A Dish Served Cold

By Reets

...For of all sad words of tongue or pen,

The saddest are these: "It might have been."
---Whittier

Derek stared out the window, overlooking Nick's final resting place. It had been a month since the disease had taken his love and he was no closer to adjusting, than he was then. It haunted him. Nick's last words, something he should have told Derek, but what? Was there something about the abduction that Nick had forgotten to tell him, something that would have made a difference?

Rachel worked through her own grief, by helping the others. Each taking their turn facing their loss in their own way. Derek was still at stage one, his denial growing everyday.

Philip pulled Alex and Kristen into the control room and sat them down. He studied Alex's face for a bit, her mood similar to Derek's. "I loved him too, you kno' that. But we must find out what this Lab had to do with his death. There could be others, what about Jonathan?"

"We still can't find him, ever since those government guys took him from the island, he's disappeared. The so called 'organization' that he worked for still doesn't seem to exist. So we can't track him that way." Kristen finished and looked to Alex.

"We should get Derek involved, he needs it."

Philip nodded. "It's still too new, he's taken it hard."

"You would too, if you loved Nick like that." Alex stood up, sending her chair flying across the room.

"Alex, I kno' that Derek is hurtin, but..."

"But what?" They all jumped and turned to see their Precept staring at them.

Philip grew nervous and it took him a bit to meet Derek's eyes. "I just thought if you got back to work, it would help you."

"There's nothing that will take away the pain, Philip, but you're right, moping around here isn't going to bring Nick back. Nothing could do that now."

Alex handed Derek a thick file folder. "This is the information we've gotten on the Lab, they were being investigated and I think we should get in there before they pull up stakes."

"We can't prove Nick was ever there. We only have our speculations, there's nothing to go on." Derek dropped the folder onto the console and sat down. "London was on the line this morning, they want any investigation into the cloning, dropped."

"Someone's got their hand out and it's raining money." Kristen said, punching up something on the computer. "Seed, needed funds a few years ago and a private organization donated big bucks to keep the facility going."

"Good, find out who and we'll have a chat with the chairman of the board."

"Done, his name is Simon Renfield, 43, the company is his pet since his father's death a few years ago. His organization deals with sperm donation and the freezing of embryos. They've been under a lot of scrutiny lately, the idea of freezing fertilized eggs for future is disturbing to a lot of people." Kristen finished, her eyes resting on the sad face of her new Precept.

"I can see why, the idea of freezing babies is hideous." Rachel added joing the group at the computer screen.

"It all depends on your beliefs, some people don't see it as freezing something that is alive and already has a soul. Point of view really." Derek crossed his arms across his chest, his mind not really on the task at hand.

"This goes much deeper Derek, when exactly do you become a human being, conception, a three month fetus, when?"

"I'm not here to argue for one side or the other Rachel. Kristen, let's set up a meeting with Mr. Reinfield, see what he has to say. Philip could I see you a moment?"

Philip nodded and followed Derek out. Once they are down the hall, Derek heads to his office door and waves Philip inside. "I haven't been myself lately and I wanted to let you know, how much I appreciate you taking on some of my responsibilities."

"No need to explain, Derek. I understand." Derek forced a grin and walked away.

"Did you make your peace with Nick?"

"Wha' do you mean?"

Derek sat down behind his desk and opened a journal. "I shall never forgive myself for hurting Derek and Nick. If it hadn't been for me, none of this would have happened. Nick would be alive and Derek would be happy again. There is little I can do to change this, except be there for Derek, if he ever asks. My lustful intentions have brought shame to me and nothing but pain and suffering to this house. When Derek is better I shall leave and never return."

The blood rushed to Philip's face as he jerked the diary from Derek's hands. "This is personal, Derek, you no' suppose to read it."

"I know and I'm sorry, but I had to know how you were."

"You could have asked." Philip regretted the volume as the words flew from his lips. Philip was on the verge of tears and when Derek rose and stepped toward him, the tears fell, hot and heavy, buring his eyes and cheeks. When Derek wrapped his arms around him, he let them go and sobbed in the warm embrace.

Derek held Philip tight as his own tears fell into the ex-priest's hair. "It wasn't your fault Philip."

"Yes, it was!" Philip tore his body away. "I came between the two of you, if I hadn't been here, Nick would have never considered leaving you for Jonathan."

"How can you know that?"

Philip stood there complexed and confused. "What do you mean?"

"He left me for you, didn't he?"

"For one night Derek, that's all for one night."

"Yes, his attraction to you was very strong, as well as his love. Who's to say that he wouldn't have left for Jonathan to begin with."

"How can you say that, you know how much Nick loved you."

Derek sat down heavily on his desk and nodded. "He was young, I knew he would leave me at some point. I'm getting old Philip, but to leave me like this..." Derek's voice trailed as his emotions began to surface again.

Philip moved close and pulled Derek's head to his shoulder, even as the older man fought the gentle urging. "He loved you Derek, so much...so very much."

"I kept pushing him away, after everything that happened, I pushed him away Philip. I don't know if I can live with myself."

"Of course you can, you have to. Nick would want you to." Derek lifted his head and gazed into the hazel eyes, filled with tears.

"He told me that in a dream, the night he died. He wanted me to love again, to live, but I just don't..."

"Stop it, Derek. You're alive and there is work to be done. Dr. Seed will pay for what happened to Nick, we've got to see to that, see that it doesn't happen to anyone else. If these experiments made them sick, then they have to stop."

Derek nodded and pulled Philip into a tight embrace. More of a renewing of strength than anything else. He felt Philip tense and push back some and when he met Philip's eyes, he could see the worry behind the tense, green pools. "I'll not ask it of you again Philip, you don't have to worry."

"I would willingly, you need only ask." Philip eased forward and his lips met Derek's. Tastsing the salty tears from both of them. They mixed and mingled and tongues finally met and dueled. Derek's hands grasped handfuls of hair and shirt, gripping harder until he finally pulled back, breathing hard. He rested his forehead against Philip's, waiting to see if the younger man would move away. "Derek."

"I know...I know."

"No, you don't." Philip refused to lift his eyes, to meet Derek's. His thoughts haunted him, his body burned to be loved by Derek. Longed to be the one to take away the pain of Nick's loss. Desired more than anything to replace Nick in Derek's bed. How could he utter the words?

"I do and I understand." Derek pushed him gently away and got off the desk. "But It's too soon for me to even consider, something like this."

Philip nodded and picked up his journal from the floor. "Please don' read this again, I'd prefer my thoughts private, until I'm ready to share them."

"Promise me one thing."

Philip nodded weakly. "If I can."

"You won't leave."

"For now, yes." *Ask me to stay for you Derek and I would promise the world.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night breeze blew cool and whipped at his jacket. He pulled it close to his neck, trying to keep in the warmth. It failed and he shivered. He reached out a hand and let on one of his fingers glide along the thick glass case. The moonlight glittered off the bronze urn and the water of the lake. The soft foot steps behind him, brought no response as he stared at the urn.

"It seemed fitting to place him here." The other man spoke softly as if not to disturb the living or the dead. "He loved Julia so, to be with her now...it just seemed fitting."

"I never knew of her. The last time Jonathan saw Nicholas he was bragging about joining the Seals. He kept on and on about what a honor it would be to serve his country that way."

"Yes, I know. It was a good lesson for him, made him strong." Derek saw the tear glisten and fall on the younger man's face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here for the funeral. The people I work for were quite upset that I hadn't gained the information I needed."

"I understand. But why have you come now?" Jonathan turned and faced Derek finally, the wind whipped his hair around and he shivered.

"I came to betray my maker and to tell you the truth." He grabbed his head and Derek stepped forward and steadied him. "I don't have much time."

"Come inside." Derek lead him in and gave him coffee. He could see the dark circles and loss of weight as he peeled off his jacket. "Have you been ill?"

Jonathan nodded. "There are things that I must tell you, but you're not going to believe me. I don't know where to begin."

"The start would be nice." They both jumped as Philip's voice filtered through the room. "When did he show up?"

"Be quiet, Philip. I believe this is important." Derek saw the anger behind Philip's eyes and wondered why, but he let it drop as the other man poured himself some coffee and sat down. "I'm sorry, I'm just on edge." Philip nodded.

"Derek, there is little time. I know the end will be soon."

"What's wrong with you?" He met Derek's eyes.

"There is a disease that some clones contract from the DNA splicing. Not all, but some fall victim right away. Others like me, take longer for it develop. Nick's death, leads me to believe that it wasn't him that escaped, but his clone."

"That can't be, it was Nick." Derek took Philip's hand to calm him.

"How could we ever know for sure. His body was..."

"Were you close when he came back?" Derek nodded. "Derek, it was me all along, the donor, Jonathan, is dead. I was the last clone made from his DNA. I was with Nick, but at the hospital and then here. I couldn't get close, I don't know for sure. Did you...touch him?"

Derek blushed but nodded. "We didn't make love, but, we kissed and were together."

Jonathan stood up, swayed a little, but waved off Derek's concerned hand, as he stood to help him. "Here, feel this." Jonathan pulled his hair to the side. Derek ran his fingers over the back of his neck, feeling the rough scar tissue. "Did he have that?"

"I can't be sure, I don't remember, why?"

Jonathan lifted his shirt and touched his belly button. "This isn't real, it was constructed after my body was formed. I was grown in a tank, suspeded until fully grown, then programmed with the knowledge of my donor. Jonathan knew of Nick and Seed wanted money. Money to continue his research into cloning. He wanted Nick, so he could send one of his own inside. Get to you and the money from the Luna Foundation. But there was a fatal flaw in his plan."

"What's that?" Philip said, not believing a word Jonathan said.

"I grew beyond their 'programming' and wanted more. I wanted a life and through Nick, I could have it. But the pain, it grew the further I got from my original goal. In the end, I had to do what they wanted. I took Nick there and delievered him...." He swayed and Derek caught him as he collapsed.

"Call Rachel, get her here as quick as possible." Derek hoisted Jonathan up in his arms and carried him into the living room. He settled the thin man on the couch and knelt beside him.

"I'm sorry, Derek. I tried to get here soon."

"It's all right, you're here now." Jonathan nodded and closed his eyes. "Jonathan, are you telling me that the Nick that was here, the one who died. Are you saying he was a clone?"

"It's possible. Why would they send the original back to you."

"What if it's not true. What if all that's left are the clones?" Jonathan met his eyes.

"Would it matter so much? Wouldn't you have Nick back?"

"But he could be infected with the disease, I couldn't take his dying again."

Jonathan took Derek's hand. "If the real Nick comes back, don't you still run the risk of his dying someday?"

"Yes, of course, but not that slow agonizing death that he went though. I couldn't handle that again." He thought for a bit as Jonathan lay silent. "What happened to your donor? How did he die?"

"He tried to escape."

"They killed him?"

"No, the swamps surrounding the lab are deep and dark."

"They found his body?"

"No."

"Then how could they know he was dead. How could they risk sending you back out, if they didn't know?"

Jonathan sat up. "There are things in the swamp, things that don't leave trace evidence. He was never found, because there was nothing left to find." Derek understood and images of Nick struggling through the cold and dark flooded his mind. If he was out there, Nick would find a way to survive.

"We'll get you into a room. Rachel will be on her way soon." He helped him up and lead him upstairs.

"Could I stay close to you or Nick's room. It would mean a lot to me."

"Of course." He helped Jonathan into a room close to Nick's. Once he was settled and Rachel checked him out, Derek pulled her to the side.

"Was there anything about Nick that seemed, different? Did you notice a scar on the back of his neck or anything."

"Scar? I don't know, Derek. Seems if anyone would notice that, it would have been you."

"I know, but I can't remember. We weren't intimate, save for one brief time. I didn't just go around feeling of him." Derek sighed as Rachel covered her laughter. "This isn't funny."

"I'm sorry, but Derek, even the remote possibility that Nick could be alive. Doesn't that make you want to just scream."

Derek smiled and pulled her close. "Yes, oh yes it does. But how Rachel, how could this be?"

She pulled back and met his eyes. "I checked the scar and want to do an ultrasound on his stomach. If what he says is true. Then what he's saying about Nick, could be true."

"Possibly, but what if they've already killed him?"

"Maybe some of your FBI buddies should investigate Seed. More than they were anyway."

"I don't know, seems pretty far fetched. Nick alive, months after his death. I don't know if I can accept that."

"Well, right now get some sleep. I've knocked him out, he was in a lot of pain."

Derek bid her good night and slipped into Nick's old room. He wouldn't let anyone touch it. It was just as he left it. He fingered the metals in their case for a moment and a strong flash hit him.

//Nick's face was covered in mud and something more. Was it blood? He screamed and turned toward his leg as something clamped down and pulled him under the water.////

"NO!" He felt the hand on his arm, but it took a moment to realize who it was. "Philip?"

"Ya cried out, I was going to bed."

He smiled weakly and nodded. "Just a vision. All this talk of Nick."

"Wan me to stay with you?"

Derek relaxed a little and nodded. "I'd like that, yes." Philip stepped the rest of the way in the room and closed the door. "What if all this is true, Philip? How do I tell Nick, about the other Nick?"

"I don' kno, but we'll figure it out. Come on, lie down you need to rest."

Derek stretched out on the bed and sighed. It still smelled of Nick and he brushed his head against the pillow.

Philip sat down on the bed and unlaced Derek's shoes, sliding the soft suede off and dropping it lightly to the floor. The other one followed. He got closer and unbuttoned the vest, sliding it down Derek's arms as he sat up. Then the shirt, one button then the next and his fingers found their way inside. His fingers trembled as he caressed Derek's chest. How could he think of seducing Derek in the state he was in? It all came down to opportunity and he took it. The rest of the buttons fell away and he paused briefly to meet Derek's eyes as he unbuckled his belt. He licked his lips as Derek's met his in a soft, gentle kiss.

Derek pulled back and scooted away from Philip. "I can't do this."

"Derek, Nick's gone."

"We don't know that."

Philip huffed and stood up. "Look, even if I believed in this," He waved his arms a bit. "Clonging, business. How do you know it was a clone of Nick. He responded to you and me just as Nick would. How can the clone have all that information."

"You heard what Jonathan said. They programed him. Why could they not program a new Nick and keep the real one."

Philip shook his head. "Listen to wha' you're sayin'. He was flesh and bone. It was Nick, Derek. I'm sorry he died, you kno' I loved 'em." A tear slipped from Philip's eye and worked it's way down his cheek. Derek stepped close and touched his face. "As bad I want to believe that it's possible for him to be alive. I can't." Derek pulled him close and he sobbed into the older man's shoulder. "I just can't."

*****

It was morning, or so he thought. The days and night seem to run together. His captors had little feeling for his mental health and exercise regime. He ate, but sparingly, the food was drugged. He remained awake as long as possible because, when he slept the nightmares came. Hands on his body, pulling him from the room. Needles poking, probing instruments. Bright lights and loud noises.

He steadied his mind and took a deep breath. He began his workout routine much like he always did. Tai Chi, light boxing and then jogging, but jogging in place would have to do, so he jogged. After a while his body fought for rest and he stopped. By now the guards had learned his schedule and waited until he collapsed to take him to the showers. He always showered quickly, too many eyes watching him.

One guard had taken a liking to him and would sometimes bring him food, untainted by the chemicals. He wondered if the guard knew that they watched the rooms, because he always lingered, chatting a little about his life. His lonely life. This could very well be the opportunity that Nick was seeking. Of course, as his luck would have it, the guy didn't appear for several days. He fought off the depression by thinking of home and of Derek. How stupid to run off with Jonathan.

Why hadn't Derek searched for him yet, where was his knight in shining armor. He laughed. Derek a knight, could work. He started imaging Derek in a suit of armor. Then slowly peeling back the metal and revealing the man beneath. "Oh man." Okay thinking of Derek nude was not helping him, mentally or physically. He stood up quickly and began jogging, forcing his body to relax and forget his libido. The door jerked open and he stopped. The younger guard stepped in and smiled. Nick cringed when he saw the side of his face. "What happened to you? "

The other man handed him a sandwich, wrapped in wax paper. "Nothing, here." He turned to leave as Nick took the sandwich.

"Wait, where have you been and what happened to your face?" He could tell the other man wanted to talk, he kept glancing up at the camera. Nick stepped closer and touched the large bruise that ran along his cheek. He was a little taller than Nick and about his body weight, his muscles were well defined under the tight t-shirt. "Can we go somewhere, talk?" His stance changed instantly and he leaned close to Nick's cheek.

"Tonight, after everyone leaves." He shoves Nick back some, glancing up at the camera. Nick nods and he leaves.

Hours pass and Nick finally falls asleep. He jumps when the other man touches his arm. "Come on, hurry." In the faint light Nick watches him put an extra pillow under the blankets to fool the camera. After locking the door, he takes Nick by the hand and they hurry down the hall. He produces a keycard and goes through the next set of doors easily. Two flight of stairs and they reach a level where the guy actually relaxes. "We're safe, they'll not look up here."

"Where's here?"

"The barricks." He pushes open a door and goes inside, Nick follows but watches his back. While he's occupied with what's in the hall he doesn't watch for the guy he's with. In two seconds he's flat against a mattress, the guys hands pressing him down. "Hold still a minute." Nick relaxes and the guy runs his fingers over the back of his neck. "I knew it." Nick jumped up, rubbing his neck as the guy released him.

"Knew what?"

"You're a donor."

"Not a volunteer."

The guy laughed a little. "Yeah, I know that. You're a prisoner."

"Who are you?" Nick took the hand as it's shoved in his.

"Zack Nine."

"Zack, hi. Listen, what were you doing?" Nick rubbed his neck again.

"Oh, sorry," He turned his head and lifted his hair. Nick could see the signs of scaring, like a tattoo had been removed. "It's the only way to tell."

"Tell what?"

"If you're a dupe or not."

"Oh, so you're..."

"A clone, yeah. Number nine in the series and fully functional."

Nick's eyebrows went together slightly. "What happened to the other eight?"

"Got the sickness, had to be destroyed."

"Destroyed?"

"Listen, Nick. I know things. I knew Jonathan and his dupes."

"How many were there?"

"Three all together," He counted on his fingers a little and Nick knew he could get this guy to do anything he wanted. "Yeah, number three made it out."

"Where's the donor, Jonathan?" Zack shook his head. "The real one, like me."

"Oh, he was destroyed."

Nick sat back as the flood of grief washed over him. The smiling eyes, clear and bright blue. Curly hair hanging over his face as Nick made love to him. "When?"

"Months now, that's why they allowed Three to take his place."

"When am I to be destroyed."

"I won't let them. I'll stop them. They won't hurt you." Zack was on his knees in front of Nick now and his hands slipped up Nick's thigh.

"Whoa there, we don't know each other that well."

"It's okay Nick, I've seen you. You try to hide yourself in the shower and in your room. I know you have needs." He touched Nick's crotch and Nick jumped back, but Zack held on. "I can help you, but..."

"But what? If you want to be my friend, you will help me. Help me escape before they kill me." He watched Zack's eyes, noting the confused look on his face. Then a smile crept across his handsome, but vacant head.

"If you sleep with me first. I'll get you out after that." Nick allowed Zack to touch his thigh, his mind processing the implications, of what he thought he might have to do to escape.

"What about this," He said, right as Zack's hands touched his cock. "You get me outta here and we can really have some fun and we'll be safe, no one can hurt us." Nick hoped it would be enough and ran his fingers down Zack's cheek.

"But what about this?" Zack pushed back, he had already unzipped his pants and his cock was hard and weepy.

"Oh God." Nick swallowed hard and looked away.

Zack pushed Nick flat and climbed on top of him. "Please Zack, I'm with somebody."

"Who?" Zack motioned around the room. "Who are you with, NIck?" Nick heard the sarcasim and closed his eyes. "You want out? I want you." His lips touched the soft skin of Nick's neck, forcing his head back and to the side. "You taste good." He whispered near Nick's ear, miling as a shiver ran through the captive man.

"How do I know you will release me, if I do this?"

"I promise." He licked Nick's ear. Nick's first instinct was to cut and run, but Zack held him tight. "We don't have to do everything tonight, we don't have a lot of time." Nick stiffened as one of Zack's hands tugged at his sweats.

"Not yet, wait." Nick took a deep breath as Zack sat back a little.

"We don't have anything."

"Anything, oh...you mean condoms."

"Yeah, bad things could happen."

Zack shook his head and sighed. "Don't have any, damn."

"Let me up. We'll go outside, get some." Nick looked out the small window, but saw nothing. "I don't see..." A fist landed across his cheek and he swayed.

When he awoke, he heard Zack panting. "What's going on?" He realized rather quickly that his sweats were gone and Zack was behind him, rubbing against his ass. "NO! Don't do this, we can work this out." He clenched every muscle in his body. His eyes clamped shut and he squirmed and fought to get from beneath this man. He stilled as the point of a knife pricked the skin around his Adam's apple.

"I can't wait, Nick. I have to have you back in your room soon. They'll hurt me again, if I don't."

"Please don't do this, if you care about me, don't..." Nick gasped as he felt the hard cock slide between his ass cheeks. It rested there, hot and heavy. Zack's balls touched his opening and he clenched his ass tight, trying to fight him.

"That's good Nick, I like that." It was then Nick realized that Zack wasn't going to penetrate him, or at least he hoped not. He clenched as the hard cock pumped along his ass. A few hard thrusts and he found himself getting hard.

"Oh man." Zack slipped and jabbed lower almost penetrating him. "NO!" The pain seared through him and he prayed for Derek to bust in, pull this man off and shoot him. No that's what he would do. Derek would toss him across the room and use his sword. Yeah, his knight.

"Sorry." Nick's breathing returned to normal and he allowed Zack to continue. Before long Zack leaned down and kissed his neck and cheek.

"I'm coming." Nick felt the hot streams of liquid along his back and sighed. He hoped that it would be enough to satisfy the younger man.

Zack sat back and rubbed the liquid into Nick's skin. "You're beautiful, you know that Nick. Maybe next time," He slipped a slick finger down between Nick's cheeks and poked inside the tight hole.

"No!" He squirmed but couldn't dislodge the finger. Zack used his other hand to slide under Nick's hips and stroked his cock. "Don't, Zack. Please don't." Zack pulled away and urged Nick to his back, shining the knife in his face the entire time.

"Shhhh, you'll bring everyone here. I'm not going to hurt you Nick. Let me help you."

"Look you had your fun, now get me out of here."

"Not tonight, too many people around. We'll have to wait until the weekend. Two days and only if I get this." Zack slipped his fingers down between Nick's legs again, his other hand stroking Nick's erection. As the finger sank into his ass Nick groaned despite himself. "You like that don't you Nick?"

"Don't, please. You promised to get out."

"I will, but not tonight." Zack smiled as he slipped down between Nick's legs and kissed the head of his cock. "Be nice and I won't use this." He laid the knife down near Nick's cock, the blade pointing at the elogated shaft.

This could be his opportunity, but what would he do once he was outside Zack's room. Where would he go? He was going to need this guy to help him get out. Two fingers slipped inside his ass and the mouth clamped around his cock began to suck harder. He was so close now, so close. Then Zack stopped and forced his legs up. "No, Zack, not tonight. You promised, not tonight." Zack's cock prodded his opening and he shivered. Why not give in, enjoy the feeling. He'd already let Philip do what he wanted, then Jonathan. What would one more cock matter now. Derek wouldn't forgive him anyway. Derek! Zack's hand worked his cock now, stroking him in quick even strokes as the knife glided along his inner thigh . Derek! Oh God, how could he be doing this to Derek, not again, not again. His eyes snapped open as he came. He screamed out Derek's name, begged to be forgiven.

Zack's cock breached his opening and sunk deep. He screamed again, but this time from the pain. He kicked and slammed his fists against the other man, but Zack held on. Held firm to his legs and forced them higher, bending Nick into an ackward position. He slammed inside again brutlally and Nick nearly blacked out. "NO, NO, NO!" He screamed over and over again. Finally Zack pulled out and the force of his second orgasm, splatterd Nick on the chest and face. Nick pulled away as if touched by fire and screamed again. "NO!"

Zack backed off the bed and stroked his cock. He watched Nick as he scrambled to the top of the bed and pull the thin sheet across his body. Using the material as a barrier as if it were a stone wall. The tears streaked his face as he sobbed. "I promised I'd get you out, but not until after I had that fine piece of ass. I knew you weren't cherry Nick, but you were so tight and fine."

Nick glanced up at his attacker and fought to breath through the tears. "Why?"

"Cause I like you, I like the way your body moves in the showers. The way your sweat beads and runs down your perfect chest, when you work out."

"You hurt me. You say you like me, but you hurt me."

Zack stepped close and Nick swallowed hard. His cock was still hard and he stroked it and licked his lips. "Want to taste?"

"NO!"

"Fine, I didn't mean to hurt you Nick, but you wouldn't be still." He got closer and Nick pushed his body further back up on the bed. "I know you enjoyed it and Friday night, we'll do it again."

"You said I could go."

"Yeah, I did, but only after I get what I want again." As Zack reached out to touch Nick again, Nick grabbed his arm and wrapped his own around the tight neck. He forced the blade of Zack's fallen knife hard against his attacker's throat, making the younger man flench.

"I'm going to split your damn neck open, Zack."

"So, go ahead. They'll be another me. But what about this,Derek?" Nick losened his grip, but just a little. "If you go, their won't be another Nicky. Don't want that do you? You won't get out of here alive with out me and you know it. What will Derek do then?"

Nick released him, but Zack just turned over and kissed his face, snatching the knife away. Nick wiped his cheek quickly.

"Don't be like that Nicky, you're sweet and beautiful. Too bad I can't run away with you."

"No thanks, I don't like the company."

"Really?" Zack's hand slid down under Nick and caressed his ass. "I could have sworn you were enjoying it.

"Ever hear of faking it?"

"That's funny Nick, real funny." He got up and pulled Nick to his feet. Then dressed himself quickly. "Let's get you back to your room, before anyone finds out you're missing."

"Can't I have a shower first. I feel 'dirty'." Nick said with as much hatred as he could muster.

"I guess, but make it quick."

****************************************************************

Zack didn't lie about getting him out. He fixed Nick's room again and hurried them back to his barricks. "Wait, let's get out first, then we have fun without having to worry about them."

"I thought you didn't want to have fun with me?"

"I was hurt, that's all. I'm sorry." Nick leaned up and kissed Zack on the cheek. He pushed down his emotions and forced a smile.

"But I want you, now." Zack forced his hands down the back of Nick's pants. "Don't you want me?"

Nick gasped as the fingers invaded his ass dry, but he tried to relax, allow the contact. It might be his only way to coax this man outside. "Yeah, I do. Can't you feel that?"

Zack kissed his mouth roughly and Nick allowed it, opening for him. "Yeah, I do. Man, I'm gonna fuck you raw, Nick."

Nick cringed at the thought of Zack touching him again like that, but he pushed his ass back and allowed the fingers to go deep. He surprised himself when a moan escaped his lips. "Oh yeah. Nick, you like that. You like being fucked. Yeah." Zack hips pressed against Nick, grinding their cocks together through the thin material of his pants.

He sucked Nick's neck for a bit before he pushed down Nick's pants, then his own. "Come on Nicky, I need you."

"No, Zack, not here, we can't have any fun here." Nick pushed against his chest and Zack leaned back and met his eyes. "They'll come catch us, hurt you again." Nick tried to make it good, he touched the yellow bruise on Zack's cheek and leaned in to kiss it lightly.

"Prove that you want me, Nick."

"How?"

"Suck me." Nick closed his eyes, he knew he'd vomit after this, but he slid down Zack's body and came face to face with his cock. 'I can't do it.' He thought to himself. The he closed his eyes and imagined Derek's loving face instead of this man. He opened his mouth and Zack wasted no time in forcing his cock down Nick's throat. He gagged several times before relaxing enough to let it happen. The fingers in his hair became painful and he tried to brush them away. Zack grabbed his ears and slammed as deep as he could, then back away suddenly. Nick gasped for air and was hauled to his feet. "I want you Nick, right now." Zack spun him around and pressed him against the door. He tried his damnest to get inside, but Nick fought him.

"The car Zack, the car. Let's get to the car. Man, doing in the backseat makes me so hot." He risked his sanity and pushed his ass backwards against the cock trying to invade his body. Zack stretched him painfully and tried to enter. "Come on, the car." Nick held back the scream as the now slick memeber tried for entrance again. He was only hurting himself by fighting it.

"Relax, Nick. I have to come now, it hurts. Please, please." Nick's eyes teared up and he relaxed his body, feeling the unyielding hardness force it's way inside. Zack thrashed madly behind him and Nick pushed down the emotions that ran through him. Derek, oh Derek, why didn't you save me? Zack bit his neck and screamed into his hair as he came, never stopping his pounding of Nick's ass.

Nick felt faint as the hand encircled his cock and stroked him. He did not submit, did not get hard. Did not allow this man any more pleasure than he had already obtained. Zack seemed frustrated and stopped. "What's wrong, don't you want to get off?"

"Maybe I'd like to fuck you, ever think about that?" Zack growled in his ear.

"Thought you'd never ask." Both hands rubbed Nick's crotch and he became hard. "Fuck me Nick, fuck me now." He moved back and went over to the bed, he reached the night stand and produced a tube and handed it to Nick. "Here."

Nick stepped close, his body hurt with every step. He stepped out of his pants and knelt behind Zack. "Why should I? You didn't offer me any."

"It'll be easier Nick, I've never had a cock up my ass."

"Good, then I'll be busting a cherry." Nick wondered what he had become, he considered doing it right then, taking him, his attacker, his captor, his only hope of freedom. The fog cleared and he stepped back. "Not until we get to the car."

They dressed quicky and Nick followed him to the parking lot around the back of the building. The electric fence buzzed in the distance and Nick wondered how he'd get out that. Zack had parked as far from the building as he could and climbed into the back seat. "Come on, Nick, fuck me." Nick shook his head as Zack's pants were around his ankles already.

"Damn, romance is dead." He climbed in and shut the door. The car was an older model Crysler and the backseat was huge. Nick leaned over him, the pungent manly odor made him woozy. How easy it would be to do to this man, what had been done to him. He spread Zack's ass cheeks and looked at the puckered opening. He rubbed a thumb around it and pulled it apart. Zack quivered beneath his touch and he took a deep breath. He jabbed his fingers inside and Zack cried out. Memories of Derek whimpering at his roughness filled his mind and he swallowed hard. How could he do this. He wanted to hurt this man, not make love to him. He wanted him to feel the pain and humiliation that he had felt. He pushed Zack flat and grabbed the back of his head, pulling the longish black hair until Zack moaned. The bastard like it, he liked the rough handling. His cock settled between the spread thighs and it throbbed. It wanted the revenge and release as much as he did. But how could he live with himself afterwards.

"You gonna fuck me or what?" Nick knew that nothing he could do, would stop the ache inside for what Zack had taken from him. He backed off and pulled up his sweats quickly. In the next insantance he jumped into the front seat and started the engine. Thanking every diety he had heard of that the keys dangled there. Zack sat up and pulled up his pants.

"What the fuck are you doing, asshole?""

"Getting out, like you promised." Nick felt the hands around his neck and he stomped the accelerator as hard as he could before Zack forced him back over the seat. "We'll crash...(gasp for air) let me go." Nick closed his eyes as the electric fence came within sight. "Oh shit." The car hurdled through it and alarms sounded everywhere on the compound. The car continued forward and slammed into the lake. Zack pushed Nick down and tried to climb out the window. Nick held tight and drank in a great gulp of air as the car totally submerged.

Zack clung to him and tried to hit him, but Nick wouldn't let go. Revenge was the only thing that clung to his mind. Being held captive, tortured, poked, proded and raped. His hands encircled Zack's neck and he squeezed. This most suiting end to his torture, let the man drown.The last air bubbles escaped Zack's mouth and Nick dragged him out of the car and toward the surface.

****

----nobody else here baby,
no one here to blame...
no one to point the finger...
it's just you and me and the rain.

---U2--if god would send his angels.....

The cold kept creeping, deep inside. He could feel the chill of the glass through his thick gloves. But it was only in his mind, his heart, his soul. He swiped across it quickly, sending a sheet of water sailing over the pond. The urn looked ancient this morning, encased there in a protected spot. The gray clouds hung low and dumped more and more rain on the saturated ground. He shook the dampness from his hands and took off the glove. His fingers traced the lock as he considered the possibilities. Maybe somewhere Nick was alive.

"You were gone when I woke up, are you all right?" Philip looked up at Derek's face, noting the worry lines darkening with each day. But all he could do was shake his head. "We'll figure it out, Philip. If he's alive, we'll bring him home. If he's not..." Philip met his eyes. "Then it's time we moved on." Derek's warm hand caressed his cheek and brushed away the tear. He closed his eyes as the warmth surrounded him and the embrace tightened. Moist lips slide against his own and he dared to hope, for just that moment, that Nick wasn't on Derek's mind.

"It's early, why don't you come back inside."

"Really?" He couldn't help but moan as Derek's hand slipped around his waist and pulled him close.

"Yes, really." He kissed the younger man again, but his eyes glanced over to the urn that held Nick's remains. "Let's go inside."

Derek took Philip's hand and lead him back to the kitchen. They stepped apart as Rachel came in and picked up a large cup. "You guys are out and about early. Anything I need to know about going on?"

Derek shook his head. "They're still getting their 'warrants' to check the lab. How's Jonathan?"

"He's holding his own this morning. He's still weak, but that's to be expected. I'm surprised he's doing this well, considering how fast Nick deter..." He voice stopped abruptly as she caught Derek's eye. "I'm sorry, Derek."

"It's all right." He rubbed her arms. "It's hard on all of us."

"Excuse me." Philip pushed passed them both and hurried out of the room.

"Is he okay?"

"No, I don't think he is. I'll check on him." Derek followed him inside his bedroom, just missing getting the door in the face. "Hey," Philip was on the bed, his wet coat soaking the blankets. "Take this off." He helped him out of his overcoat and shoes and pulled the blanket over him. He hung up his own wet clothes and curled up behind Philip. "We have to believe that it will be okay, that we'll get through it."

"Is that wha' you believe?"

"Yes, of course it is. Don't you?"

"No," He turned in Derek's arms and looked up at him. "I don' believe anything will ever be 'okay' again. Nick should not of died, I should not have slept with him or you and I should have never..." He pushed back and climbed off the opposite side of the bed. "I should have never left the church. It was wrong."

"You couldn't stay, feeling what you did. You know that."

"All I kno' is that I've caused nothin' but trouble and heartache, since I returned. What sort of man, does that." Derek was up and standing close now. "Who tries to seduce another man's lover? Then, if it weren't bad enough, to split you two up. He dies and I try and make you love me. How screwed up is that?" Derek tried to embrace him, but he refused, he pushed back and walked away. "I have to go, Derek."

"Where will you go? Your home is here, with us."

"No, not anymore."

"What do you want, Philip? In your heart, what is it that would make your life complete. Family, friends, lovers, what?"

"I don' kno'... all of it. Any of it. Something no' so crazy, so screwed up."

"What about this?" Derek stepped close and touched his face. "What about you and I, together?"

"You can not be serious, not with you still wondering if Nick is alive."

"You don't believe I can love you, do you?" Philip shook his head slowly. He was swept into an embrace and he surrended his mouth to Derek. The warm mouth covered his, kissing, caressing and nipping every part of his mouth. Catchy gasps of breath as the older man's hands pulled him closer, forcing their bodies together. He moaned into Derek's mouth, then out loud as lips kissed and caressed his cheek, ear, sliding down to bite his neck lightly. "We can't do this."

Derek held firm to Philip's trembling body, just held him now. Letting his own thoughts come together. What if Nick was alive, would he be allowed to love them both? A knock at the door and he stepped back, breaking the embrace. Philip turned away as Derek went to the door. "Yes?"

"There's a call for you, it's an FBI agent, they're moving in on Seed's lab today. He wanted to know if we wanted them to wait on us?"

"No, tell them to go now. We'll get there as quick as possible. If Nick's alive," He paused and turned back to see Philip watching him. "If he's alive, we need to get him out of there quickly. Make sure they allow us access to their computer files." Alex nodded and hurried away. "This could be the answers we were waiting for."

Philip wanted to be held again, just one more time before they found out Nick's fate, but it wasn't to be. Derek took off and left him standing there. He pulled himself together and grabbed his coat and Derek's. He held the damp material to his face for a bit, breathing in Derek's cologne. "I'm insane, no denying it now."

*****************************

"I understand your concerns Dr. Rayne, but you really must calm down.

I've personally been through the files and found no evidence that your colleague was ever here. Let alone subject to the experiments you're suggesting."

Philip and Alex were trying to physically restrain Derek as the Agents were leading Dr. Seed outside the lab. "We have proof that he was here, we have an individual that was at this lab and he saw him. Why won't you let me see for myself?"

The young FBI agent shook his blonde head. "This is classified material, sir. It would be my ass if anyone found out."

"It will be your head if you don' let 'em have a look." Philip released Derek's arm and he started for the man.

"Fine, fine, prove it to yourself." The man hovered over Alex's shoulder, at least until Philip pushed him aside.

"All right Alex, it's up to you." Derek rubbed her shoulder as she sat down at the console. "Find him for us."

It took less than ten minutes to find out that Nick had indeed been there. She tracked the experients to the cloning and Derek grabbed the FBI agent by the throat.

"Look with your own eyes, he was here. Now, will you let me talk to Seed?" Philip pushed his arm between Derek and the young man.

"I'll see what I can do." He straightened his tie and pushed his glasses up. "Thank you." Philip nodded back to him.

"Derek you have to calm down, this won't help." Philip held him by the arms. "Please." Derek's eyes met his and he physically relaxed. Philip released him and stepped back. The agent stepped back through the door and motioned for Philip.

"I can get him five minutes, but only if he restrains himself."

"We will."

"Only he can..."

"No, we both go, now." Philip shoved the man from the room and motioned for Derek.

A few doors down, several agents were chatting with the good doctor. When the trio entered, they all stopped. The younger agent told them that Derek had access and needed to talk to Seed. They looked at him for a long moment, then left. Derek sat down across from Seed and for moment, the silence was deafening. "You have someone here that I care a great deal about. I wish to know where he is now. Nick, Nick Boyle, 5'9', dark hair, hazel eyes, well built. A soilder in his late twenties. He came here with another young man, Jonathan Vance."

"I don't know anyone named Boyle or Vance. I'm afraid you're mistaken. Mr...."

"Rayne, Derek Rayne. From the Luna Foundation."

"Oh, yes, well your donations have been most generous."

"I've made no donations to this 'facility'."

"I believe you're mistaken. Perhaps we could chat in private." Derek looked around the room and nodded toward the agent.

"No, not alone. I saw what you could do with your bare hands. No way." The agent shook his head, over and over again.

"Maybe, we could get a cup of coffee or somethin'." Philip urged the man from the room and shut the door. "It'll be fine."

"Now, where is Nick?" Derek sat as calmly as he could. He wanted to rip the man's throat out, but he knew that wouldn't get him very far.

"If this Nick person is so important to you, then you'll pay to get him back, right?"

Derek lunged across the table and send Seed backwards in his chair. His hands clamped firmly around the man's throat and squeezed. "Where is he?" His shouts brought Philip, followed closely by the young FBI agent.

Philip pulled him back, forcing Derek to release Seed's throat. The agent was at Seed's side, lifting him from the floor. "See, I told you I shouldn't have left you alone with him, you're out of control." He was yelling at this point and Philip stepped in front of Derek, not allowing the older man to return the hateful manner or voice. The door flew open adn they all looked around.

"Sir, we've found fresh remains in the basement below us."

The trio of agents decended on Seed again and left the others free to follow the man dressed in black. Three flights down they came across the most hideous smell and Philip nearly choked. Derek took his hand and together they followed the dark hallway to where several agents came out gagging and emptying the contents of their stomachs to the stone floor. An older man came out, his white hair glistening in the light of the handlamps. "Here," He shoved a small jar into Derek's palm. "If you're going in there, you'll need this."

Derek unscrewed the lid and slipped his finger into the menthol salve and rubbed it beneath his nose. He turned to Philip, who was quietly praying and nudged his arm. "This will help with the smell." Philip took the jar and nodded. Derek stepped across the threshold and into the large room. A huge incinerator, now cooling, stood like a tomb in the cornor.

A dark headed agent approached Derek and removed the small towel from his mouth and nose. "You shouldn't be here."

"Look, Sam, I have to know if Nick is among the dead. I have to."

Derek had called his friend Samuel Meyers, a long time agent with the bureau and explained the strange factors surrounding Nick's death. Sam had agreed to help, knowing Derek well enough to know he wouldn't lie about such things. "This is going to be hell for forensics. Most of the bodies are decayed beyond recognition. Still I have no idea how many we'll find once I open that thing up. It'll take a lot of doing to find out how many died here before you gave us the nudge. We should be thanking you."

"Sam, I have to see the bodies."

"Derek, this is not a good idea." He glanced over Samuel's shoulder as someone let lose a curse word. Agent Meyers turned to see a limb fall from one of the corpses, just as the agent was lifting it into a body bag. "This is really not a good idea." He urged Derek back into the hall where Philip still stood, his hands clasped together. "Why don't you go get a hotel room and give me a call later."

"No."

"Derek, if anything shows up, I'll call you, okay."

Derek had started to protest when Philip gripped his arm. "Please Derek, take me out of here." He turned to see the ex-priest had turned quite pale. "I don't want to be here."

"You go, get a hotel room. Tell Alex what's going on."

"No, I'll no' leave you here alone."

Derek nodded and looked back and forth between the two men. "As soon as you know anything, call me or Alex." Sam shook his hand and nodded.

"The moment I know anything."

Meyers watched for a few moments as Derek and Philip made their way down the hallway. He sighed. He had known Derek long enough to understand why he wanted to find Nick. The young man must have been very special and very lucky to have known Derek, that way. He sighed and pushed down the memories of the past. Answers were what his friend needed now, not melancholy memories of a forgotten lover.

*********************

Several hours later Philip had convinced Derek to stop pacing a path, in the carpet of their hotel room. It was nearly nine p.m. and they had heard nothing from the FBI. A knock at the door and Derek jumped up and jerked the door open. He stepped back and sighed.

"I'm calling him." Philip handed him the phone and shut the door behind Alex.

"Man, if we don't hear something soon, Derek's going to lose it."

"I kno'. What's in the bags?"

"Dinner."

"You read my mind." Alex and Philip spread the meal out on the table, unwrapping and letting the flavors mix and mingle in the air. Philip jumped as Derek slammed the phone down. "Nothin'"

Derek shook his head and headed for the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower, if anything..."

"Yes, I'm come get you." Derek forced a smile at him and Alex and gathered his small suitcase, before heading into the bathroom.

"I think he should take some time off after this."

"The stress alone is enough to give him a heartattack. I just hope he survives it. I know people die of broken hearts, but this waiting, not knowing. It eats at ya, from the inside."

Alex handed him a beer and he raised an eyebrow. "Thought it might take the edge off."

Philip's mind flew back, months before. Nick's soft smile as he handed him another beer before they made love. Same words. A knot developed in his stomach and crept up his throat. The bottle fell from his hands and bounced on the carpet. "Oh God." He hurried away from the table and climbed on the bed.

"Philip?" Alex followed and wiped the hair from his eyes. "What's wrong?"

What could he say, Alex had no idea about him and Nick. She didn't know how much he had loved him. The tears feel hotly on his face and he shook his head. "I just need to be alone."

She stood up and went to the bathroom door. She knocked softly and Derek jerked open the door. She turned her head the second she realized that Derek was nude and dripping wet. He gasped and covered his body quickly. "Something's happened with Philip, he's crying."

"No news?"

"Derek, I know you loved Nick. I loved him too, but maybe your other friends need to be comforted as well. Philip is hurting too, talk to him please."

She took off without waiting to hear Derek's reply. Derek wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out into the cool of the bedrooms.

Philip was still curled into a fetal postion on the bed, crying.

"I know this has been hard on you, Philip and I wish I could take away your pain. But I can't deal with my own, so I won't pretend to know how to help you."

Philip turned over and looked up into Derek's face. "I don't know either." Derek curled up behind him and he accepted the warmth and closeness. He fell asleep listening to Derek's heartbeat, smelling the fragrance of his shampoo and feeling the hardness against his back. They had spent several nights together like this, cuddling, comforting and relying on each other. But they hadn't made love since that first time. A time when Nick was still alive and well. Derek still loved Nick, probably always would and he just couldn't give himself to Philip. And in that irony Philip wanted him even more.

*********************

Derek's cell phone rang and he untangled himself from Philip and answered it. "Hello, yes. What is it Alex? Yes, come over." Derek clicked the phone off and turned back to Philip. "Alex has some news, she's coming over with it."

"Why didn't the FBI call you."

"I don't know, I'll get dressed."

Philip wiped his face and got up. He fingered the cold food on the table for a moment. Then he picked up the beer that had fallen, opened it and drank it down. It was bitter and warm and burned his throat and stomach, but he didn't care. He finished it off before the knock came at the door. Derek was there pulling the door open. Alex stepped inside, dressed in her pj's and robe. Sam followed her, still dressed in his suit and smelling of death. Philip turned away and covered his mouth and nose.

"Sorry for the smell, but I wanted to come over as soon as I knew something."

"What is it?" Derek asked, shutting the door behind them.

"Sit down Derek." At those words Philip's heart skipped a beat. If this man was asking Derek to sit down, it couldn't be good news.

Derek sat down on the couch, Philip and Alex at his sides. Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bag. Something flashed for a moment as he handed the evidence bag to Derek.

Derek stared through the clear plastic and began to tremble. "It's Nick's SEAL ring. Oh God."

Philip's arm came around him and held him tight. "Where did ya find it?"

Sam looked at Derek, but spoke to Philip. "One of the bodies in the pile."

"I have to see him, I have to know."

"Derek, no. This is all I can do. The body..." He swallowed hard. "The body was very badly decayed. He's been dead for some time."

Derek began gasping for air as the tears racked his body. Philip waved them all outside and held Derek tight.

Alex stepped outside in the hallway, her own grief present in her eyes. "I'm truly sorry. I wish things were different."

"We all do Agent Meyes, but I'm sure Derek would want me to thank you for your help. The truth is horrible, but the not knowing..." She sniffed hard and wiped her face. "That was harder. Thank you." She extended her hand and Meyers shook it gently.

"Tell Derek, if there's anything I can do to help with the arrangements, just let me know."

"We'll fly him home. If you'll just have the body waiting for us tomorrow. I'd appreciate it."

"Of course. Will Derek be all right?"

"I don't know, I don't know if any of us will be. But if anyone can comfort him, Philip can."

"Are they close?"

"Yes, Philip's spirituality will help him through it and Derek will allow Philip to comfort him. It's too bad he left the priesthood, he could have the done services." Alex forced a smile and nodded a goodnight to the Agent and went inside her own room.

Derek's sobs didn't lessen and Philip held tighter, trying to force the pain from the man. It was over now. Nick was gone and Derek would have to get on with his life. But how could he, how could any of them.

The nightmare was over, or was it just beginning. Living with it was hard enough, but living past it was harder. Philip took the bag from Derek's clenched fist and laid it on the table. Derek started to protest but Philip pulled him up and toward the bed. "It's two in the morning, you need rest. We have to take Nick home tomorrow."

Derek nodded and pulled him close. "Thank you for being here, Philip. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Philip nodded into Derek's shoulder. In his heart he knew where Derek would be. He'd be with Nick, happy and content. Not mourning him for a second time. So many mistakes, so many errors in judgement, so many nights of forbidden thoughts. His path was certain now. Make Derek happy again. Nothing else mattered.

A great gush of water rushed at the shore and something broke the surface. The last bit of daylight reflected off the muddy water and traced the outline of the disturbance.

Nick heaved his body from the water and collapsed a few feet from the shore. There was a weight around his ankle and he struggled a minute to remove it. He glanced down and saw a face, smeared with mud, the heavy wet hair hung across it's features and for a moment, Nick thought he recognized it. Fear gripped him and he forced his legs up. Low limbs and branches swiped at his face and head as he pushed his way through the thick underbrush. In a clearing before him, a small shack stood, in stark contrast to it's surroundings. White paint and wide windows and a ceiling fan on the porch. It would normally have been a very inviting picture. He hid behind a thick bush and watched for signs of life. The night grew darker and the woods around him came alive with the sounds of animals. Crickets, frogs, and owls filled the silence with their own unique blend of music. Nick shivered as the cold set in and again pictures of the man on the shore, filtered through his mind. He shook off the chill and the grogginess that fogged his mind and focused his attention on the shack. Warmth, shelter and just maybe something to eat. No phone lines, no car visible. He crept up to the corner of the house and peeked inside the window. No lights, no sounds, no life. The front door was too visible, too many steps, no escapes should somone persue him.The back door held promise. He made his way around the rose bushes, thick with thorns and to the back door. It would be simple really. No glass blocked his hand as he slipped it inside and unlocked the door. Seemed a little stupid to lock a door with no glass, but the thought left quite quickly. The smell of bread filled his nostrils, but he resisted rushing forward. The occupants of the house may not be so happy to have an uninvited guest raid their icebox. His eyes adjusted to the darker interior and he made a quick sweep of the premises. No signs of life, matter of fact, no signs that anyone had been there in quite a long time. But what about the smell of food. Was it in his mind? How long had he been in the water?

He couldn't stay long, they would find him. Surly they'd come looking for him. He entertained the fear for a few moments and huddled in the corner, where he could watch the windows and doors. After a while, when no one burst through to hurt him, he relaxed. He climbed on the tattered mattress and curled into a ball. His sleep was disturbed with dreams of home of Seed's lab and of Zack. But Derek's smiling face made him feel warm and loved and he let his mind rest.

*********

He rolled over and moaned. His body was sore and it hurt to even breath. But he was warm, snuggled beneath a soft blanket. Blanket? Where did that come from. A noise came from the corner and he jerked awake. Shielding his eyes from the morning sun, he peeked from beneath the blanket. A man, his size, but slighter in build stood near him. The whiteness of his hair made him look almost angelic and when he moved toward Nick, he found himself helpless, he couldn't move. The blueness of his eyes, the pale skin, the sharpness of his features. His lips moved, making the tuft of hair under his bottom lip dance. Nick wasn't sure he had heard anything and as the long fingers reached out and brushed the hair from his eyes, he was sure he was dead. The angel had come to carry him away. How strange that in death his body should hurt so bad.

"Who are you?"

"You may call me, William."

"Am I dead?"

"Not exactly. You're breathing aren't you?"

Nick took a deep breath and nodded. "Where am I?"

"Don't you remember?"

"No. It's blurry." He put his head in his hands and tried to make it clear. "I remember the river and running. I had to keep running, they were going to catch me."

"Who?"

Nick thought for a while, tried to pull the images up, but it was no use. "I don't know." He pulled the blanket back and tried to get up. The room spun and he fell back quickly.

"You're hurt." He helped Nick sit up and propped several pillows behind him. When did the pillows get there? Nick started to ask, but the man was gone in the next instance.

"Here, I'm made you some soup. You looked like you could use it." Nick attempted to take the bowl, but he realized that his hands were covered with streaks of blood. He just stared for a long moment. "This will keep. Come on." He allowed the man's help and limped into the small bathroom. A tub of steaming water stood waiting. "I've drawn you a bath, it'll take some of the soreness out."

"Will you excuse me?"

"Yes, of course. If you need anything, just give a shout."

As Nick peeled off the tattered t-shirt, his dog tags bounced against his chest. He grabbed them and held them between his fingers for a moment. He leaned down and slid the dirty, green colored pants from his hips. He'd lost weight , he could feel it in his own movements. Once the grime encrusted clothes were on the floor, he slipped one leg into the tub, disturbed by the pain where it shouldn't be. He sat carefully and his body tingled. The water was almost too hot, but soothing and he adjusted quickly. He scooted his body lower and wondered why his ass hurt so much. A quick investigation brought back dried blood on his fingertips. He swallowed and tried not to wrench his guts. He sank lower and submerged his head for a moment, but the bright flashes behind his eyes, faces of people, needles, straps and pain made him jump up and look around. He was safe, alone and couldn't quite remember why he was afraid. He took a deep breath and relaxed. A soft knock and the door pushed open.

"Everything all right?" Nick nodded and attempted to cover his groin area from view. "I've seen it you know. I have one me self." Nick stiffled a chuckle and relaxed again. "I've put the soup back on the stove and made a nice pot of tea. Would you like me to scrub your back?"

The saturated sponge touched his back and he allowed the contact for a long moment, before pulling away. "Thanks, I'll be out in a bit." Nick took a deep breath as the man left. Why did he trust him, what was it about him that forced it. He shook his head and grabbed the bar of soap. It smelt of gardenias and lilacs. Great, a Navy Seal that smelled like a field of wild flowers. Derek would...He caught himself. Derek. Where was Derek? Why wasn't he here?

Working his way down to his foot he noted the reason for his discomfort when walking. Somehow he'd wretched or sprain his ankle. He rubbed the purple flesh, just to make sure there were no broken bones and nodded to himself. Just a sprain. He found the shampoo and washed his hair several times before finally climbing from the bathtub. A huge towel was waiting on a nearby stool. As were a comb, toothbrush, and deodorant. The man had thought of everything. Everything that was, except clothes. Nick wrapped the towel around his waist and limped into the other room. The smell of warm tomatoes filled his nose.

"Excuse me, William, right?" A nod. "I don't want to be a bother, but I need something to wear."

"Right. This way." Nick cautiously followed William into another room. A plush four poster bed stood in the center of the room. William pulled open a large closet door and waved his hand. "What would you like?"

"Anything's fine. Sweats?"

"Hmmm." William dug through a drawer in a nearby dresser and pulled out a pair of gray jogging pants and a t-shirt. He handed them to Nick, then tossed him a pair of boxers and a sweatshirt. "Socks." Nick caught them, but pivoted wrong on his ankle and winced. "First things first." He took Nick's hand and lead him to the bed. Nick resisted for a moment, then sat down. "Don't move."

William returned with a cloth full of stuff. He dotted iodine on the cuts above Nick's eye and bagan working on his back and chest. His hands were next and received the same careful attention. Once finished there he pushed off the bed and began investigating Nick's ankle. He rubbed in something smelly then wrapped it tightly in a bandage. He took the socks from Nick and slipped one over his other foot. Then the underware, Nick tensed up, but as William's hands glided the material over his skin, he relaxed and lifted his hips. The towel fell away, reveling his entire body to this stranger and he turned his head in embarrassment. William seemed not to notice and slipped his underware to his hips. Then Nick allowed him to pull the sweats over the enlarged ankle. Once they were on, he slipped Nick's t- shirt on and stood up.

"There, warm and dry."

"Thank you." Nick couldn't help but blush.

"Hungry?"

"Starved."

A simple meal of tomato soup, bits of sharp cheese and warm tea were on the menu. Once he was full, Nick was sleepy again. William lead him to his own room and laid him on the bed. "Sleep now. It will help your mind heal."

"Where will you sleep?"

"If I grow tired, here." William patted the bed and saw Nick tremble. "I won't, if you're not comfortable with it."

"Thank you."

"Sleep."

********************************************

///The churning black water flowed over his head and he couldn't break the grip on his neck. He choked and sputtered, spending the last of his oxygen in a useless attempt to get free. He was drowning...///

Nick jumped up, breathing hard and William was at his side instantly. "It's all right, just the memories trying to resurface."

"I was underwater." He stampered helplessly and grabbed the black vest and stared into the blue eyes. " I drowned."

"No, but nearly. You're alive."

"How can I be sure?" William grabbed his arm and pinched him hard on the wrist. "OUCH!"

"See, if you were dead, I don't think you'd feel that."

"True." He rubbed the offended flesh until it stopped stinging. "Where are we?"

"Near the river."

"I have to get home."

"Of course you do, but it's a long journey."

"Where do we begin?"

"Right here, right now. The first steps must be yours."

--What is it in me that refueses to believe,
this isn't easier than the real thing.

My love, you know that you're my best friend, you know I'd do anything for you.

My love, let nothing come between us, my love for you is strong and true.

Am I in heaven here or am I at the crossroads, I am standing.

Now you're sleeping peaceful, I'll lie awake and pray, that you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll see another day and we will praise it.

---Sarah McLauchlan, Hold On

Philip slipped from the bed, careful not to wake Derek. The low light and his exhaustion made him trip and he found himself lying flat on his stomach. He raised his head and bumped it lightly on the end of the coffee table. He rubbed the offended flesh and pushed himself from the floor. His hands skimmed the surface, pinching the plastic between his fingers, he picked up the bag that contained Nick's ring.

The tears fell hot on his hands as he took the ring from it's container and held it between his fingers. It was all too real now, Nick was gone and he couldn't bring him back. His eyes dipped and his body ached. He needed to sleep, but didn't want to, he gave in and laid back on the couch. His eyes grew heavy and sleep took him.

//The water closed over his head and he fought the burning pain in his lungs. He surged up toward the surface and sucked in great gulps of air. He was alive, but his body ached. The shore was close and he drifted for it. Mud clung to his face, clogged his nostrils and hung like an iron weight to his body, but he fought it and fell face down on the grassy bank. ///

“NICK!!”

Derek heard the scream and hurried into the other room. He flicked on the light and knelt beside Philip. “It’s okay,” Derek pulled him close. “I’m here.”

Philip pushed back against his chest. “No, Nick’s not dead, I saw him.”

“Philip,” Derek took the bag from his clutched fist. “He’s gone, this confirms it.”

“Here,” Philip ripped open the bag and pressed the ring into Derek’s palm. He watched as the older man’s eyes slid closed and his body stiffened. The sure sign that he was seeing with is mind’s eye. “What do you see?”

Derek opened his eyes and smiled at Philip, leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth. “You’re right, the one who had this ring was not the ‘real’ Nick. I’ll call Sam, you get Alex.”

An hour later they were at the morgue where 'Nick’s' body was being kept. Agent Meyers yawned and covered his gaping mouth. “Derek, what’s this about it’s four in the morning.”

“This is not Nick, do the tests, it’s not him. Do the blood tests.” Philip had one of Derek’s hands tightly clenched in his, trying to hold the exuberant man back. “Go on, do the tests, the one for the blood disorder, I bet you anything, he has it and that’s what killed him.”

“Then how did he get Nick’s ring?” Sam was writing in his pad and didn’t look up at Derek.

“Isn’t it obvious, he knew Nick, maybe he was one of the guards or something. I don’t know, but that’s not Nick.”

Derek stepped up to the table and snapped on a rubber glove. He grabbed the wrist of the corpse and his body went stiff. He released it and shook himself. “He died alone, under other bodies, but it was not Nick. None of Nick’s memories, feelings, nothing.”

“Then that means, Nick is still alive, somewhere.” Philip said.

“A good a guess as any.” Sam stared at Derek for a moment. He knew the signs, Derek truly believe what he was saying. He had to follow up the investigation. “You know, I remember the day we started the investigation, a fence around the back was down, like someone went through it or something. It was near the river.”

“If he found a way out, he’d head for cover. He was a SEAL, he could last in the river and elude his persuers.”

“I’m on it.” Sam left the room, clicking his cell phone open.

“What do we do?” Philip asked, releasing Derek’s hand at last.

“We search ourselves.”

“Derek, it’s not even light yet.” Alex pulled her coat closed around her as the rush of cool air assaulted her thin blouse. “And it’s cold.”

“Yes and if Nick is out here, we have to find him.”

“I’ll get the truck.” Derek put his arm around Alex and rubbed her arms. They both waited for Philip to return.

********************

Agent Meyers clicked his phone shut and sighed. The bloodhouds would be there in an hour, just in time for first light. He hopped out of his car and headed for the green Jeep that Derek and Philip had rented. “Derek, let’s drive to the site together.”

“No time. I have to get there first. See what I can find.”

“It’s a crime scene now, Derek. I can’t just let you go trampsing around there...”

The Jeep sped away, leaving hm to shake his head. Derek would do things his own way, no stopping him.

************************

“Derek, look.” Philip was kneeling by the shore. “Looks like a car went through here and into the river. Could be how he escaped.”

“Yes, you’re right. Alex you stay here, tell Meyers what we’ve found.”

“Where are you going?”

Derek straightened and looked down river in the pre-dawn light. “Down river, everything would have been washed that way. Tell him to start the dive here, just in case he didn’t make it out.”

“Be careful, snakes and stuff.” She shivered at the thought, more than the cold air.

Philip and Derek worked their way through the thick underbrush, slipping every once in a while into the cold water. “Derek, we should wait on Meyers, he would be better equipped to do this...ouch.”

Derek reached back and grabbed Philip’s hand, pulling him forward. “I can’t wait, Philip, I have to find him, he’s alive, I know he is.”

Philip trudged on, his legs sinking deep into the mud. His body exhausted from the sorrow and lack of sleep, he tried to keep up with Derek, but finally he just sat down. He was cold, wet and covered in a layer of thick mud. His legs weighed tons and as he sat down, he could feel the cold morning air cut into his skin.

Derek hadn’t noticed that Philip had stopped, hadn’t noticed the way was easier or the light was brighter. He just pressed on, watching for signs that something had come on shore. Watched for signs of anything moving in the water. His cell phone rang and he finally stopped and reached inside his pocket. “Hello.”

“Derek where the hell are you, get your ass back here and let us do the search properly. I’ve got dogs headed downriver now and Philip already gave up and is here with me.”

Derek jerked around, looking for Philip. Nothing but lapping water and tree line greeted him. He had made it a couple miles downriver, but there were still no signs of Nick.

*****

Philip shivered, but the blanket that snaked around his shoulders took off the chill. He pulled the ends over his chest and glanced up at the warm brown eyes of the kind stranger. “Thanks.” His teeth chattered so he just nodded and looked back down until a cup of coffee was placed between his fingers.

“Father Callahan, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but we met several years ago in Ireland. I was doing a photo shoot for Time and you helped me get to the heart of the story there.”

Philip sipped the coffee and allowed the other man to wipe the mud from his cheek. “It’s Philip.”

“What?”

“Just Philip, I’m not a priest...(chatter) any more.”

This brought a smile to the stranger’s face, one that Philip did not miss. “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess, should I be?”

Philip’s body warmed suddenly and he straightened a little. The blanket feel away and was retrieved by the stranger. “Don’t be, it was my choice. But your name eludes me.”

“Oh, sorry.” His large hand seized one of Philip’s and shook it. “Vince, Vince Campbell.”

Philip smiled, he remembered the tall, strong, slightly crazy man from a few years back. “I remember you now. Seems like you wanted to get the real picture, not just what the government released. Your pictures were good.”

“Wow, thanks, coming from someone like you, that means a lot.” Vince actually blushed a little.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, I do a lot of freelance work and this lab has been doing some intresting stuff. Thought I’d pop up here and see what the dish was. Didn’t know all this excitement was going on.” He studied Philip for a long moment. “What’s the Legacy doing here?”

Philip’s whole body stiffened and his eyes grew wide. “Who?”

“Come on Father, I’m not stupid, my old man use to be a member, before he died.”

“Who was your father?”

“Before your time, but his name was Vince Campbell Sr."

“Philip, are you feeling better?” Alex stepped up and looked him over. She nodded to the stranger, then her eyes got wide. “You’re Vince Campbell’s son, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Vince.”

“That’s right, Jr.” The larger man blushed and shook his head.

“Please, don’t call me that, I hate that.”

“Do you know him, Alex?”

“Sure his father use to work with Derek,years ago.” She was talking to Philip, but staring at Vince. “You’re a photo journalist, right?”

“When I can make money at it. Right now I’m between jobs, but heard of some strange goings on and headed down here.”

He glanced at Philip and then at Alex. “I had no idea that Father Callaghan had returned.”

“I’m not a priest anymore.” With that Philip stood up and tossed the blanket aside. “Where’s Derek?”

Both Vince and Alex looked at each other than at Philip. “He’s still a ways down river, Meyers couldn’t convince him to come back.”

“No sign of Nick?”

“Not yet.”

“I’m going to the hotel, change. I’ll be back.”

Alex nudged Vince. “Want me to take you?”

Philip stopped and turned back to Vince. “Sure, why not. I don’t think the rental company would apprecite me covering the seats with red clay mud.”

Vince held the door to his Range Rover open and Philip carefully sat down on the newspapers he spread out. Vince closed the door and winked at Alex.

*****************

Derek heard the dogs appraoching and stopped. He sank down into the mud and took a deep breath. This was useless. Meyers grabbed his shoulder and pulled him further up on the shoreline. A patch had opened now and the bank was a little grassy.

“Derek you’re gonna make things worse.”

“I know Sam, but I have to find him.”

By then they were surrounded by other agents, dogs and local police, combing the shoreline.

“Let’s get your back to the trucks, get your cleaned up.” Sam saw the terror in Derek’s face. “We’ll find him Derek, I promise you that.”

*******************************

Philip pushed the door open and tossed the keys on the table. “I’m headin’ for the shower, make yourself at home.”

“Want something to eat? I could call room service.”

“Doesn’t matter, we should get back to the site as soon as possible. I want to be there for Derek, if....when we find Nick.”

“You two close?”

“Nick or Derek.”

“Derek?” Vince slumped down into the couch and popped a lifesavers into his mouth.

“Yes, we’re close, I guess.”

“I kind of got that impression. He plays dad to a lot of people, doesn’t he?”

“It’s not like that, but yeah, he tends to try and protect us, when he can.”

“What’s it like then?”

Philip thought about just saying it, just saying he was in love with Derek, but his decency took over and he slammed the lid of his suitcase. “I’m takin’ a shower.”

“Fine, I’ll be here.”

********

Derek allowed Sam to drag him back to the truck. He got the same treatment as Philip and drank his coffee in great gulps. Alex held the blanket around him. “Where’s Philip?”

“He went back to the hotel, he needed a shower. He’s coming straight back.”

Derek heard the commotion on the shore before everyone else. The car was towed up out of the water. They all hurried to see if anyone was inside, luckily the car was empty. The chopper flew over and Meyer’s walkie-talkie started squawking. He grabbed Derek’s shoulder and pulled him back from the car. “They’ve got something a few miles up on the other side, looks like two bodies, the chopper saW it on it’s last pass. We should head down there, by boat.”

“Let’s go.”

Philip arrived just in time to see Derek and Meyers get into the boat and push off. “What’s up?”

“They found something.”

Philip pulled her close and the tears began. “It’ll be okay, Alex, have faith.”

Vince clapped Philip on the shoulder, squeezing it slightly. “Fill me in.”

“Our friend Nick has been missing for some time, it’s a long story. We think he was here at the lab, but escaped somehow.”

“Man, I hear they were doing some weird shit, sorry Father, stuff here.”

Philip almost laughed at Vince’s apology, but a quick smile was all he was allowed. Their eyes met breiefly and Vince blushed. “You keep forgetting.’

“I know, sorry.”

Alex looked at Philip and sighed. “I don’t know how much more Derek can take. We have to know this time, for certain.”

“I hope we do.”

“You guys can fill me in later, coffee?”

They both nodded and watched Derek's boat take off down the river, hoping that this time, the torment would come to an end.

***

Nick sat there staring at this wonderous stranger. "Look, I'm not in the mood for riddles. I need to get home."

The blonde threw his hands up and walked around the small bedroom. "It's not up to me, it's up to you. You have to want it."

"Want it?"

"Yes, to go home." He stopped by the bed and let his finger touch Nick's cheek lightly. "Do you?"

"Of course I do."

"Why?"

"Because it's my home, I have friends, family. It's home." Nick was about at the boiling point at this time and pushed his body from the bed. His ankle hurt but he forced his body to move and was through the door quickly. He jerked open the front door and a powerful spray of rain swept him backwards. "What is this shit, every time I go to a door, it's pouring down the rain."

The voice was in his ear. "It's the turbulance inside you that creates it. Only you can stop it."

"Are you looney toons or what?" He tried to push the man away, but it didn't work.

"Look at it Nick. The pain, torture, loneliness, the horror that you feel inside." Nick's heart was pounding and the storm surged stronger. "Tell me, Nick. Will everyone at home be happy that you've returned?"

"What are you talking about?"

"There is a fear," William's finger twisted into Nick's back. "Deep inside you that makes you doubt your happy homecoming." The pressure against his spine was so great that Nick was whimpering. "Tell me the truth, Nick."

"YES!" The tears rolled down his cheeks. "I doubt it, okay." The release was so intense that the lack of pain was almost pure pleasure and Nick moaned. "Oh, God." He fell to his knees and cried into his hands.

"What did you do, Nick? Tell me." William sat on the floor beside him, Indian style. "Tell me your fears, Nick, your sins."

"Why?"

"Because, it is the only way." Nick pressed his body flat against the floor, the cool wood chilling his chest.

"I made love to someone other than my lover."

"You had an affair?"

"No, not exactly. He knew where I was, he encouraged it."

"A mutual mistake." Nick met his dark eyes.

"Yes, mutual."

William held up two marbles the color of amber and placed one in each of the two circles on the floor. "What else?"

"I would hurt him when we made love and I didn't care."

"Oh, that's not good." Another marble was tossed into one of the circles.

"Go on, what makes you unworthy of Derek's love."

"How did you know his name?"

"From you."

"He pushed me away after that."

"How far?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did he boot you out of the house or move out himself?"

"No, he just asked me to sleep in my own room again."

"That's not so far. How did you react?"

Nick pushed himself from the floor. "Look I don't see where any of this is helping me."

"Look outside." Nick hobbled to the door and pulled aside the curtain. The storm was dying down. "See this is helping. Now, tell me what makes you the most angry."

Nick limped back and sat down. "The fact that he didn't save me, I guess."

"Save you? Save you from what?"

"From the lab, from Zack, from the torure, the pain." Nick was screaming now. "What do you want from me?" The thunder clapped over his head and he ducked, tucking his head down between his arms.

William went to him and held him, waited until the sobs had lessened. "Perhaps you're not ready today."

"Not ready for what?"

"To return to Derek." Nick's eyes met his, wet and red.

"But I am. I want to go home to him, you don't know how much I love him. I need him so much."

"Yes, I do. I can see it in your eyes when you speak his name." He lifted Nick from the floor and supported his sore ankle. "Come rest a bit, then we'll talk some more."

Nick slept and dreamed of Derek, Philip and Jonathan. When he awoke his head was pounding and the pain in his ankle was worse. "William!" The blonde man was there in a second and held him down. "What's wrong with me?"

"You don't belong here, Nick. You have to go back."

"How, just show me how."

"I can't, I can offer support. You have to do it on your own."

"I slept with Philip, yes. I slept with Jonathan, yes. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Whatever you need to tell me Nick. Whatever's heavy on your mind."

Nick held on frantically as the pain wracked through his body. Why wasn't Derek there, why didn't Derek save him. "Why wasn't he here, damn it. Why didn't he save me from Zack?" Nick went limp and laid down on the bed, he curled into a ball and pushed away Williams comforting hands. "He raped me, why wasn't Derek there?"

"You have to let go of that anger. Derek would have been there if he had known."

"What do you mean? I'm not home, I'm missing for weeks, months and he doesn't even come looking for me."

"He's looking for you now." Nick looked up and watched William pull back the curtain and look out. "You should go to him soon."

Nick joined him and saw Derek in a boat with a dark haired man. "Derek!" He tore open the window and screamed again and again, but the wind and rain surged and pounded against his body. It was no use, Derek could not hear him through the storm. "I have to go out there."

"Of course, but not until the storm," He placed his hand against Nick's chest and caressed his breast. "inside you, calms."

"Are you saying that because I'm angry at him, he can't hear me."

'Not exactly, but it has something to do with it." William walked to a mirror and nodded for Nick. "Look inside yourself Nick, the darkness is taking over. Until you can control it, forgive those who've hurt you. You can't go on and this," Both his arms circled Nick's chest and embraced his body. "Will die."

The mirror contorted and the surface shimmered. His face grew distorted, craggy and ugly. Images of Philip's face and body, Jonathan and Zack danced on the surface and dove into his mirror image. He screamed as the darkness gripped him.

"You must release the hate, pain, fear and the guilt. Love must win, Nick." Nick heard Derek calling to him and he looked out the window again. Derek was approaching something on the shore. The pained look on his face bore his belief. The tears on his face made Nick realize what he was seeing.

"Derek!!" Nick fought the grip of the darkness and William's hands. "I have to go to him. I know what he's thinking, he's in pain William, let me go."

"Tell me, Nick."

Nick stopped struggling. "Okay. I was wrong to sleep with Philip, but it's over and I need to go on. Jonathan was a friend and Derek and I weren't together. Zack raped me." This brought a lump to his throat. "But Derek will help me get through that pain. He loves me. I hurt him and I'm sorry for it and it'll never happen again. I love him."

William stepped back, his entire body glimmered and turned white. "Yes, you do love him, only him. Go to Nick and never stray again." His auora was white with a gold fringe and he disappeared in a blink of an eyes.

Nick felt the calm run through him and he fell to the floor.

*********************************

Derek was the first out of the boat and he rushed to the bodies, lying on the shore. He felt for a pulse first, before moving Nick. It was faint, but it was there. Next he caressed the back of his neck, finding only smooth skin. 'It's him," He drew in short shaky breaths. "It's really Nick." He held the unconscious form close to his body and sobbed.

Nick's eyes fluttered open, his face was pressed against smooth skin that smelled of Halsten and leather. He heard the thick accent and smiled. Derek had found him. "Derek."

"Are you all right?" Derek had pulled him back far enough to look into his eyes.

"My ankle is killing me, but other than that I'm great now." He lifted his hand and pulled Derek's face down and kissed him hard on the lips.

Derek was aware of the eyes around him, but didn't care, he lifted the other man into his arms and kissed him passionately. He released him only when he needed to breath.

"Ahhh, Derek. We should get him to a hospital, clean him up."

"Yes, of course." Derek stood up and reached for Nick. Once he was on his feet, Derek's arms were around his waist immediately, holding him close. The nightmare was over, he was heading home.

Nick stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder into the woods. A blonde figure stood on the porch of a broken down shack and waved a final farewell. 'It's up to you now, Nicholas.' He heard it in his head and waved with his free hand.

"What are you doing?" He met Derek's worried eyes.

"Going home." He pressed hard against the lips that met his, knowing how lucky he was to have Derek find him.

Continued in: In the Arms of Friends, coming soon!

comments to reets@united.net

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page