Title: Lost Light
By: Cassia
Email: cassia_a@hotmail.com
Category: Story, Drama, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Rating: PG (violence)
Spoilers: Minor ones for the JA books
Archive: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years & Qui-Gon Fic
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars characters are the
exclusive property of George Lucas. All others belong to me.
I have no official permission to use these characters, but
I'm not being paid for it either, so that's okay.
Feedback: Yes Please!
Time Frame: 10 years before TMP. Obi-Wan is 15.
Summary: What was supposed to be an investigative mission goes
terribly awry, leaving Obi-Wan blind and Qui-Gon injured.
Having survived the harsh Drojan Death Camps, the two Jedi try get off
planet, as well as aid the one person who might be able to make the Republic
see that they must put a stop to Driosnia's actrocities. But nothing is
simple and everything that can go wrong, will...
PART 12 & CONCLUSION:
The control panel flashed, telling Verjl that the engines were ready for lift-off. The Driosnian hesitated. It was not supposed to be this way. It was vital that someone survive this encounter and report to the Republic, but could he live with himself if he escaped, knowing he had left Kenobi and Jinn to die on a foreign world for a cause that was not their own? He didn't know where Jinn was so there was nothing he could do for him, but the boy had willingly chosen to risk his life by acting as a diversion to cover Verjl, could he really bring himself to leave the young Jedi behind? To face either certain death here, or worse, capture and slow death at the hands of Drojan torturers?
Obi-Wan heard the hum of the engines directly behind him and felt a rush of air against his back. He knew the ship was ready, why didn't Verjl take off? He couldn't hold the soldiers back forever. They were already setting up another cannon.
Suddenly the hatch on the side popped open. "Kenobi, run for it!" Verjl shouted urgently above the whine of the engines and the racket of the warfare.
If the hatch was open, that meant the shields were down. They had only moments before the Drojans that encircled the little craft tried to rush Verjl. The soldiers had Obi-Wan completely boxed in against the engine casing on the back of the ship, there was no easy way around them. He could do it, but it would take time. More time than they had. Obi-Wan knew he couldn't make it to the hatch before the Drojans that had the rest of the ship surrounded did.
"I can't! Take off!" Obi-Wan shouted back. He too realized that someone must escape this place, must tell the rest of the galaxy the truth about what was going on here.
Verjl saw the soldiers rush towards him as soon as the hatch was open, spitting fire. He blasted back at them, bringing the leaders of the charge down, but the second wave kept coming. He heard Obi-Wan yelling for him to take off and knew the boy was right. Just then someone whizzed over the Drojan's heads in a long, powerful leap. Qui-Gon landed in front of the hatch, saber up.
"Padawan!" he called out, parrying the surprised and momentarily disorganized soldiers' wild blasts.
Obi-Wan twisted to the right, searching for a gap in the living wall that fenced him in. He found none. He didn't have enough room to jump and the dizzy way his head was spinning made him unsure of the results if he tried. "There's no time Master, go!"
Qui-Gon would not accept that, but his entire attention had to be focused on defending the hatch, he could not reach Obi- Wan's position.
Sheena arrived at the hanger several paces behind Qui-Gon. She saw the fighting around the ship. Then she saw the soldiers bringing a cannon to bear directly on Qui-Gon and Verjl's position. Stooping to retrieve the weapon of one of the soldiers who had fallen in the entryway, during the first attack that Obi-Wan had fended off, she slipped quietly towards them. With everyone's attention on the Jedi and the ship, she was able to come up behind the two men by the cannon without being noticed. She was tempted to just blast them, but she could not. Even with a good reason, she could not bring herself to shoot anyone in the back. Switching the weapon to stun, she knocked them out cold instead.
A ground-shaking blast rattled the air. "The cannon!" Obi- Wan thought urgently. They were out of time. Why wouldn't Verjl and Qui-Gon just take off?! Then he realized that the blasts were not being aimed at them.
Qui-Gon looked around in surprise as the blast scattered the soldiers attacking him.
Sheena wheeled the cannon about to target the group that had Obi-Wan pinned down.
BLAM!
The shot blasted a smoking crater in the hanger floor, scattering Drojans left and right. The power of it knocked Obi-Wan back against the engines, but he recovered quicker than the soldiers and was sprinting around the side of the ship before the Drojans knew what hit them.
The soldiers were regrouping quickly. It would not take them long to figure out where those shots were coming from. "Time to go!" Qui-Gon called out; motioning Sheena in just as Obi-Wan reached them.
Jumping down off the aiming stand, Sheena made a dash for the ship. She was almost there when one of the fallen soldiers rolled over and took aim at her.
Obi-Wan could not see what was happening, but he felt it. "Sheena!" he screamed, knowing there was no way he or Qui-Gon could get to her in time.
A blast from behind them caught the soldier just as he fired, making the shot go wild and miss Sheena by a meter. Qui-Gon turned in time to see the smoke curl from Verjl's blaster. "Run Sheena! Run!" her former Master urged.
Run she did, not stopping until Verjl pulled her into the ship.
"Our turn Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said as the remaining Drojans reorganized their attack. Leaping onto the partially extended ramp the two Jedi backed in quickly; blocking shots as they went until the hatch slammed shut.
Verjl brought the shields back up in an instant and with a whoosh that scattered what was left of their attackers the little craft took to the sky, heading for the stars and safety.
Obi-Wan steadied himself on the back of what he thought was one of the cabin chairs and started to collapse into it. Unfortunately, the projection he had grabbed stuck out further than the seats themselves and he missed. He ended up sitting down on the deck beside the chairs with a hard whump. Obi-Wan shook his head, momentarily bewildered about how he had gotten there.
It was a struggle, but Sheena was sensitive enough not to laugh at him. However, in the state he was in now, Obi-Wan probably would not have cared. He was too exhausted to be embarrassed, so he simply picked himself up and groped until he found the chair for sure this time before sinking into it.
The young Jedi's tired fingers fumbled slightly with the buckles as they all strapped in for the jump to hyperspace. He was bone weary and the mix of adrenaline and pain left his whole body shaking. The jolt that shook the ship as it entered hyperspace made him grit his teeth as it shook his sore body. Leaning back, the Padawan closed his eyes, breathing unsteadily. He almost couldn't believe they had made it. He had been ready to die back there, so many times, yet here they were. He felt Qui-Gon's hand on his shoulder but did not open his eyes yet. It didn't matter whether they were closed or open anyway and he was so exhausted.
Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's young body trembling with pain and fatigue under his hand. He was not surprised. Obi-Wan felt the warm waves of comfort and calm coming from his Master's touch and sank deeper into the chair as his tense body started to relax a little.
"I'm proud of you Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, gently undoing the now unnecessary restraint straps to check the nasty looking burn on his apprentice's side. "You did a Knight's job out there today. None of us would have made it away if you hadn't held them off as you did."
Obi-Wan's body felt like it was on fire and his side was nothing but sheer pain, but Qui-Gon's praise made all that seem inconsequential to him. He had done it. He had functioned as a Jedi despite his blindness. Making it through this proved to him that Qui-Gon was right. His so-called handicap did not make him a lesser person. He did not have to give up his dreams; he could still become a Knight. Obi-Wan smiled faintly despite the pain.
"I'm sorry you had to do it alone," Qui-Gon said softly as he unbuttoned what was left of Obi-Wan's shirt. He did not want to foster more tension like had been between them earlier.
Obi-Wan grimaced as Qui-Gon pulled the shirt off, sucking his breath in through his teeth. "I wasn't alone," Obi-Wan shook his head. "Even though you weren't there, even though I couldn't feel you and didn't know where you were, I wasn't alone, because I had the lesson's you've taught me in my head and the love you've shown me in my heart. I will never be alone." It took effort for Obi-Wan to speak, but he wanted Qui-Gon to know. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier Master. I was only thinking about me, and my own self-pity. You were right, I was holding *myself* back, I see that now." Obi-Wan tried to relax and be still as Qui-Gon applied burn-cream from the ship's emergency medi-pac to his side and arm. More extensive treatment would have to wait until they could get to a medical facility.
"You have done very well Padawan, I did not say what I did to be harsh," Qui-Gon held his hand on Obi-Wan's side, above the burn, sending healing messages to the injured area.
"I know," Obi-Wan nodded. "You were right." His words were starting to slur as his injuries and exhaustion caught up with him. He felt as if he were sinking into a soft, feathery bed as he slipped off into the sleep-like healing trance Qui-Gon was helping send him into.
"That's right," Qui-Gon ran a hand over Obi-Wan's slightly out-grown Padawan haircut. "Rest now."
Sheena watched all that passed between master and apprentice in silence, which was unusual for her. The closeness that Obi- Wan and Qui-Gon shared made her heart ache fiercely because it reminded her of all those whom she had been close to, of all those whom she had lost.
Qui-Gon draped a blanket over Obi-Wan's sleeping form, tucking it around his chin to keep the chill of space away from his Padawan's weakened body. When he turned around, he found that Sheena was curled up in her chair, hugging her knees and crying soundlessly.
"Are you all right?" he asked with concern, sitting down beside her.
"No," she whispered between sobs, shaking her head. "I thought I had forgotten. Forgotten all those I loved and lost. My parents, my brother..." she scrubbed her eyes futilely. "But seeing you and Obi together brought it all back to me. I am empty Mr. Jinn. I have a hole inside me that nothing can fill."
Qui-Gon wrapped his good arm around her shoulders, letting her lean on him and cry against his chest. "You never forget Sheena," he said gently. "But you do heal. Obi-Wan and I have both lost people very dear to us and one never forgets, but the pain becomes less. It takes time, but eventually, if you let it, your heart will mend," he comforted, patting her shoulder softly with his big, strong hand. "Fill their place in your life with your memories of them, hold them in your heart, but let the pain drain away. No one can replace the ones you've lost, but don't let that stop you from forming new relationships. I did for a long time, and it almost cost me Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon admitted softly.
"You?" Sheena wiped her eyes. "But you're a Jedi, you and Obi- Wan, you're, you're invincible!"
Qui-Gon smiled in amusement at the young woman's declaration. "Being Jedi doesn't make us perfect Sheena, or mean that we don't struggle with the same things that everyone else does." He shook his head. "I was deeply hurt by the loss and betrayal of someone I was very close to. As a result, I would not give my heart away to anyone again. Even after I took Obi-Wan as my Padawan, I refused to really trust him," it no longer hurt Qui-Gon to remember that time, because it was in the past, and all was right between he and his apprentice now. "That caused many problems and nearly forced us apart for good," Qui-Gon paused. "I'm telling you this Sheena, because I don't want you to make the same mistake. I nearly missed the relationship I now have with Obi-Wan, because I was still hurting from a previous one," Qui-Gon tipped the Inui woman's chin up on the crook of his finger. "Don't be afraid to let yourself care again. You'll never heal if you don't." Qui-Gon spoke from experience, and that made his words carry much more weight with Sheena.
Sheena nodded slowly. She understood.
Verjl entered from the cockpit. He saw Sheena all balled up in Qui-Gon's arms and looked worried. "Are you all right Sheena?" he asked, taking her hand. "You weren't hurt were you?"
"No, Master, I'm all right," Sheena shook her head shyly.
"You are not my slave anymore," Verjl said, giving her hand a squeeze. "Please, call me Verjl."
Sheena nodded, a faint smile pulling at her lips. "Verjl," she said softly.
Qui-Gon noted the rise in Sheena's body temperature and the way she acted and he guessed that she was already well on her way to forming new relationships. He noticed that Verjl seemed to have the same reaction to her. Qui-Gon slid his arm off of Sheena's shoulders. "I must contact the Jedi Council and inform them of what has happened. It may take a while. In the meantime I think perhaps a cup of something warm would do you both good. I believe I saw the supplies for some when I retrieved the medical supplies for Obi-Wan," he said, managing to keep his smile faint.
"Oh, yes," Sheena said, rising. "I'll fix something."
Qui-Gon left for the cockpit with an amused grin pulling at his dignified mouth. Sheena would heal quickly.
******************
CONCLUSION:
Obi-Wan lay on the table, dressed in the long, white tunic of one who was in the care of the Temple Healers. The marks of the abuse he had suffered and the burn from the blaster shot were gone as if they had never been. Only the thin white bandage that covered his eyes served as a reminder that anything had happened to him at all.
"How did it go?" Qui-Gon asked, trepidacious despite himself.
"The minor injuries were a small thing to treat," the Healer informed him. "However, his eyes..."
Qui-Gon's stomached tightened. "Yes?"
The Healer sighed. "It's like we told you before we preformed the procedure on him. He's got a fifty-fifty chance of being able to see again. We won't know for sure which way it will be until he wakes up."
Qui-Gon sat by Obi-Wan's bedside, struggling with conflicting emotions. Part of him wanted Obi-Wan to hurry and wake up so that the uncertainty would be over, but another part of him wanted to postpone the moment as long as possible, because at least in not knowing there was hope...
Obi-Wan had proven himself more than capable even without his eyes, but Qui-Gon could not help hoping for a cure. Obi-Wan was so young. Too young to go through life without ever being able to see the beauty of an alien sunrise or enjoy a quiet moment watching the wind make incandescent ripples through the violet saw grass.
Qui-Gon forced himself to think of something else. He thought of Sheena and Verjl. Verjl had been arrested the moment their ship put down on Coruscant. As soon as they had left Driosnia, the Krallnorn had immediately issued an intergalactic warrant for his arrest, citing a host of charges, which Qui-Gon knew were entirely bogus.
Verjl was not surprised and went with them quietly, but he did claim political asylum, preventing his deportation back to Driosnia. An impartial hearing was to be held sometime next week to look into the allegations, both the ones against Verjl, and the ones that the ex-Administrator made against the Drojan party.
Qui-Gon knew that with he and Obi-Wan, as well as Sheena, on the witness stand, Verjl had nothing to worry about. Sheena was currently staying in the Temple's guest housing as a guest of the Jedi. She went every day to visit Verjl at the detention center and Qui-Gon admitted to finding their quickly growing relationship as amusing as it was touching.
Obi-Wan stirred. He was waking up.
Qui-Gon sat on the edge of his seat; unconsciously holding his breath as Obi-Wan groggily put his hand to his bandaged eyes.
Obi-Wan came slowly out of the effects of the anesthesia. He opened his eyes and found everything dark. Somehow, he felt as if he should be disappointed, but he was not. He had accepted whatever happened to him back on the ship after escaping from Driosnia. If he were meant to be blind, then he could accept that. It was a limitation, but not a block, and just like other limitations, it was one that he knew, with Qui-Gon's help, he could learn to move beyond.
Putting his hands to his face, his fingers brushed across the bandage over his eyes. A cool hand moved his hands away from his face, but it was not Qui-Gon's hand.
"Master?" he asked groggily.
"I'm here Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's hand in his. The Healer gently loosened the bandage and pulled it off. The sudden brilliance of the room lights after having been so long in darkness made Obi-Wan start and press his watering eyes closed in shock, his hands once more flying to his face to shut out the blinding rush of light.
Qui-Gon rose quickly, bending over his apprentice in deep concern. "Obi-Wan, are you all right?"
Obi-Wan did not answer at once, but pulled his hands away from his face slowly, blinking uncertainly like a baby Ooshka opening it's eyes for the first time. The first thing he saw was blurry shapes and twists of color and it seemed to the young Jedi that he had never seen anything so beautiful as those wavery splotches of brilliance. He blinked harder to clear the tears out of his eyes, still squinting against the unaccustomed light. Slowly the fuzzy shapes resolved themselves into distinct images and Obi-Wan saw his Master above him, looking down into his face with so much concern it would have made the boy's heart ache, if he had not already felt so insatiably happy.
Qui-Gon's worry turned to joy as a huge smile spread across Obi-Wan's face and for the first time in almost a month the Padawan's eyes focused on something, locking onto Qui-Gon's in an expression of limitless delight.
"I can see," Obi-Wan whispered, almost not believing it. "Master, it worked, I can see again!" he repeated, louder this time, sitting bolt upright in his excitement. The world wavered before him again, but this time, it was tears of gladness that obscured the Padawan's vision.
Qui-Gon gathered the boy into his arms for a long hug as tears of relief and happiness slid silently down Obi-Wan's cheeks. "I can see," Obi-Wan repeated softly once more, as if it were the most wonderful thing in the world.
The depth of Obi-Wan's joy and his own relief and delight washed over Qui-Gon like a wave and he hid his face behind Obi-Wan's shoulder so that no one would see that he too was crying. "I'm glad Padawan, so glad," was all Qui-Gon could say, but it was more than adequate.
The hearing was held on a beautiful day when even a city planet like Coruscant looked bright and cheerful. The proceedings went smoothly and the all charges against Verjl Owskar, former Administrator of Driosnia, were dismissed. Both the Krallnorn's fabricated ones and any Verjl could have been implicated in due to his involvement in the Drojan party as the case against their bloody regime was opened.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan found a moment to speak with Verjl and Sheena after the proceedings were over, they had not seen Verjl since landing and had seen little enough of Sheena as she always seemed to be at the detention center.
"I appreciated your fine testimony in my behalf," Verjl greeted with a smile as the two Jedi approached. "It's good to see you again Jinn, Kenobi," he shook their hands.
"And you Mr. Owskar, it is very good to see you sir," Obi- Wan said with a large smile, at last able to put a face to Verjl's voice.
Verjl smiled, noting with approval the way the boy could now meet and hold his eyes. "Yes, Obi-Wan," Verjl nodded. "Sheena told me the good news. I am glad for your healing. The Senate has agreed to step into the affairs of Driosnia, so perhaps it will soon be over and my planet too, can begin to heal."
"I do hope so Mr. Owskar," Obi-Wan said earnestly.
"Where will you go now?" Qui-Gon inquired. "Now that you are cleared and free?"
Verjl wrapped an arm around Sheena's shoulders in a fond embrace. "Before I tell you that, I suppose I should tell you *our* good news," his dark eyes sparkled, giving away the secret before he spoke. "Sheena and I are going to be married."
"Congratulations!" Qui-Gon smiled warmly, and Obi-Wan added his assent.
"We will be staying on Coruscant for the time being, the Senate thinks it may yet require my assistance in this whole process and it is Sheena's and my deepest wish to be able to take part in the rebuilding of our beloved home-world when this whole, wretched business is over with. And you? You will both return to your normal lives?"
"Whatever they may be when you're not being shot at, burned, blinded, captured, tossed in prison camps and made slaves that is," Sheena added with a devilish smile.
"Is there anything else we do Master?" Obi-Wan asked, turning to Qui-Gon with a barely concealed smile. "For not being supposed to seek adventure, we certainly seem to have more than our share."
Qui-Gon raised his eyebrow in dry amusement.
Sheena laughed. "Well Obi-Wan, I hope we shall meet again one day. Maybe we'll get together and clean some floors, or better yet, do some midnight fuel-tank stowing!"
Obi-Wan grimaced dubiously. "Umm, let's skip that, okay?"
"Okay," Sheena smiled. "But I do hope that I'll see you again, both of you," she said, seriously this time.
"That would please us as well Sheena, or should I say, Mrs. Owskar." Qui-Gon smiled gently at her, glad to see the light of happiness in her face. Beneath the depths of her copper eyes he could see the memories, clear and strangely bittersweet. She had not forgotten, but she was indeed healing.
Verjl glanced at his wrist chronometer. "We have to go, our shuttle departs shortly," he said regretfully.
"All right, but before we do," Sheena left his side long enough to make her way over to Obi-Wan. She smiled impishly down at the young Jedi.
Obi-Wan smiled back, but felt curiously shy. It was still slightly strange to see Sheena, as well as hear her. "Obi-Wan, aren't you going to kiss the bride?" the Inui's lively copper eyes danced at the sight of the color that spread across the boy's cheeks.
Qui-Gon watched his Padawan stall shyly, and battled to keep down the smile that threatened to breach his calm features.
Not wishing to offend his friend, Obi-Wan leaned up to give the older woman a quick peck on the cheek. Sheena caught his chin in the crook of her finger at the last moment. Grinning devilishly she turned his head so he caught her lips instead. Obi-Wan was both startled and embarrassed, his face flushing still more hotly than before.
Sheena let him go with a good-natured laugh and Obi-Wan shook his head slightly. He liked Sheena, but he may never get used to her.
Verjl raised an eyebrow and coughed in mock consternation. "Just who is getting married here?"
"You sir!" Obi-Wan said, a little too quickly.
"You don't have to sound that happy about it Obi-Wan," Sheena teased.
It took all of Qui-Gon's control to keep from chuckling aloud at the look on Obi-Wan's face. "I think," he said when it was once more safe to speak, "That you had better hurry if you are going to catch your shuttle."
"Indeed," Verjl agreed, glancing once more at the time. "Goodbye my friends, until we meet again!"
"Until we meet again!" Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan echoed as the soon- to-be newlyweds hurried off, arm in arm. Like the two Jedi they parted from, they were headed for the future, side by side.
THE END
And I'm sure you're all saying: "AT LAST!" :D
Well, don't get too comfortable! I'll have more stories coming up soon!
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