Title: Five Deaths to Die
By: Cassia
Email: cassia_a@hotmail.com
Category: Angst, Drama, Adventure, H/C, character torture... Did I mention ANGST?
Rating: PG 13 (violence, death)
Archive: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years & Quigonfic
Spoilers: Minor ones for the JA books
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars characters are the
exclusive property of George Lucas. All others belong to me.
I have no official permission to use these characters, but
I'm not being paid for it either, so that's okay.
Feedback: Yes Please!
Time Frame: 7 years before TMP. Obi-Wan is 18.
Summary: An enemy from Qui-Gon's past threatens to ruin his future. With Obi-Wan's life at stake, Qui-Gon must try to end the time-continuum he finds them both stuck in before it's too late. Will he succeed, or will he find himself facing a tomorrow without his Padawan?
ANGST ALERT! This story is a MAJOR tear-jerker. At least, I think so. I wrote parts of it with tears streaming down my face if that's any
indication... (pathetic, yes, I know)
It involves character torture and death (no, I'm not going to tell you
if they STAY dead, you'll have to read and find out for yourself).
but if this would in anyway upset, depress or generally bum you out,
stop now. Otherwise...
DAY FIVE:
Qui-Gon woke up long before the dawn and sat in a chair by Obi-Wan's bed, watching the young man sleep. He had the horrible feeling that this was the last time he was going to be able to do so.
Obi-Wan had grown so much from the sometimes awkward, but always eager child that he had met nearly five years ago, but he was still so young. Too young to die because of a dark enemy from his Master's past.
*"I don't want you to die for my mistakes Padawan,"* Qui-Gon agonized. *"I want to protect you, but I don't know how!"*
Morning came too soon. Much too soon for Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan found his Master strangely quite as they prepared for the day and when Qui-Gon looked at him, it seemed as if the older Jedi's eyes were haunted with a pain the apprentice did not understand.
"Master?" he ventured on the way to the Embassy. "Have I done something wrong?" Obi-Wan had noticed the way Qui-Gon kept looking at him and was beginning to think that there must be something amiss.
"No," Qui-Gon shook his head quickly. "No, Obi-Wan, you have done nothing wrong. You must forgive me, I am... troubled."
"I noticed. Do you want to tell me why?" the young Jedi asked sensitively.
Qui-Gon just sighed.
"Can I do anything?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.
"Just, be careful," Qui-Gon said at last. "I don't want to lose you Padawan," he said softly.
Obi-Wan laughed. "I'm not going anywhere Master!" he assured and Qui-Gon tried to smile back, but his heart was heavy.
Once again, the familiar string of events was evaded, the accident, the shooting, and this time, the terrorist take-over was prevented as well.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon sat through the ceremonies as Governor Naheel was sworn in as Malti-Venba's new Head-of- State. Afternoon shadows were lengthening when the two Jedi left the Embassy and Qui-Gon was beginning to hope that they were going to make it this time. His senses probed every corner before they turned it and he cross- examined every movement that stirred on their way back to the hotel.
Crossing the lobby they entered the lift shaft. Qui-Gon breathed a sigh of relief as he punched the button for the sixth floor. He could not wait for this day to be over. It had seemed years long to him.
The moment after the doors slid shut in front of them, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end at the sudden surge of trepidation that washed over him. It turned into a cold lump in his stomach as the elevator took them *down* instead of up.
"Master," Obi-Wan asked hesitantly. "Aren't we supposed to be going *up*?"
It was the last thing either of them remembered before a heavy stun beam radiated throughout the confined space, rendering both Jedi unconscious.
When Qui-Gon woke up, it felt as if a Bantha had stepped on his head. He tried to move but found that he was chained to the cold, damp wall behind him.
Obi-Wan hung next to him, still unconscious. He tried to probe, to see if the Padawan was all right, but he found only blankness. With a start he realized that he could not touch the Force. It was as if he were locked inside himself.
The door scraped open and several of their captors entered. Qui-Gon would have bet anything that they were Venbian loyalists. He would have won too.
"Wake him up," a tall man with a scar on his right cheek motioned towards Obi-Wan.
A shorter man touched the apprentice's bare side with a shock bar.
Obi-Wan jerked and moaned, rudely awakened from his stun-induced slumber.
"Okay," scar-face said, looking back and forth between the two Jedi. "Let's get down to business right away shall we? I need to know where the government is going to move the new munitions factory, and one of you are going to tell me. Are you going to cooperate, or are you going to make me get nasty?"
"Only the Governor and his council members would know that," Qui-Gon shook his head. "It was not discussed at the meeting and neither of us are privy to that information. You are wasting your time," Qui-Gon was actually able to tell the truth.
Scar-face scowled. "I have it from a very reliable source that it *was* discussed at the meeting. You want to be difficult about this? I can oblige." He twisted a cruel looking three-tongued device in his hands. "Who wants to go first?" He seemed to ponder for a moment before pointing at Obi-Wan. "Hmm, him I think," the man said casually. "Youth can sometimes be weakness. Either for him, or for you," Scar-face said pointedly to Qui-Gon as his men unchained Obi-Wan from the wall and switched him to a set in the middle of the chamber.
Qui-Gon pulled against his bonds ineffectually as they clapped Obi-Wan into a set of chains that held his arms crossed at the wrist in front of him.
"Perhaps he will tell me, or perhaps you will for his sake, it makes no difference," Scar-face said in an overly cheerful voice. He was obviously enjoying this.
"There is nothing to tell!" Qui-Gon protested vehemently, trying to make his words carry into the Venbian's mind, only to find once more that he could not get past whatever was blocking him.
"Ah, now, none of your tricks!" Scar-face said. "Do you think I am stupid enough to attempt to take a pair of Jedi prisoner and not take some precautions?" the man shook his head. "Your powers will not work in this room Jedi, my pretty pets here assure that," the man reached through the bars of it's cage and petted the neck of one of the Yslami that Qui-Gon now realized surrounded the room.
"You cannot use them on us, and you cannot use them to help yourselves. One last chance before I start on the boy, are either of you going to tell me?" he asked, holding the multi-pronged device ready in his hand, taking his place behind Obi-Wan.
"We cannot divulge what we do not know," Obi-Wan shook his head. Squashing the tremors of fear that tried to clutch at his heart.
"Have it your way," Scar-face shrugged, raising his device and letting it fall sharply across Obi-Wan's back and shoulders.
Obi-Wan tensed, but remained still. Of course, the chains on his wrists made sure of that anyway. The Padawan bit his lip as the Venbian continued to flail him. Fiery tendrils of pain crisscrossed his shoulders and each cruel touch of his torturer's many-tentacled device added three new ribbons of agony to the unfortunate young Jedi's hurting body.
Obi-Wan stifled a cry, determined to take this in silence. The device being used on him was insidious. It's three tentacles resembled the thongs of a whip, only they were soft, almost gelatinous. Whatever the substance was that it was made of burned like fire upon contact with the apprentice's skin. The harder the man behind Obi-Wan struck him with it, the worse it hurt.
Obi-Wan grit his teeth hard, the pain wracking his body. Twisting his wrists in the tight, iron cuffs that held his arms crossed in front of him, Obi-Wan attempted to bring the Force to bear on his chains, but found that Scar- face was unfortunately telling the truth when he said that they could not touch the Force here. He was cut off from it, and he was on his own to withstand this torment.
The Venbian struck him a particularly savage blow and Obi-Wan moaned softly between his teeth. Clamping his lips shut tight, Obi-Wan resisted the urge to do that again. He *would* be silent. He would not cry out. He would not do that to Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon struggled against the chains that held him until his wrists bled, but it did no good. He could not get free. He was forced to stand there against the wall, forced to watch as the merciless man tortured his apprentice.
The Jedi Master's heart throbbed as raw as his wrists. Cut off from the Force as they were, he could not feel his Padawan's pain, but he could see Obi-Wan jerk as the blows fell and hear the silent hiss of the air between his teeth. He could see the nasty red welts beginning to spread across Obi-Wan's young back and the agonized tension in his shoulders. Yes, Qui-Gon could see the pain, which the apprentice was trying valiantly to hide, and it broke his heart.
Scar-face beat Obi-Wan until the young Jedi's blood ran, then he changed methods, stabbing tiny needles into precise points on Obi-Wan's body he sent horrible jolts of pain through them that made the boy convulse spasmodically.
Through it all, Obi-Wan remained stoically silent. But as the hours dragged by and the torture grew more and more intense Obi-Wan started making sounds he couldn't help.
Scar-face was no longer amused, now he was growing annoyed, and as he did, his methods of torture became increasingly brutal and damaging. Obi-Wan should have passed out hours ago, only the stim-shots they kept giving him kept him alert enough to continue receiving the cruel treatment. It was dangerous to administer more than two stim's every four hours. Obi-Wan had had over six already.
When the pain finally broke Obi-Wan to screaming, Qui- Gon thought he was going to die. Each anguished cry from his apprentice stabbed straight through his heart like a vibro-shiv, ripping it to shreds.
"Stop it!" Qui-Gon cried in anguish. "If I knew, don't you think I'd tell you, just to put an end to this?" he half-shouted when he could take Obi-Wan's screams no longer.
"I don't know what you'd do Jedi, so until I hear what I want to hear, I'm going to do whatever I please, got it?" Scar-face threatened, jerking Obi-Wan's limp head up by his hair.
Obi-Wan's throat was raw from screaming and his voice hoarse. He dangled from the chains in a terrible half- consciousness. His body could not take much more and he knew it. After this, death would almost seem a release.
He felt Scar-face jab a needle into his arm, only this time it was an injection. *"Mind drugs,"* was all Obi-Wan had a chance to think before his thoughts scattered and his mind started whirling dizzily under the effects of the drug.
Obi-Wan had resisted mind probes before, but it was not even a matter of resisting this time. He knew nothing of value to his captors. He had nothing to betray.
"The munitions factory, where is it to be?"
Obi-Wan's pale face wrinkled in confusion. "I don't know..." he mumbled hoarsely.
Scar-face struck him with a shock-bar, making Obi-Wan cry out.
"No more games, where is it?!"
Obi-Wan shook his head vigorously, his eyes blank and distant due to the drug in his system. "I don't know."
Scar-face's lips clamped tightly shut. There was no way in the boy's condition, and without the use of his precious Force powers, that Obi-Wan should be able to resist the effects of the truth serum, yet he still told them nothing. The Venbian began to doubt whether the Jedi knew after all, and that thought made him angry. He did not like to think that he had wasted his time here.
"Double the injection," he ordered one of his men, holding out his hand to receive the hypo. Qui-Gon's eyes grew large in horror. "You can't do that! You'll kill him! He doesn't know! He has nothing to tell you, can't you see that?!" the Jedi demanded.
Scar-face just glared at Qui-Gon coldly. "If he truly doesn't know, then he's of no use to me anyway," the Venbian said heartlessly, pressing the hypo against Obi- Wan's shoulder and flooding his system with a deadly dose of the potent drug.
Obi-Wan sobbed for breath as the drug raged through his system, disrupting his normal body functions.
"Where are the munitions factories!" Scar-face nearly roared.
"I don't know, I don't know," Obi-Wan moaned, beginning to tremble uncontrollably. He gave a gasping cry as the drug wreaked havoc on his body. "Oh God, I don't know!" he cried desperately.
Scar-face shook his head, at last convinced that the boy truly did not know. He had made a mistake. A costly one for all involved.
"Unchain them, lock them up in one of the holding cells. I'll decide what to do with them tomorrow," the Venbian declared, stalking away disgustedly.
Obi-Wan had to be carried out of the room.
It was dark in the cell when the door slammed shut, but there was still enough light for Qui-Gon to see the extent of the horrendous damage that had been done to Obi- Wan's young body.
The Jedi Master's heart felt as heavy as a lead balloon as he once more found himself holding his bloody apprentice in his arms. This could not be! He would not accept it!
Obi-Wan was shaking; his body trembling uncontrollably from the drug over-dose that had been forced upon him. The apprentice's mind was still hazy and he was only half- there.
Even without the Force, Qui-Gon knew his Padawan was dying. Only this time, there would be no tomorrow for them to be together again. Qui-Gon had failed for the last time.
Rylos had known all along, Qui-Gon realized bitterly. This was no fair contest; the Dacca had stacked the deck all the way along. He never intended to let Qui-Gon beat him at his own games, he merely wanted to torture the Jedi by forcing him to watch Obi-Wan die five deaths, each crueler than the last.
Well, he had succeeded. Rylos could have devised no more cruel punishment than this, no better way to break Qui-Gon's heart.
"Master," Obi-Wan moaned softly, his voice shaky and raw. "Master!" he held onto Qui-Gon with trebling hands. "Don't leave me Master," he begged softly. "I can't do this alone... don't want to be alone..." Obi-Wan was mumbling incoherently, still under the effects of the mind drug.
"I won't leave you Obi-Wan. I promise, I'm right here," Qui-Gon soothed, tears gathering in the corners of his weathered blue eyes.
"But they sent me away," Obi-Wan murmured sadly. "You didn't want me, nobody wanted me..." the drug had left Obi- Wan's soul wide open to all his worst memories, all the things that had ever hurt him.
Qui-Gon's heart tightened painfully. He knew what Obi-Wan was talking about.
"Obi-Wan," he said hoarsely, shaking his head, but Obi-Wan did not stop.
"Then, then you didn't want me back..." Obi-Wan's voice was plaintive and distant.
Qui-Gon pressed his fingers gently to Obi-Wan's lips. "Shh, Shh," he hushed quietly. "That was a long time ago Obi-Wan, and it was never *you* I didn't want. Taking you as Padawan was the *best* thing I ever did, and I haven't regretted it for a moment," he assured tenderly.
"I know," Obi-Wan whispered softly. "I know, Master, I-I just can't seem to control... don't know what I'm saying..." for a moment there was a flicker of clarity in Obi-Wan's eyes, then they clouded again and a look of pain crossed his face. "Don't know..." he mumbled. "Don't know! I don't know! Leave me alone!" he thrashed deliriously, reliving the torment that Scar-face had put him through.
Qui-Gon held him tightly until the fit passed and he could see a touch of Obi-Wan behind the Padawan's glazed blue eyes again.
"Sorry..." Obi-Wan apologized weakly, miserably. "So sorry Master... I wanted to, to be silent. Didn't want to let them make me... Didn't want to hurt you..."
"Obi-Wan, you didn't hurt me," Qui-Gon's voice shook. "You don't need to apologize, you were very brave. I'm the one who's sorry! I failed you Obi-Wan. I failed you."
Tears slid silently down Qui-Gon's cheeks, falling down to mingle with Obi-Wan's blood. "I wanted so badly to save you, I was desperate to save you!" Qui-Gon shook his head in misery. "I'm sorry Padawan, I am so sorry!" he whispered, his voice choked with the sorrow that devoured him.
"D-don't cry Master," Obi-Wan brushed Qui-Gon's face with trembling fingertips. "Not your fault." The young Jedi smiled wanly. "I guess, guess I'm going to have to go after all Master," he coughed weakly. "But don't grieve, you haven't lost me... it's - it's just going to be awhile - awhile 'til we see each other again."
Obi-Wan knew how deeply losing Xanatos had scarred Qui-Gon's sensitive heart. He did not want his death to do the same thing that Xanatos' betrayal had. "Please, Master, for me... Don't - don't be afraid to - to take another Padawan," Obi-Wan gasped. The apprentice's breathing was racing rapidly out of control, making his injured chest heave painfully and his already blurry vision swim. "Somewhere out there, there's another very lucky child for you, who needs you like I did..."
Qui-Gon wanted to scream that he would never, ever take another Padawan. He would never open himself to such heartbreak again. But for Obi-Wan's sake he did not.
"I don't want another Padawan Obi-Wan," he choked out instead. "I want you. I need you. There's so much I never told you, so much I thought we would have time to do together... I love you Obi-Wan. I've never said that to you, but I do! I love you," Qui-Gon whispered, his heart breaking.
Obi-Wan smiled, somewhat dreamily. "I know. You didn't have to say, you said it by your actions..." the boy coughed, his already white face going a shade paler. "I love you too Master, and I always will." Obi-Wan searched weakly for Qui-Gon's hand. When Qui-Gon gave it to him, Obi-Wan entwined their fingers and squeezed the Jedi Master's big hand as hard as his shaking body and failing strength allowed him to.
"We will always be together," the Padawan whispered softly.
A spasm seized Obi-Wan and he tensed, moaning quietly.
"Master," he choked softly, nearly sobbing in pain. All Qui-Gon could do was hold Obi-Wan, hold him and weep.
"It hurts Master..." Obi-Wan was sliding towards delirium again, his fingers tightening around Qui-Gon's, his other hand clutching at the Master's arm. "It hurts so bad..."
Without the Force, Qui-Gon could not even ease his dying apprentice's pain. This was what Rylos had meant about it being worse. Qui-Gon didn't want this to be the way it stood for all eternity. Did not want Obi-Wan to die such a horrible death, but there was nothing he could do to about it.
Swaying gently back and forth, Qui-Gon rocked Obi-Wan in his lap like a little child who was afraid of the dark. With no other comfort to give the dying teenager, Qui-Gon started singing a soft Twi'Lek lullaby that he had learned years ago from a little girl on a sun-kissed world far away from this dark place.
Obi-Wan had never heard his Master sing before and it had a soothing effect on him. As the soft, strange words of the alien lullaby filled the small chamber, Obi-Wan relaxed in Qui-Gon's arms and his breathing slowed. Qui- Gon's voice cracked with emotion, but it seemed to help Obi-Wan, so he kept singing.
When you open your eyes
The darkness will flee.
And as the night dies
I'll see you smile at me."
Tears rolling down the big Jedi's cheeks, he clutched the lifeless boy to his chest and choked out the last line of the lullaby around the huge, raw lump that had formed in his throat.
Somewhere outside the last rays of the setting sun sank below the horizon, plunging Malti-Venba into a night almost as black as the one that Qui-Gon felt surrounding his soul. The fifth day ended and it was over.
This time there was no waking, no reprove. Obi-Wan was gone for good and a large part of Qui-Gon's heart had died with him.
Qui-Gon had no idea how long he sat in stunned, heart- broken silence, holding Obi-Wan for the last time, but it must have been nearly morning when a movement to his right made him raise his blood-shot eyes.
One word echoed through the Jedi's stupefied, grieving brain.
*Rylos.*
Rylos looked down upon the pair in grim satisfaction. He looked more solid, more corporal this time than he had on any of their previous encounters.
"Game over Jinn, you lose," Rylos said with a smile. "I guess you've failed him for the last time. Oh, I brought you something," the Dacca smirked, dropping Obi- Wan's lightsaber carelessly on top of the deceased young Jedi. "Tell me, will this burn with rest of his pitiful body?" Rylos mocked cruelly.
It was a challenge and Qui-Gon knew it. Rylos was tempting him, but right now he didn't care. Blind with grief, Qui-Gon grabbed the weapon and leaped to his feet, feeling an incredible rage and hatred swell up inside of him. Sheer hate pounded in his veins and pulsed in his temples as the blue blade sprung to life in his grip.
Rylos was making no move to stop the angry Jedi, no motion to defend himself. It would be so easy for Qui-Gon to cut the sneering Dacca in half. So easy...
The soft blue glow of Obi-Wan's lightsaber in his hands brought Qui-Gon back to his senses. *What was he doing?!* Giving into his hate this way would neither bring Obi-Wan back, nor honor his memory.
He was a Jedi, and to kill Rylos in anger, no matter what the Dacca had done, would destroy him. It would turn him to the Dark Side and Evil would devour him.
His body trembling with the depth of the emotions he was feeling, Qui-Gon flicked the blade off. For a moment, only the sound of his own ragged breathing filled the small room.
"Get out of here Rylos," Qui-Gon said at last, his voice raspy, but no longer filled with hate. Now there was only heartbreak and pain in his deep blue eyes as the Jedi Master sunk down again, beside the still body of his former Padawan.
Qui-Gon gently folded Obi-Wan's lifeless hands around the handle of his lightsaber, letting it rest on the boy's cold chest. "You've done your job," he said sadly, gazing down at Obi-Wan's pale face as he spoke. "Revenge is yours. You can hurt me no worse; nothing you could do could hurt me any more than you already have. Let the dead rest in peace now Dacca. I never want to see you again." Qui-Gon did not look at Rylos, but continued to stare down at Obi-Wan's body with eyes that could only look back, and remember what had been.
Rylos stared at the Jedi in puzzled shock. He knew Qui-Gon had wanted to kill him, he had been driving him to do it, but he *hadn't*. "You wanted to kill me Jedi, why didn't you?" the Dacca asked in confusion.
"I am a Jedi," Qui-Gon said hoarsely, looking up at Rylos with pain-filled eyes. "Despite what you think I did all those years ago, Jedi do not kill for revenge. We cannot, it is wrong. I wanted to kill you, yes, but it would not have been right to do so, just because I wanted to. I *loved* Obi-Wan, Rylos. What kind of honor would I be paying him if I let his death destroy me? He would not wish it, I do not wish it," Qui-Gon answered with numb conviction.
Qui-Gon's answer shook Rylos to the core of his being. If what the Jedi said was true, then it was not possible for Qui-Gon to have killed Benthon for revenge back on Aminorthini, and if that were not possible, then it might mean that Benthon had, in fact, been the perpetrator of everything the Jedi claimed he had been. Rylos shook his head. It could not be true. It could not!
But it had to be true. He had given Qui-Gon far more compelling reason than Benthon had for the Jedi to want him dead, but Qui-Gon had stayed his hand, even while his beloved apprentice's body grew cold on the floor below them. Qui-Gon had not struck. He was not guilty.
"I was wrong about you Jinn," Rylos said slowly. "And I was wrong about Benthon," the Dacca's voice was soft and sad. Rylos understood now why his people had the laws they did. It was too easy for the Dacca to play God in people's lives and hand out judgement as they saw fit, but they did not always see everything. "I see now, that it was as you said. I'm sorry, sorry for everything," Rylos apologized stiffly. The door to the cell swung open. "You are free to go Jinn, but better go slowly," the Dacca said, a strange, almost soft smile spreading over his face. "There's someone here who'll need your help." With that, Rylos dematerialized, vanishing for the last time.
Qui-Gon was glad that the Dacca finally accepted the truth, but did not understand what he had meant by that last statement...
A movement below him made Qui-Gon start.
Obi-Wan stirred, one hand tightening on the hilt of the lightsaber Qui-Gon had placed on his chest, and the other going to his head. *"Ohhh..."* the boy moaned softly.
Qui-Gon's heart swelled with hope. "Obi-Wan?" he asked, barely daring to dream...
"Master?" Obi-Wan asked groggily. "Where are we? I feel *terrible*!"
"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon exclaimed in joy, hugging the boy tightly.
"Oh! Ow! Ouch! Easy, please!" Obi-Wan gasped as Qui- Gon's strong embrace scrunched his sore body. The life- threatening injuries were gone, but he had still been pretty well worked-over.
Qui-Gon eased up, but he was still smiling. Helping Obi-Wan to his feet and supporting the unsteady teenager with an arm around his shoulders Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan walk out as they made good their escape.
**************
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