TITLE: JA #6 - Final Peace (2/?)
AUTHOR: Laheara, heather.lively@ns.sympatico.ca
ARCHIVE: Early Years, Temple Library, Padawan Journals, StarCheer, anyone else just ask me
ERA: "Jedi Apprentice" period, Obi-Wan is 13
RATING: PG (major angst)
SPOILERS: Refers to all 5 books in "Jedi Apprentice"
SUMMARY: My version of the second chapter or so of the new JA book coming out in January
FEEDBACK: YES, please. Should I write more? Thanks to my beta readers.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the SW characters (i.e.:
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan) George does. To bad really, I'd have fun making them miserable.
JA #6 - Final Peace,
Part 2
Running down the path back to Zehava Obi-Wan remembered seeing the battle taking place inside Qui-Gon. The empty hurt look in his eyes he had tried not to show before he turned around to hide it. He knew just how deeply he had hurt the man. It was like Xanatos all over again. But....
....He left without even looking Obi-Wan in the eye. Obi-Wan stopped on the path near a haggard looking tree with a rock beside it. He brushed the rock for a second with his hand and sat down, pulling one foot up in front of him and leaned on the tree. When comfortable he returned to his reflection of the last few hours.
What Obi-Wan had said about finding something here worth dying for was correct. It was very possible that he *would* die here, with Cerasi and Nield and the other children.
Had he hurt, or angered, Qui-Gon that much? That he didn't even want an image of the Obi-Wan he had known, to take with him, after the boy himself was dead. Qui-Gon understood the dangerous situation here, and know the changes of survival were slim if the Elders didn't cone to their senses.
Obi-Wan had stopped halfway from the city walls. He look forward at what he knew to be beyond them. He remembered the Jedi and felt his new found conviction wavering again.
It seemed almost unreal watching the fighter lifting off with him not inside. Feeling the dust cloud brush back at him, and... Obi-Wan could feel that he had hurt Qui-Gon very deeply. But still, not as much as he'd expected because of the walls his Master had up from the ordeals with Xanatos.
Obi-Wan stopped himself, he wasn't Qui-Gon's padawan anymore. He had given up the title, and that honor when he pulled his weopon on the man. He'd given the stone, his padawan present, and his lightsaber back and told Qui-Gon to leave without him.
It still seemed unreal that he had complied. What was he going to do now? All he'd ever wanted to be was a Jedi, now that future was closed to him, **forever**. What had he done? He should not have acted in such haste. But....
Qui-Gon never wanted another apprentice in the first place. So... in a way.... by leaving.... he was freeing him from that burden.
Obi-Wan had really hoped that eventually his master would have open up to him. Let him help to heal the scars that Xanatos had left behind. Obi-Wan really thought he could help Qui-Gon through that. Qui-Gon had saved him from a life as a farmer. So, for that, he owed him a thanks.
But could that simple wish to help, be enough to break through the years of defences the man had built against the outside world? The fear of being hurt and betrayed again. Obi-Wan found himself remembering a lesson from the Temple.
*******
Master Yoda's sleepy green eyes looking up at a small 5 year boy sitting near the river in the Temple meditation gardens. Obi-Wan knew those eyes like he would his own name. The small master was the closest thing he ever had to a real father. Yoda was that to all the students, so his years served him well.
Even on the grass Obi-Wan could hear the gentle thumping of Yoda's gimer stick. When beside the boy he softly sat down, and looked at the water caually passing by. "Much confusion I sense in you young one. Questions unanswered you have?" he asked. The brillant full moon overhead made him seem 3 times bigger.
Still looking at his feet and unhappy expression on his small features Obi-Wan smirked, "I'm confused about what happened to me on our trip this weekend. The masters took us to swim in the oceans on Aldaraan." Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose in frustration, "I couldn't make myself go in. I've never had any problems swimming with Bant and Reeft and Garen in the Temple pools or this river. Why couldn't it do it there?" as asked looked sideways to the small green Master, his blue-green eyes slightly moist.
The innocent question made Yoda smile with pure admiration, "Hmm. Forget I do sometimes how young and sheltered you children are," Yoda remarked. He signaled for the boy to lean with him over the river edge.
"What see you in that water?" Yoda asked pointed down.
Obi-Wan unfolded his legs and repositioned himself on his knees, leaning a little further over, "The same things that are always in it. The purifiers, the rocks at the bottom, and then the floor under them. And the odd fish."
Smiling Yoda agrees, "Exactly, what you said. Always there are they, the same. Expect to sink below and feel these same things each time you do. The same it is with the pools. No surprises are there in this place."
Obi-Wan pushed himself back to a kneeling position still feeling confused. "I don't see why not knowing what to expect would make me scared," Obi-Wan asked again.
"Fear the unknown every living thing does, young Kenobi. No different are you then they," the small Master stepped closer to the boy now. "Going back to Alderaan is your class?" he asked.
"Yes, we're leaving at the end of next week," Obi-Wan replied.
"Good this is. Listen. When arrive at the ocean you will do. Wait not. Walk into the waters you will. Have friends with you you may. But stop not when tell you to run away your mind does not. Only then defeated will this fear be," the master said stepping away.
Obi-Wan was beyond shock. He had tried to go in for 20 minutes and finally just sat on the beach waiting for his friends to come back. "I won't be able to do it, I know I won't."
Yoda's little green eyes widened and the small body stretched up, "Do it you will." Yoda curled his long pointed ears and said in a calmer tone, "To win over fear only one thing is there to do Obi-Wan. Face it you must. Only then free of it will you be."
******
Obi-Wan remembered so many of Yoda's lessons with fondness. But that one had helped him a number of times since that day. It helped him stay calm on Gala when he was taken by the Syndicate guards to have his memory wiped. And again on Bandomeer when he overcame his fear of death and trusted in the Force to save him, somehow, from the fall into the ocean.
Now he was facing a very different kind of fear. One on many separate fronts. The Young feared their Elders were destroying the planet so there would be nothing left for them. And the Elders feared loosing control to their children. No one trusted anyone else. This had become a world of fear and Obi-Wan wasn't sure if there was any way to turn it back again. That is, if they didn't all kill each other first.
At the thought Obi-Wan remembered why he had come back here. It was to get the starfighter to save the children being bombed in the city centre. Recollecting himself he realized with some pleasure his little rememberance hadn't taken more then a few minutes. There was still time to do something.
At this he stood up, hooked his arm around the tree to change direction and quickly headed back. The entrance to the tunnels on the outside of the city walls was close. Once inside he made good time getting back to the bunker.
As he entered Neild walked over quickly, an annoyed look on his face, "Why didn't you bring back the starfighter? We have to help those children up there."
"I couldn't. Qui-Gon got there first," Obi-Wan answered in a flat tone. "He made me choose. I could go with him then, or I could stay here with you. I stayed and he left."
Cerasi had overheard the explaination on her way over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm so sorry Obi-Wan," she hugged him. "I know what being a Jedi means to you."
"I'm sorry too. We never should have asked you to do it twice. It was selfish of us," Nield tried to make amends.
"Yes it was. But you were also right. It could have helped us. We'll just have to think of something else," he suggested.
His new friends nodded together. The three picked up weopons walked out to the tunnels and followed them up to the where the attack was happening, followed by a number of other children.
There was debris everywhere. Children were buried under parts of walls blown atop them. Others were pinned down by huge pieces of glass and rocks. The sound was deafening. Which was good, seeing as it drown out most of the cries.
"We need a plan, fast!" Nield yelled to the others.
"What can we do, they'll kill us too! The main reason our attacks worked before was we had the element of surprise," Obi-Wan pointed out.
"We have to get everyone out of here and back into the tunnels. Spread everyone out below out. Everywhere there's a way to the surface get someone there to direct the children still alive down," Cerasi yelled at the child who acted as the messager from the three leaders. The child took off back into the tunnels to relay the message.
"That will work if we can get the attention of those starfighters away from the escape routes," Nield pointed out.
"That's what we're here for," Cerasi remarked.
Nield and Obi-Wan both looked at her, "What do you mean?" Nield asked.
"Only the older children can carry weapons big enough to get their attention. We draw the fire away from the escapers," Cerasi informed them.
They had to admit, she had a point. And now there were lots of large weapons laying in the open fields. If they could get out there and grab a few of those dropped, it may work.
Then the signal came that the children were ready to start pulling others into the tunnels. Nield and Obi-Wan waved to some older children near by and told them Cerasi's plan. Any other children left out there would figure it out soon enough and help if they could.
Nield, Obi-Wan, Cerasi and some other older teens pulled their weapons and Nield yelled to run.
They ran out firing at the snipers as cover. When each of them reached a rocket launcher, or other large weapons they picked them up, ran for cover and began firing at the sky. Nield, Cerasi and Obi-Wan each took an area where there was an exit to the tunnels and yelled to the younger ones to run for them.
As was expected, the other older children followed the lead as the younger ones ran for the tunnels. It was working for the minute only because the pilots hadn't figured out what was happening yet. That would change as they saw fewer and fewer targets.
After about a minute the pilots saw what was going on and began targeting the older children. One by one they took out the resistance. Finally the Young were down to just 5 cover zones left and Obi-Wan gave the order to fall back to the tunnels.
Just as they ran for the exit a fighter came in and shot at Obi-Wan and Cerasi. Obi-Wan felt it coming in the Force and pulled her to the side. The blast hit the ground about 4 meters from them. Dirt and glass sprayed up and covered them both cutting into thier skin. Nield shot at the starfighter and ran back and as Obi-Wan was pulling Cerasi up and they all jumped into the tunnels together.
Jumping down the opening into the tunnels they could still hear blaster fire bounding above. Take a quick inventory of children they headed toward the bunker a few levels away. It was deeper underground and safer.
Reaching the relative safety of their base of operations everyone slumped against the walls and on the floors. Many were bleeding, other were being carried in... and other still were being carried out.
Cerasi noticed Obi-Wan crash to the floor holding his head and ran over, "Obi-Wan, are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine, just tired," he answered.
Cerasi pulled his hand away and saw a deep cut in his face reaching from just below his cheek to his temple, and there was still glass in it. "No you're not. Cori! Bring me one of the med kits, Obi-Wan is hurt."
Quickly a small girl, in a ragged red jumpsuit no more then seven, ran over holding a small orange kit in her bloody hands. Obi-Wan looked up, wincing, to see her approach. She was to young to be seeing things like this. She should she be somewhere playing with a soft and **safe** baby animal, not cleaning blood off of the floor and her friends.
"You were right beside me, how did this happen?" Cerasi asked worried. She touched the cut with disinfectant and Obi-Wan flinced, hiting the floor with his hand.
"I looked back to see the little kids were getting out ok and a torpedo blew just a few meters away. I got a piece of something in the face. I used the Force to keep you from noticing, it would have distracted you," he explained.
His innocent concern for her warmed her heart, "You're sweet Obi, but don't do that again. We just have to look out for each other more closely." Obi-Wan smiled even as Cerasi pulled the glass out and touched the disinfectant on his cut again.
"I know it wasn't that good of a comment. Why do you look so happy?" Cerasi asked with a funny smile on her face.
Obi-Wan shrugged, but she nodded for him to tell her what he was thinking. "It's just that.... Qui-Gon sometimes called me Obi when we laughing about something, mostly something funny we saw Master Yoda do."
Cerasi fixed a small bandage over the cut and sat down next to her friend, folding her legs under her. Looking straight forward, "You miss him, don't you?"
The serious question broke Obi-Wan from his happy memories of Temple life. Then he remembered the look on Qui-Gon's face as he had left and looked at the floor. The sinking feeling in the pit of his consciousness, that had started when he watched that ship leave, became a little deeper.
"I guess I do," he said looking at his boots. "He was good to me, he never really opened up, but he did give me little glimpses into his mind. I guess I just miss the feeling of being connected to someone. The Master_Padawan bond is very stronge, nothing can compare to it."
Cerasi nodded with a sigh, "You're feeling lonely."
Obi-Wan thought for a moment, "Yes, I guess that does explain how I feel."
"We've all felt it here. We believed the only way to save our world was to separate from our parents. A lot of the little ones still call their parents names at night when they wake up from a bad dream. I still think of my father, I know Nield thinks of his mother."
Obi-Wan looked at her in surprise, "He does? He seemed so hostle towards those memories when we heard the story in the Hall of Evidence."
"He is very hostle toward what they did and why they did it. But they were still his parents," she pointed out nodding in Nield's direction.
Nield walked across the room to talk to another member of the Young about what ammunition was left. He seemed to be covering something on his wrist.
"Did you see that?" Cerasi nodded toward his wrist.
"Yes, I saw a flash of something before he pulled his sleeve down," Obi-Wan observed.
Cerasi nodded and smiled as Obi-Wan looked back at her questioning, "That's how I know he still thinks of his mother. He was covering up a braclet that he's had for as long as I've know him. It was his mother's. When they came to say she was dead, it was the only thing of hers they brought back. It had her blood on and he still hasn't cleaned it out of the crevises."
Understanding now, Obi-Wan added, "He wouldn't keep it if some part of him didn't still love her."
"You see, we're not that hard to understand," Cerasi said, smile gleaming in her eyes. "I just wish your Master could have seen us the way you do."
"I do too," he said remembering the man he knew he would never see again. "I hope he gets over me quickly. I wouldn't want to cause him the same pain Xanatos did."
"Who?" Cerasi asked.
Remembering that she didn't know that story, he explained, "It's a long story. Xanatos was Qui-Gon's apprentice before me. They were together for a long time, then he turned to the Dark Side, and left the Order. It really hurt Qui-Gon."
"Oh! So that's why he was always so distant and mean to you," Cerasi said seeming to be putting pieces of a puzzle together in her head.
"What do you mean?" Obi-Wan asked having lost her train of thought and turning towards her.
"Well, you've been telling me about how stronge the bond between teacher and student is among the Jedi, but I never really saw that between you. At least not from his end. You always seemed to be wanted to please him, but he seemed so... reserved toward you. Like if he got too close you'd bite him."
"Yes, I've noticed it for a long time. The last time I contacted the Temple I mentioned it to Master Yoda. He said wounds like that take time to heal, and that I just had to be patient and let him adjust to me." Obi-Wan raised a knee and put his elbow on it holding his head with his right hand. "I knew I wasn't what he wanted in a new apprentice, he'd turned me down before, so I took it as a trade off. I give him time to heal, and try to help, knowing that he had to put up with me. I've followed his career since I first saw him at the Temple, and the way people acted around him. Did you know he's one of the greatest swordman to pace through the Temple in almost 600 years. Everyone respects him. Even other Masters use him as an example to their students. And he does what the Force tells him is right, sometimes going against the Council to do it. That's why I wanted him to choose me. He's everything I **want** to be in a Jedi and in a person."
Cerasi looked away thinking, 'he still admires Qui-Gon even after all this'. Then pointed out, "You said 'want to be', not wanted. You think your decision to stay here was a mistake and want a second chance." She seemed sad, but understanding. "I felt the same way after I left my father to come down here. Maybe if I'd gone back things could have been different, but I never had the chance."
Looking up at the ceiling, Obi-Wan sighed deeply, "Maybe I do think it was a mistake. But like you, I don't have a chance to change my mind. He was so hurt by Xanatos and now me, he'll never give me another chance. And after what I did out there before he left.... the Council wouldn't give me one either. So I'm trapped here," the last few words coming out choked.
Cerasi could tell by his manner that now was not the time to ask what he'd done. She just moved closer and put her arm around him, placing her head on his shoulder for support. "I'm sorry we did this to you."
"You didn't do this to me, I did it to myself," he said resting his head against the wall behind him.
After sitting there for a few minutes, Obi-Wan leaned his head forward to see what the noise he had just heard in the hallway was. He saw Cori struggling to get a bunch of bandages almost as tall as she was into the room to give to the children helping the injured. Cerasi raised her head and followed his line of view. He stood up to walk over and help Cori, but reached for the wall to balance himself as his head started spinning.
Cerasi stood up quickly putting her arm around his waist for balance, "Easy, you're going to need time to let that heal. It was pretty deep."
"I know, I shouldn't have stood that fast. I'm going to help Cori get that in here. She looks a little overwhelmed," he said nodding toward the child.
"Like I said, you're sweet Obi-Wan," she said as he walked away. He looked back and smiled a thank you to her. "Maybe a little too sweet to let Qui-Gon hurt you the way he did."
Cerasi reached inside her pocket and looked down at the recorder sitting in her hand with the record light still blinking. "Maybe this will help ease things over between you two." She hit replay to make sure the little device had gotten everything said. When she was satisfied it was all there she left the common room for the armory.
Arriving at the cluttered room she was easily admitted by the two boys on watch. All the children knew her, and Obi-Wan and Neild. Cerasi pushed the heavy metal door open with a metal shrieking sound and went inside.
"I know we have a message bouy launcher here somewhere," she said digging through the pieces of thier recently acquired arsenal. When she found the small cylindrical device, she set it in on a near-by tripod and recorded a message:
"Master Qui-Gon, I know I'm likely the last person you want to see right now. But I feel it necessary as Obi-Wan's friend to inform you of how he feels now that you've left. I'm including on a sub frequency a conversation I had with him a few moments ago. I know he hurt you by leaving, but you had also hurt him. Please listen to this recording before you decide once and for all that you will not come back for him. He misses you. And he still admires you, and speaks highly of your reputation. Please don't let him die in our war believing he had failed you. His decision to help us has cost him a terrible personal price. The danger here is **very** real. While saving the other children during the recent attack, he was injured. Not seriously, but I don't want it to have to come to that. As his friend I thought you should know. Thank you for your time and I **hope** to see you again soon."
Cerasi hit the button again to stop the recording. She took a small data disk from her recorded and linked it in the launcher's system to be send with the message. Hooking the small device onto her belt she stood up and walked toward the door. She would launch it as soon as she could get away and safely reach the surface. Heading back toward the control bunker she heard excited voices and quickened her pace.
Arriving at the bunker she saw a large new pile of medical supplies spread across the table and floor.
Nield looked very pleased and walked over to ask him, "Where did all those come from?"
"One of our scavenger teams legnthened an old tunnel out to the Daan infirmary. They came through the ground, took out the guards, and took everything they could carry," he replied still taking in their loot.
Becoming suddenly concerned Cerasi pointed out, "We have to be careful where we lengthen the tunnels to now. Since the Elders know of their existance now, they will be looking. If they find even one of them, it's all over for us. And we lose the advantage these passages give us."
Putting his hands on Cerasi's shoulders to calm her down, Nield says slowly, "I know that Cerasi. But this was important. We have a lot of injured kids here, and they needed supplies to recover. We wouldn't do it often of course."
Looking away for a minute to relax, Cerasi looked back calmer, "I know you won't. I just don't want anything else to go wrong. I'm sorry I yelled."
"It's ok. Everyone is a little on edge since that last attack. It's alright," he said putting an arm around her shoulder. "Let's go help some kids, Obi-Wan is making us look bad. He's already on his fifth."
Cerasi smiled at her friend, and looked over to Obi-Wan going to join him.
******
In The Melida headquarters the council was still mulling over what they were going to do about the Young. Having most of the weapons from each side lost or destroyed it did give each side a tacticle disadvantage. But with emergency supply ports outside the city bringing in more as they spoke things were gradually returning to normal. Or as normal as this kind of mass paranoia allows on a world.
The leaders had been running over reports of the Young's previous attacks. They used children's toys to make each side think the other was attacking. It was a fine tactic, worthy of some of their honored parents.
"The Young have a great advantage over us on two major fronts. #1 they know us, our styles, our way of thinking, plans of attack. Since not all children are members of the Young we can't just arrest ever child we see in the streets. The public outcry would be deafening."
The man speaking, Coran, looked around at his fellow leaders. Seeing the nods of agreement and the uncomforable looks on their faces. They knew we was right.
"And #2, they have those tunnels below the surface. We can't corner then because those tunnels seem to have been lengthened all over the city by the Young themselves. Everytime we start to win a battle, they use a new secret exit from the field in the passages below."
A messanger came an reported something to another Councillor. When he left the Councillor stood on shaky patched legs and said, "Councillor Coran is right. Something must be done about those tunnels. I've been informed that the Young just raided a Daan infirmary and took nearly everything. If it can happend to those fools, it can happen to us eventually."
"Well what do we do about it. They are atleast two meters below the surface. All of the entrances and exits are hidden well out of our sight. We have no maps, no way to get in or block them," a female Councillor said.
Wehutti looked around at his gathered comrades, a shy smile on his face. "Are you all forgeting about the weapon we have designed for drilled into the ground and causing ground quakes. It was meant for causing disarray in the Daan camps so we could raid. But it could drill down into these passages and shake them enough to force the children out due to collapses. Once they are out, we can mine the remaining ones and destroy them forever."
All the other leaders looked shocked and dismayed momentarily, but quickly realized that Wehutti's plan just may work.
"This will kill a large number of them in the process. What's left we should easily be able to place in detention camps. And **force** them to see things our way again," Councillor Coran remarked, an evil smile on his scared face.
TBC
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