Poetry and Stories by Dixie

Transylvanian Guy
Tim as Will Shakespeare
Sunshine, Etc.
Christmas Wish List
Ballade
Let's Take a Trip to the Movies

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TRANSYLVANIAN GUY

(apologies to Don McLean)

A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How that castle used to make me quake;
And during that dark rainy scene,
I used to holler at the screen,
"Janet! Brad! You're making a mistake!"
And I knew that if they went inside
They both might be the monster's bride:
Frank was not selective;
Sex was his main elective...
When Janet let Riff dry her hair
And strip her to her underwear,
We all sensed something to beware
The night the Time Warp played.

And we were singin',

Bye, bye, Transylvanian Guy,
You're exotic and erotic
And you're not a bit shy.
In your garterbelt and platforms,
With that gleam in your eye,
You're a legend now that never will die,
A legend with tattoo on its thigh...

I was a fairly normal movie fan
With my bag of popcorn when the film began,
But "normal" was an also-ran,
The night the Time Warp played.
It's a quarter century since your bow
And though conservatives had a cow,
You got it on and showed us how
The night the Time Warp played...

While Janet faints at sight of Frank,
Brad's somewhat thicker than a plank;
His brain scan always comes up blank,
Too dumb to be afraid.

But it was Bye, bye, Transylvanian guy,
Other fellows may be jealous
(See that look in Riff's eye?)
So at the end, kiss this planet goodby
And say, "Well, at least I gave it a try...
Creating life that never will die."
And a film that won't seem to die.

And there we were, in Frankie's lab
(Among a crowd that needs rehab)
With Rocky stirring on the slab,
Frank's creature, newly-made...
Did Frankie write the book on sex
With help from Freud and Eddie Rex
While watching Rocky flex his pecs
The night the Time Warp played?...

We watched the doctor live his dream,
A grandiose transsexual scheme;
"Don't dream it, be it," was his theme
The night the Time Warp played...

And Dr. Furter made us quiver
When he chopped out Eddie's liver...
I wouldn't want to try it:
Meat Loaf's not on my diet.
Though I still remember how we cheered
When viewing acts our parents feared;
Frank's lifestyle was a little weird;
The cast, not scenes, were laid...

The perfect host, Frank said goodnight
And after putting out the light
Made sure his guests would both sleep tight
The night the Time Warp played.

And it's Bye, bye, Transylvanian guy,
As physician-cum-mortician,
No one here would deny
That your bedside manner brings a gleam to the eye
Brad and Janet will recall till they die...
With a blush or two and maybe a sigh.

When Riff-Raff took command at last,
Frank's future soon became his past;
The castle vanished with a blast
And left him here below.

But no matter how you see it,
Frank was right, "Don't dream it, be it!"
Hold your dreams and never let them go.

So, Bye, bye, Transylvanian guy,--
Scientifically terrific
Though your plans went awry,
You've earned your star
In the Hollywood sky
With a screen debut that never will die.
No, Frank-N-Furter never can die.

Bye, bye, Tim-sylvanian guy,
You're our master, our spell-caster;
There's a tear in our eye...
For Frankie's dream is one
That never should die:
Be yourself and let the phonies pass by,
For reality is Frank, you and I.

- By Dixie J. Whitted, November 12, 1999



TIM AS WILL SHAKESPEARE

Young eaglet soaring high above the clouds,
Whose inner fire lights a torch of fame;
Evoke the awe of theatre-going crowds,
Be sure the centuries shall learn thy name!
Dark chestnut curls caress thy downy cheek,
Wide eyes that gaze with eager,searching glance
To understand men's hearts ye ever seek,
To see all, know all, limn each man's romance.
As long as drama lives, thy fate is sure,
Thy works engraved in burnished letters bright;
"The play's the thing" that's certain to endure
While man resists the coming of the night.
And thou wert born unto this sweetest end:
To speak each speech the Swan of Avon penned.

- By Dixie J. Whitted (2/21/98)



SUNSHINE, ETC.

(Singable to "Working on My Tan")

Rowan's mixing mai tais
With a practised hand;
Tim is catching sailfish.
Tropical delight is
What we understand,
And we say, "Hey, man,--
We're getting quite a tan!"

Down the deck Dix dances
In her palm-frond mini;
Tim nibbles on her neck,--
Such a bold lad, i'n' he?
She shrieks, "Oh, man,--
Look out for my tan!!"

["Oh, man," says Rowan,
This girl's burning!"]

"Hurry with the lotion,"
Tim commands him quickly;
"Out here on the ocean
No one's pale or sickly..."
"Oh, man, let's cool off her tan."
"Give that here, you also-ran!!"

"Rowan, dear and Tim, sweet,
You don't have to quarrel...
All for one, in this heat,
Is our well-known moral;
So my plan
Is: you BOTH work on my tan!
--Yeah, man, I'll be your grateful fan!!
Sunshine...sunshine..."

- By Dixie J. Whitted (5/2/97)



CHRISTMAS WISH-LIST

That joyous season is here again
With a ho-ho-ho and a wreath of holly;
Peace and good will to our fellow men
And our fellow women -- may yours be jolly!

Dear Cap'n Martha, our leader fearless
Who steers the list through peril and pleasure:
A virtual medal for piloting peerless,
Leading our crew to Curried treasure.

For Betty Thomas, TimGoddess supreme,
More storage space for her vid collection.
Tim's body of work is her lifelong dream
(Also his body, section by section...).

To Josh and Bryan and Mark, et al,
Holiday greetings this chilly season --
Hanukkah, Christmas or Jesuitical,
Everyone celebrate, whatever reason!

For Christine Z, afloat in Tim-wavs,
Whose page gives access to Curry links,
(She knows the sounds a Timbo craves):
A Titanic lifesaver ere she sinks...

And Linda Fletcher, whose Tim-site glows
With wealth of photos and information
(And damn-near-fatal videos),
May Tim surf her site with antici......pation.

Now Jamie and Dina, Arlene, Betty B.,
Give me a hand and we'll roll out the barrel,
A mug full of grog, a ship's biscuit or three,
And Yuletide songs by -- who else but Cuz Carol?

Maria and Cynthia, Shonie and Grant,
Cindra and Linda E., step forth, me hearties!
For Curry keepsakes (try not to pant);
This is the party to end Christmas parties!!

To cat-loving Timbos, a sack of kittens,
But a plague on ABC, those wretches!!
For myself...two stockingsful of Britons
(Amazing how much a fishnet stretches...).

So, joy to you all, and I'll be goin'
--With those merry gentlemen, Tim and Rowan.

- By Dixie J. Whitted



BALLADE

(After Francois Villon)

Where are the Barrymores of today,
Speaking their speeches on echoing stages,
Proving again that the play's the play
And Art the alchemy of the ages?
Garrick and Gay are in their graves,
Duse and Bernhardt as well, I fear;
They reaped their share of the critics' raves,
But where are the stars of yesteryear?

Gable and Grable, LaMarr and Lamour,
Wooing the world on the silver screen,
Keeping the wolf from the studio door,
Seducing the customers, scene by scene;
Many a talent did meteor-rise
Only to fade with the winter sere;
The ranks have thinned, which is no surprise,
--But where are the stars of yesteryear?

The present day offers pickings meager
But one star rises above the throng,
Multitalented, boldly eager
To make his mark with a smile and a song,
Or -- Evil his Good, with mocking laughter,
Making us worship or cringe in fear...
Tim Curry has us following after,
Forgetting the stars of yesteryear.

Tim, the torch is in your hands now;
Hold it high, let its blaze flame clear;
Give the audience your best bow
And outshine the stars of yesteryear!

- By Dixie J. Whitted, October 10, 1997



LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO THE MOVIES

(to the tune of "Let's Get Away From It All")

Let's take a trip to the movies,
Let's take a trip to the show,
Let's watch a feature
Where Frank builds a creature
To set his libido aglow...

Let's cheer when Frank throws his cloak off,
And now that we know of his plan,
Let's sing along
With that transvestite song;
Let's watch him make us a man.

Let's do the Time Warp frenetic,
Kiss our decorum goodbye;
Let's watch Tim Curry
Get into a fury
When Janet goes off with his guy.

Let's hurry back to the castle;
--Who cares if it hasn't a phone?
Let's watch Magenta
Behave like a yenta
'Cause Riff Raff won't leave her alone.

Let's take a trip to the movies,
Let's spend an hour of bliss;
Let's cheer our Hero
(Whose future is zero...
But maybe *this* time Riff will miss)...

Let's take a walk on the wild side;
Just as we did long ago;
Conventions we'll tear down,--
Let's let our hair down,
Let's take a trip to the show.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show!!

- By Dixie J. Whitted October 11, 1997


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