Adoration, Part 12
Miki stretched his arm out a bit and looked around wondering what was keeping her, not that she was late but she was usually there before he was. At last he spotted the coral haired fencing captain but his light demeanor shifted at the dark look in her eyes.
He got into step with her, “We’re still waiting for a few people to arrive…ano, Juri-sempaii, is anything wrong?”
***
Juri attempted to reign in her frustration by the time she arrived at practice, but she threw on her fencing gear in something like a huff. The girl couldn’t make herself more simpering and self-depreciating, could she. She was absolutely impossible to live with.
Trying not to storm into the dojo, Juri made her way past the team members stretching to the front of the room. At least practice was the perfect out let for her anger.
Miki caught up to her as she walked in and Juri nearly turned away from his questioning gaze. He of all of them was the hardest to discuss this with. He still had a crush on the Bride after all. “We’re still waiting for a few people to arrive…ano, Juri-sempaii, is anything wrong?”
Shiori’s head snapped up when the captain entered, and watched, bewildered, as Juri marched past her without so much as a acknowledging her presence. Hadn’t even noticed her. Huh. Not like she noticed anyone else ever. So now Shiori was just everyone else, just like everyone else, not in a unique place in Juri-san’s heart.
Shiori gingerly picked up one of the fencing foils. One of the other members had tried to show her how to hold it but she knew the grip wasn’t right. Maybe if the captain helped her then she’d understand better. Juri-san was always good at explaining things after all. Clearing her throat, she pulled herself up right and walked closer, meaning to ask about the grip and then that Miki boy started to speak with the captain in low tones, completely blocking Shiori’s path…what were they talking about?
“It’s the Bride,” Juri went on in a flat whisper, selecting the foil she would use that day, testing them idly. “I don’t understand it, I tried to talk with her and find out what goes on in that empty cavity she possesses for a heart.” Shaking her head, Juri snapped the foil out away from Miki, listening to the hiss of the thin metal blade parting the air. A gratifying sound. Carefully Juri held the end of the foil, bending it slightly. “No use. Its like she expects and wants us to treat her as subhuman…so frustrating!” The foil arced between her hands, bending as though she had touched someone with it. Juri released her hand and watched the metal spring back into place. No need to take it out on the equipment.
Juri-san was way too busy talking to her close friend Miki to even spare a glance at Shiori, wasn’t she? But from where she stood, closer than she usually stood when she saw Juri-san, Shiori watched with a sort of horrid fascination as the cold anger cascaded across Juri-san’s face. She always looked so cool and collected from a distance. Is this what she looked like up close? And if she got closer still, what would she see boiling there in her eyes, sparking like green flame? The expression on her old friend’s face was so bitter, as sharp as the point of her sword.
“She’s incorrigible,” snapped Juri curtly before lowering her fencing mask, her smoldering gaze veiled by the metal mesh. Now it sounded as though she were talking about a disobedient mutt that couldn’t be trained. But then the Bride seemed to prefer being treated as less than human so what should it matter? How? How could she play her role so flawlessly, so seamlessly? There had to be a crack in her armor somewhere. Juri didn’t know if it was much worth attempting to find. What did it matter? The Bride didn’t care, certainly it seemed as though she would prefer to be thought of as someone with no heart.
Shiori frowned, watching Juri-san’s face disappear behind the mask. So much for getting her attention..was it really so hard? Was she really just the commoner now? Well she always had been she knew that but not to Juri-san. But mostly it was just that Juri-san never used to look like that when they were younger, she had such a pretty open face, like a flower with flame orange petals. Now so often it was pinched and angry and thoroughly disgusted. Shiori looked down at her feet. Was that her fault? It was. Juri-san had such a reaction to her after all. No, no it couldn’t be. She wasn’t that important. Juri-san hadn’t even seen her, after all, that’s how much she really meant. Shiori let the point of the foil tap on the floor…she could make her see her if that’s what she really wanted… no. What was it, if the good child didn’t get attention it tried being bad? She didn’t want to do it like that! She tried that once and it failed anyway. Hadn’t it? Shiori shifted her weight, the foil feeling foreign and heavy in her hands. Juri-san still ignoring her…well. Shiori switched her gaze to the floor. At least she knew her place now. Not that she didn’t deserve it, she just hoped somehow it would be different than she feared.
Arranging her curls so they wouldn’t catch too much in the mask, Juri walked to one end of the strip. For a few moments, anyway, she just wanted to forget about it. Ignore the fact she was the current Victor. This was routine, this was fencing practice, a comfortable constant in a life that was in such upheaval at the moment. “I don’t want to discuss it any longer,” she said brusquely. “You’re first on the lists… when ever you’re ready.” Juri drew her body into en garde position, grateful for the distraction fencing offered.
***
“It’s the Bride,” she told him as she looked over the foils. Miki readjusted his grip on the one that he had chosen already. It was funny at times, how much the struggled just to end up with someone that so many people seemed to despise. Was he the only person to see her beauty, to see that she was worth it? “I don’t understand it, I tried to talk with her and find out what goes on in that empty cavity she possesses for a heart.” Ouch. He wondered what Himemiya had done to get Juri so angry at her, especially…after…gods. He watched her test the blade, glancing at the other students on occasion to make certain that they weren’t doing anything foolish.
“No use,” she continued, “Its like she expects and wants us to treat her as subhuman…so frustrating!” Well…she was the Rose Bride as much as he hated to admit that. Even Tenjou-san had been unable to truly break through her reserves from what he noticed. He winced as Juri bent the foil almost to far. “She’s incorrigible.” Miki stepped away as Juri lowered the mask, glad that he didn’t have to look at her angry gaze. “I don’t want to discuss it any longer. You’re first on the lists… when ever you’re ready.” He lowered his own mask and stood across from her and he could hear the other students shuffling to watch as he went into a formal position, waited…then lunged, his foil hitting hers with that familiar sound.
It was best, he thought, if he could get this to go as long as he could, let her work her frustration out, though he knew she was too professional to let her anger affect her teaching. He closed his ears to the cheers of the students, they meant nothing, the only thing that mattered was form, and getting a touch. It bothered him though, that she despised Himemiya so much. He would give anything to have her at his side…anything to win a duel so that he could perhaps save her from her sorrow. Why couldn’t the others appreciate her?
He pushed harder, until he realized that he was on the offensive, and he kept pushing, until…
The room filled with whispers…
“Kaoru-kun beat Juri-sama…”
Miki lifted the mask and lowered his foil as he worked to catch his breath. He beat her. A shame they were not wearing roses…no! no no, he couldn’t think like that. They were friends after all. Could he truly compete with her for the bride?
***
Anthy leaned against a convenient wall and caught her breath. This was a bad idea, the fencing Dojo was too far from the dorms. What was she thinking? She took a shaky breath, closing her eyes. She should go back…
Juri’s mask disguised the surprise in her eyes as the point of Miki’s foil tagged her just beneath her shoulder.
It was always her weakest point, but it seemed that Miki targeted it with more determination than he usually showed. Removing his mask, she saw the modest pleasure in his statement – it wasn’t often that he bested his sensei – and a confident glint in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
After the salute she nodded once, allowing the briefest smile to touch her lips. “Good. Your offensive moves are improving, but watch your front leg on the lunge, you still have a tendency to overextend.” Particularly when he felt he might get a touch.
“Tsugi!”
Shiori looked on, quietly admiring her old friend’s graceful moves. If she practiced for ten years she could never fence like Juri-san, she just seemed to glide across the floor. Juri-san always excelled at everything she tried. It was different from this perspective, seeing the captain from the floor instead of watching from above. She seemed more real somehow, but closer she looked more intimidating than ever. Juri’s bouts didn’t last, though, not long enough for Shiori. She could watch forever, a silent observer. But that’s all she was, wasn’t she? Watching Juri-san, always, never participating or trying to do anything. Just watching, waiting.
They were split up into groups, Juri continued to watch and critique the bouts while the more experienced students ran the new students through drills to work on the basic moves they’d need before they crossed swords with anyone. Juri, finished with her list, took to her seat on the edge of the strip like a queen claiming her throne. She watched as one of the students lead Shiori away, Shiori catching Juri’s eye over her shoulder. Did she think she’d start right out dueling? She had to pick up the basics firsts. Honestly. Juri set down her foil carefully and folded her arms. The assumptions people made; did Shiori really expect to face her across the strip the very first day?
Shiori tried to mask her disappointment. She wasn’t even going to get near Juri-san. Couldn’t even touch her. Didn’t the captain deign to teach new students, what was it above her or something? She thought at least this way she could get close to Juri-san, try to identify with something she loved and get closer to her. Apparently not.
Juri looked up, a flash of purple catching her eye. It couldn’t be.
Frowning Juri stood up, handing the bout lists to the girl next to her. “Take care of this a moment,” she muttered, not looking at the girl.
It was Anthy.
Her mouth a tight red line Juri marched over to where she was. “I thought I told you to stay at home,” she said as civilly as she could managed. “ Do you feel strong enough to be out yet?” Someone skidded to a halt two steps behind her. Miki. Of course.
***
This presented a problem.
Akio peered at the false star-studded sky, resting his tightly closed fist on his knee.
Utena was fairly easy. She wanted a Prince, he could play a Prince better than most. Better than Touga, certainly, that had been proven.
Arisugawa… first of all, if he tried to play the Prince she may threaten a few choice parts of his anatomy. And secondly she knew who he was. The Ends of the World was no longer a mask to her, but a man and he could not afford to risk anymore of the game by getting close to her, knowing what she did.
It had been simpler, so much simpler, when Utena had been Victor. His little princess…
He considered the constellations with a frown.
Where had he gone wrong?.
Tenjou had lost, and was now lost to both him and Anthy so it seemed. She hadn’t returned to the Tower, he hadn’t offered. Why bother to go out of his way if she wasn’t the one after all. If she wanted to move in with the ponytailed girl he’d arrange it.
If only Anthy hadn’t been so very attached… was that the critical error? Certainly, at least, there was no fear of that with Arisugawa.
Utena’s dream of a Prince was easy enough to manipulate. But there had to be something, some way in which to control this new Victor, should she last.
Opening his clenched fist, Akio moved his open palm carefully, watching the false starlight wink and sparkle from the jagged, broken links. The picture was soggy, torn, still salvageable from the midst of the twisted gold rubble.
The blue haired fool was dying to break these shackles. Could Akio forge them into chains again? Or had she been freed from their bonds?
Fake starlight lit the upward curl of his lips. His fingers closed in on shattered remains of the pendant, clenching his fist until he could feel the bite of metal.
There was one way to find out.
***
“I…” The Bride had barely gasped this out when Miki piped up. Juri was only too happy for the momentary distraction. She let Miki take the lead in comforting her, he probably got along with her better anyway. Or was gullible enough to believe he did.
“Gomen nasaii Juri-sama,” Anthy said on cue with a deferential bow. “ I thought it would do no harm for me to come and watch.” Juri narrowed her eyes slightly. It wasn’t that she came to watch. It was that Juri had specifically told her to stay home and she had specifically disobeyed her. Not that it particularly mattered to Juri that showed up other than she seemed to weak, but why say you would follow the wishes of your Victor and then ignore them when it was convenient? And then when Juri actually wanted something… like asking the Bride to act more human… she’d act as though she were incapable of it. So exactly what wishes of the Victor did she bother to follow?
Miki lead her to a bench at the side of the dojo. Juri followed a step or two behind, fine, let him play at his chivalry if it made him feel better. She was sure the Bride couldn’t care less about his kindness.
“I’m feeling better,” Anthy explained, her voice firmer than it had been. “And I thought that perhaps I could come here…Juri-sama, I…”
Simulatenously they glanced at Miki, he dropped back after looking at their faces and made his way back to the strip, taking over watching the bouts.
“I wanted to apologize for earlier,” the Bride began earnestly. Well. At least, she sounded earnest. Juri’s stern expression remained unyielding.
“ I said something to make you angry. It was not my intention to do so, you asked a question and I only answered it. I see that I was wrong to do so in that way though.” It was an odd way to answer, didn’t she care at all how she was treated? Anthy fiddled with the edge of the bandage that was starting to loosen. “I…want…for us to get along better.” How would she arrange that miracle? Another of her magic tricks? “The start has been a bad one, but you have been kind to me even though you have little reason.” Very true indeed.
“I thought perhaps coming here I could try to make amends.”
Juri stared hard at her a moment before glancing over her shoulder at the strip. Miki seemed to have things well in hand. Deciding they could live without her for the moment, Juri sat on the bench next to Anthy, her rock hard statement softening slightly.
“This hasn’t been easy for me, I’m not used to living with someone else and I am certainly not used to the responsiblities of being Victor.” Being completely responsible for another’s life, it was a daunting task considering how close she had come to failing last night. “You claim you are totally obedient to me and will do what I ask, but you so rarely do! The questions I want answers to, what you truly are, you can’t seem to answer. And I simply asked you to stay put, and you ignored me! I wasn’t trying to cloister you there to be cruel. If you are too ill it becomes my fault, it’s my responsibility. You’re not with Tenjou anymore, she had no one to answer to. I have to deal with the looks of the Council every morning for everything that happens to you.” The pressure was beginning to grate on her already.
Juri sighed softly, trying to let go of some of the tension in voice. “I’m not angry, necessarily.” Although certainly the emotion flared up at times. “I’m frustrated. I have tried to do well by you and you have answered that with nothing but ingratitude and indifference bordering on insolence.” Juri shook her head. “And how do I know when to believe what you tell me? Are you feeling better, or are you lying to me?” She stared at the Bride, trying to judge. She seemed better. Was that just one of her illusions? “If you are truly recovered I should be able to duel today. Is that the case or not?”
Shori was trying, she really was. But the instructor really wasn’t as compelling as Juri-san…Juri-san…where’d she go? Completely forgetting for the moment she was supposed to be paying attention to the engarde position, Shiori frantically scanned the dojo. She couldn’t have left already! She at least wanted to have one word with her…ah there she was, sitting on the bench of in the corner with…Shiori’s statement fell…that Anthy girl again. They seemed to be having a serious discussion…what was going on between them? Then again Juri-san would make other friends, wouldn’t she, she certainly didn’t need her anymore…
“Tatasuki!”
Shiori whipped her head around and focused on the instructor. “Hai!” Maybe the enthusasium would make up for staring off into space.
“Care to demonstrate the proper way to come into engarde for the group.”
“uh….hai.” Considerably less enthusasium as she struggled to get her legs and feet to cooperate at 90 degree angles. Juri-san sure made this easier than it looked.
***
Anthy was surprised by how difficult it was to deal with Juri. She was different from the others in a way so significant that for her to play only princess was not going to work. Once more, being with Utena, living in the tower again…she did not believe that she would have to go back into the front lines as it were and deal so directly with the duelists again.
“This hasn’t been easy for me,” Juri began, “I’m not used to living with someone else and I am certainly not used to the responsibilities of being Victor.” Anthy nodded understandingly on cue. Of course Juri wasn’t used to it. It seemed as if none of them were, so secluded in their own selves to even notice those around them. “You claim you are totally obedient to me and will do what I ask, but you so rarely do! The questions I want answers to, what you truly are, you can’t seem to answer.” But Juri was not special in this, why should she give her answers that she gave no one else? Not even Utena knew these answer…then again, Utena wouldn’t have understood them. As for what she was, Touga only knew that by association. “And I simply asked you to stay put, and you ignored me! I wasn’t trying to cloister you there to be cruel. If you are too ill it becomes my fault, it’s my responsibility.” Now…that was a strange thought wasn’t it? It caught her off guard really. Juri thought it her responsibility to care for her? So…was she a pet then? None of the others had felt that was. God knows Saionji didn’t, he didn’t care at all what the council thought…and Touga…he didn’t beat her…but he didn’t pay any attention to her either, and living with his hellish sister…
“You’re not with Tenjou anymore, she had no one to answer to,” she had Akio to answer too…as did they all, “I have to deal with the looks of the Council every morning for everything that happens to you.” Anthy looked down at her hands. Well…at least she didn’t care about her for her own sake…just for keeping in the councils good graces…Utena’s sincerity always did make things difficult.
“I’m not angry, necessarily,” her champion continued, “I’m frustrated. I have tried to do well by you and you have answered that with nothing but ingratitude and indifference bordering on insolence.” Again…Juri was not special…why did she think Saionji had beat her so often? And truly it was her fault many of the times, playing to the frustration. She knew how to make him angry and she did little to change her actions… “And how do I know when to believe what you tell me? Are you feeling better, or are you lying to me? If you are truly recovered I should be able to duel today. Is that the case or not?”
Anthy found that she would have to choose her words carefully. She was tired, but it would not prevent her from performing her duties. Doubling as Mamiya had provided just as much strain to her body, if not more. “I can handle it,” she answered, meeting Juri’s eyes, “Do not worry so much about me Juri-sama…though those on the council give you careful stares, none of them are any better. Certainly compared to Saionji…at least you care what the council thinks…he never did and Touga was little better…but being ignored and untouched is far better then being adored and manhandled.” Is this what she wanted then? Were these things that Juri wanted to know? Anthy was very willing to trade small bits of information for a chance at better being able to control her victor…all the others were so easy…but not her…
“I am…sorry that I have not taken well to your kindness. Please understand that I take it cautiously.” She looked down at her bandaged arm again. “You wish for me to answer questions?” slowly she looked up, “Already you know who my brother is…and you have seen the Ends of the world with your own eyes…If you keep what I tell you in confidence…and do not share it with the others then I will answer you…as straightforward as I can if that will help matters. As for obeying your orders…” she was going to push slightly and she knew that she was, but part of her could not help it and slowly she glanced up at Juri, “You yourself said that I was to do as I wished, you said you needed no servant and that you needed nothing from me. Has this since changed then?”
***
After a moment Anthy met Juri’s gaze and kept her eyes steady. “I can handle it,” she said with more conviction than any other time in the conversation. “Do not worry so much about me Juri-sama…” Juri kept the exaspiration off her face. How could she not worry? She turned her back for two seconds and the girl was slitting her wrists! Who knew what she might try next, although Juri was certain it wouldn’t be anything like that again. “though those on the council give you careful stares, none of them are any better.” Miki was, she was sure of it. Then again he never truly seemed to fit into the duels so much. “Certainly compared to Saionji…at least you care what the council thinks…he never did and Touga was little better…but being ignored and untouched is far better then being adored and manhandled.” They were fools for treating her that way. It was better this way, after all.
“I am…sorry that I have not taken well to your kindness. Please understand that I take it cautiously.” The Bride’s steady eyes wavered and cast down towards her arm. “You wish for me to answer questions?” Juri leaned forward slightly despite herself. Was she finally going to hear?
“Already you know who my brother is…and you have seen the Ends of the world with your own eyes…” As glorious as that was…Juri refrained from rolling her eyes. Man had quite an ego, using a psydonym like that. But she also knew that was nothing compared to the mystries that wove about this game like a tight tapestry, hiding the secrets from even those involved.
“If you keep what I tell you in confidence…and do not share it with the others then I will answer you…as straightforward as I can if that will help matters.” Juri tried not to look too eager. Finally she would have the information she had been lacking, the key that would make this insanity fit into some sort of order.
“As for obeying your orders, you yourself said that I was to do as I wished, you said you needed no servant and that you needed nothing from me. Has this since changed then?”
Juri shook her head. “No, it hasn’t. I don’t want you serving me. But I was trying to keep you from overextending yourself, but if you feel you’re well I suppose I will trust your judgement. As for the rest..” Juri considered a second, a pensive statement on her face. Would she keep secrets from the others now, as Touga had done? Well she was the Victor didn’t she have a right to keep a few things quiet? Surely Touga and Saionji didn’t share with the Council everything they had done with the Bride. “I would be interested in hearing you, but this is not the place to discuss it. And I have to return to fencing. Stay if you like, but afterwards we will be dueling, you may want to prepare yourself elsewhere. I’ll have to call Saionji… Meet me at the gondola, then.” Juri nodded to her and rose to her feet, more satisfied about the situation. It seemed at least the Bride was willing to go halfway now instead of being as obstinate as a mule.
Juri took the lists back from Miki, who looked at her with thinly veiled curiosity. “Sorry about that…. Tsugi!” Luckily they were almost through.