r. Mullin slows his car for a bit to gain his bearings, and then, after a
brief moment of uncertainty, triumphantly announces that this is definitely
the house -- an unimposing red wood-frame cottage, set back against the
winding suburban sprawl of Cresskill. He'd often dropped Jon-Erik off here,
but that had been many years ago, and since the memorial service back in 1984,
his visits had been only sporadic. As we walk up toward the house, the door
opens, and we are welcomed by a friendly couple in their 70's. The day had
gone much better than I'd ever imagined: I was now in the company of Hexum's
Aunt Dorie and Uncle Ed!
We soon take our places around an impeccably kept living room, accentuated by three white candles burning in the front window; a book on Norwegian decorating sits on a shelf nearby, as well as a snapshot of Jon-Erik from November 1983, surrounded by his Aunt and a bevy of cousins. I explain that a web-page has been created in Jon-Erik's memory, and that I'm visiting Tenafly to help gather material for it. Despite a recent broken hip and wrist, Dorie is nonetheless quite spry, and happy to share her memories with us. She first recalls how Jack, as a child, used to play in the yard with her daughters, Ellen and Cheryl.
Soon, however, the conversation turns to the family history, and Dorie feels she has to set her nephew Eric Paulsen straight on one of the details: "My father wasn't born on a boat!" she insists, and begins to explain how it was that her parents came to live in America.
"Their names were Peter R. Paulsen, and Karen N. Snipen. Peter was Icelandic, and Karen was Norwegian."
"From Oslo?" I ask.
"O-slo," corrects Aunt Dorie, giving it the proper Norwegian pronunciation. "No. She was from a small town on the way to Stockholm called Kongswinger. Around 1912, or '13, they came to the United States for their honeymoon, and went to Minneapolis. It's a Norwegian custom to have long honeymoons, and when they were ready to go back, they got a message saying, 'Don't come back now! The Kaiser's sinking ships!"
"That was the at the start of World War I," interjects Mullin, well-versed in things historical.
"Yes," concurs Aunt Dorie. "So they settled in Minneapolis, and had the four of us: Robert, Stan, myself, and Gretha." Of the four children, only she and Eric Paulsen's father Stan still remain today. "After a few years in Minnesota, we left because it was too cold, and my mother had some family down in St. Louis, so we moved there in the 30's."
"I was in St. Louis for a while," says Mr. Mullin. "Which part of the city did you live in?"
"University City. 6511 Plymouth Avenue...Then, around 1946, Gretha and I went on a trip to Norway to visit relatives, and on the way back, we decided to stay in New York for a while, and live there. Gretha got a job working as a secretary on Wall St. and lived in Ft. Lee. I met Eddie, and we came up here."
"So how was it that Gretha met Thorleif Hexum?" I ask. I'm careful to get my Norwegian pronunciation right this time, which is duly noted by Aunt Dorie."
"In 1952, Gretha went back to Norway to visit relatives, and she met Thorleif coming back on the ship. Thorleif stayed on in the United States, and they were married not long after that."
Over the ensuing years, Gunnar and Jon-Erik were born, and the proximity of the two households helped foster a close relationship between the families of the two sisters, especially after Gretha's divorce from Thorleif in the early 60's. Dorie's house, in fact, became a sort of second home for Jon-Erik, who maintained his strong ties with his Aunt and Uncle well into his adult years.
"I remember, on his 23rd birthday, he was sitting at that table, all depressed," she continues, indicating the dining area behind the couch. "I asked him what was wrong, and he said, 'I'm 23, and I still haven't done everything in life that I want to do.' I said, 'How dare you say such a thing! You have your whole life ahead of you!' It was almost as if he knew he wouldn't be here for long..."
We round off the visit by looking at some old photographs of the Paulsen family, which include a shot of Peter and Karen Paulsen, as well as some pictures of a young Gretha. Then, as I prepare to leave Aunt Dorie takes my hand, and smiling, says, "Thanks for helping to keep his memory alive." I assure her that he will continue to be remembered for a long time to come.
Return to the Jon-Erik Hexum Remembrance Page
