Standard Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing.
Thanks go to Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand for the inspiration
for this story. The song 'Tell Him' was produced by david Foster and
Walter Afanasieff off the album: 'Let's Talk About Love'.
A New Year's to Remember
By Reets
1 of 1
Look at him, smiling at everyone in the room, charmer that he is. Perfect man, perfect friend, precept, love. He's such a beautiful man. He looks quite dapper in his tux. The music is perfect tonight on New Year's eve. I'm here, Derek's here, if only he'd ask me to dance. I had such a hard time chosing which dress to wear tonight. He was so generous at Christmas, I wanted to go to him, thank him properly, but I couldn't. What would everyone think of me?
If only he'd ask me to dance tonight, I'd whisper it in his ear how much I care for him and how much I love him. Nick seems to be holding his attention tonight. I wonder what those two are up to, too many grins and quiet laughter and whispers. If Nick would only look, I'd catch his eye, there. Now give him the nod, yes, here comes Derek.
"What is such a beautiful creature, such as yourself, alone tongiht?"
I slide my hand into his and he twirls me out onto the dance floor.
Such a perfect song.
'I'm scared, so afraid to show I care,
will he think me weak, if I tremble when I speak
Ohh, what if...
There's another one he's thinking of,
maybe he's in love,
I'd feel like a fool, life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do.'
He's holding me away from him, it's only inches, but I want be closer, listen to his heartbeat, feel his warmth.
"Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes,
reach out to him,
whisper tender words, so soft and sweet,
I'll hold him close to hear his heartbeat,
love will be the gift you give yourself. '
"The party's going great." Why did I say that, it sounded so lame.
"Yes, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves."
He's not listening, he doesn't hear the words, so distant. His eyes, they're smiling, but not at me. I twirl to find his source of joy, Nick is smiling back and waves. What's different tonight? Other parties, other nights, other New Years he's been mine, why not tonight?
"Would you rather be somewhere else Derek?" His eyes, so clear, so beautiful, they smile at me this time.
"No, why would you ask that?"
"It's just..." I feel the blood rushing to my face and look away. "There seems to be something you're not telling me, something's different about you tonight." he shakes his head. "Something's making you glow." I can see the fear in his eyes or is it concern, I've touched on something.
"I don't know what you mean." He pulls me tighter, his warm hand on the center of my back. "And I'm not glowing."
"Come on teach, spill it."
"Honestly Alex, I have no idea what you're talking about." his accent is getting thicker, I've touched a nerve.
"Are you seeing someone?" I meet his eyes and the look tells me all, he looks like the cat that got caught with the canary in his teeth.
"Alex you're imagining things, there's nothing going on." a spin and he's at arm's length. Rachel and Nick approach and he smiles. "Switch?" I nod and head for Nick, but Derek grabs him and twirls him around. The laughter fills the room and Nick pushes him back. I swear Nick's blushing. Rachel takes Derek's hand and pulls him away.
"What was that about?" Suddenly he's holding me tighter. "Nick?"
"Alex, you know how Derek is, he's just being silly."
"Yeah, right. I've never seen him do anything like that before."
Suddenly the music stops and Derek steps up. "It's almost midnight everyone, grab your partner." I reach for him but he whispers something to Nick. "We'll be back in a second, there's something we have to check out."
"Is everything ok?"
"Yes, just a security thing." I can't help but think something's up, so as they head through the door I follow, quietly. Derek holds the door and Nicks lips through the door leading to the basement. He glances back and I hide. I hold my breath, praying he didn't see me. He's not there, the door is closed. Waiting only seconds I push it open and climb the steps slowly. The basement is glowing with candles and the sound of soft music. Someone's talking.
"Nick, I know this is strange, but I had to talk to you."
"What's up? We shouldn't be away from the party too long."
"There is a saying," Oh my God, he's holding Nick's hand. "That whatever you're doing on New Year's eve at midnight, you'll be doing the same, this time next year."
"It's almost midnight and I wanted to do this." No, his lips meet Nick's. Why doesn't Nick push him away? This can't be happening. Not Derek, not my Derek.
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Years Love." They kiss again, this one deeper, his hands holding Nick close.
There's nothing I can do but run, run from what I can't handle. What can I do, what could I have done, why didn't he love me? I close the door quickly and head back to the party. Confetti and streamers are flying all over the room, it fills my hair and face.
"Alex?" I can see the concern on Rachel's face as I walk past, outside to the open balcony, the cool wind blows through my hair and dry my damp cheeks. At least now I know, I know why Derek has never returned my feelings. The truth clings to my soul. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I think I finally am." Her arm comes around my waist and I lean into her embrace. "Did you ever love someone only to find out they were in love someone else?"
"I don't know, I only remember Patrick, after I met him, I forgot everyone. Why do you ask?" I push the answers down as Derek steps out and puts an arm on each of us.
"Happy New Years," His lips brush my forehead and I turn away, I don't think I could handle it if he saw my face right now. Rachel squeezes my hand.
"I'm going to turn in, it's been a long day." Rachel nods and I slip past Derek, without touching him.
"Alex," *not now Derek, I can't, not right now.* "Is there something wrong?"
The concern is so genuine in his eyes, how can I tell him he hurt me without even knowing it. Nick is watching from the corner, chatting with other people. His skin is so soft under my palm as I caress his cheek. "It's nothing Derek, really, I'm just tired." Bad decision.
/Nick's chest is covered with sweat, his breathing raged as Derek moves above him/
"Oh God!" I tear away, knowing if I stay Derek will know that I know. Nick is blocking the stairs, concern in his eyes. "Move Nick." He's not, he's reaching out a hand to me, my friend, my confidant, my love's lover. *NO!* I hit him, I can see the pain in his eyes as he flinches away. *I hit Nick*. The front door my only escape I run. As fast as I can as far as I can. These damn heels, shoes were made by men. I toss them aside, but it slows me, Derek is almost there, his hand on my arm.
"Alex, stop this, what's wrong? Did you have a vision? What was it?" He's there, holding me, his breath warm on my neck. How do I tell him?
"It was you."
"What was it, tell me please." I can't meet his eyes, can't say the words. How do I tell him?
"It's nothing." *No, don't touch me Derek, not now, not knowing what I know.* "I just need some air."
"Something gripped you Alex, you were pale as a sheet. Please," His fingers on my chin and I look into those eyes, those beautiful green eyes. "Tell me what you saw?"
There's nothing for me to do, I pull away and take a few steps. "I saw you," His face holds the frown of confusion. "You and Nick, kissing." My words are harsher than I wanted and I can see he pain on his face.
"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you myself, after we...after we were sure."
"How long?" I can't face him now, the hurt look on his face, I just want to hold him, not hurt him, even with words.
"Since Christmas, we've been lovers since Christmas."
The looks, the motorcycle, the insistance on my having a date on
Christmas Day, it all falls into place.
"Do you love him?"
"Yes...yes I do."
"And does he love you?" The anger boils to the surface now and I spin, catching him off guard. "Does he love you like I do," I can see the shock, he never knew. "Damn you Derek." I am running again, to nowhere in particular, just running. Truth revealed, truth heard, nothing left but consequences. I can't face them tonight, not with all the pain.
~to be continued~
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