Title: Lost Light
By: Cassia
Email: cassia_a@hotmail.com
Category: Story, Drama, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Rating: PG (violence)
Spoilers: Minor ones for the JA books
Archive: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years & Qui-Gon Fic
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars characters are the
exclusive property of George Lucas. All others belong to me.
I have no official permission to use these characters, but
I'm not being paid for it either, so that's okay.
Feedback: Yes Please!
Time Frame: 10 years before TMP. Obi-Wan is 15.
Summary: What was supposed to be an investigative mission goes
terribly awry, leaving Obi-Wan blind and Qui-Gon injured. Now
the two handicapped Jedi must try to survive the harsh and brutal
Drojan Death Camps while the fate of a planet hangs in the balance...
Sheena hummed a soft tune to herself as she folded shirts,
tunics and pants, putting them in even piles, sorted by
combination. She certainly didn't mind this assignment. It
sure beat cleaning toilets, which she would otherwise be
doing. Her Master came out of the back room and she quickly
fell silent.
"Don't stop Sheena," he said, his dark eyes regarding her kindly. "That's pretty." He placed another heap of clothing on the bed for her to sort.
Sheena blushed. He always called her by name, she like that. It made her feel a little more like a real person instead of the object, or creature that all the other Driosnians made her out to be. It was a wonder that someone in his position cared enough to remember her name, what with her being not only a slave, but an Inui as well. She didn't know his first name, but she secretly thought him one of the handsomest men she'd ever met, even if he was a Driosnian, and a party member at that.
She had been the Administrators slave for over four years, traveling from place to place as his business took him all over Driosnia. She was not fond of this latest place. It was so huge, much bigger than usual. That's why they had had to bring in the extra slaves from the camps to augment his usual retinue. They were really on quite friendly terms for being master and servant.
One of the things that Sheena especially hated about this new place was that she had not seen Verjl at all since arriving here three weeks ago. He had been so busy, and there was always so much work for her to do. Before this place she had rarely been abused or beaten while in her Master's service. The Administrator was a distant man, but he did not mistreat his slaves. The overseers that were over her now were cruel and punished the slaves harshly at the slightest provocation. Now it looked as if her Master were going away again. "Where are you going this time Master?" she asked quietly.
"On another mission for the Krallnorn Sheena," Verjl replied, sorting through the piles of clothing she was folding, deciding what to bring.
"Are we to be moved again Sir?" she asked hopefully.
"No," her Master shook his dark head. "I'm afraid not. I am going alone this time."
"Oh, how long will you be gone?" Sheena was always a little timid around him, but he never seemed to mind talking with her, at least, not if they were alone.
"I don't know," he shook his head. He smiled faintly at her. "You're not going to miss me, are you Sheena?"
"I've missed you since we got here Master," Sheena murmured softly, and instantly regretted it. She had never spoken to him that way before.
Verjl just smiled and went back to packing. He hadn't really noticed, but he realized he had missed her too. He had become accustomed to her constant, if somewhat shy, conversation and the music of her humming while she worked. He had taken her years ago to save her from being placed in a despicable camp brothel after the rest of her family was killed before her eyes. Although she had exhibited an understandable bitterness towards Driosnians, especially Dojans, she had eventually stopped directing that hate at him. Verjl couldn't understand how the Krallnorn could stir up such loathing towards her people. He had been no different at first, but, partly because of Sheena, he had found that the Inui were remarkably like everyone else.
Sheena busied herself so she would not keep glancing over to look at Verjl. She knew that logically, she should hate him. He had made her his slave; he worked for the people who killed her mother, father and brother. But he was also the only person for four years who had treated her like a sentient being and seemed undisturbed by the color of her skin. Even the other slaves snubbed her because of her race, except Obi- Wan of course...
Obi-Wan! He had been told to report for a construction duty assignment in the east wing right before she had been called away to help the Master. Since she had found out about his disability a few days ago, she had taken it upon herself to look out for him, often switching jobs with him when he was sent on errands so that he did not have to try to navigate.
For this, Obi-Wan was eternally grateful. But now she suddenly remembered something she had forgotten in her gladness at the idea of being sent for by the Master. The halls leading to the east wing had been closed due to the construction. A person had to exit the building and take the outside route to get to the area that Obi-Wan had been sent to. If you tried to follow the halls, you would end up getting re-routed into the restricted areas of the east wing where slaves were not allowed. Unfortunately, as she had just recalled, the way was not barred, only marked as restricted. Obi-Wan would not know! Her face paled. She had to warn him!
"Master," she said suddenly. "May I please be excused for a moment, only just for a moment? I'll be right back," she asked.
"What's wrong Sheena?" Verjl asked, noting the faint alarm in her eyes.
"Nothing, I just remembered something. Please Master, just a moment and I'll be back," she implored.
"All right Sheena, go ahead," he permitted and she hurried away.v Sheena ran down the halls, her feet fairly flying. She feared she might already be too late.
Obi-Wan moved forward uncertainly. He knew he hadn't left the hall he had been following, but he didn't feel as if he was going in the right direction. Suddenly a hand clamped down on his shoulder and stopped him.
"You, slave, what do you think you're doing? Where's your clearance?" a harsh voice demanded.
"Clearance?" Obi-Wan asked, his stomach knotting as he realized he must once again have ended up somewhere he shouldn't be.
"Clearance stupid!" the guard shook Obi-Wan so hard he made the young Jedi's teeth rattle. "This is a restricted area, slaves aren't allowed!"
"What have you got there soldier?" Brun Owskar asked, rounding the corner and seeing Obi-Wan with the two guards.
"A Slave with no clearance," the man reported, shoving Obi-Wan up against the wall.
"Please, I didn't realize I was in the wrong place, I was trying to get to the east wing," Obi-Wan tried to explain around the hand that rested heavily against his throat.
"Liar!" the soldier snapped, socking Obi-Wan in the stomach. Obi-Wan doubled over, but the guards pushed him back against the wall again.
"Another spy eh?" Brun said with great interest. "Are you a resistance member too boy?" Brun took Obi-Wan's chin in his hand, tilting it up. "What are you doing here? What are you after?" he demanded.
"Nothing," Obi-Wan shook his head helplessly, but he knew from experience that he would not be believed.
Brun's hard fist jerked Obi-Wan's head to the side. "Try again boy," he commanded roughly.
"It's the truth!" Obi-Wan clung to his innocence. "The construction confused me, I got lost."
Brun struck the teenager again, viciously. His knuckles cut Obi-Wan's lip, making blood trickle down the boy's chin. Another fist slammed into Obi-Wan's stomach, pulled back, punched him again, and again, leaving him gasping for breath.
"Sir," one of the guards holding Obi-Wan spoke up after a few moments. "Shouldn't we inform the Administrator about the spy?"
Brun wiped Obi-Wan's blood off his knuckles, and shook his head. "No need to disturb the Administrator until we have something to tell him," Brun said. He did not want to give the scenario of earlier that week a chance to repeat itself, not until he had gotten some answers out of the boy, and some of those answers involved his Uncle.
Brun grabbed Obi-Wan by the roots of his short hair. Tipping the boy's chin skyward again. "Listen to me spy," he growled menacingly, only three inches from Obi-Wan's face. "This can go easy, or it can go hard, real hard, do you understand me slave?"
Obi-Wan nodded, as much as Brun's grip on his hair let him. He understood all right, but that did him very little good. "Good," Brun let go of his hair with a shake. "Start talking. Who do you work for and what are you after?"
"I know you won't believe me, but I don't work for anyone but the owner of this house and I'm not after anything except to get to my work assignment in the east wing," Obi-Wan could do nothing but tell the truth.
"You're right boy," Brun grinned darkly. "I don't believe you." Brun's fist connected solidly with Obi-Wan's stomach once more. A blow to the jaw slammed the young Jedi's head back into the wall. For a brief moment Obi-Wan found it odd that he didn't see stars, but it was just a passing thought, before Brun's fists slammed into him again.
Obi-Wan struggled and pulled against the guards holding his arms, but it did no good. Brun was relentless, pounding the fifteen-year-old with iron fists. "Who do you work for? How long have you been here? How does the Administrator fit into this picture? What is the underground up to?" Brun's questions were as relentless as his abuse, but they seemed increasingly muffled by the fog that was starting to build around Obi-Wan as he sank down the wall under Brun's blows.
When he hit the floor the guards started in on him too.
Sheena raced down the halls, calling Obi-Wan's name. She stopped when the white paint on the walls gave way to red; the lettering clearly warning that this was a high security zone. There was no guard at the entry, but there seldom was. They were posted further down, to stop those who ignored the initial warning.
Sheena stopped, not knowing what to do. She had not seen Obi- Wan on the way, had he found his way all right? Or...
A muffled cry from down the hall made her heart skip. It sounded like Obi-Wan's voice. She edged forward uncertainly over the red line on the floor, her heart pounding. She hesitated, but another cry from around the corner goaded her on. Peeking around the edge of the wall she felt her heart drop down into her toes. Three men had Obi-Wan down on the floor and were beating him without mercy.
Brun lifted Obi-Wan's head up by his hair, looking into the teenager's bloodied face. "Don't make me angry kid," Brun growled. One of the guards kicked Obi-Wan in the side, making the boy cry out in pain.
Sheena pulled back around the corner. Leaning against the wall she bit her lip, pressing her eyes shut in an attempt to force the image out of her mind. From the other side of the corner, she heard Obi-Wan gasp and cry out softly, timed with the sickening sound of flesh striking flesh.
"I'm not going to stop until you tell me what I want to know spy," Brun threatened, dragging Obi-Wan up and having the guards pin him against the wall once more. Pulling the blaster from his holster Brun held the barrel, threatening Obi-Wan with the heavy handle.
Obi-Wan's head swam and his breathing heaved raggedly. He struggled against the helplessness that engulfed him, but he couldn't fight it this time. He *was* helpless. Even if he could have gotten away from Brun and the guards, what would he do? Where would he go? Running was one thing he had never tried to do without his eyes, and if he couldn't even find his way from one wing to the other, what chance did he have of getting away? Despair got him at last and he accepted that he was going to die. It didn't really matter, he supposed. This proved to him that he could never become a Knight without his eyes, couldn't even be a real Jedi, and if that was taken away from him, his life was meaningless.
"I'm not a spy," Obi-Wan mumbled, his voice thick with pain. "I can't tell you what I don't know."
Sheena heard a sharp thud, followed by an anguished cry. She couldn't stand it. Obi-Wan was just a boy, one who was coping incredibly well with a debilitating disability; he'd done nothing to deserve this kind of punishment. She knew Brun, he was ruthless. He would beat the boy to death if Obi-Wan did not tell him what he wanted. And Obi-Wan could not.
Sheena clenched her fists at her sides. She was not going to let that happen, but knew that trying to talk to Brun would get her nowhere but in trouble for being in this area herself. Turning, she hurried back down the hall towards the Administrators rooms. She had never dared to ask him for anything before, but with Obi-Wan's life at stake, she had to at least try.
Verjl was stacking clothes in his travel-case when Sheena burst through the door, panting for breath, her silvery cheeks flushed. "Good grief, Sheena you look like you've run a mile, what's wrong?" he asked, straightening up with concern.
"Please sir, please, I need your help! He's done nothing wrong, he didn't know he was in the wrong place, don't let them kill him!" Sheena panted out, a trifle incoherently.
"Slow down Sheena," Verjl tried to calm the young woman. "What are you talking about? Who's going to kill who?"
"Brun, he's beating one of the slaves. Obi didn't mean it, but they're killing him! Please Master," she implored.
The Administrator's face darkened. "Come," he said simply, leaving the room at a quick trot. He still didn't completely understand what Sheena was trying to tell him, but he got the drift. It wouldn't be the first time he had had to stop Brun from mistreating the servants.
Verjl glanced sharply at Sheena when he realized where they were heading. "Sheena, this area is restricted, how-"
But Sheena was already ahead of him, her haste imploring that he hurry as well. Turning the corner, Verjl saw Brun, the guards, and the nearly unconscious slave. All of them except Obi-Wan looked up when the Administrator came into view.
"What's this Brun?" Verjl inquired calmly. "More trouble?"
"Sir," Brun straightened up, releasing the hold he had on Obi- Wan's shirt collar, letting the boy's head loll forward. "We caught this slave spying, sir. He refuses to admit to it, or reveal what he was after."
Verjl shot a hard glance at Sheena. She had said nothing about the boy being a spy, and what were either of them doing in this area in the first place?
Sheena twisted the cuff of her sleeve. "He's not a spy sir, I know him, I know he's not."
When Obi-Wan heard Sheena's voice he lifted his head a little. "Sheena?" he more mouthed than said, his voice a hoarse whisper.
Verjl studied the boy. He couldn't be much over sixteen, if that old, but the Administrator had seen younger children than this boy die horrible deaths for their involvement with the underground. Still, Sheena had never proven herself untrustworthy to him before...
"Are you a spy boy?" Verjl inquired, standing in front of Obi- Wan.
"No, sir," Obi-Wan replied in the same husky voice.
"Then what were you doing in here?" Verjl tried to catch the young man's eyes. It disturbed him that he could not.
Obi-Wan leaned his throbbing head back against the wall, closing his eyes. "I got lost." He didn't expect this man to believe him any more than the others had. He was almost in too much pain to care.
"Lost?" Verjl's dark eyes narrowed skeptically. "Look," the Administrator said firmly. "I'm a fair man, but you have to be honest with me. What were you doing here?"
"I am being honest with you," Obi-Wan was so tired of this conversation. He seemed to keep having it over and over, and it never made a difference. "I got lost. Please sir, I'm telling you the truth!" Obi-Wan was desperate for someone to believe him.
Verjl was puzzled. Something about the boy smacked of honesty to him, but...
"How is that possible?" he demanded, still trying to catch Obi-Wan's averted eyes. "Look me in the eye slave," he said, a trifle sharply.
Obi-Wan tried, tried to imagine where the man's eyes were, tried to use the Force to guide him, but he was too worn out and worked over, he couldn't make their gazes meet.
Verjl's jaw tightened. "If you won't be honest with me I'll give you back to Brun and we'll see what he and these other men can get out of you," he threatened.
Obi-Wan moaned softly without meaning to do so.
"Please Master," Sheena interjected. "Obi-Wan is telling you the truth. He did get lost, and he didn't see the signs because, because he's blind sir," she blurted out, almost without thinking.
Obi-Wan stiffened. *"Sheena! You promised!"* he groaned to himself. He was dead for sure now.
*"I'm sorry Obi-Wan,"* Sheena thought miserably, but she could think of no other way to explain this.
"Blind," Verjl echoed in disbelief.
"That's a bold-faced lie!" Brun declared indignantly. "Sir, it's impossible that the boy is blind. If what he says is true, he's been working here for over a week, and before that he was in the camps," that much of Obi-Wan's story Brun had learned from him during the beating. "They don't keep blind people there!"
No, they didn't. But something inside Verjl told him that this would not be the first person he had seen survive the camps with a normally debilitating injury. *A week, from the camps...* Suddenly something Sheena had said registered in his mind.
"What's your name boy?" he inquired, a strange feeling creeping through his bones.
"Kenobi sir. Obi-Wan Kenobi."
*Obi-Wan Kenobi.* Verjl shook his head. The boy had been right under their noses this whole time! He could kick himself for missing the obvious for so long. Instead, he motioned the guards away from Obi-Wan.
When the guards let go, Obi-Wan nearly slid to his knees, but steadied himself against the wall.
"This is an easy matter to settle," Verjl said calmly. "Let's take the boy down to Dr. Wren. He should be able to tell us if he is truly blind or not."
The issue was quickly resolved when the doctor concurred that Obi-Wan's eyes, although visibly un-scarred, were indeed damaged to the point of uselessness. Although it saved his life, the affirmation of his problem and the definitive way the Doctor declared him damaged and blind numbed Obi-Wan's heart.
"Hm," Verjl said thoughtfully. "Can it be corrected?"
Dr. Wren shook his head. "I doubt it. The damage is too extensive, and too old."
In Obi-Wan's already weakened state the blow was devastating. That was it then. There was no reversing this. He was going to be blind forever. The young Jedi slid numbly off the examining table. His injuries made him unsteady, but the pain in his heart easily equaled that in the rest of his body.
"Be careful not to be over zealous Brun," Verjl warned as they prepared to take their leave. "Just because you caught one traitor does not mean that you should jump to the conclusion that all are traitors."
"Yes, sir," the young man said clippedly.
"Very good," Verjl dismissed him. With Sheena and Obi-Wan in tow, he headed back once more toward his quarters. "Are you all right?" he asked Obi-Wan once they were alone.
"I will be," Obi-Wan said quietly, but he wasn't sure he believed himself. "Thank you sir."
"Thank Sheena," Verjl brushed Obi-Wan's gratitude aside. He reflected how very close he had come to missing the boy and felt quite thankful himself.
Once inside his rooms, Verjl sat Obi-Wan down in a chair and had Sheena get some water to clean him up a little.
Obi-Wan wondered why this man was being so nice to him. Sheena had said their Master was a good man, but Obi-Wan had almost forgotten that people could be anything other than cruel and uncaring.
While Sheena washed Obi-Wan's injuries, Verjl punched the wall comlink on the other side of the room. "Send Jinn up here," he ordered.
Obi-Wan grimaced and flinched as Sheena's cloth cleaned his painful cuts and bruises, but suddenly another feeling came to him. Someone was approaching the room. No, not just *someone...*
Obi-Wan was on his feet in an instant. The sudden motion made his head swim nauseatingly, but he pushed it away.
Sheena jumped back in surprise. "Obi?" she asked, but the look on his face told her that he was not paying attention to anything that she could see, hear or understand.
Suddenly the door swooshed open and a tall man with long brown hair hurried through it on long strides. Qui-Gon had felt Obi- Wan all the way down the hall. This close, nothing could keep them from sensing one another's presence.
"Master!" Obi-Wan's voice cracked slightly, only this time, it had nothing to do with the pain of the injuries that Brun and the others had inflicted on him.
Qui-Gon did not bother wasting the time of speaking Obi-Wan's name, but wrapped his casted arms around his apprentice as the boy reached out, searching eagerly for the big Jedi.
Sheena felt strangely choked up.
Obi-Wan held onto Qui-Gon tightly for a moment, savoring the feeling of safety and comfort that that flowed between them. Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's relief and matched it with his own. "I thought I'd lost you Padawan," he said softly, giving Obi-Wan a light squeeze. He held the boy close, but gently because he could feel the pain in his Padawan's body.
"You'll never guess who I found right under our noses Jinn," Verjl remarked with a soft smile. "All this time we've been looking for him he was right here."
The irony was not lost on Qui-Gon, but also it disturbed him more than a little. How could he and Obi-Wan have been so close this whole time and never felt even a flicker of the other's presence?
Obi-Wan wavered slightly. He could feel his pulse pounding painfully in the swollen knot behind his left ear, the one that Brun had given him with the blunt end of his blaster. The spinning in his head was getting worse, but Obi-Wan refused to let it ruin the moment.
"Thank you Administrator," the big Jedi said, his eyes thanking Verjl far more than his words ever could.
"Like I told your young friend, the thanks goes to Sheena. I would not have found him but for her," Verjl deferred once more.
Qui-Gon's warm eyes turned on the Inui woman, melting her on the spot.
"You didn't exactly level with me Jinn," Verjl said in mild reprove. "You didn't tell me the boy was blind, but the injuries are old. Didn't quite trust me eh?"
"It never came up Administrator," Qui-Gon replied, unperturbed. Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan a last squeeze and released him. Obi-Wan took an uncertain step backward, the pounding in his head turning into a deafening hammer. The young Jedi wavered for a moment, then his knees buckled and he collapsed.
Qui-Gon caught the Padawan before he hit the floor and Sheena hurried to help him. The last memory Obi-Wan had was the vague notion of being lifted and the cool feel of the quilt below him as he was laid upon the Administrator's bed.
TBC
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