Get your own Free Home Page
by Marcaich-Shine (Email Marcaich@aol.com)
*STANDARD DISCLAIMER* No, they don't belong to me, they are the property of MGM/Showtime/Trilogy (and a partridge in a pear tree) I don't make any money off of this story (Or anything for that matter.....) so please don't sue (I have NOTHING you want..unless you'd like an 18 yr old horse who bucks for sport?) *WARNING* story contains M/M relationships and sex (somewhere) so if your offended..... why are you reading this? If my bizzarity hasn't gotten to you yet (This is what I get for writing at 2:00 a.m....) read on!!!
*Journal Entry of Philip Callaghan
It has been several days since my rescue from Hitchcock's clutches. I can still feel his hands on me, smell his scent, I remember the terror of his actions. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and yet I'm sent home by the hospital. I wonder if Derek forced them to let me go?
Home. Such a funny word. Implies hope, comfort, friends..... and dare I say , family. I feel like I have none of those. I go over and over it in my dreams/nightmares. I know there was nothing I could have done to prevent what happened, but that's not what I'm frightened of. It's his last words to me .
"I'll come back for you..."
That mere thought sends chills down my spine. He's going to be out there, waiting, watching me. Someday the guard will be let down and *poof* he'll have me again. And this time I won't be so lucky. But Nick was there. Nick....
I thought he was dead. I had my doubts, but I thought Hitchcock was capable of that and feared he had hurt him badly if he hadn't killed him. Was he still lying in the park, bleeding to death. Alone..... As I was alone in that cell.
But he's not, he's alive. And for the first time in forever, speaking to me. He sat by my bedside that first night, Derek told me so. Does that mean I'm forgiven? Could he ever do that? I hope so.
But the nightmares still happen for me. And I need to find some peace within myself if I'm ever to gain myself back from this abyss. I can't seem to find any here, so I need to go. I asked Derek for the time. Nick is there, I walked in on them kissing. It give me some comfort to know they still have each other. Nick' eyes only held concern for my leaving, no anger. Maybe things will be alright between us again. It gives me hope. Derek doesn't seem so forgiving. I can see it in his eyes, he just could never understand why I needed to get away from the house to think.
But I do. Too many ties, too much baggage exists for me here. I need to go where I can start fresh, think fresh. Then come back again. There is a knock at the door........*
Philip lays his journal down. "Must be Alex, trying to talk me out of this." He thinks.
He opens the door and stares in shock. Nick is in the doorway, wearing a sheepish expression and carrying two open bottles of stout. "Two fisted drinkin' again?" Philip couldn't help using the old line.
"Yeah, but I might be convinced to give one up!" Nick smiles as he utters the familiar rejoinder. Then his expression sobers a little. "Can we talk?"
Philip just gapes for a second, not quite believing it was finally happening. Then nods ansd gestures for Nick to enter. Gasping a little as the new stitches pulled.
"You'd better take it easy or the Doc's won't be able to sew you back together. The second time was hard enough!" Nick sits in the chair by the window. Philip on the bed, facing him.
"You don't have to tell me." Philip grimaces, remembering the long lectures he received about not taking care of himself.
"Derek, Alex, Rachel and I received the lectures too." Nick admitted. Philip looked exausted, wasted. Nick wondered if he had been eating lately. It didn't look it. "Are you o.k.? I mean, are you doing better now?"
"I'll be alrigh'" Philip looked at the floor.
A gentle hand grasps his chin and raises it. Philip looks up to see intent green eyes peering into his. "When was the last time you slept? Or ate? And I mean it Philip. No evasions."
Philip just shook his head. Then finally. "Forever."
"C'mon!" Nick takes him by the hand and pulls him to his feet. Philip tries to resist, but with one stern look, he desists and meekly follows him to the kitchen.
"Sit!" Nick points to a chair. Philip sits, shaking his head as Nick starts to cook him something. "No drinking on an empty stomach."
Philip chuckles a little. He had heard THAT before! Suddenly it was as if the peace he had been seeking came to him. IF things stayed like this between him and Nick, maybe he shouldn't leave. Maybe he should tell Nick what Hitchcock had done to him, and what he had said before he let them go.
"Nick?" Philip makes his decision.
"Yeah?" Nick had watched the decision form in his face and wondered which way it would go.
"Do you want me t' stay?" Philip whispered. "Work this thin' out here."
"I think you and I really need to talk, Philip." Nick looked at him, seeing the hope in the light eyes. "And , yes, for the first time in a long time. I want you to stay."
Philip nods, relief washing over him like a wave. All these months.....he had held his breath waiting for this to happen. Now it was here. "Yes, we need t' talk. I need to talk . To someone....."
"About what Hitchcock did to you?" Nick guessed what Philip was working towards, he didn't miss the slight tremor in the man as he mentioned Randolf's name.
"Yes" Philip looked into Nick's eyes steadily as he could. It was time.
*******
*Journal of Nick Boyle
I just got through talking to Philip. My God, what he had to endure from that madman! If I EVER see him again, he's toast! I'll make sure the police have NOTHING thay can identify! Nobody gets away with treating my friends like that.
Friends....I can say that now about Philip. We talked it out and reached an understanding. I know WHY Philip left me, and what he gave up for me. I just wish ....... No. I won't go there anymore. Done is done. He's a Priest with the church, his vows cutting him off from a relationship with me forever, besides. Derek is the one for me, and I'll never leave him.
But I won't let Hitchcock get his hands on Philip again either. That part of the talk I'll never forget as long as I live. Philip is terrified, and Hitchcock messed him up real good this time. I wonder if he'll ever get over this. But Derek and I plan to help him all we can. But I still remember the haunted look on his face as he told me what happened to him...
Journal Entry Closed*
///// "I don' know where t' begin." Philip looked up at Nick. After eating, Nick talked Philip into going back to his room to talk. Derek wasn't there and Nick wanted the privacy.
"Well....just before I came busting after you, I scoped out the area below the stairs. The control room. I head the guys talking...and...." Nick blushed suddenly, not sure of what he had heard anymore.
"Oh God above...ya heard..." Philip looked immediately sick and stood to leave.
"No! Don't go!" Nick shot up and reached out to grab his arm.
Philip reacted violently, ripping out of his grasp and backpedling frantically away, his fear taking root. He ended up in a corner eyes wide and dilated, breath coming in pants.
"Easy, Philip." Nick tried to calm him down, walking forward slowly until he was within touching distance.
"I'm sorry." Philip whispered, still shaking. "I can't seem t'....help myself. I just panicked."
"I know, I know. He did something terrible to you. Talk to me, tell me. Together maybe we can find a way to help you." Nick kept his voice low and sooting. Inside he was seething. Hitchcock was going to die. Slowly and painfully.
"I remember, we fought. He slammed my head into the wall an' I blacked out for awhile." Philip began haltingly, not wanting to tell, but knowing he had to. "When I came to, I was lyin' down on th' floor. I was naked. He had stripped m' while I was out."
Nick slowly reached out and held Philips arm, giving it a comforting squeeze. "It's alright, it's over. Your safe."
"He.....he was there, watching m'. He got off on watchin' me, I think. He was playin' with himself as he was telling me he had Derek and was going t' kill him. He told me if I didn't do exactily what he said, he would hurt Derek and Alex..." Philip looked at the floor, not wanting to see the condemnation in Nicks eyes for his next confession.
Nick noticed this and squeezed the arm again. He knew the worst was coming and wanted Philip to know he was there.
"He showed m' th' picture of them. Then he grabbed m' an forced me to..." Philip couldn't finish, the memories were still too fresh, he shook. He didn't want to remember.
"Did he rape you?" Nick whispered, sick at the thought of Philip being violated in that way.
Philip shook his head. "No...he made me use m' mouth....an' then later he told m' he was going to. But you must have interrupted his plans."
Nick was burning in fury, Hitchcock had obviously wanted to keep Philip, from the way it looked on the chopper. Then a thought came into Nick's mind. "Philip? What did Hitchcock whisper to you before he let go?"
Philip didn't answer for a long time. Nick was going to ask again when he finally did. Nick had to strain to hear him.
"He said he was coming back for m'. That I belonged t' him." Philip looked into Nick's eyes. He was now more scared than Nick had ever seen him. "Please, don't let him take me again!"
"I won't." Nick pulled him in for a hug. "He'll never touch you again!"
Neither noticed Alex crying behind the closed door. She had heard every word.//////
****
Randolf Hitchcock sat in his new headquarters and planned his next move. It had taken them a week to set everything up and hire new people. Every night he had dreamed of taking Philip Callaghan and teaching him the finer points of pleasure. Just the image of his body sent a lustful thrill through his veins. He would kill Derek and the others, but Philip would soon be his forever.
He had located a perfectly good scroll of ancient incantations, said to conjure up demons who preyed on the good. Derek wouldn't stand a chance. But first, he had to catch himself a Priest.
"Johnson? Implement the hook." He spoke into his phone. Phase 1 was shaping up nicely. Hitchcock went back to his fantasizing.
****
That night Nick was silent and withdrawn. Derek was concerned. He had walked in on Nick and Philip talking in his and Nick's room. They seemed to be getting along, for which he was grateful. Then when Philip informed Derek he was staying, Derek felt overjoyed. Philip left the room shortly after to go on a walk, leaving him with Nick.
Nick had decended on him, kissing him passionately. Derek had returned the kiss with fervor, sensing Nick needed the contact. When they broke it off, Nick hugged him fiercely.
"The bastard forced himself on Philip. It's not right! He can't handle this and it's eating him up!" Nick held onto Derek like a lifeline, realizing just how lucky he was.
Derek turned white, realizing what Nick was saying, and suddenly Philip's silence made sense. "And now he's afraid of him coming back, isn't he?"
Nick nodded, not letting go of his lover. "He'll never touch him again. I swear it!"
Derek held Nick tighter, hoping it was a promise they all coud keep. Randolf Hitchcock was unbalanced, and capable of anything. Whatever the man planned next was bound to be ugly for them all.
****
*Journal of Alex Moreau
I can't believe what I just heard! That bastard Hitchcock is going to pay for this! To hurt a man like Philip like that is inconceivable to me. Oh God, how is he ever going to get through this.
Nick is finally over his anger, that is one good thing. Maybe it will be enough to help springboard Philip back to the land of the living. I noticed he's not eating much and he looks like Hell. Refuses to even go back to his Church.... poor man doesn't deserve the Hell he's been in. Hitchcock does, and if Nick doesn't kill him, I'll make him suffer. Alot. And with extreme prejudice!
Philip went for a walk out in the dark, alone, after his talk with Nick. I hope he comes back soon, there's a storm brewing. Maybe my dreams will be clearer tonite and I can actually remember them. But I will pray for Philip tonite. He needs my support.
Journal Entry Closed*
Philip say on the bluffs, overlooking the ocean and the Bridge. It was a calm night, making Philip more nervous. He had almost turned back dozens of times for the house, but refused to let his fear rule him.
He was tired, so tired. And he couldn't sleep. Hitchcock invaded his dreams and the things he did to him there were far more horrible than anything that really happened. He had wanted to rape him, brutally. In Philip's dreams he has a thousand times, and it's beginning to wear on his soul.. he wished to God he could find a way to stop these dreams. But at least they aren't a reality... yet.
Philip sighed, the sun was coming up. He had no idea just how long he had been out here, thinking, but by the stiffness in his legs, it had been hours. Philip walked back on his well-worn path through the gardens and to the house. He noticed someone watching him from the window, but before he was close enough to see who it was, the figure had disappeared.
"Philip! You've been gone all night! Are you alright?" Alex was holding the side door open for him.
"I'm fine Alex." Philip grinned ruefully, he had been gone longer than he thought to worry her like he had. "Just needed t' think on some thin's"
"Did you work anything out?" Alex was watching his face closely.
"No." Philip shook his head. Hitchcock still haunted his nights, and day's weren't much better. Then he caught Alex's worried frown. "But don' worry, I will in time."
"Philip," Alex turned and looked him in the eyes. "I hate to see you like this. You have to work this out soon, or you'll end up killing yourself! You havn't eaten or slept in days!"
Philip could tell she was really worried for him and tried to re- assure her. But knowing in his heart she was right. If he didn't find SOME peace soon, it would haunt him forever. He thought of his resumed friendship with Nick and smiled softly, yes, that was a start. Then he thought of Alex, and he unswerving loyalty, and more of the ache eased.
"C'mon, " Alex ushered him to the kitchen. "Time for breakfast."
Philip shook his head. He was hungry, but it seemed every time he ate, something happened, a memory, a dream, something, and he ended up throwing it back up again. Maybe he would be alright if he spent the day here, with them. He allowed Alex to steer him into the kitchen where Derek, Nick, and Rachel were eating.
"Morning Philip." Derek raised an eyebrow at his bedraggled appearance. Outside a soft rain began to fall. "Are you alright?"
"I'll b' fine, Derek." Philip blushed. "Just needed t' do some thinkin'."
"Well, sit and eat." Nick chimed in, "Then you can help Alex and me with some research, sound good."
"About right." Philip said softly grinning.
"Maybe you should nap a little first." Rachel didn't like the unhealthy look about her favorite Priest and good friend. "Kat will be over after school. I have to go pick her up at the ferry terminal on the mainland at 4:00"
Philip brightened a little more. He adored Kat and she always made him feel better. But he didn't know if he could sleep yet without dreaming of Hitchcock and his tortures.
"Tell ya what Rachel." Nick was grinning now, an evil look in his eyes. "I'll make sure Philip sleeps if you make Derek take a day off."
"Nick!" Rachel gasped in mock exasperation, "That's impossible and you know it! I'd rather try to teach him Latin!"
Alex was openly laughing at Derek's totally bemused expression. All that served to fuel Nick's mischief.
"Yeah, well have you ever tried to get him" and he pointed at Philip. "to do something HE doesn't want to do?"
"Yeah, I have." Rachel started smiling. "I just sic Kat on him and he doesn't DARE refuse her!" "So that's how it works..." Philip says dryly.
Nick joins Alex in uproarous laughter while Philip shakes his head and Derek sighes.
"Lunatics!" Derek sighs in mock sufferance, then looks heavenward. "Lord, grant me strength!"
"Amen." Philip murmurs, just loudly enough to set the trio laughing.
****
"What time is the scheduled mayhem?" Hitchcock say into the phone. Soon, so soon , and it would come to pass. He would have his revenge, and Philip would be his.
"4:00, sir." The voice on the phone relays. "All 'gifts' are planted, we're just waiting now."
"Make sure our target is there. Use any means you have to." Hitchcock's voice relayed the dire consequences should they fail.
"Yes, sir." the shaky reply came. "But the word from the House is that he will be there on his own."
"Excellent!" Hitchcock smiled, and began plotting what he would do to his soon to be gotten possession. One thing about Randolph Hitchcock... he was never short on imagination.
****
As it turned out, Philip fell asleep in the library, Nick watching over him. Rachel had promised to wake him up when it was time to go get Kat. Philip wanted to go with her. And since it was his first request to leave the island for any reason, Rachel quickly agreed. Nick volunteering to drive them. Derek shook his head, and went back to his office to do more work, Alex following him. Nick followed Philip to the Library, where, 15 minutes later, he was fast asleep.
At 3:00 Nick woke him softly, ignoring the first start of fear in his friends eyes, until he was recognized. "C'mon, Rachel's leaving to get Kat in 10 minutes. Want to change before you go?"
"Yeah, thanks." Philip was still blushing over his reaction. And not for the first time, wondered when they would stop. He stood and made his way to his room. Precisely 10 minutes later, he came down shaved and dressed, meeting Nick and Rachel in the foyer.
"Were catching the 3:15 ferry to the mainland, by then Kat will be there to meet us and we'll come back." Nick looked to make sure Philip was o.k. with the plans.
Philip nodded and the trio headed out the door to find Derek's Range Rover parked and ready.
"Figured it be easier than the Mustang." Nick grinned and climbed in. Philip took the other front seat after Rachel said she wanted the back so she could sit with Kat later. And then they were off.
****
Alex looked up at the clock, it was almost 4:00, they would be meeting Kat now.
"They just went to town, Alex. Philip will be alright!" Derek said, amused. Alex had been watching the clock like a hawk, checking it once every few seconds.
"You sure about that?" Alex smiled, realizing she must have looked silly. "We are talking about Nick's driving here."
"True." Derek answered, and was about to say more when his vision greyed out and images flowed into his mind. Screaming, fire, smoke and a huge explosion. He saw Kat and Rachel in a smoky room, huddled in a corner, Nick searching frantically for them. Then a figure in the water, drowning. Then he was aware of someone shaking him, and the vision left.
"Derek!" Alex sounded frantic. "What did you see!"
"Alex?" he looked up into her eyes. "We have to stop it!"
"Stop what?" She was confused, what had he seen?
"The Ferry... it's going to sink!"
Get your own Free Home Page