Title: The Aurian Gambit
Author: Chris
Email: ChrisSabian@ireland.com
Rating: G (I guess)
Status: WIP (Part 1/4)
Time period: About 10 years before TPM, Obi-Wan is 15.
Spoilers: JA #1, #2, #3
Disclaimer: George, Dave and Jude own The Usual Suspects; Niv-Lag, RosAntu etc are
Mine All Mine, but feel free to play.
Summary: A tragedy has occurred in Obi-Wan’s life leaving him depressed and guilt
ridden. He decides that he is no longer worthy to be a Jedi and quits.
Qui-Gon dissuades him temporarily and sends him to the Temple to reflect.
A series of events at the Temple forces Obi-Wan to rethink his decision.
Meanwhile Qui-Gon goes on a Mission which turns nasty and well, you’ll
have to read the rest…
Author’s Note: This is a story I wrote for my 10 year old daughter, after we had read the JA
books #1,#2 and #3. I am currently editing it for a more general audience by
removing the in-family jokes. It is written in true Starwars tradition. It is the
middle of three stories, the prequel will take 20 years to produce and the
sequel is forever doomed to dwell in the unexplored outer rim planets of my
mind. By the way all of this was written before the publication of JA #4, #5
and #6.
Thanks to the real Niv-Lag, who added much colour to the story.
It was not yet light and the stars were still shining brightly in the cold, clear sky. Qui-Gon Jinn liked this time of day and for several weeks now, he and his padawan learner Obi-Wan Kenobi had been out training in the early mornings. He had been pushing his young padawan to the brink of physical exhaustion and mental fatigue. This morning they had run for two hours over uneven ground, waded through swamps and clambered through brambles. They had finished by swimming across a river and now - wet, tired and cold - Obi-Wan was attempting a mental exercise.
Qui-Gon liked to leave these exercises until last, knowing that weariness and exhaustion increased the difficulty of the activity. At least, that was how it sometimes seemed to Obi-Wan. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan knew he didn’t have any real cause to complain about his Master. He could be a hard task-master but each exercise had value even if Obi-Wan could not always see it at the time. Qui-Gon was a fair man, passionate about his Jedi status and his responsibilities to train Obi-Wan. It was that, which made it all the more difficult. Obi-Wan knew he would have to tell Qui-Gon soon. Several times during the last few days he had almost said it, but each time he lost his nerve at the last moment. He felt as though he was betraying his Master’s trust. Qui-Gon believed in him. He would tell him today. If he didn’t, then sooner or later Qui-Gon would have to tell him and he didn’t want that. There would be no dignity in that.
Obi-Wan put these thoughts to the back of his mind and concentrated on the exercise. He was balancing on a rock just wide enough to hold his foot, he was blindfolded and carried half his weight again on his back. It was taking him all his concentration just to stay on the rock.
‘Focus on the stone on the ground in front of you,’ Qui-Gon ordered. Obi-Wan shifted his concentration to the stone but almost fell off his perch. With some effort he managed to regain his balance.
Qui-Gon watch as Obi-Wan steadied himself. ‘Good. Now bring the stone to you.’
Obi-Wan attempted to gather the Force around him but it was elusive, avoiding his every call. He was weary. All he really wanted was a shower, a clean tunic and something to eat. But he knew there was no chance of these until his Master was satisfied with his performance. His use of the living force wasn’t great at the best of times and now with all these added challenges he was sure it would be some time before they returned to their quarters.
‘To succeed you must rise above your discomfort and the limitations of your body.’ Qui-Gon advised, tapping into the unspoken thoughts. ‘Look to your inner self.’
Obi-Wan felt himself tense. That was the very thing that he didn’t want to do. He could feel himself loosing control of his inner thoughts and he tried to focus but he was powerless. Despite his best efforts his thoughts once again rushed back to those memories that had tortured him for weeks now. Would they ever go away? He wanted to cry out in pain! His concentration lost, he fell off the rock.
‘Don’t centre on your anxieties,’ Qui-Gon called, aware of the grief in Obi-Wan’s mind. ‘Concentrate on the here and now. Try again!’
Qui-Gon was worried about the boy. He knew that Obi-Wan was miserably depressed. During their last mission Bant, Obi-Wan’s close friend, had been killed in a battle. She had thrown herself in front of a Blaster bolt that was meant for Obi-Wan. The boy blamed himself for her death and was unable to clear the guilt and the grief from his mind. Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan slowly returned to his exercise. He had always been so enthusiastic before the tragedy, now it seemed that he only participated because he was honour-bound to do.
Qui-Gon had requested and been granted temporary leave from new missions to allow him time to work with the boy without the added pressure of an assignment. He had been patient with his padawan, he had worked him hard hoping that physical exhaustion and an occupied mind would ease the horrid memories. But time was moving on and Obi-Wan was showing no signs of improvement. It was time to try a new approach.
There was a short, routine mission coming up that Master Yoda had asked Qui-Gon to consider. He hadn’t told the boy about it yet and to tell the truth, he was uneasy about taking Obi-Wan with him. Could he trust the boy’s judgement in his present state-of-mind? Would he be more of a liability than a help? Perhaps, a mission wasn’t the answer either.
Another solution would present itself.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Obi-Wan’s voice calling him by name.
‘Qui-Gon,’ he had said in deliberate tone.
Jedi apprentices always addressed their Master as ‘Master’. How strange that Obi-Wan would address him in this manner, distracted he may be but never disrespectful. It was not like Obi-Wan to ignore protocol.
He looked up to see the boy approaching him, blindfold removed.
‘Obi-Wan, follow your orders,’ Qui-Gon called sternly. ’Return to your task immediately.’ He would not tolerate insubordination no matter how downcast the boy was.
Obi-Wan continued to walk towards him. ‘Qui-Gon, I have something to say…’.
‘Return to your task now, Padawan,’ Qui-Gon interrupted as he rose to confront the boy.
Obi-Wan pleaded in a shaky voice. ‘Qui-Gon, hear me out, please!’
Qui-Gon sensed a deep unease stir within him. He sat down again, silently granting the boy liberty to speak.
‘I am not completing this task nor any other tasks because…..,’ Obi-Wan paused. It took all his courage to continue, but he forced the words out, ‘I am not completing my training to be Jedi Knight.’ With that he removed his lightsabre and trust it towards Qui-Gon. ‘I am no longer a worthy Jedi pupil. The memories of Bant’s death haunt me, my every thought, my every action, they have taken over my very existence. I have lost touch with the Force, it eludes me.’
Qui-Gon did not move nor did he take the lightsabre and it lay between them like a great canyon. Qui-Gon was stunned, he had known that the boy was downhearted but he hadn’t realised just how dispirited he was. He thought quickly. ‘Obi-Wan put your lightsabre back on your belt, I can not –,’ he sighed, ‘- I will not accept it.’
Obi-Wan cut across him ‘You must Qui-Gon, it is your duty to do so. A padawan can leave his training any time he wishes, I will seek the approval of the Council if I must.’ Tears sprung to his eyes.
‘Obi-Wan, listen to me. I will not accept it - yet. I am only asking you to put off this decision for a few days.’ Qui-Gon continued ‘There is something I want you to do, it will not take long. When you have completed it we will discuss this again and if you still want to follow this course of action, I will not stand in your way.’
‘Qui-Gon, there is no point,’ Obi-Wan replied in an exasperated tone. ‘I have thought this through carefully, there is no other option.’
‘You can see no other option because you have not looked for any other option,’ Qui-Gon said with some irritation. Obi-Wan tried to interrupt but Qui-Gon raised his hand demanding silence. ‘I have watched you carefully since Bant’s death. You have blocked out the Force, You have blocked me out, You have systematically closed your mind to all other possibilities - other than the one you have just given voice to. The worst decisions are those made with a closed mind.’
Obi-Wan wanted to argue his case but he thought better of it. Much better to humour Qui-Gon for a couple of days and then it would be all over.
‘Will you do this for me, Obi-Wan?’ Qui-Gon asked.
Obi-Wan nodded. Qui-Gon could sense the doubt but he chose to ignore it and continued. ‘I’m going on a short mission to cover a state visit to the Planet Aurian.’ Obi-Wan was quite relieved. This might not be too bad after all, he thought. A mission would be a good way to finish his apprenticeship. Then he realised Qui-Gon had said I and not we and his heart sank. He knew he shouldn’t have been upset by this decision, he wanted to give up this way of life – didn’t he? And yet, it hurt him to think that Qui-Gon was going without him.
Qui-Gon gestured for Obi-Wan to sit beside him, then looking straight at him he said quietly, ‘Aurian is on the way to Coruscant, we will travel together as far as there, then you will continue on to the Temple at Coruscant. They will be expecting you, I will make the arrangements. In my absence you will be answerable to Master Yoda.’
Obi-Wan was puzzled and looking away from Qui-Gon, he asked ‘What shall I do at the Temple?’
Qui-Gon put his hand on the boy’s shoulder ‘You have only one task, but I sense that it will not be easy for you.’ He paused for a moment to turn Obi-Wan's face towards him again. ‘Focus on your strengths, Obi-Wan. Open your mind. Seek out all the reasons why you should continue your training to be a Jedi Knight.’ He studied Obi-Wan for a moment to see if the boy understood what he had to do but he was unable to judge from the boy’s passive face. ‘I will join you at the Temple when I have completed my mission and we can then discuss this business. By then you should have considered all the possibilities, both the good and the bad, and you will be able to make a better decision.’
Obi-Wan thought for a moment. It wasn’t going to take him too long to complete that task. After all, he already knew that there weren’t any honourable reasons for him to continue his training. He said nothing.
‘I can see that you haven’t much enthusiasm for this project,’ Qui-Gon continued. ‘As my Padawan, however, you are duty-bound to obey my orders, no matter how distasteful or meaningless they may seem. Trust my judgement, Obi-Wan.’
Obi-Wan turned away again but he could feel Qui-Gon eyes on him, burning into him, demanding a reply. Finally, he turned to Qui-Gon and looked him straight in the eye: ‘I know my duty and I will fulfil my responsibilities, Master’. Qui-Gon almost breathed a sigh of relief as Obi-Wan returned his lightsabre to his belt.
‘Come,’ Qui-Gon said kindly, standing up. Now it was Obi-Wan’s turn to relax, at last he was going to get that shower. Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan’s elbow and helped him to his feet and then lead him back to the rock. He said, as he handed the boy his blindfold: ‘You still have a task to complete here before we eat, young Padawan.’ Obi-Wan groaned to himself. He would never comprehend his Master’s ways!
The journey to Aurian had been long but uneventful. During the day Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had said little to one another. There had been little time when they returned from the training exercise, the ship to Aurian was to leave within the hour. They had eaten and packed in silence. Obi-Wan had purposefully taken his lightsabre from his belt and packed it in his holdall. He didn’t feel worthy enough to wear it. Either Qui-Gon had been in such a hurry that he hadn’t noticed or he chose not to say anything. Either way, Obi-Wan was glad. He did not want another confrontation with his Master.
It was dark by the time they reached Aurian. Qui-Gon had been met by an entourage fit for a king. He had gently reminded Obi-Wan of his duty to fulfil his task. Then without a second glance he was gone with a suddenness that tasted of finality. Was Qui-Gon closing him out of his life, so soon?
Still, Obi-Wan had felt uneasy in Qui-Gon’s company and he was relieved when his Master left. Now he could be alone with his thoughts without the uncomfortable feeling that he should make polite conversation. Of course, he knew that this was a ridiculous reaction since Qui-Gon was a man of few words and rarely, if ever, made small talk.
Coruscant was less then an hour away and before Obi-Wan had time to plan his evening they had landed. There was a transport waiting for him to take him to the Temple. Yoda was waiting for him as he entered the Great Hall. He had visited the Temple frequently since he became Qui-Gon’s padawan, but never without his Master. It had been some time since he was last there. However he felt - as usual - a great sense of belonging in the familiar surroundings. He bowed low to Master Yoda in greeting.
Yoda welcomed him just as he had when he first came to the Temple as a small child. ‘Far to come, far to go it is. Seek what you are looking for, you will. Find it here, you shall. Listen’. Obi-Wan remembered the fear he had felt all those years ago. Now he wasn’t frightened, he was just weary.
‘Contact Master Qui-Gon now, you will.’ Obi-Wan nodded. He had hoped to spend some time wandering about his favourite places, to go to the river and feel the water rush through his toes. It was not to be, it seemed. His stay was to be mapped out carefully. He followed the protocol droid to the room he had been assigned. He felt strange not staying in the chambers that he normally shared with Qui-Gon.
To his surprise they had given him his old room. It hadn’t changed much in the three years since he’d left it. But it was bare now. His three model Verpine fighters no longer droned near the ceiling and the study table was clear of the pile of books and charts that invariably sat there when he was younger. Here was the room he had spent many a happy time, but now he felt misplaced. He didn’t belong here anymore.
The hook where his lightsabre had hung was empty. Nowadays, he always slept with it within easy reach in case of intruders. He told himself that he wasn’t in any danger at the Temple, there was no need to keep it close to him. He opened his holdall and took out the weapon and hung it in the usual place on the wall. Looking at it hanging there, he forced himself to be honest. It wasn’t sentiment that made him put it on the wall it was his own sense of unworthiness.
Another protocol droid arrived with his supper. The message was clear, he was to remain in his room that night. He ate some of the food. It was as good as it always had been at the Temple but he couldn’t enjoy it because he knew he had to contact Qui-Gon. He decided that he had better speak to him now and be finished with it. Then, perhaps, he could enjoy his meal.
*******
Qui-Gon was quartered in a guest room at the Governor’s Palace. He looked
around at the beautiful furnishing in the well-proportioned room. For all its beauty
and comfort he could not find serenity there. It was less than an hour since he had
left Obi-Wan to continue his journey to the Temple. He had already contacted Yoda
and left a message for Obi-Wan to contact him as soon as he arrived. He was
expecting the call any moment.
Qui-Gon had failed the boy. He should never have let it come to this. Obi-Wan was an apt pupil, he was progressing well in his training and Qui-Gon was frequently impressed by the boy’s instincts and his aptitude to learn. He was a serious student. Probably a bit too serious. Nevertheless, he was becoming an excellent ambassador, his negotiation skills were well developed and his fighting skills were as good as any in his class. Qui-Gon had learned to trust him. No. It was more than trust, he had come to depend on him in battle. They had worked hard to improve their combined combat talents and now they were quite a formidable team. In truth, though, he depended on him for more than combat backup. Obi-Wan brought companionship. Qui-Gon was surprised by this feeling. He had travelled the Galaxy alone for years never needing a companion but in three short years he had grown dependent on the boy. He could travel alone again if necessary, he told himself. But he hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Obi-Wan had the potential to be a great Jedi Knight.
He had observed him closely since Bant’s death. He saw the immediate grief, the disbelief, the anger, the confusion, the doubt but he had been powerless to help. Several times he had tried to comfort the boy. Obi-Wan blocked him every time. The shutters came down and the shields went up, not even a laser cannon could have got though that armour. Qui-Gon had realised that it was useless to try. He would have to wait until the boy initiated the discussion himself. As yet, that hadn’t happened, he hoped the time for reflection at the Temple would act as a catalyst. Bring it all to a head.
Still, Obi-Wan was very self-willed, it was sometimes difficult to shift an idea once he got it into his head. There had been several instances where he and Qui-Gon had had a clash of wills but Obi-Wan had learned early in his apprenticeship to obey his Master’s command. It was a lesson that had not come easy to him and even now he sometimes struggled with orders, but he always complied.
When necessary, Qui-Gon did not have any misgivings about imposing his will upon the boy. He had made the mistake of not doing so with his last padawan. The consequences were disastrous and Qui-Gon was determined not to make the same mistake again. Perhaps he had been too hard on the boy, maybe he was making Obi-Wan suffer for the wrongdoings of another padawan. This was something he would have to watch in the future – if he got the chance. In any case, this was not the time to impose his will on the boy, only Obi-Wan could decide whether or not to continue his training. Qui-Gon wanted him to continue, but Qui-Gon’s wants were not important, the impelling force must come from Obi-Wan. This was one thing that Obi-Wan would have to work out for himself, but Qui-Gon was ready to help in any way he could, he hoped the boy would seek his counsel.
The communication console buzzed.
TBC
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