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| Marge: "Homer, how on Earth are the kids going to get home?" Homer: "I Dunno... Internet?" - Manutreble Homer: "There, there. Shut up boy." - Antone Homer: "Wanna donut?" Lisa: "Don't you have any fruit?" Homer: "This one has purple stuff inside, Purple is a fruit." - Chrissy Principal Skinner: "Oh, good gray!" Cafeteria Guy: "Oh, thank you! It's just brown and gravy." - Chrissy Apu: "I will express my love to sweet Manjula." Homer: "Mmm, sweet mint julep... I'll be at moes!" - Chrissy Jimbo: "You kissed a girl! That is so gay." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Homer: "Apu, this hotdog tastes different." Apu: "Yes, I just cleaned out the grease catcher so the treat you are enjoying has not been soaked in its own putrid filfth." Homer: "Yeah, but without all of the grease all you can taste in the hog anus." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Pimple Faced Boy: "We need some more secret sause. Someone put this mayonnaise in the sun." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Bart: "I'm glad we're stranded. It'll be just like 'Swiss Family Robinson,' only with a lot more cursing. We're gonna live like kings... damn hell ass kings!" - Eau Hellz Gnaw Pachenko: "Pachenko must return to play in football game." Dr. Hibbert: "I'm afraid your playing days are over. But you can always fall bacl on your degree in... Communications? Dear Lord! Pachenko: "I know, I know, is phony major. Pachenko learn nothing! Nothing!!!" - Eau Hellz Gnaw Marge: "Do you ever drink alone?" Homer: "Does the lord count?"- Eau Hellz Gnaw Bart: "How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid?" - Eau Hellz Gnaw Marge: "I heard about a club where men dance with men. Isn't that adorable?" Homer: "Well sure, if it's true." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Comic Book Guy: "How do you feel about 35 year old virgins who still live with their parents?" Girl: "Comb the SweetTarts out of your beard and you're on." Comic Book Guy: "Don't try to change me baby." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Leonard Nemoy: "The folowing tales are absolutely true... and by true, I mean false. But they are entertaining. And in the end, isn't that what truth is all about? The answer is no." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Homer: "When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead, it was dark and disturbing, like the movie Police Academy." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Lisa: "Maybe I can't concentrate because of all of your cooties?" Milhouse: "It's called 'lice' and it's nothing to be ashamed of." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Homer: "Old people second class citizens? What about Social Security, bus discounts, Medic-Alert jewelry, Gold Bond powder, pants all the way up to your armpits, and all those other senior perks. If you ask me, you old folks have it pretty sweet!" - Eau Hellz Gnaw Bart: "These shorts suck!" Marge: "Bart, where did you learn that type of language?" Homer: (on the phone) "Yeah, Moe, they sure did suck last night. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." Marge: "Homer!" Homer: "Oh, I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening." - Eau Hellz Gnaw Homer: "Oh, Lord, why do you mock me?" Marge: "That's not God.That's just a waffle Bart threw up there." (Later) Homer: "I know I shouldn't eat thee but... mmm... sacrilicious!" - Eau Hellz Gnaw Ralph: "Hi, Lisa. Hi, Supernintendo Chalmers. I'm Learn-ding!" - Lee Millholland Lisa: "If you believe in angels then why not believe in other things such as unicorns and leprichauns?" Homer: "Oh, that's crazy talk, Lisa. Everyone knows leprichauns are extinct." - Kris Moe: " Here, how does it feel to have a sticker on your face? (puts a sticker on Duffman's face) Duffman: Oh, No! Duffman can't breathe! - Kris Nelson: (looking at MAD Magazine) "Look, they called me Smellson." Homer: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... 'Smellson,' it's funny because you smell." - Kris Homer: (Talks continuously about Thomas Edison.) Moe: "Okay, I think we've been courtious enough. So Lenny, what happened to the dame in the bathing suit?" Lenny: "Huh?... Oh, I forgot, all I can think about is Edison. I don't even remember where I work!" Homer: "Well, I remember where Edison worked.It was at Manlow Park, and his wife's name was Marilyn, and his middle name was Alva, and Oh!..." Carl: (interupting) "Ya know, James Watts invented the steam engine?" Homer: "That's boring Carl!... you're boring... stop boring everybody!" - Kris Sherry Bobbins: "You know Bart, cleaning your room can be a game." Bart: "I got a better game. It's called whippen cupcakes. Whuh!" - Kris Bart: "Well, I'm the President's no good brother... moochie, moochie!" - Kris Homer: "Ah, this virtual fudge sucks!" Marge: "Not half as good as cyber fudge." - Kris The Love-Matic Grandpa: "Tell her, her rump's as big as the Queen's and twice as fragrent!" - Kris Homer: "You know, when I was a kid, I really wanted a catchers mitt, but my dad wouldn't give it to me, so I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on the coffee table. The doctors said I might have brain damage!" Bart: "Dad, what's the point of this story?" Homer: "I like stories!" - DaFlipS1De82 Lisa: "I'm glad i'm not crying, because I wouldn't want you to think what I'm about to say is based on emotion.... You sir, are a baboon!" Homer: "Lisa, I don't think you know what you're saying!" Lisa: "Baboon, baboon, baboon!" - Chris Amut Homer: "It's not that hard being a food cricket!" - Eric Martin Homer: "Cat in the furnace. Got it!" - Eric Martin Chief Wiggum: "Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for the murders of Moe Syzlak and Apu Neha.. petam... epsil... Moe, just Moe." Eric Martin Duffman: "Hey, that brown spot needs a little H2O. Oh yeah!" - Duff Man Sherry Bobbins: "Wasted away in Maragritaville." Barney: "Searching for my lost shaker of salt... Oh, wait, here it is." - Duff Man Homer: "Lisa, may your saxaphone bring you lots of Doh!" - Duff Man Homer: "Oh, no, my pot-belled pig is in there... Mr. Porky!" - Duff Man Grandpa: "My son is not a communist. he may be an oaf, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!" - Duff Man Hans Moleman: "Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!" - Duff Man Pimple Faced Boy: "This is coming out of my salary. If I had a girlfriend she'd kill me." - Duff Man Bart: "Listen, Martin, right now I'm looking for a friend who won't leave me for a girl. Martin: "That's me. I'm just as unpopular with the ladies as I am with the chaps." - Duff Man Reiner Wolfcastle: "My eyes, the goggles, they do nothing!" - Duff Man Itchy and Scratchy Director: "We want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's in your face. You've heard the expresion 'Let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets 'biz-zay!' Consistently and thoroughly. - Duff Man |
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