From Experience - A Pure & Simple Story

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From Experience

Many of the important lessons in life that we learn are taught through good and bad experiences. Some of these experiences are very painful, yet others are very enjoyable. It's a matter of circumstances, timing and luck. I always try to see the "good" in any experience (to know better next time), even though the event, at that moment in time can cause what seems like unbearable sadness, hurt, frustration and disappointment. The experiences I'm talking about here include property loss, car theft, home damage from a natural disaster: any event where you have been a total, innocent victim and completely powerless. I don't wish this on any person, but it is a fact of life. "Shit happens"...

I have had the misfortune of having two cars broken into and one stolen within the last year. The car that was stolen was four years old and was taken right from the parking lot where I live. The car was locked, all the windows rolled up, with dark tinted glass and a built-in theft deterrent system. Didn't make any difference to the car thieves. They got the car despite all the security in the world. The car was retrieved almost a week later (abandoned) but the interior had been damaged. I had a business trip to attend in Indianapolis the following day, and had no car to go to the airport. I was still very much in shock about the car-jacking, but worse, I had been terribly inconvenienced and now had to make emergency last-minute arrangements to scramble to the airport. It was not a good week. After returning from the business trip, it took an additional week to get the car back from the body shop. The car was never the same, even after one of the best body repair jobs I have ever seen. Every time I drove it, I was reminded of that one event when the car had been stolen. It was literally "hell on wheels". I decided three months later that I had to get rid of the car.

The new car I bought was my pride and joy and still is. The car was not even two months old and somebody broke into that new car and tried to steal it, but failed. They destroyed the ignition system and stole all the contents of the car. By some miracle, they couldn't start the car, or it would have been history. Again, the doors were locked, the windows were all secured and the car was parked in a well-lit parking lot near a busy street. I never gave it a second thought that the car would be "boosted". I had already been part of that "once in a lifetime" car theft and thought that the chances of it happening again were nil. Boy was I wrong. So, here we go again. Insurance adjusters were now nervous because I had two, back-to-back, car claims. My household insurance now had a "ding" against it because I had to claim possessions under the other policy. The whole situation turned into my worst nightmare. I'm surprised I didn't just collapse from all the pain and suffering and all the feelings of personal invasion and violation. It was another bad week. If it were just the car that needed repair or replacement, I wouldn't have been all that upset. A car is just a means of transportation that can always be replaced. The real tragedy came from the fact that all my personal possessions in the car were also stolen. I had custom-built golf clubs which were my absolute pride and joy on the golf course. It had taken me two to three years to build the set the way I wanted, and now they were gone. Of course, being custom-built (and some clubs acquired without receipts), the claim became a bitter fight. I had to retrieve snapshots (from golf tournaments), ask all my golfing friends to be character witnesses and then, after all that, had the task of trying to retrace all the old purchases I had made over the years to try and substantiate the dollar value of the insurance claim. After all was said and done, I was still out of pocket almost $1,000. Not an easy lesson to learn, especially when it's not your fault and you have to fight for every dollar you get.

Many of my friends and co-workers were devastated for my lose. They couldn't believe my bad luck. Everyone knew how much my golf game and clubs meant to me and they all showed genuine compassion. I was very grateful for their concern. To my surprise, they managed to take a fast collection at work and bought me a "car club" before the very next weekend, as a gesture of support. Many people gave me sound advice and suggestions to help me get through this crisis. I would have been lost, without them. I'm a very luckyman to have such wonderful and considerate people around me.

Relying on people during a crisis can be your greatest resource. They don't have to be people whom you know well. You can lean on them. They will come to your rescue as best they can if you ask for their help. You have to be humble and truthful about your dilemma. If you show genuine appreciation, people will make your crisis much easier to swallow. Friends know you better than you think and want to see you happy again. It is one of the things that friends are for.

I know I am not the only person who has experienced this kind of horrible intervention. I'm sure there are people who have had a lot worse things happen to them. Homes that are totally destroyed along with all their personal possessions, must be devastating to a family. I cannot imagine all that pain and anguish that goes on for weeks and months from something as spontaneous or destructive as a tornado or an earthquake. My inconvenient car thefts would be trivial in comparison. I know this is just one of those things that happens and I accept that now. I constantly have to remind myself that there is always someone else who has it worse off than me. I thank my lucky stars that nothing more serious happened and that it wasn't a homicide, or a theft in progress where my life could have been in jeopardy. I just lost a few personal things and some of my valuable time.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from all this, has helped me be a more careful and cautious person. I'm now very careful about leaving possessions in my car. I now watch where I park and check to ensure the doors and windows are all sealed tight and locked before I leave this car unattended. I might have my car stolen or broken into again (it is a popular make and model) but I'll be prepared as best I can. I will not live my life with the fear of having my car stolen at any given moment in time. I cannot and will not worry about something that I have absolutely no control over. What will be, will be. I do have a life to live. If the fear still persists, I will sell the car. I have learned my lesson. It was a bitter pill to swallow and I still have an aftertaste.

I'm not saying that learning from experience has to be something painful and dramatic, as in my case. This was just an example to show you that you can grow from even the worst of calamities. Once you accept the outcome and know that everything happens for a reason, you can learn from that experience.

Pure and simple...

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- This BMG Strikers page was last updated on January 27th, 1998 -