Chiox, Part 7
Author's Note: Utena during the duel is written by Tati so I don't have to write both sides of the duel myself.
Concentrating on taking deep breaths, Utena walked steadily through the forest. At least she was still wearing her boy’s uniform this time, that would make it easier. Last time one of the worries faintly in the back of her head was that Touga was getting too good of a view when she tried to duel in that silly teal skirt all the girls had to wear Not that it would have mattered so much with Juri-sempai, being a girl and all….well… okay but if she had to pick she’d rather have Juri-sempai than Touga…. ooh never mind! Where was she going with that? Okay. She gave up on that train of thought and focused on the duel she would soon be fighting.
It was going to be okay, she told herself confidently. She’d done this before. Winning Anthy back, and she’d done it. Even without the Sword of Dios. It was her, not the sword that did it after all. She and her Prince. They’d win Anthy back, and then they could be friends again without the strangeness of the Bride situation. Well she would still be the Bride but at least they could talk again, and live together like before.
She wouldn’t loose. There was no way, it just wasn’t possible. She had to get Anthy back…not the Bride, Anthy, her friend. And then when she won the last duel she would free her and maybe next year they could have that triple with Wakaba.
A shape stepped out of the shadows of the forest…her sword bearer. Last time Juri-sempai stood there, and now she and Touga’s places were reversed. “Arigatou again for doing this, Touga,” she said respectfully as she approached.
***
He waited patiently for her to come. Already he had seen Juri and the Rose Bride go past. In his hands was a katana, not one of his best, but it would do for her, especially if by some off chance Juri chose to use the power of Dios in her duel. That is what had destroyed her blade after all.
At last Utena arrived and he stepped out to greet her, holding the sheathed blade. Truly after those little insults of hers he wondered if he should even do this at all. But no, he would rather fight her…
“Arigatou again for doing this, Touga,” she said as she drew nearer.
“Certainly Tenjou.” He said, “No insults this afternoon? Or are you to afraid I won’t let you have this?” he held up the blade with a bit of a grin and Utena looked a little sheepish but covered it quickly. “Take it,” he pressed it into her hand, “I wish you luck.” She was going to need it.
With that he gave her a nod and headed towards the tower so that he could watch. This would be an interesting duel indeed.
***
Juri walked to the white cage, the doors shutting behind the Bride. As they rode to the top, the Bride seemed to go into a trance, her fuku disappeared and for an instant she was clothed only in the two roses she clutched to her. Juri blinked deliberately, it would have been nice to have been warned about that little transformation….when she opened her eyes again Himemiya was dressed in the blood red gown. The crown on her head had just glittered into place when the gondola stopped and let them out onto the Arena floor.
Only the breeze greeted them, tearing slightly at the edges of Juri’s uniform and the rose petals. “It appears the Prince is late,” Juri said darkly, thoroughly unimpressed. The least she could do was be punctual.
Just then an edge of pink appeared at the other gate and Utena strode into the arena with all the confidence of a conquering general. Utena walked over towards them until she was only a dozen or so paces away. “This won’t take too long, Anthy, I promised you that,” she said, her clear blue eyes landing on the Bride an instant as she pinned the white rose to her chest.
The corner of Juri’s mouth twisted upward in a sardonic smirk…so sure she was going to win her dear friend Anthy back, was she? And what blade was that in her hand…Touga’s. Why so he lent his would-be girlfriend a blade, how very sweet of him. “Very well then,” she said as Anthy adorned her with the pale orange blossom. “Let’s begin.”
The Bride looked expectantly up at her…yes. Begin. Dutifully Juri wrapped her arm around the Bride’s slender back, pulling her close. Juri had noted the other champions closed their eyes often at this point but she preferred to keep hers open, wanting to see this for herself from this angle. The Bride’s body fell back as easily as silk flowing. Bending closer Juri mechanically placed her free hand over the Bride’s heart. A beating, there, not heart but sword pulsing beneath her hand, the hilt rising enough for her to clasp it and draw the blade free. The sword seemed to part as easily from the flesh as though water, a gentle pull and it was free. Juri held it aloft a second, watching the light cascade off the blade, mesmerizing….
“For the Revolution of the World,” she intoned solemnly before saluting with the blade and righting the Bride to her feet.
No sooner than Anthy was safely out of the way did Utena come at her, the full force of her passion burning in her eyes. Juri coolly shifted her stance and met Utena’s blade at an angle, not taking a quarter of the force behind Utena’s swipe. Utena stumbled a few steps beyond her, so swift in her approach she hadn’t considered what might happen should Juri dodge. Other times Juri had played this game quite some time, letting Utena wear herself out some by running at her uselessly a few dozen times before bothering to go on the offensive herself. But this was not the time…this was not a time for playing with the girl. Not with Ruka’s only hope resting on the edge of Juri’s skill and Dios’ blade.
Lunging, Juri quickly closed the ground between them and thrust her blade ruthlessly past Utena’s guard. Utena, always so nimble on her feet, that was her biggest advantage after all, dodged aside and blocked. Bringing herself closer still to Utena Juri let half a dozen quick jabs fly in her direction, Utena hastily blocking or dodging them all, but at least she wasn’t giving as much ground as she had before.
Juri drew herself back from attacking a moment, nodding slightly. “Not bad, Tenjou. You’ve learned since we first dueled here—“ Juri didn’t get any further in her mocking compliments, Utena charged at her with a little yelp of rage…the older woman’s eyes widened slightly and she gave ground by a few feet, moving back to avoid taking the full brunt of the onslaught. Utena pushed her back, more viciously than she had ever seen her move, did her friend mean so much?
Why…..why was Juri struggling so? She hated the Bride, the very sight of her soulless eyes gave her chills. Why not let Utena have her, she seemed to enjoy the cursed creature. Why not let her have it.
Turning Utena’s blade aside with a flick of her wrist, Juri’s eyes narrowed in concentration. She had slipped once, underestimating the former Victor, she would not do so again, not with so much at steak. No she had sworn to herself she would bring the prize of this Revolution. She intended to halt Death in its tracks, and compared to that what was one over enthusiastic girl to stand in her way?
. Regaining her control and moved forward, thrusting the sword forward, thirsting after white petals that still evaded her… the swords screamed against each other, begging for a mercy Juri would not give. Putting her strength behind the blade, she threw a few more attacks at Utena, watched the younger girl stumble…so passionate…and still her zeal would be her downfall, she was tired already. Letting the girl catch her breath a split second Juri lunged again, twice again, the blades flicking like silver assigns in the sunlight, seeking the blood of the roses. Driving her across the Arena like herding a sheep, silly sheep, she didn’t see what this revolution was about, playing prince…she didn’t see the life and death judged on scales.
And these scales could only be tipped by rose petals, if they were cut away, they would not count…there was no way Juri was going to let this child waste them when they could be his instead, intact and healthy as he would one day be, not tattered and destroyed…
Juri slashed the blade through the air in a vicious arc, heading for Utena’s rose. She saw it coming and their swords clashed, the sharp sound like thunder cracking overhead. This was not a battle of blades, this was a battle of wills… The younger girl was panting, sweat streaming down her pale face. Fast, and strong as well. Gritting her teeth Juri watched blue sparks fly from friction…she changed the angle of her blade enough to give her the leverage to shove the younger girl’s blade aside.
“Tell me Tenjou do you want your friend back that badly?” Taunting. Utena’s…or rather, Touga’s blade broke from the shoving match and came raging at her, another shout form her lips.
“Admirable,” Juri whispered as she parried. Juri cut the blade sharply and Utena gasped, the barrowed sword slipping sideways from her palm. “Not quite enough.”
***
It killed her to see it, to see Juri pull the blade from Anthy as if she were only a sheath, the method was so mechanical and uncaring and Utena knew faintly that Juri disliked her. Well, she wouldn’t have to see it again, she would win Anthy back she was certain of it. She had to. Her blue eyes lingered on the dark woman as she continued to lean backwards, no change in her breath, unstrained, as if it were perfectly natural for her to bend that way. There seemed something so terrible about it though, about that acceptance of something so unnatural and if Anthy wouldn’t or couldn’t fight it then she would do it for her.
Anthy was safely away and she charged, ready to end Juri’s reign as champion, nothing against her as a friend…but everything against her as a duelist who would seek to use Anthy for their own ends, but it was not a good start, Juri had moved and she stumbled past. She cursed herself mentally but readied herself for another pass. There was something so different in the way that Juri fought her this day and Utena scrambled her defenses together, everything to save her rose. Everything to save Anthy.
“Not bad, Tenjou. You’ve learned since we first dueled here—“ Juri said. Utena paid no mind to the mocking compliment and continued on with the fight, this would end now! Juri moved back from her charge and Utena was unrelenting, how many times had she had to fight these things? How many times had she risked so much just to keep a friend? Sometimes it just made her want to take Anthy by the arm and run away with her, to get her away from this place…one day they would do that, and she could meet Yurika too. Yes.
But Juri was not allowing this, the coral haired woman continued to fight on and the katana moved away under the power of Juri’s skill. Himemiya. She took a precious moment to glance at her, nothingness in her green eyes. So much resided on her didn’t it?
Juri’s blade attacked, the sword of Dios almost kissing the white petals but not yet! Utena pressed the sword back with all her strangth, the sound grating on her ears. It was a terrible sound and Juri pushed her away. Why was she fighting so hard for this?! What would this bring her? Hadn’t all that with Shiori ended? Why continue to duel? She didn’t understand what drove Juri now more then she had been driven in any other duel.
There was an instantaneous pause and she pushed sweat soaked pink strands to the side, her lungs screaming from precious air, her legs wobbly beneath her and her arms weary from the weight of the Katana. It seemed so much heavier then the Sword of Dios, it weighed on her like and anchor. She quickly hoisted it up though as Juri lunged, ending her break
Letting the girl catch her breath a split second Juri lunged again, pushing her back and she realized that she was being led around the arena. Himemiya. Another attacked at her rose, clumsily blocked and she pushed up, another screech of blades. Where was Dios? No! No she could not rely on his strength to save her, she wanted Himemiya back so badly…she had to do this herself. Juri pushed her blade to the side.
“Tell me Tenjou do you want your friend back that badly?” It wasn’t about that! Didn’t she understand? Gods, didn’t she see? Himemiya…a caged girl, a shy girl who had so few friends, who she talked to at night and shared her secrets with, who she loved and wanted to protect…her princess. A Prince to protect Princesses…She cried out and charged, this would end it, she would take the rose now!
“Admirable,” she heard, the sword slipping from her hand…falling….no…no no…“Not quite enough.”
Touga’s blade clattered to the ground and faster then she could move to retrieve it….
No.
She looked wide eyed at Anthy and truly believed that in one instant, she saw utter despair in those sad green eyes.
“Himemiya…” she whispered, falling to the ground like one of her white petals. “Gomen nasaii…” she looked so cold in that moment, like Juri…and she felt that all the trust she had worked so hard to earn had shattered in that moment.
***
One moment. It had moved so slowly, Touga’s katana falling from Utena’s hand, followed by the white petals. Anthy felt…she didn’t know what she had felt, it hurt too much, she was still Juri’s…that meant…officially now that the duels would continue on. No. No…how much more was she supposed to endure of this?!
She wanted to collapse to the arena, she felt so tired even if she had not been the one fighting…no…she was fighting a different battle…every moment of every day…hate filled blades attacking her soul. And they would continue to do so now.
How terrible it was…hope was such a vicious thing and Utena was cruel. Why had she been allowed to taste hope if it was only going to be ripped away?! Where was Dios in this?! Why did he not aid Utena? Perhaps it was because in some way there was hope for her release…her punishment of the blades and this servitude…and after all…why should she be free? Why should she be all these things that Utena wanted her to be? Now she was back to being the stuffed doll, sheath of Dios. And she realized that…
She realized that she…liked that…she liked being spoken to as if she were normal, and the idea of making friends, and cooking and…now she would never have that…
Perhaps this was a good thing then, it was silly! It was ridiculous for her to think in this way! Never had she thought this way so why should she start now? How different was Utena from the other duelists? But what did this mean for her? Oh Gods…what did this mean? It meant what she had always known. Her eternal damnation in this place, in Ohtori…for one action…
She pulled herself from her thoughts, sealed them away and stepped towards Juri, the plastic smile on her lips, “Congratulations Juri-sama,” she bowed her head and took the Sword of Dios back. Felt guilty for her thoughts…for if she did not carry this blade then who would? And he would suffer for it.
***
On the balcony Touga and Miki watched in silence as Juri defeated Utena a second time. “So, she still possesses the Rose Bride…” Touga mused, folding the opera glasses and putting them away.
“Hai,” Miki said softly, watching the spectacle, Utena apologizing to Himemiya, the Bride bowing to Juri…but was it so hard to believe?
***
Orange rose still whole and perfect, white petals spinning in the breeze. Juri drew herself upright out of her last lunge and nodded to Utena, she had fought well. The challenger apologized to the Bride again, Himemiya ignored her, as was usual but somehow still seemed strange. The Bride congratulated her, Juri glanced at her challenger. This had happened before, hadn’t it, Utena on her knees after loosing. But she wasn’t crying this time. “Good duel,” she said coolly before turning on her heel to leave.
Utena couldn’t believe it…she hadn’t really thought she could loose, ever. Not the second time, not Himemiya. And Anthy looked at her with such dead eyes now just like…just like she looked at everyone else. Where was that friendship now, all gone? It sure looked that way, she couldn’t even cry she was just….numb.
“Sempai….why did you try so hard?” It wasn’t for Himemiya, Utena knew that, but she couldn’t just let Victor and Bride walk away again without at least knowing why Juri fought with such determination now. Before she seemed almost indifferent to the duels, Utena always felt she was being toyed with, like a cat before killing the mouse. But these times the older girl seemed so driven.
Juri had been walking away and stopped for an instant. “It’s not any of your business is it? I didn’t ask you your reasons for challenging me again.”
Utena clenched her fists as she got to her feet UGH why did she have to be such bitch sometimes. She bit back the childish retorts, wasn’t much point and sempai would only have more reason to laugh at her.
Tears did well though as they headed towards the gondola…now what….for so long at this school Anthy had been so much a part of her life, what was she supposed to do now? She wasn’t, not now, they couldn’t be friends, she saw that spark die in Anthy’s eyes when her rose was severed.
Utena reached down and picked up Touga’s sword, catching a glimpse of Himemiya disappearing into the gondola. “Sayonara, Anthy….” She whispered into the petal-dotted breeze. Sniffing, she gathered her remaining strength and pride and headed towards the other gate.
***
Juri allowed herself to take a deep breath and release it in relief once they returned to the shelter of the gondola. Tenjou had only lost once before, it would not have been odd for her to have won this time. But she hadn’t. Juri was still the Victor, the chance was still hers. She smiled slightly.
The Bride looked more impassive and distant than ever. Juri began, “I am going to go to the hospital for a while. You may do as you please but I expect you back when I return. I should be an hour or so.” Ruka tired easily and she wouldn’t want to wear him out.
“Hai Juri-sama,” Anthy said automatically. Juri nodded and they parted ways once the gondola brought them to the ground.
Juri made her way through the now familiar corridors. She knocked quietly, hopefully it was soft enough that he didn’t wake up if he were sleeping. No, his eyes, the only part of him that truly seemed alive now glinted in the harsh florsecent light. He gestured her in, he seemed so happy to see her. And she was…happy wasn’t she? Happy that the duels had some meaning to her now, before they always seemed like a duty, that she owed it to the world and herself to disprove miracles. But now she had won, twice, one step closer to her goal, a goal she could actually have instead of a dusty memory.
Stepping over to the bed with a quiet smile on her lips, she said softly, “I brought something for you.” She took his hand gently and laid the perfect dueling rose in his palm. “You look better,” she said with some surprise.
***
Akio drew his opera glasses away from his eyes and pursed his perfect lips in thought. This was not going according to plan. Arisugawa was supposed to be just another test, Juri wasn’t to keep the Bride this long. Utena had failed the test however, leaving him with a tool, not the intended true Victor.
He settled himself on the couch and awaited his sister’s visit, as he knew she would come. Idly he turned on the projector. Even the false stars were lying to him…how could Dios’ chosen fail twice?
In the darkness he heard the elevator ding and the soft clicks of his sisters approach.
***
She could only pray that Akio had answers for her, for truly she could not believe what was happening as she stood next to Juri on the ride down. It should have been Utena…but her desire would not work and…gods knew what happened last time she desired something . Perhaps this was a way of protecting her from herself. But she hated it. Something inside her screamed and begged release, even though her exterior was passive and empty. Why would that part of her not yet die?
“I am going to go to the hospital for a while. You may do as you please but I expect you back when I return. I should be an hour or so.”
“Hai Juri-sama,” she said flatly, almost harshly as if she hated her for winning. Perhaps she did. Or was she capable of hatred? She didn’t know any longer. They left the gondola and parted ways, just as they had done the first time. Back before she returned…how was she supposed to know that? She was the Rose Bride, not a mind reader. She made her way to the tower. He would know. And if anything she could seek some sort of solace in his arms, close her eyes as her cheek pressed against the silk of his shirt and he comforted her.
Another elevator, one that went to virtually the same place…but a different goal. The doors opened and she stepped out, pausing for a moment to remove her glasses, placing them on a small white table. “Onii-sama,” she said softly, her whisper carrying across the room.
“She…” her voice faltered. Could she even bring herself to say it? “Onii-sama she lost…” she looked at him, her eye displayed her confusion, then sat next to him, laying her head on his shoulder. “What does this mean? Why is this happening why didn’t you tell me of this sooner?” she pulled away and examined his eyes…her own begging for direction, for him to tell her it was alright in a way that she would believe it again, and never doubt his word.
***
The Rose Bride had held true to her word he had discovered. It was easier to breath, to move…perhaps it was not much but to him it was…it was everything, it was moments more that he had, that he could spend with her. But he had once again signed his name in blood for it hadn’t he? He wondered when it would be that Akio would call to claim his price, or even the Bride herself. He wondered briefly what he had been thinking but the soft knock at the door and the peering green eyes reminded him. He smiled to see her, another visit so soon, how lucky…a shame he had to be dying to get such attention though. Ah well such was the irony of life.
Juri seemed…different somehow, a smile dancing on her ruby lips. “I brought something for you.” Oh? He glanced at his hand … another! But…against whom? Juri! Ah he was thrilled. “You look better.”
He smiled, “I feel better,” he wished it were real, but…perhaps if he remembered what it felt like to feel better he would keep striving for it. “You look radiant today,” he commented, gazing up at her, reaching to brush her face, “Who was it? Tenjou-kun?” She nodded. “Amazing Juri, I knew you could do it,” he paused to cough but recovered faster then he usually would.
“I expect soon my room will be filled with this roses, I love the color of your roses Juri…” he gazed at it, “It reminds me of the sunrise. It reminds me of a new day,” he smiled again and handed it to her, “Please place it with the other?” She did so and took a seat in the chair next to the bed, “ How was your day? I’m certain you were the envy of the council this morning…” he chuckled, “Have things gotten better with the Bride?”
Her voice the slightest sound, but he heard it. “Onii-sama.” He molded his face into sympathy instead of the concern that had been there and shifted on the couch to face her more. No need to show her this was unplanned, it was the least he could protect her from that as she protected him from the swords.
“She…” Akio did not need to ask whom she was referring to. Utena. Her Prince. “Onii-sama she lost…” Poor thing looked almost broken, a limp rag doll as she leaned against him. “What does this mean? Why is this happening why didn’t you tell me of this sooner?”
He soothed his hand over her head gently, calming her trembling. “I know she meant so much to you. I am sorry this had to happen. But it means that...Utena is not the one to Revolutionize the world.” Frustration gnawed at Akio’s thoughts, if not her, then who? This Arisugawa? Impossible. She failed so many times, her heart jaded and hopeless. She was not worthy. But he did not want Anthy to see him doubt.
“ This was a test, and she failed it. “ So now…beginning again? Reconstruct his plans? Reconsider all the duelists? If she could win at this late stage prehaps the others had potential as well. And in the meantime he would have to come up with ways to shake Arisugawa from her position.
“It’s good we caught this now,” was it? “so close to Revolution…if she is not meant for it, it would have been a travesty to have her advance to that duel. And as many times as we have been through this I would hate to start the duels all over again, so close to the goal.”
Anthy still seemed lifeless in his arms. Did she despair for her Utena as much as that. He folded her into his arms, holding her tightly. “Tell me how she is treating you.” If Arisugawa was abusing his sister, he’d find a way to have her expelled, a lesson Saionji had learned the hard way.
Confirming her suspicious he said he felt better, but soon he turned his attentions from himself to her. “You look radiant today.” Did she? Or did he always think that, so tenderly he touched her cheek..she shivered, his hands were still like ice. “Who was it? Tenjou-kun? Amazing Juri, I knew you could do it.” The smile faltered on Juri’s lips as he started to cough. Looking better or no he was still dangerously ill.
“I expect soon my room will be filled with this roses, I love the color of your roses Juri…” He sounded so whistful as he spoke, far away. “It reminds me of the sunrise. It reminds me of a new day.” Juri swallowed..did it now.
Taking the blossom from him she put it with the other, won just the day before. “ How was your day? I’m certain you were the envy of the council this morning…Have things gotten better with the Bride?”
Juri’s smile faded completely. “No. No she’s just as unresponsive as ever. Cooler even. Perhaps she hates me for taking me from her precious Tenjou…” Juri shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t understand the girl. With more time I may be able to, but she is a mystery to me now and she seems quite content to remain that way.” Juri sighed and swept the thoughts away with a brush of her hand. “The council meeting…gods I felt as though I had been lowered into a shark tank. At least from Touga, anyway. The others seemed content not to contest me. But Touga is so watchful, waiting for the slightest slip, hint of weakness he can exploit. He’s just waiting for me to slip, I know he is.” Grazing her fingertips across the orange petals, she mused, “I understand now more than ever why we are not allies but duelists. In the last hour it truly is each of us pitted against the others. Such a cruel game. “ Juri glanced over at Ruka. “It won’t be an easy thing if Miki is sent against me. I don’t like the thought of dueling with such ruthlessness against one I consider a friend.”
***
She closed her dark eyes as he touched her hair, cherishing the comfort that he gave her, waiting for the words that would make the pain go away. “I know she meant so much to you. I am sorry this had to happen. But it means that...Utena is not the one to Revolutionize the world.” She stiffened. So, it was true then. Utena…was not the one. She had placed hope in a false deliverer, and now that she had hope…it had been torn away. How silly she had been, how stupid. How could she have allowed herself to do this? To fall for the pretty words of her victor? ~I will free you Anthy, You will be a normal girl Himemiya…~
“ This was a test, and she failed it. “ he continued. So it appeared. “It’s good we caught this now, so close to Revolution…if she is not meant for it, it would have been a travesty to have her advance to that duel. And as many times as we have been through this I would hate to start the duels all over again, so close to the goal.” Yes, of course. It would have been terrible she knew, for one not meant to win to go that far…but…she felt deep inside, in her hidden self, that if Utena had won…she would be happy…some, sort of happy though she did not know what that felt like either. All she knew was that Akio made the pain go away for a while and that it didn’t feel so painful with her. And…and now it was all pain again…and victors that did not want her there, that ignored her and spoke of their own problems and how terrible a burden the Rose Bride was. Even Utena had thought her a burden though. She pressed closer to him, inhaling his dark rose scent and wanted to be lost in those arms, oblivious of anything else, but it felt as if the swords that impaled her felt doubly vile today, as if rejoicing in holding her prisoner for eternity.
“Tell me how she is treating you.”
Anthy’s eyes opened slightly then closed again, “She treats me as the others treat me, I am a hindrance to them and a burden. I am confusion, and an annoyance, but necessary for the revolution and so she puts up with me. She doesn’t want me around that much, though she insisted I be home when she gets there. She took me to see Tsuchiya-san yesterday, he is convinced that she will win and had struck another deal. We keep him alive long enough to see her fight in the final duel. I thought it curious of him to ask after last time, but he will owe us…if she continues to win I am certain that you will find use for him.”
Akio nodded, “I see, at least she is better then some of the others and only ignores you…the attentive ones seem the worse for you,” he looked down and tilted her chin up, “Just a little longer Anthy,” but looking into her eyes he wondered if she would last that long. How much was she hiding from him? “The prospect of Tsuchiya is also an intriguing one, keep me informed of that hm? I am curious to see how this develops. Also, dearest,” he drew her nearer, “I cannot watch Arisugawa as closely as I had Utena, she is not as…responsive in some aspects. In that case you must be my eyes and ears as far as she goes. Find out her motives for dueling. What is Shiori to her, now that the chain is gone? What is Tsuchiya, as he was the one who broke her from it? I need to know these things if the Revolution is to be successful for us.”
“Hai onii-sama,” she said softly. She remained there for a long time in still silence, not wanting to leave his side but at the same time feeling the need to be alone, locked away from everyone, even him. Slowly she pulled away,
“Gomen Onii-sama, she…she will be home soon, I should go back.”
“Hai,” he looked at her once more, a bit disappointed that she would leave but knew that the victor’s demands took precedence, or at least should appear that way. He would see her again soon enough. He pressed his lips to hers, enveloping her once more, taken aback by how unresponsive she was, and almost angered by it. That Tenjou would loom this much in her mind…it was insult to him, after a short moment though her lips responded almost hungrily and he wished there were time for more but they broke away and he stroked her cheek gently. “I will see you then…later.”
“Hai onii-sama,” she said softly, studying his eyes and face for a long moment. He had given her little comfort, not in his words. All it meant was that she would have to continue this, continue to change hands among the duelists and now that Utena was cut from the picture, how certain was she that any of the others would attain the revolution? How much longer would she have to endure the barbs and cuts of children? How much longer would she have to endure the pain of the world? If oblivion was to be her place even in the revolution…then why could she not bring it sooner?
“Sayonara, onii-sama,” she said softly, kissing him once more before rising from the couch and picking up her glasses as she walked towards the elevator. She gazed at him from glared over lenses. “Gomen nasaii,” she whispered as the doors shut.
***
Ruka decided that that seemed to be the wrong question to ask as Juri’s brilliant smile faded. He would have to make note to avoid subjects of the Rose Bride then unless she brought it up. He wanted that smile to return!
“No,” she began, “No she’s just as unresponsive as ever. Cooler even,” Ruka wondered if that was possible, “Perhaps she hates me for taking me from her precious Tenjou…” That could be a possibility certainly. She had seemed oddly attached to that girl, but why her and no one else? Certainly that did not make it fair for the other duelists.
“I don’t know. I can’t understand the girl. With more time I may be able to, but she is a mystery to me now and she seems quite content to remain that way.” Well the mysterious always have dark secrets, which they wish not to share. Even he did not know that much, and he knew more then most, a little less then Touga perhaps. Juri dismissed the subject easily though and he did not blame her. Perhaps later she and the bride would grow more understanding; certainly Anthy did not make it easy.
“The council meeting,” she continued, “…gods I felt as though I had been lowered into a shark tank. At least from Touga, anyway,” well that made sense, Touga always seemed to do that, Ruka thought that perhaps he should go into politics or law, he would do well there, conniving as he was. “The others seemed content not to contest me. But Touga is so watchful, waiting for the slightest slip, hint of weakness he can exploit. He’s just waiting for me to slip, I know he is.”
He studied her. It was a burden to be the victor more then blessing. He imagined that it must feel as if they were all gathered around her like scavengers, waiting for their moment to take the Bride from her. He wondered if he would have to challenge her…prayed that that would not be the case, but if it served to make her stronger…would he?
“I understand now more than ever why we are not allies but duelists. In the last hour it truly is each of us pitted against the others. Such a cruel game.” Yes, very cruel, but and game that placed possession of a girl was…well it was bound to be cruel.
“It won’t be an easy thing if Miki is sent against me. I don’t like the thought of dueling with such ruthlessness against one I consider a friend.”
“Unfortunately I do not think that it can be helped,” Ruka said, gazing at her eyes, the way her curls circled her face, “I seem to recall you telling me he hadn’t wanted to challenge Tenjou either but he did and if he still has feelings for the Bride, as innocent as those are they will only be twisted and used against him and yourself. Should you have to fight him do not hold back, though I know you will not. I would only hope that the wound in your friendship would heal shortly. But that will be a while coming I am sure.” Ruka grinned, “I only wish I could be there to watch you wipe that smirk from Kiryuu’s face when you defeat him,” he cupped her hand and ran his thumb along it, “He needs to be brought down a few rungs from his social ladder and I think you could be just the one to do it.”
***
Anthy walked slowly to her new room and opened the door. She continued to feel a steady numbness in what was left of her soul. She flipped the light on, Juri had not returned from talking to Tsuchiya, she wondered when she would…and well, truly did she care? It was more moments that she would not have to endure that scornful gaze.
Chu-Chu scurried to her and she scratched him idly between the ears, “We stay here,” she said softly to him, and closed her eyes at his disappointed sound. She knew. He liked Utena better. “Help me start dinner,” she said flatly. The least she could do was cut some things up and ready them for Juri when she returned. Chu-Chu scrambled from her shoulder and to the counter and Anthy took some carrots from the fridge and peeled them, watching the bright orange skins fall into the sink. Numbly she rinsed them off and placed them on the cutting board and began to chop them. She did it in such careless fashion that it was not moments until the knife blade grazed across her finger.
She stared at it, at the blood that trickled down onto the wooden board, ignoring Chu-Chu’s cries. “I should wash this,” she said softly, dazedly, still staring at the cut, at the blood, and she went into the bathroom, taking the knife with her. She closed the door and could hear Chu-Chu outside, crying and protesting, but none of it registered to her mind. None of it mattered. Nothing mattered, she did not matter.
She continued to stare at the blood as it dripped into the white porcelain of the sink. It didn’t hurt. She desperately wanted it to hurt. She wanted…she wanted to feel something! She wanted to feel pain! She didn’t want to feel this damnable numbness! She just wanted something! To feel…anything other then the swords…
Unthinking she ran the blade of the knife over the soft underside of her arm and the wound appeared, as if her skin parted willingly of its own accord for the metal, and blood spilled into the sink. But no pain…still no pain…it didn’t hurt! Why? She did it again, deeper, and she sank to the floor. Blood like red rose petals dripped to her skit and legs, to the tile floor and the little rug that lay next to the shower. The Rose Bride closed her eyes and clenched her blood-covered fist. Another scour on the dark arm. It seemed to throb now in the rhythm of her pulse. No amount of cuts would bring her the pain she desperately sought, no cut would bring an end to the infernal numbness and she drew her knees close, her head pressed against them. She felt tired…so tired… her wounded arm remained limp at her side, blood spilling to the floor, while her other hand loosely gripped the smooth black handle of the knife. She was faintly aware of Chu-Chu’s upset cries on the other side of the door.