I keep getting drawn back to the Legacy. Though I try to fight it -- try to stay on the path I think that God intended for me to take -- I keep getting pulled into my "other" life. And then, I have to deal with HIM again!
Everytime I see him, my heart soars and aches at the same time. Where we were once friends, we're now barely acquaintances; where we were once partners, we're now like adversaries. I see the hurt, distrust and betrayal in his eyes when he looks at me and I see how he does his best to avoid me. But Derek keeps pushing us together -- remembering the great team we once were.
Again, I find myself BACK at the Legacy, again drawn into another case they need my help with -- and yet, this time I need THEIR help as well! I came to my friends and former associates at the Legacy because I was unable to help one of my parisheners who was being plagued by a demons during their sleep. Now, of course, I am involved in resolving the case WITH them.
But everything now with Nick is a challenge. I must deal with his sarcasm, his anger and his ridicule in order to just be in the same room with him. The hardest thing I have to deal with, though, is my overwhelming desire to take this young man and make love to him! I know that the Church believes that kind of love -- and indeed, ANY kind of love for a Priest -- is wrong, but they don't understand how much I care for him, how much I love him in the deepest reaches of my heart and soul.
We must solve this case soon -- not only for the sake of my parishener, but for myself as well. I don't know how much longer I can bare being so near him and yet be totally unable to touch him, love him, the way I want to! And this time, when I leave, I must find a way NOT to be drawn back into the Legacy. I must find a way to forget Nick Boyle and the desire I have for him. I must find a way to get on with my life.
But for now, I must go back down to the Control Room to relieve Alex from her research and once again sit beside Nick in silence, breathing in the smell of his cologne; watching his taunt, tense body as he moves about the room, sorting his portions of the research data; knowing all the time that I can never again have the relationship with him that we once had -- let alone the one I dream of every night.
So I pray to God now that this will be the LAST time I'm drawn back to the person I love only to be denied of their touch; the LAST time I'm drawn back to my own personal Hell!
DRAWN BACK
By Lace
Any comments to addy below, they will be forwarded to author.
© 1997 reets@vallnet.com
Get your own Free Home Page