Clerks.(a film by Kevin Smith)

It's January 12, 1999.I have neglected this page for about 3 months, and it appears that I will continue to do so.The sad truth is that(gasp!)I have a social life. I never said it was very enjoyable, but it is a social life nonetheless, and less important things (such as this page you are viewing) take a back seat when it comes to scoring. In addition to that, I am redesigning the look of this page, since it currently resembles the product of a drunk sociopath who spends his days locked in a room without a window while listening to the Cure (a fine band I might add). Of course, the drastic improvements I have planned take time and hard work. Since I am a lazy bastard, do not expect this page to change any time soon. The issue of Dante's mortality has finally been settled. The theater release and videotape version of Clerks end with Dante closing up the store after Randal leaves. The laserdisc version has the original ending, in which Dante is shot by John(the burner who had been talking to Jay and Silent Bob). About six or seven people have e-mailed me about this, so I will ask the rest of you to stop. I'll post their names up on this site at a later date.

One final note:in the autobiography of Jay, I mentioned that he(the character Jay, not Jason Mewes,the guy who plays Jay)used to date Alanis Morisette. I've gotten a few questions about that. If you want to know what I was talking about,on the View Askew website they have video clips from Jay and Silent Bob's Video Stash which aired on MTV. One of those clips explains the whole situation. I'm tired of typing.Just read the rest of the page and go home happy.

Dante"I'm not dead,good for me!"Hicks(Brian O'Hallorian)

Dante Hicks is your average working man with unusual problems.He wants to get back together with his ex-girlfriend Caitlin, who cheated on him eight and a half times(once with Alyssia Jones). His present girlfriend,Veronica,goes out of her way to help him, but Dante can't deal with the fact that she "went down" on 37 guys. Plus, his buddy Randal keeps scaring away the customers.In the Clerks holiday special (a comic book), he goes to visit Caitlin,who's still in a coma at the hospital.There, Dante spreads some "holiday cheer" in a very disturbing way.

Randal(Jeff Anderson)

Randal Graves is the clerk for RST Video, which is next door to the QUIK Stop.He is also Dante's best friend.Though often annoying, he does what he thinks will help Dante out and improve the quality of his life in some way. All while harassing the customers.His cousin Brodie Bruce is shown in Mallrats.

Caitlin(Lisa Spoonauer)

Caitlin Bree is Dante's ex-girlfriend, who comes back to visit him when an ad in the paper is placed by her mother which says that she is marrying an Asian design major.She came back to tell Dante that the report was false.They get ready to go out on a date, but something happens(you'll have to see the movie to find out)and Caitlin is taken to the hospital.In "Chasing Amy", we learn that Caitlin was later committed to an insane asylum.

Veronica(Marilyn Ghigliotti)

Veronica is Dante's current girlfriend at the beginning of the movie.She wants him to quit his job, go back to school with her, and look for a better future than in a convenience store.When Randal tells Veronica about Dante seeing Caitlin, she is overwhelmed with anger.After repeatedly kicking Dante in the shins until he falls down, she dumps him.

Jay and Silent Bob(Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith)

The Somnombulic Duo, Jay and Silent Bob are a pair of fun-lovin' weed dealers that appear in all three movies.In Clerks, they hang out in front of the stores in the Leonardo section of town(including the Quik Stop).While mainly used for comic relief, their conversation with Dante near the end of the movie helps Dante to realize that he is really in love with Veronica. Of course, Veronica dumps Dante right after this, so it's a moot point.In this scene, Silent Bob speaks for the only time.

The Quik Stop

RST Video

Apparently there's an apartment between these two stores.Who lives inside it, and why is it so important to Randal? Read the Clerks Holiday Special, damnit!I'm not going to tell you!