable due to his love towards her. Juri is not hindered by any affection for Utena, certainly. “ Yes...Touga the traitor certainly. Anthy disliked him, especially now that his loyalty was wavering. "Juri is not hindered by any affection for Utena, certainly." She glanced up at her brother who was laughing now, looking up at his stars. She looked up too. She could pick out all the constellations, knew the way that they changed over the year...she could perhaps claim that she was as old as a star...but she was different. Stars died...eventually.
“And although she may never weild the Power of Dios," he continued, "she has a certain luck dispersing it, at least when Utena is affected by it. The first time she lost by the Power of Dios alone, Utena had nothing to do with it, and her second loss was by her own hand." Yes, this was indeed true. Arisugawa always lost not because of Utena, in the way that the the others lost...but because Dios saw it fit. Was Juri then perhaps a second choice of Dios?
"As you have seen, if Utena’s spirit is not certain enough to bond with Dios more completely, that power will not help her when cold skill and cold steel pierce her defenses.” Yes. That made sense. If Utena could not keep up her bond with her inherited power she would not stand a chance and what good was it to support a duelists that couldn't achieve the revolution in the end?
“But you saw the duel more closely than I, Anthy. What did you see, in Utena as she fought and as she lost?”
Anthy stared into nothingness as she thought, trying to pull back into her mind what had happened at that duel. "She has become overconfident certainly of her wins even though I do not think she intends to be...just that she has won so many times already...but at the same time she is less confident in herself as a prince. I have seen her...her eyes questioning, I think they were questioning on the arena as well...so Arisugawa was able to strike the blow. She seemed shocked, much like before though she was more understanding this time." She closed her eyes and rose to her feet. Juri would want her to be there when she arrived and...she didn't really want to talk about Utena any longer. Something akin to anger ebbed at her, perhaps even pity. She had hoped that Utena would have been the one and she had placed her hope, had at times willingly blessed her and now she had failed.
Anthy realized that she had been supporting her to a point... and she had failed. Utena had failed her...
"Gomen onii-sama...I should go now," she said rising to her feet, her voice hard to read as she leaned over to kiss him. She would be seperated from him now too...how could this happen?! "I will see you in one week onii-sama," her lips brushed against his once more and she longed to remain with him but duty transcended her wants and desires. She picked up the bag and left, walking from the tower to the dorms, to the room where she knew Arisugawa was staying. She knocked on the door and waited. She wasn't there...
Anthy sighed and leaned against the wall. She could of course get into the room if she desired but she didn't think that a prudent move on her part. Juri was jumpy and she disliked her immensly...to invade such a secretive persons living space like that would make things even more difficult so Anthy waited, the bag at her feet, her hands folded delicatly in front of her, and her eyes closed.