Title: Lost Light
By: Cassia
Email: cassia_a@hotmail.com
Category: Story, Drama, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Rating: PG (violence)
Spoilers: Minor ones for the JA books
Archive: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years & Qui-Gon Fic
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars characters are the
exclusive property of George Lucas. All others belong to me.
I have no official permission to use these characters, but
I'm not being paid for it either, so that's okay.
Feedback: Yes Please!
Time Frame: 10 years before TMP. Obi-Wan is 15.
Summary: What was supposed to be an investigative mission goes
terribly awry, leaving Obi-Wan blind and Qui-Gon injured. Now
the two handicapped Jedi must try to survive the harsh and brutal
Drojan Death Camps while the fate of a planet hangs in the balance...
After two frustrating hours of searching, Qui-Gon had nothing
to show for his effort. He knew Obi-Wan was out there
somewhere, but he could not reach the boy. Apparently, when he
had terminated their connection Obi-Wan had also closed off on
his end, creating an impasse that neither of them could get
through unless they both happened to open up at the same time.
But wherever he was, Obi-Wan had shut himself off from
everything and Qui-Gon could not reach him. Qui-Gon did not
want to even think about the kind of distress and pain that
Obi-Wan must have been experiencing to make him shut himself
up so well that not even his Master could find him.
Qui-Gon tried to find a little comfort in the fact that perhaps he could not find his apprentice because he was still too weak, and that as he grew stronger, he would be able to find Obi-Wan no matter how much shielding the Padawan had encased himself in. Deep down inside however, he was not sure.
Obi-Wan was strong.
Only once, back on Bandomeer had he truly clashed wills and powers with Obi-Wan. He had found an alternative to letting the boy blow himself up, but despite what he said to Obi-Wan, he was not at all sure he could have stopped him had Obi-Wan chosen to make the sacrifice. That was over two years ago, Obi-Wan was much more advanced than he had been then...
*"Don't hide so well that even I can't find you Padawan,"* Qui-Gon appealed to the silence that met his calls, but it did no good.
The door to his room swished open, taking the Jedi's mind off these troubling thoughts. He was mildly surprised to find that it was Administrator Owskar, and not the Nurse droid who stood in the doorway. The Administrator was slender and wiry, standing about a half a head shorter than the Jedi. He looked to be in his early thirties, although his dark eyes were the eyes of a man who has seen too much. Qui-Gon nodded his head in a gesture of respect. "Administrator," he greeted calmly. "I understand I have you to thank for my care. You have my gratitude." Qui-Gon's voice was courteous and respectful, but he addressed Verjl as an equal. Jedi always acted with diplomacy, but there was something in them that knew the truth that no position, no title put any one being above another.
Verjl gave a curious smile. There it was again, that strange mix of contradictions that made this fellow so intriguing to him. "You're welcome," he said, entering the room and seating himself in a chair across from Qui-Gon's bed. The Administrator crossed his legs and leaned one arm on the chair's polished hand-rest. "I see you're recovery is going well," he observed. Aside from the medical attention, Verjl guessed that the regular meals weren't doing his unexpected guest any harm either.
Qui-Gon nodded. "Your droid is quite capable." He paused, considering the man in the chair across from him. "I will admit to being surprised at your visit Administrator. To what do I owe this honor?" Qui-Gon knew that a man as busy and as influential as Verjl Owskar surely had hundreds of better ways to spend his time than checking up on recovering inmates from his Party's prison camps. The Jedi wanted to know more about this man, there was something more about him then met the eye.
Verjl was actually thinking the same thing about Qui-Gon. "Insanity perhaps," the Administrator said casually. "Or perhaps I am a little bored today. I thought I would amuse myself by coming down here and finding answers to impossible questions."
Verjl spoke in riddles and Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "Questions?"
"Yes," Verjl repeated. "Questions. Questions such as how a simple fall down the hill like we took could break your arms and do so much damage to them?" Verjl's dark brown eyes studied Qui-Gon intently. "The droid told me that she estimated they must have been broken for at least a week. I sent her to be recalibrated. That's not possible, is it?" Verjl continued to eye Qui-Gon and the Jedi Master wondered just how much he should admit. Finally he decided that full honesty was the best policy. It could do no harm now.
"Your droid's readings were not faulty," Qui-Gon set the record straight. "It has actually been two weeks and three days since I was originally injured."
Verjl's eyes narrowed in surprise. *Two weeks...!* "That's impossible," he shook his head. "Nobody could survive in the camps that long who could not work."
"Ah," Qui-Gon pointed out. "But I did work. You saw me yourself Administrator Owskar."
Verjl shook his head. It was true, but it didn't make sense. "Who are you? *What* are you that you could do these things?" "My name is Qui-Gon Jinn. I do not belong to your planet all, I am a Jedi representative from Coruscant."
It was a simple announcement, but Verjl's eyebrows nearly shot off his head. *"Jedi,"* he hissed through his teeth. That explained a lot...
"I assume you're the Jedi responsible for rescuing the scientists from that research station," Verjl crossed his arms.
"One of them," Qui-Gon assented.
"You may be interested to know that official word says that you are dead. Killed in an unfortunate, accidental fire that destroyed the station and took many lives."
Qui-Gon was not really surprised. The Drojans were extremely good at hiding just what they were doing and what went on in their massive 'dispossessed persons' camps. The rest of the galaxy had no idea what went on here. That's why the Jedi had been sent, because one of the scientists at the partially Republic-owned research station sent out a coded message that made them wonder if all was not well.
Well, if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan ever got out of here, they would certainly have an earful to give the Council, the Senate, and anyone else who wanted to know just what was going on on Driosnia. Qui-Gon wondered if the story of his and Obi-Wan's supposed death had fooled the Jedi Council. He doubted it, but he also knew that there was very little the Council could do about it if the controlling Drojan party refused to allow them further investigation. Driosnia was, after all, still under a sovereignty agreement with the Republic and unless anyone could give a compelling and solid reason why the Republic should interfere with the planet's own system of internal government, the Senate was not about to violate the treaty.
"Really," was all Qui-Gon said.
Verjl shook his head. "I don't know what all being a Jedi means, but there's something about you... more than meets the eye. You're a puzzle to me Jinn, perhaps that's why I pulled you out of the camps." Verjl did not mention that he had also done it because Qui-Gon had saved his life. He did not want the Jedi feeling like he had some kind of hold over him, or as if Verjl owed him anything.
Qui-Gon smiled faintly. "I could say the same of you Administrator."
"Me?" Verjl stiffened a little. "What do you mean?"
Qui-Gon met his eyes squarely. "You act very cold and uncaring, yet you intervened when the guards started to beat me. You are a member, a very high member, of the Drojan party, yet I sense in you a conscience that does not believe in their ways-" Qui-Gon never got a chance to finish. Verjl cut him off with an abrupt wave of his hand.
"Enough Jinn," he said, a trifle sharply. "You must not speak that way again. You forget what I am and what you are."
"No, Administrator, I do not," Qui-Gon countered evenly.
Verjl clenched his jaw. Blast that Jedi! He had the most unnerving eyes. He'd heard that Jedi could look into men's souls. If that were true, then this man could be very dangerous to him, but on the other hand, if the other things he heard about Jedi were also true, perhaps it wouldn't be so dangerous, perhaps it would be useful...
"I understand your position," Qui-Gon continued to fix Verjl with those deep blue eyes. "You have nothing to fear from me."
"Don't put words in my mouth Jedi, or you'll be back in the camps so fast it'll make your head swim," Verjl threatened. The things Qui-Gon had started to say before shook him. Not only because they were so incredibly dangerous to him, but also because Qui-Gon had seen them so easily. Was he that apparent to everyone? His confidence was sorely shaken.
"As you say," Qui-Gon assented calmly.
Verjl rose to leave, but Qui-Gon stopped him. "Administrator?"
"Yes?" Verjl turned back.
"I realize that you may do as you wish with me, and I accept that. But I have one request, only one."
"And what would that be?" Verjl wondered what a man like Jinn would ask for.
"My apprentice was sent to the camps with me. He's only fifteen years old and I am very concerned for him." Verjl noted that for the first time during their conversation the seemingly unmovable Jinn betrayed something other than the calm exterior he had been presenting so far.
"You want me to get him out," Verjl crossed his arms again, leaning against the doorframe.
"It would not be difficult for someone in your position Administrator," Qui-Gon pointed out.
"Perhaps not," Verjl said coolly. "But what makes you think I'd do that?"
Qui-Gon just looked at him. Verjl shifted uncomfortably.
"Don't *do* that Jedi!" he shook his head. "Well, you might be in luck Jinn," he said at last. "It happens that I do have need of an able young boy to attend me and organize my things to prepare for a trip I shall be taking soon. Perhaps your friend could fill that job. What's his name and number?" Verjl gave in under the Jedi Master's strong gaze.
"His name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, he is number 5808. I am sure you will be pleased with your choice," Qui-Gon replied.
"Yes, of course," Verjl nodded, slightly blankly and left the room. Once in the hall and away from Qui-Gon's influence, the Administrator wondered what in the *galaxy* had happened back there. He had fully intended to refuse the Jedi, if for no other reason than to try to prove Qui-Gon's assessment of him wrong, but instead he had found himself inexplicably *agreeing*.
Well, he might as well do it now. Besides, perhaps it would be good to have another leveraging piece. He still did not entirely trust Qui-Gon, but he didn't want to get rid of him just yet either. Verjl was not sure why, but he just had this feeling that something other than blind fate had crossed his path with the Jedi's. Still, it would be good to have something like this boy to hold, to insure that the Administrator stayed in control of the situation. Control, Verjl knew, was the only way to survive here. And he intended to survive.
Obi-Wan pushed the automated polishing machine back and forth
across the huge, tiled floor. The situation had actually not
turned out as bad as he had feared. Apparently he and the
others had been taken from the Camps to be the house-slaves of
some wealthy official. The work was often more involved, but
overall less grueling than what he had been made to do in the
Camps.
"You missed a spot," another slave who was busy cleaning the ceiling-to-floor windows of the huge hall pointed out, trying to be helpful. Obi-Wan placed the voice as female and tried to adjust to get whatever he had missed, but he could neither see it, nor where the other slave was pointing.
"No, over there," Sheena said, patiently pointing to the largish dull patch on the otherwise gleaming tile. When the young man continued to miss the spot, Sheena ran a hand through her through her short black and copper hair and sighed. Hanging her washrag on a rung of the ladder she perched on, she climbed down and pointed right at the spot. "Here."
Obi-Wan ran the machine in her general direction. He got most of it, but it was still streaky.
"Oh, give me that!" Sheena said, losing patience and snatching the polisher from him. He could have at least *looked* at where she was pointing... She fixed the spot and shoved the handle back into his hands. "You don't want to be sloppy about this," she warned him. "They'll beat you if you don't do it right. The Master's a fair man, but these overseers are devils with flesh," Sheena spoke her mind as Obi-Wan would find she was apt to do.
"Thank you," Obi-Wan thanked her for the help. "I'll get the hang of this," he promised, sensing her irritation with him. The last thing he needed was more enemies.
Sheena cocked her eyebrow and quirked a half-smile. She had meant to be upset with him, but she just couldn't stay that way. "Forget it," she dismissed, climbing back up the ladder. "New here, huh?" She decided the young man was probably at least seven years her junior, if not more.
"Yes."
"My name's Sheena, and yours?" Sheena prodded while she scrubbed. Obi-Wan found that here, the guards were not always around, and the slaves could talk-semi freely.
"Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Obi-Wan replied, concentrating on trying to not miss any more spots.
Sheena gave a short laugh. *"Definitely not the talkative type,"* she thought to herself.
"Well Obi-Wan Obi-Wan Kenobi," she said. "Welcome to limbo. It's not quite hell, but it sure isn't heaven," she said, mockingly both airy and grim at the same time.
"You have been here a long time?" Obi-Wan said. It was more of a guess than a question.
Sheena nodded, then paused and shook her head. "Not here exactly, I've only been here long enough to know that I hate it," her voice was tinged with bitterness. "But if you mean that I've been a slave for a long time, you're right. Four years. Nearly since the beginning of the occupation," she finished without emotion. "And you? Where did you come from?"
"The camps," Obi-Wan said softly.
Sheena actually stopped scrubbing. She shot the boy another look. Her copper eyes softened a little. She hadn't realized he was from the camps. "Sorry about what I said," she mumbled, realizing that her younger companion had experienced true hell.
"No need to apologize," Obi-Wan said with a shrug.
Sheena decided she liked the boy, even if he was a little on the quiet side. Of course, compared to her, most people could be considered quiet.
"I've never been to the camps," she admitted. "But I've heard they're terrible."
Obi-Wan was not quite sure what Sheena expected him to say. "You heard correctly," was all ended up replying. "Who'd you lose?" Sheen probed curiously, moving to the next window. Everyone from the camps had lost someone, besides, she could tell from the way his voice got softer when he spoke that he had carried some deep pain away from the camps with him.
Obi-Wan pressed his lips into a tight line and considered not replying at all. What right did she have to ask so many questions? To pry so deep into such a painful subject? For several moments the whirring of the polisher was the only sound to fill the silence.
"Someone dear to me," Obi-Wan said at last, his voice clearly stating that that vein of conversation was closed.
"You're not the only one you know," Sheena said. "This whole mess took away my family, my friends... took away my world."
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said, and he meant it. He was sorry that she had lost so much. It was tragic. War was tragic, cruelty was tragic. However, he was not sorry about his response to her rather personal questions.
A guard entered the room then and so the conversation dried up, which suited Obi-Wan just fine.
"I see you're up and about already," Verjl observed a trifle latently when Qui-Gon met him at the door to the Jedi's room. "Sorry about the security measures, but I can't be too careful," Verjl said, referring to the lock on Qui-Gon's door.
Qui-Gon just nodded. Verjl couldn't know, but that lock would hardly stop him when he decided to leave.
"I've bad news for you I'm afraid," Verjl informed him. "The boy's gone. He's no longer at that camp."
Qui-Gon tensed. "Gone? Where? What happened?"
"I don't know," Verjl shrugged off the Jedi's concern. "They are not notorious for their record-keeping down there. All I could learn is that he is no longer in the camp."
"What does that mean?" Qui-Gon asked, not at all sure he wanted to know. *Obi-Wan...*
"It could mean anything," Verjl responded calmly. "He could have been transferred, he could have been sent out on a separate work detail like you were, he could have been released," Verjl doubted that one, "Or he could be dead." Verjl studied Qui-Gon's face for a moment. The Jedi remained composed, just like always, but in his eyes Verjl could see that this Obi-Wan had meant a lot to the big man in front of him.
"I probably have the connections to find out which of those is true, and perhaps, barring the chance that he is dead, which I must warn you is a good possibility," Verjl said pointedly, "Bring him here. But I need something of you in return." Too late to turn back now, Verjl plunged ahead with the plan he had been mulling over since he found out that Qui-Gon was a Jedi.
The administrator closed the door and pushed a hidden button on the collar of his shirt that would disrupt anyone trying to eavesdrop electronically. "I spent all last night reading every resource I could find about Jedi. What I read has led me to believe that your kind are trustworthy, are they? Are you?" Verjl was deadly earnest.
Qui-Gon nodded, equally as sincere. "They are, and I am."
Verjl sighed silently. "I hope so Jinn, because what I am about to tell you signs my death warrant if not. You were right about me yesterday. I first joined the Drojans because I believed in what I thought was their goal, the unity of all of Driosnia. When I realized what was really going on, it was too late. I love my planet but the Krallnorn is destroying it, killing our people, brainwashing our youth, it must be stopped. In one week I am going to be on a ship, supposedly flying to arrange a meeting with a chem&bio weapons dealer for the Krallnorn, he seems obsessed with obtaining weapons capable of even greater destruction," Verjl shook his head in disgust. "But the true purpose of my trip is to meet with a Republic representative. I must convince them that the Republic has to step in, or Driosnia will destroy itself, and its destruction will reach out to engulf other planets and systems nearby. Ruling Driosnia is not enough for the Krallnorn, even now he has his sights set on the surrounding system. This must be stopped now." Verjl knew the great risk he took in revealing this to anyone, but it was a chance he had to take. "Unfortunately, the Krallnorn trusts no one, especially not those like me, who are considered second only to him. I fear I may already have a traitor in my inner circle. I do not foresee disaster, but I will not do my planet any good if I am betrayed *before* I can get on that ship. I am going to make you one of my aides; you will accompany me everywhere. This will enable you to help me search for your missing friend, and it will enable me to draw on those keen observation skills you used on me yesterday. I ask nothing of you but that you stay with me and watch the people I interact with, search their souls like you did mine, and tell me if they are traitors or not."
Qui-Gon considered this proposition. It did not require very much of him, and he was desperate to find Obi-Wan... "I cannot promise that I will be able to see as much as you hope I can. It is not always so easy to tell what is in someone's heart right away, especially if they are good at concealing it. But if I sense any traces of deception or treachery I will certainly tell you," he agreed.
"That will be good enough," Verjl hesitated. "There is one more thing. The ship I am to take will be crawling with the Krallnorn's men; they will be watching me every moment. It is probable that I will not be able to simply sneak off for my rendezvous and sneak back unobserved. In all likeliness, it will have to be a complete break. I will not be returning to Driosnia. When I leave, I will take you and your boy with me. Your opinion will doubtless carry much weight with the Republic, perhaps even more than mine."
It sounded fine, but Qui-Gon could tell that Verjl was hesitant about something. "That would be greatly appreciated Administrator, but you are not happy about something?"
Verjl smiled wryly. "And you say you can't read what people are thinking?" he shook his head. "I will do my best, but there is no guarantee that we will be able to find your young friend before I must leave."
Qui-Gon nodded slowly. "I understand that Administrator. If we cannot, then I shall simply keep looking for him by myself." Verjl shook his head, his dark eyes sad. "No, I'm sorry, but that's just it. You *must* accompany me when I leave. I do not yet know if the Republic will listen to me. The instant the Krallnorn knows I have betrayed him, he will sully my record and do everything possible to discredit me to the Republic. I have seen him do it before and it worked. My word alone may not be enough, but they would have to think twice before challenging the word of a Jedi..." Verjl trailed off. Qui-Gon was already shaking his head.
"I would like nothing better than to do whatever I could to help this planet, but I will not abandon Obi-Wan, I am sorry," he refused.
"I'm sorry too Jinn, because unless you promise me that you will be on that ship, with, or without the boy, then the whole deal is off," Verjl said firmly. "Alone, you stand no chance of finding him. And even if you did, what could you do by yourself? I know you Jedi are special, but I don't know if even you could single handedly pull off a rescue from the camps. And if by some miracle you did, where would you go? There's no way off planet that the Drojan's don't control. I don't think that even you could go up against the entire Drojan army. Your best chance, if we don't find the young man before we have to leave, is to appeal to the Republic with me, then you can return with whatever they send to quell the situation..."
"Obi-Wan could be dead by then," Qui-Gon said, his voice tight because he knew that Verjl spoke the truth. His chances of rescuing Obi-Wan on his own were very slim at best, especially since Obi-Wan's blindness would hamper and slow them down even if he *could* find him.
"He could be dead now," Verjl pointed out, not meaning to be cruel. "In that case your staying behind would be a pointless sacrifice and possibly condemn thousands more to die the way he did if the Republic won't listen to me." Verjl could see the struggle in Qui-Gon's eyes. He would not wish this kind of choice on anyone, but life here was full of hard choices. He himself was giving up everything for this effort. "It is hard, but you must decide what is more important to you. One life, or thousands?"
Qui-Gon flinched inside. He knew what his response should be, he knew where his duty lay, but his heart cried out that he had a duty to Obi-Wan too.
"Besides, all this concern may be totally unnecessary," Verjl pointed out. "It is quite probable that he was simply transferred to another camp and I'll have him out tomorrow, but I must have your word. I am giving up everything for this Jinn, my position, my family, my goods, my planet and maybe even my life. Some goals require sacrifice. You must ask yourself if it is one you can justify or not. I won't try to tell you what to choose, just the consequences of those choices."
There was a long, silent pause. The silence was so loud it was deafening. "Well?" Verjl asked at last. "If we are going to do this, the sooner we start, the better chance we'll have of finding your friend."
Qui-Gon wrestled a moment longer before he finally nodded. "Very well Administrator. We will do it your way." He felt as if he were betraying his apprentice, yet really, this was his best chance to save him.
"Then I have your word? You'll be on that ship with me in a week, no matter what?" Verjl pressed.
Qui-Gon tried to shake off the apprehension that weighted his heart. They would just have to find Obi-Wan in time. They *had* to. He allowed himself to think of no other option. "You have my word," Qui-Gon promised.
TBC...
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