"Another One of Those Days..."

Single-part Story

Title: "Another One of Those Days in the Old Age of Yoda, Master Jedi"
Author: Qui-Jen Jinn (JediQuiJenJinn@aol.com)
Archive: My site (Phantom Knights), Early Years Archive and Council of Denial. All others, please ask. If you pass my trials, you can add my sillieness to your playground.
Category: Absolutely Crazy? ::grin:: Obi-Wan's Youth
Rating: PG
Warnings: I've proofread it, but I have no idea how well I did in said proofing. This works a little better if you've read "One of Those Days in the Life of Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Apprentice," but it can stand alone. Also, if you aren't prepared for some very odd plot-twists, watch out. I hope they don't cause any vertigo ...
Spoilers: Spoiler free!!!
Summary: Thirty years, and still, nothing's changed. Sequel to "One of Those Days in the Life of Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Apprentice."
Feedback: By e-mail, constructive criticism only.
DISCLAIMER: Before anyone tries to sue me, I have no official connections with George Lucas or any of the people/companies/etc involved in "Star Wars" films/books/etc. The characters of Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Yoda, Mace Windu and Yaddle all belong to George Lucas. The only thing I have created is this particular story.
I'm not making any profit off of this. All characters will be returned from whence they came, for better or for worse, when this story is done.
Other Comments: Yes, this is from a fit of late night insanity. I have to thank DD Computer Designers for their Master Yoda screen saver, because that really pushed the final button I needed to get this out. You'll see what I mean.
~*~*~*~

Obi-Wan woke with a start. He had been having the strangest dream...As he'd watched, Master Yoda had floated, bobbed, hobbled and *done backflips?* in the dark of a training room painted completely *black*. With a heavy sigh, Obi-Wan made a mental note to *not* let his master do the cooking from now on, especially when Qui-Gon had some "special herb" he'd lovingly cultivated and wanted to try as a food seasoning.

"Good morning, Padawan," Qui-Gon said good-naturedly as his nineteen-year old apprentice stumbled into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Master," Obi-Wan replied, though it came out sounding more like, "Ghhh mrrnnnnn, Mehhhhsth."

Qui-Gon shook his head, a smiled threatening to ruin his expression of Jedi serenity. "Obi-Wan," he said. "You do remember that you're supposed to be spending the next three days with Master Yoda, don't you?"

Obi-Wan's sleepwalking abruptly switched gears to "violently-woken-from-the-dead." "It...slipped my mind, Master," Obi-Wan admitted, recovering himself admirably under the circumstances. "I am ready, though. I've packed. I will be sharing quarters with Master Yoda, will I not?"

"Yes, Padawan, you will be. It will be a nice break for you. You haven't had the chance to spend time with him since you were first starting out as a Padawan. It's been, what, four years now since you stayed with Master Yoda?"

Obi-Wan nodded. When he'd first become Qui-Gon's Padawan, he'd often stayed with Master Yoda if his Master's presence was required where Obi-Wan could not go. He supposed it was because Yoda was Qui-Gon's former master, and had a soft spot for him and his apprentice.

"I'll be leaving just after midday meal. I trust you and Master Yoda can handle your moving in without me."

"Of course, Master," Obi-Wan said, setting into his breakfast with the gusto only teenage boys can manage.

Qui-Gon nodded, and went back to the news on the datapad before him.

~*~*~*~

Obi-Wan was learning new lessons in Jedi patience. His Master had been gone only one day, and Obi-Wan desperately wanted him back. Maybe *he* could talk some sense into Master Yoda...

Obi-Wan was seriously wondering if he had the rare gift of precognition. The dream he'd had of Yoda moving animatedly in a training room wasn't too far off from the scene that had greated him that morning--Master Yoda hopping in to breakfast on a pogostick, cackling gleefully and rambling on about "Jedi" and "time to eat." As if that hadn't been bad enough, the ancient master had given up his somber robes for an oversized, hot-pink sequined gown. For a moment, Obi-Wan wondered if he had stolen clothes from Yaddle's wardrobe, then though better of it. Master Yaddle certainly had better taste than hot pink sequins.

The day had only plummeted from there. Yoda had run around with Maroon Maul (Guaranteed to scare your old paint right off the walls. Grrrrr!!!) and an unwieldy paintbrush, putting streaks of the odd-colored paint (sections of it looked suspiciously black) all over the walls and ceilings. Obi-Wan scrambled after him with a towel and a bag of old sheets, trying desperately to cover furniture, floor and keepsakes. Unfortunately, he didn't think much about his own safety, and soon found his braid covered in Maroon Maul (Arrrrr!!! Grrrrrr!!!).

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The scream helped. A lot. But it didn't stop Yoda in his tirade. Obi-Wan could swear the ancient Jedi was drunk, or high, as random objects were levitated about the quaters. It had to be one of the two. Master Yoda couldn't be senile. It just wouldn't be right...would it?

~*~*~*~

*Bang*!

Obi-Wan was pounding his head against what remained on the living area's table. Day two of Yodese Torture, as he'd come to think of it. Bant and Reeft had come to visit him earlier that day, but had run when they saw Master Yoda with a towel draped toga-like over his body, a claw pressed to his chest, passionately intoning the words, "Et tu, Brute?!"

That had been the good part of the day. After that, Yoda had insisted on riding around on Obi-Wan's shoulders and playing Taun Taun Wrangler--where Obi-Wan was the Taun Taun, constantly roped around the legs with the Force. Then, Yoda had decided to serenade Obi-Wan with a classic song from his home planet. Obi-Wan prayed that it was Yoda's voice and state of mind that made it such pure torture. He'd hate to think any culture would compose music that sounded like a rancor dying.

"Obi-Wan?"

*Bang*!

//Obi-Wan?//

*Ban-

//Master?//

//Yes, Obi-Wan.//

Obi-Wan looked up from where he had been banging his head against the table's remains to see Qui-Gon's imposing--and comforting--form in the doorway.

"Master!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and running to the taller man. The Padawan fell at his master's feet and proceeded to kiss his boots. He then proceeded to spit dirt out of his mouth and onto Master Yoda's already ruined floor.

"Padawan, what's going on?" Qui-Gon asked, lifting his apprentice to his feet.

"It's Master Yoda. I think he's been drugged...or something," Obi-Wan answered his master, wild-eyed. "He's been wearing feminine clothing, singing, dancing, using a pogostick, playing Taun Taun Wrangler..."

Qui-Gon let Obi-Wan ramble on and get all of the frustration out of his system. His padawan looked a wreck, his usually spikey hair matted down, his braid stiff with Maroon Maul (At last we will have revenge on the Jedi for having hair!) paint and his clothing askew.

"I think I know the problem, Padawan. Why don't you get your things and head back to our quarters? I'll take care of Master Yoda," Qui-Gon reasssured Obi-Wan. The young man was all too happy to oblige, quickly scooping up the few belongings he'd brought with him and scrambling out of the door.

"Master Yaddle," Qui-Gon said, activating his commlink. "Master Yoda is in need of your services."

~*~*~*~

"Mine!"

*Thwap*!

"Fine, he will be. Rest, he needs. Clean this mess, Master Windu will. On probation is he for conduct unbecoming a Jedi Master. Found drunk in public, he was," Master Yaddle told Qui-Gon as she strode out of the room. As the tall human followed, she resisted the urge to shake her head. //After almost thirty years, figured it out still he has not. Give Master Yoda a mild concussion, he should. Feel better, both of them would.//

~*~*~*~

Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed as he stepped into the 'fresher. It felt so good to be home and free of an insane Jedi Master.

~*~*~*~

Qui-Gon hid a smile as he passed Mace Windu in the hallways. The Council Member was pushing a cart of cleaning supplies before him, and had a ridiculous white apron over his Jedi tunics and rubber galoshes instead of leather boots. Mace's scowl was none-to-friendly as he passed his friend.

//Laugh it up, old man. You just wait until the next time you defy the Council ... // Mace threatened the other Jedi.

It was a credit to Qui-Gon's Jedi training the he didn't burst into loud guffaws until he was safely ensconed in his quarters.

~*~*~*~
THE END

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This was posted on April 21, 2001.

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