Weird Celebrity Quotes

• New:"I used to sleep nude--until the earthquake."
  --Alyssa Milano
  
  
• "I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting."
  --Ewen McGregor on being cast as the young Obi-Wan Kenobi in the upcoming StarWars prequel
  
  
• "He's so pathetic, poor thing. It's like a monkey with arthritis trying to go on stage and looking young."
  -- Elton John, on Rolling Stone Keith Richards. The cat fight between the two 50-ish rockers began when Richards fired the first shot by saying John was only good for "writing songs for dead blondes."
  
  
• "I've got all this pressure to keep trim as Sporty Spice - I used to drink lager and blackcurrant, but I had to stop because I was getting a beer gut. I could have ended up being Fat Old Lazy Spice."
  --Mel C, one of the "Spice Girls"
  
  
• "I pinched everyone’s bottom. Why am I going to stop at the Prince?"
  "It was not bad"
  --Spice Girl Geri comments on Prince Charles’ butt, which she tweaked at a charity event in England.
  
  
• "I just want him (Tom Cruise) to wear Armani around the house and fetch me things."
  --Rosie O'Donnell
  
  
• "It's kind of tough to explain to people when they come to your house why you've got naked pictures of a Russian muscular man on your wall."
  --Matthew Perry on the predicament he was put in after he rented an acrobat's luxury apartment in Las Vegas. The burly Russian acrobat had decorated the apartment with naked pictures of himself.
  
  
• "There are times when you want to say, 'George, take the blue pill!' But every now and then, to look over and see him with a urine container on his head just makes you feel a little better about your work."
  --Julianna Marguiles talking about ER co-star George Clooney
  
  "What's nice about my dating life is that I don't have to leave my house. All I have to do is read the paper: I'm marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. Kennedy, Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day."
  --Julia Roberts
  
  "I just pee in the costume."
  --George Clooney, on what he does when nature calls while he’s in the Batman Suit.
  
  
• "The most daring thing I'd like to do is have sex with Madonna. (embarrassed, laughing) Uh, I mean, Uh, Dennis Rodman, Uh I mean uh..."
  --Devon Sawa, when asked "Is there anything really daring that you'd like to do?"
  
  
• "I worked with Big Bird almost exclusively. I plucked a couple of his feathers out to give to my niece, and he was very gracious. He just said that they cost, I don't know, $1.75 apiece and that I should make sure I didn't lose them
  --Noah Wyle, discussing the pinnacle of his career, appearing on Sesame Street
  
  
• "Sometimes when I'm swimming, I think that maybe someday I'll put my red Speedo up for auction. Or maybe I'll donate it to the Smithsonian. They can stuff it with two plums and a gherkin and put it on display."
  --David Duchovny
  
  
• "The first time I met [Sylvester Stallone], he had golf tees up his nose. So I figured we were going to be OK."
  --Sandra Bullock
  
  
• "I have these big piano-playing hands. I feel like I should be picking potatoes."
  --Sandra Bullock
  
  
• "I'm a salty, greasy girl. I give every french fry a fair chance. Could you just lay some lard in my belly?"
  --Cameron Diaz
  
  
• "I'm a video game addict. I could have written 15 more records in the amount of time I've spent playing Doom."
  --Trent Renznor, Nine Inch Nails
  
  
• "I had huge zits,...a huge cold sore on my lip,...stretch marks all over my butt,...birthmarks, bruises. You name it, it's airbrushed."
  --Jenny McCarthy revealing the secrets behind her best-selling poster
  
  
• "I might have been through some changes, but changing the way I look wasn't one of the major ones. To be honest. I'm sick of the whole subject of my hair. I mean, are you just sitting there looking at my hair, or are you looking at me?"
  --Jon Bon Jovi
  
  
• "I drive with my knees. Otherwise, how can I put on my lipstick and talk on the phone?"
  --Sharon Stone
  
  
• "That she's the worst driver in the history of drivers. If I know she's going somewhere, I stay home."
  --Matthew Perry, when asked what time has taught him about Jennifer Aniston
  
  
• "The key to any good relationship, on-screen and off, is communication, respect, and I guess you have to like the way the other person smells--and he smelled real nice."
  --Bullock on the subject of her on-screen chemistry with Keanu Reeves
  
  
• "It's all happening too fast. I've got to put the brakes on or I'll smack into something."
  --Mel Gibson
  
  
• "I'm an old-fashioned guy. . . . I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something."
  --Johnny Depp
  
  
• "I'd like to put on buckskins and a ponytail and go underwater with a reed, hiding from the Indians. . . . To me, that's sexy!"
  --Kevin Costner
  
  
• "I wasn't always black . . . There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger."
  --Bill Cosby
  
  
• "I'm really white trash."
  --George Clooney
  
  
• "Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass."
  --Jim Carrey
  
  
• "I don't want anything I don't deserve, [but] if they offer me more money, I'm not a-stupid."
  --Antonio Banderas
  
  
• "There's no better jokes than joking about your crotch. And now I'm walking this line where we can't say poop."
  --Tim Allen
  
  
• "I've always really wanted a brother, and Chris to me was my ultimate brother. I mean, we'd clean each other's ears out with Q-Tips."
  --Drew Barrymore, talking about Mad Love co-star Chris O'Donnell
  
  I've always been a sucker for attention.
  --Cuba Gooding, Jr.
  
  
• "I don't like woman with hairy armpits. I think it's disgusting. I don't think it's ladylike. I don't think it's feminine. I don't like it. I think it's gross."
  --Chris O'Donnell
  
  
• "It's my skirt that's doing all the acting"
  --Heather Locklear
  
  
• "I'm certainly not happy. I want a boy very badly right now. I need a boy."
  --Claire Danes
  
  
• "I had to scream a lot--for twelve hours a day from seventeen different angles. I mean, to keep dredging up those tears that came after . . . I'm not going to have P.M.S. for five years."
  --Drew Barrymore, on filming Wes Craven's Scream
  
  
• "I don't think it's any of my business, much less any of yours. By the way, what size jock do you wear?"
  --Jerry Seinfeld, responding to an audience member who asked what size bra the comedian's well-endowed girlfriend, Shoshanna Lonstein, wears
  
  
• "Don't let the boys burn!"
  --Mel Gibson, upon realizing his two Oscars were in his fire-threatened Malibu home
  
  
• "I'm really sorry for Pam if she really believed he had given up his wild ways for the delight of wiping up baby drool. This may be Pamela's fantasy, but it certainly ain't Tommy Lee's."
  --Heather Locklear, the former Mrs. Tommy Lee on the rocker's pending divorce from Pamela Anderson Lee
  
  
• "Haven't you heard those rumors? From what I've heard, there's no padding involved."
  --Teri Hatcher, when asked about the tights (and package) of her Lois & Clark co-star Dean Cain
  
  
• "I tried it once and then I asked myself where's the main course?"
  --Courtney Love, on bisexuality
  
  More to come later....
  
  Got any really weird or hilarious quotes from celebs? Or want to make a comment?
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