Title: Lost Light
By: Cassia
Category: Story, Drama, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Rating: PG (violence)
Spoilers: Minor ones for the JA books
Archive: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years & Qui-Gon Fic
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars characters are the
exclusive property of George Lucas. All others belong to me.
I have no official permission to use these characters, but
I'm not being paid for it either, so that's okay.
Feedback: Yes Please!
Time Frame: 10 years before TMP. Obi-Wan is 15.
Summary: What was supposed to be an investigative mission goes
terribly awry, leaving Obi-Wan blind and Qui-Gon injured. Now
the two handicapped Jedi must try to survive the harsh and brutal
Drojan Death Camps while the fate of a planet hangs in the balance...
NOTE: A while ago I said that I was trying to write shorter stories, Which took on slightly less epic preportions. Well, I failed. Failed miserably. This is probably my longest, most involved story yet. I just can't seem to come up with ideas that can be condenced down to anything less than 60 pages. My appologies. I am cutting the story up into short segments so as not to weary you all with huge posts. Think of it like a serial. I shall be a semi-regular visitor in your mailbox until this story is finished, so get used to me! :D
I hope you all like it!
Cassia
The flames raged, higher and higher, reaching out their destructive tendrils to engulf and destroy the laboratory. Bottles on the wall beneath the flames popped and shattered like explosives as their chemical contents were heated by the fire. The shelf gave way, sending what was left of its load crashing into the building inferno. The fire writhed and momentarily changed color as it was inundated by the dangerous mix it had just consumed.
Qui-Gon Jinn noticed with alarm that the flames were heading for the large oxygen drums on the far wall. When those went up this whole place was going to be cinders. "Come on, let's go! Move, move, move!" he urged the fleeing scientists. The room shook as something exploded down the hall.
A moment later, the Jedi Master was relieved to see his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, enter the room. The apprentice's clothes were singed and his face and hair darkened with soot and streaked with sweat, but he was otherwise unharmed. The young Jedi clutched two children in his arms and four more hung onto his robes, wide-eyed and scared to death. Obi-Wan did not stop to speak to his Master but hurried the children out of the building. Blaster bolts exploded around the fifteen-year-old Jedi's head. Instinctively, he ducked; jumping back and shoving the children out of harms way as well.
The soldiers who had set the building ablaze ringed the flaming structure, mercilessly shooting down those who fled. This door had been safe last time Obi-Wan had ushered people through it, but it was no longer and he would have to find another way to get these kids out of here. His mind could not comprehend the ruthlessness behind all this, torching the building, shooting people, shooting at children of all things! "It's okay kids," he tried to sooth as he dragged them back the way they had just come. "It'll be okay. Just stay with me."
"Master! Master Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan called, finding him once more. "The east door is no longer safe." Qui-Gon swore silently under his breath. "Neither is the west door," he said with forced calm.
Obi-Wan bit his lip. They were trapped. "Is everyone out of the building yet?" Qui-Gon asked, his gaze sweeping over the children that huddled around Obi-Wan like frightened koka's.
"Most everyone, except maybe a handful scattered about, and these children," Obi-Wan confirmed what Qui-Gon already knew. The air was stiflingly hot and choked with acrid smoke. The children coughed and Obi-Wan had to resist the urge to do the same.
Leila, one of the scientists who had stayed behind to help everyone else get out ran up to them. "This building is as empty as we're going to get it. The fire's progressing too fast, we have to get out of here now!" she reported breathlessly, pushing her thick bundle of short, black braids back over her shoulder.
"That will be a little difficult," Qui-Gon said, searching for a plan. "The Drojan army has us quite thoroughly surrounded." Leila hissed through her teeth, wiping perspiration off her brow with her sleeve. "Pigs!" she spat, referring to the Drojans. "This is exactly why we refused to create biological and chemical weapons for them, because they're animals!" she raged. "This was a research station, not a weapons lab, we tried to tell them that..." her eyes turned hard and hopeless. "I guess that isn't what they wanted to hear."
"You made the right choice," Qui-Gon assured.
"Yeah, I guess this is proof of that," Leila shook her head. "Come on, there's a maintenance entrance in the back of one of the labs, with any luck, they won't have discovered it yet." The two Jedi, children in tow, followed Leila down the smoke- filled corridors. The lab in question was already engulfed in flames. Each adult took two children in their arms and made a dash through the raging fire.
Smoke, laced with chemical fumes choked them and stung their eyes. Leila struggled with the door. "It's locked!" she cried in dismay.
Drawing his lightsaber, Qui-Gon quickly took care of that. Kicking the door open, they tumbled outside, into the pale light of the Driosian day. They found themselves in an outdoors storage area behind the building. A high fence with no door, twice as tall as Qui-Gon ran around the area.
"Do you think we can climb it Master?" Obi-Wan asked, looking uncertainly up at the imposing barrier.
"No," Qui-Gon shook his head. "It's electro-charged," he said, testing it with a gentle touch that left his finger numb. "Only one way then," the apprentice said, setting down the children he carried.
Qui-Gon nodded, releasing his burdens as well. "Leila, stand there by the wall with the children. We're going to lift you over and then pass the children to you. Whatever you do, you have got to be calm and trust us, all right?"
Leila nodded. She was not sure what the Jedi had in mind, but she did trust them. Clutching two of the frightened four-year- olds to her breast, she waited.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan both closed their eyes and their powers joined.
Leila felt herself rising off the ground, the children still in her arms. She resisted the urge to look down and tried to remain calm as Qui-Gon had told her to, but it was not easy. Slowly, she rose up, over the fence and was set down gently on the far side.
"Leila, are you all right?" she heard Qui-Gon's voice call to her from the other side of the barrier.
"I'm fine, and I'm on the other side. There's no one in sight for the moment," she reported quickly.
"We're sending the children over," Qui-Gon told her as he and Obi-Wan prepared to hoist two more of the youngsters into the air. Qui-Gon wondered if perhaps he should have his apprentice hold two of the children and send them over together, bringing the remaining two with him on the next trip, but he mentally checked their reserves and decided against it. Neither Master, nor Padawan had slept in over 72 hours. This last business of evacuating the burning research station had used up nearly the last of their energies. It took both of them concentrating together to safely levitate anyone at this point. They would send the children over, and then follow themselves.
In groups of two they sent the quiet, but terrified youngsters over the fence and deposited them safely with Leila on the other side.
"Okay, I've got them, now you two come. Hurry! I think I hear people coming!" Leila called urgently.
It was too late. Snipers from the nearby buildings opened up fire on the little group below them.
"Leila run! Take the children, get out of here!" Qui-Gon commanded urgently, igniting his blade to deflect the shots aimed at them. Obi-Wan did likewise.
Leila did not hesitate but took the children and cleared out of there as fast as she could. She knew the Jedi could take care of themselves.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan blocked the shots raining down on them, but it was a losing proposition. They were trapped behind the fence with nowhere to go but back into the burning building. They could not possibly levitate themselves out while they were being shot at, and the fence was much too high to jump. Well, they couldn't stay here, Qui-Gon realized grimly as the sniper-fire intensified. It was literally like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, yet they had no choice but to retreat back into the burning laboratory.
The flames were very thick now and the ceiling groaned an ominous warning that it was not going to stay up much longer. A hail of burning ruble collapsed directly in front of them, blocking the doorway back into the rest of the building. The flames were all around them, licking at their long robes and searing their lungs.
Obi-Wan whirled around when he heard a loud, shrieking pop. Heated beyond endurance, a test tube exploded like a missile had hit it. Just as he turned, another beaker blew up, shattering and projecting its contents all over the room, and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan did not have time to duck and the burning chemicals caught him directly in the face and eyes. Shards of glass embedded themselves in his robes like shrapnel and tore his arms and hands as he flung them up in a delayed attempt to protect himself. The young Jedi felt the chemicals burn like liquid fire on his skin, making him cry out in shock and pain. Obi-Wan's hands flew to his face in a desperate attempt to wipe the stinging fluid away on the sleeve of his tunic. Qui-Gon jumped to his Padawan's side. Just then, a huge explosion shook the building, signaling it's last moments. Obi-Wan fell to his knees. Fire rained down around them like the world was coming to an end. The ceiling above gave way, crashing down.
Qui-Gon threw himself over his Padawan, pressing the boy to the floor as the world fell down around them. Obi-Wan dimly felt his Master's body over his, but he was really aware only of the burning pain in his face and eyes. Then, everything faded to black and he remembered no more.
PART TWO:
When Obi-Wan woke up, the pain in his face was the first thing he noticed. Then the pain in his hands, then the rest of his body. At least that meant he wasn't dead, the apprentice tried hard to look on the bright side. But where was he? He was lying on his back on a hard, lumpy surface, but the room was pitch dark and he could see nothing. Somewhere, nearby, he felt Qui-Gon's familiar presence, and that made him feel better. If they were together, than things couldn't be that bad.
Qui-Gon moved to his Padawan's side as the increased level of pain he felt emanating from the boy told the Jedi Master that Obi-Wan was waking up.
"Master?" Obi-Wan asked groggily, deciding against trying to sit up just yet.
"I'm here Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon's mellow voice was comforting. Obi-Wan could hear the gentle rustle of his Master's robes as Qui-Gon settled himself next to his apprentice. Obi-Wan blinked, trying to force his aching eyes to adjust to the darkness, but it didn't help, he still could not see Qui- Gon. "Where is *here*?" Obi-Wan wanted to know. "Where are we, Master?" Why was it so dark?
"A Drojan prison cell I'm afraid," Qui-Gon replied. Obi-Wan admired his Master's control. There was almost no emotion in the older Jedi's voice and he might as well have been telling Obi-Wan that they had been invited to a high tea... come to think of it, that was almost as bad... Obi-Wan's lips twitched slightly in spite of himself. Unfortunately, even that much movement in his facial muscles was acutely painful to the Padawan.
Obi-Wan put his hand to his face, gently touching the smarting burns that ran across his features. They didn't seem too bad, just painful, and half of that was probably a reaction because it was a chemical burn as well as a normal one. "What happened?"
"The research station collapsed," Qui-Gon said calmly. "We were trapped underneath, but miraculously, were not killed. The Drojan forces extinguished the fire to keep it from spreading to other buildings. When they went through the rubble, they pulled us out. You were unconscious by that time and I was... not in a condition to oppose them, so they brought us here," Qui-Gon explained wearily.
No, Obi-Wan realized with a shock, it wasn't just weariness he heard in his mentor's voice, it was pain. Qui-Gon was in pain and Obi-Wan hadn't even realized it. Obi-Wan kicked himself for being so unobservant and wrapped up in his own suffering. *"Not in a condition to oppose them..."* Qui-Gon must be hurt, but how, and how badly? Obi-Wan wished he could see his Master, blast this infernal darkness! Did the Drojans always keep their prisons this dark? Perhaps it was meant discourage escape, or to drive the inmates insane.
Obi-Wan sent out a probe through the Force, trying to get a reading that way. "Master, you're hurt!" he said in dismay when the probe came back to him. He couldn't tell specifics, but whatever the injuries were, they were substantial. Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed slightly in surprise. Obi-Wan only just noticed this? He looked down at the double slings that bound his broken arms to his chest. That he was injured was readily apparent to anyone with eyes...
A cold chill ran up Qui-Gon's spine and his stomach tightened uncontrollably. Obi-Wan was not looking at him. He was not looking at *anything*. As he lay on the rough cot, the boy's blue eyes wondered aimlessly, but focused on nothing. Qui-Gon passed his hand over his apprentice's face, not three inches away. No reaction. Obi-Wan did not even seem to notice. Qui-Gon's gaze lighted on the red burns that traced across the boy's face, especially the large, blistered one that arced across Obi-Wan's cheekbones, the bridge of his nose... and straight across the Padawan's eyes. The tightness in Qui-Gon's stomach solidified into a hard lump.
Obi-Wan felt the sudden change in Qui-Gon's calm demeanor. "What is it Master? What's wrong?"
*"He doesn't know..."* Qui-Gon realized in anguish. "Obi-Wan, what do you see?" the Jedi Master asked carefully.
"See?" Obi-Wan was surprised by the question. "I can't see anything Master, it's too dark in here."
Qui-Gon bit his lip, unsure what to say.
"Master?" a note of alarm crept into the boy's voice. He could tell something was wrong.
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon's voice was low, too low, he was sad about something... "This cell is fully lighted. I can see you quite clearly," the Master's voice cracked just slightly.
For a moment Obi-Wan did not understand. Fully lighted? That was impossible! He couldn't see a thing... Suddenly what Qui- Gon was telling him hit the teenager like a blaster bolt in the gut. Obi-Wan's chest tightened so badly he couldn't breathe. He gasped for air and ended up hyperventilating. *It couldn't be true! It couldn't! Oh, please don't let it be true!* But it was true and he knew it, Qui-Gon wouldn't lie to him about something like this. That burning he felt in his eyes...
"Master, Master I can't see!" he cried in dismay and alarm. Sitting up despite the fireworks it set off in his head, he groped out, trying to find his Master by feel.
Qui-Gon managed to catch one of his apprentice's searching hands in the still slightly movable fingers of his right hand. The motion and strain hurt incredibly, but Qui-Gon barely noticed, his whole attention was on Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon moved closer, pulling the boy to him with the Force in lieu of the arms he did not have the use of at present.
Obi-Wan buried his face against Qui-Gon's shoulder. The fabric of the older Jedi's tunic smelled of smoke and bacta, the later no doubt applied to treat the burns and other injuries Qui-Gon had received when the ceiling fell in above them. Qui- Gon had covered Obi-Wan with his own body and the apprentice had come out virtually unharmed, except for his vision...
A single tear slipped from Obi-Wan's sightless sapphire eyes, yet he did not feel like crying, not really. He was too numb to cry, too shocked to even fully absorb the meaning of what he had lost.
Qui-Gon did not speak empty words of comfort to him, did not try to trivialize what the apprentice had lost, nor say that everything would be all right when it was not. The big Jedi just held him close, using the Force to replace his useless arms, and letting Obi-Wan know that he was not alone in this darkness.
Obi-Wan leaned against Qui-Gon for a long time. It was comforting to be near him, to feel his Master's presence so close, the touch of his mentor's mind and body, the familiar smell of Qui-Gon's robes that was still apparent underneath the scent of smoke and bacta... Obi-Wan had never realized how much all these little details played into the image he had of his Master. Now that he could not see, he seemed already much more aware of sounds, smells, feelings and even tastes.
What did this mean for the future? Obi-Wan wondered. Was this blindness permanent, or could it be fixed? And if it could not, did his loss of sight take with it his dreams of becoming a Knight? He knew at least one other blind Jedi, but Tahl was already a Knight when she was blinded. Could he continue training to become one if this condition was permanent? Could he ever hope to be allowed to face the trials, and even if so, did he stand any chance of passing them?
He must not rely on his eyes, since Obi-Wan was little he had been taught this, but could he live without them? He didn't know.
****************
"Walk to me," Qui-Gon instructed yet again.
Obi-Wan took an uncertain step forward, reaching out with his feelings to find where Qui-Gon was and moving towards him. The elder Jedi circled slowly and was pleased to see that Obi- Wan continually adjusted his course to keep heading towards his Master. Unfortunately Obi-Wan was so centered on tracking Qui-Gon that he neglected to fully probe out the path he was taking and ended up tripping over the chair that Qui-Gon had placed in his way.
Obi-Wan restrained himself from punching something in frustration. He should be able to do this! Hadn't he trained, blindfolded, for enough years at the Temple to know how to maneuver without sight?
*"Deceive you they can, trust your eyes, do not,"* he could still hear Yoda say to him. Why couldn't he do it now, when it mattered the most?
Qui-Gon shook his head. "You're trying too hard Padawan," he corrected gently. "You're trying so hard to see, that you tense up and miss things. Open your mind and let it happen naturally. Let the Force flow around you Obi-Wan, only then you will be able do it," Qui-Gon instructed, his presence was strong, but his voice held traces of weariness and sorrow.
"See through the Force," the Master urged. "Don't just see me, or other life forms, see the room, the objects in it. Especially the objects in your immediate path."
Obi-Wan righted himself to try again. Leave it to Qui-Gon to turn even a prison cell into a place to train. Then again, what else were they going to do here? Escape, in their combined conditions was a sadly ludicrous idea. The Jedi Council would send search parties for them if they did not report in again soon, but would they be able to find them? Obi-Wan made it on his second try, evading all obstacles and finding his way to his Master's side.
"Good," Qui-Gon approved, letting a smile creep into his voice since he knew Obi-Wan could no longer read his facial expressions. "You're learning fast."
Just then, the cell door slid open and both Jedi looked up, although it was merely a gesture of habit on Obi-Wan's part. Two soldiers entered the cell; six or seven more waited outside the door. "You will come with us," the men informed the two Jedi brusquely, gesturing towards the door with their blasters.
With little choice, the Jedi acquiesced. Obi-Wan caught Qui- Gon's elbow for guidance and they followed the soldiers out. Qui-Gon was a good and careful guide. With his friend Tahl he had learned how to lead and still allow the sightless person the freedom to navigate on their own and Obi-Wan had no trouble keeping up with him. Qui-Gon only hoped that unlike Tahl, Obi-Wan's eyesight would be fixable.
"Where are you taking us?" the big Jedi asked calmly.
"To the Camps dolt," one soldier responded with a rude laugh. "Can't have all you people cluttering up our prison space and eating our food. Gotta work for your keep here. You work, or you die."
They stopped in a large room where many other prisoners were also waiting, ringed by soldiers and well guarded. The room was actually a platform of sorts and the tracks at the far end suggested that they were waiting for some form of transportation to arrive.
As they came to a halt, one of the soldiers noticed the way Obi-Wan was holding Qui-Gon's arm. The man jerked Obi-Wan away, giving a short, rough, laugh. "How many fingers am I holding up boy?" he jeered, not holding up any.
Obi-Wan tried to pull away from him and got slapped across the face for it.
Qui-Gon tensed, stepping towards them, but two or three soldiers caught him by his injured arms and pushed him back against the wall. "Hey pops, where do you think you're going?" they asked, giving his tightly wrapped, but un-casted, broken arms an intentionally vicious twist. Qui-Gon gasped, gritting his teeth in pain.
"Huh boy? Come on, how many?" the soldier shook Obi-Wan back and forth mockingly. One of the other soldiers pulled a short whip off his belt with a cruel laugh. "Hey Tacin, see if he can see this coming," the man jeered, snapping the single- tongued lash and catching Obi-Wan in the chest with it. Obi-Wan clenched his teeth, struggling to remain calm. Anger would only cloud his thoughts, he had to be in control... the next time the soldier took a swipe at him, he was ready and dodged out of the way. He dodged twice more as the soldier attempted in vain to land another blow on him. Obi-Wan felt a quiet sense of satisfaction, he may be blind, but he still had the Force.
The soldiers laughed, grouping around Obi-Wan, but their laughter was more measured now. "Ooh, he's good," they half admired, half taunted. "Look at the blind boy go." "Hey Elu, whatsa matter? Can't even nail a blind kid?" the taunting turned on the soldier now as well, which made the man they called Elu mad.
Qui-Gon watched helplessly as some of the other soldiers joined in the sport, pulling the whips off their belts as well and circling around Obi-Wan like over-grown bullies on a playground.
Obi-Wan reached out with the Force, trying to dodge the hissing blows, which came from all around him now. He did a good job of it too, evading nearly all of them. This made some of the soldiers respect him a little, but others it made angry.
Obi-Wan jumped to avoid a swipe aimed at his legs, but he did not sense the boot that was thrust out suddenly where he was to land until it was too late. The soldier kicked the apprentice's legs out from under him roughly. Obi-Wan fell forward, catching himself on his hands and knees.
Most of the soldiers backed off, content to have brought him down, but Elu, the one who started it, was still angry. Kicking Obi-Wan in the face and arms, he brought the boy all the way down to the ground and lashed out at him, catching him across the back and ribs with his lash.
Obi-Wan started to roll away, but several pairs of rough hands stopped him, grabbing him, holding him down. A thrill of panic swept through his body. Hands were holding him, grabbing at him, but he could not see who they went with. For a brief moment it reminded him of a time back at the Temple when he was eight. Bruck and several other boys had wrapped him up in a blanket and sat on him after he inadvertently got them in trouble for something. It felt like that now, held down in suffocating darkness and unable to fight back, only this time there was no one to make them stop. The sudden surge of fear disrupted his connection to the Force, making him feel even more helpless.
He bucked and struggled with them as Elu's whip caught him again and again, cutting through his tunic and drawing blood. The soldiers held him at first, but after a few moments they let go. Whether because there was some decency in them still somewhere, or because of a heap of mental effort on Qui-Gon's part Obi-Wan did not know.
"Okay Elu, that's enough, you made your point," one of them pulled the angry soldier away from the bleeding boy. Obi-Wan rose to his feet, and for a moment he just stood there. He wanted desperately to run to Qui-Gon's side, but he didn't know where that was. The beating had disorientated him and he realized with a chill that he had no idea where he was or how to navigate.
The soldiers let go of Qui-Gon and he quickly made his way to his apprentice's side, feeling his heart twist at the helplessness in Obi-Wan's sightless eyes.
Obi-Wan tried to be strong, tried to gain control of himself once more, banishing the fear and hopelessness that tugged at him. He took Qui-Gon's elbow again, but did not fling himself into his Master's arms as he would have liked to do.
Elu laughed with his friends as the soldiers moved away. "What's it matter anyway? Those two are useless. A blind boy and a cripple? They'll be sent to the ovens as soon as they step off the transport."
Qui-Gon realized Obi-Wan's hand on his elbow was shaking. "Are you all right?" the older Jedi inquired gently.
"Yes," Obi-Wan started to respond automatically, but then he stopped, hanging his head and shaking it. "No, Master."
Qui-Gon did not blame him. "You did well Padawan," he tried to comfort. "Your use of your training does you credit. Just remember, if you let the fear of being helpless take over you, you become helpless."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan understood. He also knew that understanding and doing were two completely different things.
"We'll find a way out of this Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said softly, giving his Padawan a mental squeeze. "I promise we will."
TBC...
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