"DL," Alexa whispered. "DL, wake up."
She gave Dragon Lady a little shake.
"Mmmm...what is it," DL asked in a groggy voice.
"Pierre escaped."
"What?" DL was still half asleep and wasnit sure if she had heard right.
"Pierre escaped."
"Escaped! What do you mean 'escaped,'" shrieked DL.
"Shhhh," Alexa tried to hush DL. "I donit want the Master to find out."
"You and me both, Sister." DL had lowered her voice "How could you let him escape? If Methos finds out about Pierre, we're screwed. We can kiss Crescent City good-bye, and Goddess only know what else heill do..."
"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know," Alexa said. "I donit know what happened. I was feeling kind of lonely and went to the closet to get Pierre, and he was gone."
"Oh brother." DL definitely didnit want to deal with an escaped French goalie. She was still recovering from the Syndi-con Consolation Party, and her bed was the most appealing thing at the moment.
"Whereis Tree," she asked after a moment.
"With Methos. Remember? Tonightis her night."
DL groaned a little. They could really use Treeis help, but it would be tough getting her out of the Masteris bedroom without the Master noticing.
"All right," she said. "I'll get Tree and round up the Basement through third floor party-goers; you take the rest and we'll meet in the Library for an emergency meeting."
They left the attic to begin the round up. Dragon Lady had a hard time getting Tree free. She had been entangled with the Master like an insect in a spideris web. After some careful manipulation of body parts, Tree was freed and DL filled her in on the situation. They woke their Sisters, and within twenty minutes, the Party-Goers Division of the Methos Harem had gathered together for a late night meeting. When DL finished explaining the reason behind being dragged out of their beds, the Ladies glowered at Alexa.
"I'm sorry," Alexa said, eyes cast down, desperately wishing she had never "practiced" with the French Soccer Team at the party.
"It's okay. What's done is done," Tree said to Alexa, and then to everyone else, "No one objected when Alexa said she was keeping the goalie, so weire all responsible."
"The question is," DL interjected, "what are we going to do about it."
"What about Wally? I bet she could find him," Teri suggested.
"No can do," Wally's Familiar said, "I haven't seen her since she saved our butts after the party."
"Well," I said DL, "let's divide into groups of three and begin a search of the grounds."
The divided into groups, grabbed some flashlights and headed to different parts of the Chateau and its grounds. Alexa, joined by Dragon Lady and Tree, headed to the north end of the estate.
The north end of the estate consisted of thick woods which blocked out any light from the moon. The ladies were happy to have their flashlights. They split up, but tried not to venture to far from one another.
"Pierre," they alternately yelled in whispers. They slowly creeped through the woods, trying not to disturb its serenity.
"Wait. Do you hear that?" Alexa had stopped in her tracks and was straining to hear something.
"Here what," DL asked.
"The music".
"Yeah, I hear it. It is coming from over there," Tree said.
They followed the music deep into the woods until they came across a warm melting light eminating from a cave. The music was coming from within.
"I didnit know there were any caves around here," Tree said.
"Neither did I," DL responded. "Come on. Letis go in."
As they entered the cave, the not so distant sound of a saxophone began to play "Scherazade." The cave was cold and dimly lit. They followed the wall of the cave and as the music became louder, the light became brighter. The source of the light was a small antechamber at the end of the cave. When the Ladies entered the chamber, they stopped dead in their track with their jaws hanging open and eyes popping out of their heads.
Mike was sitting on a rock, leaning up against the cave wall. He was naked, except for a pair of the Masteris blue silk boxer shorts which he had nabbed from the cloths line. On his chest, bright blue frosting streaked across his chest like war paint. A bandanna across his forehead pushed tufts of hair up into little spikes. Around his neck was strapped a saxophone, on which is was playing.
Mike stopped his rendition of "Scherazade" and looked up.
"Ladies, I'm so happy you could join the Love Muffin and me."
The Ladies' eyes drifted from Mike and across the cave floor where empty bottles of beer, playing cards and items of clothing were indiscriminately strewn. Their eyes rested upon Pierre, clad only in a loincloth, lying on one of patches' quilts. He was propped up on his elbow and watching Mike.
"Loincloth," Tree asked, completely baffled. "What's Pierre doing in a loincloth?"
"What is the matter, Kitten," asked Mike. "Don't you like it? I'm going to ask him to wear one everyday of the week."
"I like it just fine, but why did you dress him in a loincloth?"
"Ah, Tree? That wasn't, umm...that wasn't Mike. That was, ahh, me. I put him in the loincloth," Alexa said, her face turning a deep shade of red.
"And itis not 'Mike' anymore. From now on, you may address me as 'Nuuuwaaaaandaaaaa.'" And with that, Nuwanda gave a little blow on his sax.
"Nuwanda," the Ladies asked in unison and complete astonishment.
"Nuuuwaaaaadaaaaa," he confirmed. "Didn't you see 'Dead Poets Soiety?' Oh, and my friend over there is now called 'The Love Muffin.'"
"You been nipping at Athena's Cuervo again," DL asked.
Nuwanda grew an evil grin and said, "What I have is better than Cuervo."
Just at that moment, Cassieho seemed to appear out of nowhere and slithered her naked body over to Nuwanda. She began to run her long white Lee-Press-On nails down his chest, then looked at the Ladies and let out a long, vicious hiss.
Nuwanda let out, from deep within his throat, what sounded like a long purr.
"WOO-HOO! WHO NEEDS CUERVO GOLD WHEN THERE'S CASSIEHO TO HOLD" he shouted out.
Cassieho started to nibble on Nuwanda's ear, and he closed his eyes in ecstasy, releasing a long groaning noise.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Tree said, looking a little green.
"Yeah, me too," Alexa said. "Thank the Goddess it can't get any worse than this."
THWWWAAAACK!
The Ladies heard the crack of a whip and turned to see a familiar figure standing before them.
"Honey, it just got worse," DL said.
Dr. Anne was wearing a rather skimpy dominatrix outfit. She wore stiletto heel thigh high boots with fishnet stockings. On her body was a leather thong one piece bustier with enough chains and locks to give Houdini nightmares. Around her neck was a black studded dog collar which matched the black studded police hat propped on her head.
She stood in front of the Ladies with one hand on her hip and the other clutching a very long and very scary looking whip.
"Well, well, well. Look at what we have here." Dr. Anne leered.
"Wh-what are you doing here," DL stammered, obviously shocked and appalled by the sight she saw.
"You didn't think I'd be that easy to get rid of, did you?" Dr. Anne spoke with a sickeningly sweet voice. "Dunkie-pooh was MINE! He would still be mine if you little trollops hadn't enticed him with your slutty Harem games. Well, now it is my turn."
Dr. Anne snapped her fingers and Nuwanda and the Love Muffin scramble on all fours to get to her feet. Much to the disgust of the Ladies, Nuwanda and the Love Muffin began to lick Dr. Anne's boots.
"You see girls," the dominatrix doctor said smiling, "They're mine now. And soon I'll have them all. Dunkie, Richie, Joe, and yes, oh yes, Methos too! Maaaawaaaaawaaaa!"
The scream came from deep within Alexa's being, consisting of the only word she could muster.
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Oh thank the Goddess," she thought. "It was only a dream."
Mike was in his cottage, Cassieho was tucked away in the dungeon, Pierre was in the closet, and Dr. Anne was far, far away in Seacouver.
Then, for the same reason children look under their beds after a nightmare, Alexa got out of bed and walked over to her closet. She slowly opened the door and found the closet to be ominously empty. Sudden fear clenched her stomach as the distant sound of "Scherazade" on sax came floating through her open window.
last revised--5/19/97
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