MONSTERBASH 2003
Twenty-Four Hours Of Webmonster Goodness
  

Pittsburgh’s Monster Bash seemed like a logical destination for many of us in the HHU, as we began discussing last year what conventions we should do for 2003 (“what conventions we should do” does seem to take up a great deal of time, thought and brow-furrowing). Not only is it half-way between many of us in the Underground, but hosts are already well established and plentiful at this low-key, relaxed show.

This seemed like the perfect way, and the perfect people, to usher in the first of summer!

4:30 am – I wake up an hour and a half before the alarm goes off, and decide to go ahead and get my act together. I am shocked I got a decent night’s sleep, considering the fact that I had been to an evening screening of THE HULK, and had been thinking about going to get my copy of the new Harry Potter book when it went on sale at midnight .

I had my priorities straight – wizards and witches be damned; this weekend was about vampires and evil doctors!

5:30 am - Armed with soda, punk rock CDs and a belly full of McGriddles, I left for the drive north. The weather had been unusual the previous week, to say the least, and I seemed to hit about every imaginable element on the way up, but actually surprised myself when I made good time.

11am – I stopped a few times along the way, but all was good as I pulled into the northern Pittsburgh suburb of Butler , and into the…ahhhhh…yeah…

My fear is put to rest as I go in and quickly encounter not only old friends, but a convention atmosphere that is the family friendliest of any I have seen; there’s just something comforting about seeing guys with pierced eye-lids with their young daughters talking to Ben “Creature from the Black Lagoon” Chapman, or mothers with tattooed up backs posing with pictures with their young sons in front of the original “The Blob.”

And the inclusion of Carpathian and the Patient Creatures, Dr. Gangrene and Ghoul a Go Go only helped further this cause of making an environment both adults and their “monster kids” could enjoy together.

That job went to Crystal, who I’ve known for about four years, but had never actually met. Up from New Orleans (this was her second year at this particular show), she proved to be an excellent den-mother/group organizer, and is just as wonderful in person as she is via the net. It was great to finally meet her in 3-D, as well as Chad , Jeff and Joe, who hooked me up with some damn fine “Ghoulardi” stationary. If you had had more, I would have bought them!! THANKS AGAIN!

Crystal with Bob

Other non-hosts that made it into the show were Bob Ferguson and Ken Kish, both from Ohio , and both who know a thing or two about talking. I’ve had the pleasure of hanging with both of them a number of times (usually with A. Ghastlee Ghoul present), and ruminating on everything from politics to movies to George Lucas to how to run a good convention (Ken is responsible for Cleveland’s annual Cinema Wasteland, which this October will have more hosts than any other convention in the universe should be allowed to have!) It’s refreshing to know that people “outside the beltway” actually care enough to have opinions about the government!

11:30 am– After winding through the convention, I finally found the impossible to miss Dr. Gangrene, who they had been placed in the back of the dealer room. DG and I had not seen each other in since 2001, since the infamous “Ghastlee All-Niter” in Dayton , Ohio , but it felt like it had just been more like two weeks than two years.

Boooo-HA! HA! HA!

Naaaaahhhhh, Dr. Gangrene is the greatest, both behind the camera and in front of it; both in character and out.

12:30 – Finally, I make my way over to the Ghoul A Go Go table and introduce myself to them. We’ve e-mailed numerous times this last year, and I’m thrilled that we have helped spread their show like a virus across the country through the HHU self-syndication network, but it is nothing like yakking and buying t-shirts in person to make you feel all connected and stuff.

Great googly-moo? What’s up with that?!

Seriously, their show, which is a hysterical satire/tribute to the old children’s dance shows of the 1950s, was a big hit with the people coming into the dealer room. Everyone got the joke, and while I’m not sure if anyone actually purchased the plastic “Vlad” teeth or rubber “Creighton” chew toy, or even the hysterical paper dolls  (!), their glee is contagious.

1:30 – I begin taping segments from the different hosts to use in a future HHU Promo tape I’m working on. The concept is easy, but the explanation was hard.

Nevertheless, thanks to Doc Gangrene’s camera crew (the camera I was given and promised was all ready to go, but it wasn’t), I tape the bits with Doc G and Dok G – Doktor Goulfinger – as well as the crazy crew from The Patient Creatures, and after I complete the taping at Horrorfind and Cinema Wasteland, the final promo should be a hoot.

We’ll be seeing them again at the above mentioned Cinema Wasteland and hopefully Horrorfind.

3:00pm – Ahhhhh…Carpathian and the Patient Creatures telling stories in the lobby for the gobs and gobs of Monster Kids and Adults that were there!

It has become a running joke between myself and the C-Man that I always seem to miss, skip or flat out ignore him telling his family friendly tales of the macabre, but this year I managed to make it for some of it. I think it went well - all the kids seemed to be paying attention; very few were bored. I think. At least those that didn’t leave, or were still awake, seemed like they didn’t completely regret listening to…

No…no…of course not. I’m making that up! 

Or at least exaggerating!!

It was wonderful to see Carpathian in his element. Ever since he and I met at the Rock Savage Film Fest A Go Go way back in 2000 (Rock was also there in Pennsylvania , by the way! – I wouldn’t feel centered if I didn’t know Rock was at the convention!), there are fewer of these crazy ghouls I’m fonder than him and his Patient Creatures. I had a superb time talking with all of them (Cousin Grim, Kuzibah and that radical rebel, Miss Scarlet) in the lobby, dealer room and later at a riotous, sometimes catty, dinner… more on that in a sec…

8:30 pm - Monster Bash let us have our cake, and we ate it too! A nice, early evening reception. Nothing like cake after dinner!

Both Crystal and I had the common sense to change clothes for dinner; me, in a stylish “Ghoul A Go Go” shirt, and her in an attractive “HHU” tee. Later, after Dr. Gangrene joined us, also changed into something a little more incognito (see…I do like those words!), Crystal would make the point to go change a third time for the day.

Friggin show off! (haha)

9pm- Ghoul A Go Go Live! Finally, after waiting all day, Vlad and Creighton show up and present their first episode, as well as their most recent one, to an appreciative audience. The image of Creighton eating the bloody hot dogs has everyone on the floor laughing. 

Afterwards, they taped their bit for that HHU Promo tape as well (VERY FUNNY), as we began saying our goodbyes.

But first…one final thing…more some pictures.

A common theme for the day was my inability to make electronic devises work. First, it was the video camera with no battery-juice, and then it was the new still camera that would only work after pressing the button multiple times – I really should have read the instructions. 

Things came to ahead as I was preparing to leave, and I asked both Carpathian and Dr. Gangrene to take my picture with the Ghoul A Go Goers, but even they couldn’t get it to work. Or had they? Finally, I am able to get one quick, amusing snapshot of GAGG, and I am prepared to boogie.

11pm – Fearing for my safety, and the safety of others on the turnpike (!), most everyone asked me to stay, but I needed to get back to DC. I have done more grueling trips, and I really wasn’t that sleepy, so I know I’ll be all right.

In fact, the trip is even faster going back south, and I am home by 4am . And this even after stopping numerous times.

4:30 am – Twenty-four hours later, I am in bed and fading off  asleep. I now know how Keiffer Sutherland must feel. What an incredible day!

The next morning, when I get up and around, I go to download the pictures you see here with this essay, when I come across something interesting – five AVI video files are stored on my camera, all of me and Vlad and Creighton, with Doctor Gangrene and Carpathian saying again and again, “I pressed the button…why won’t it work!”

Somehow the video mode had been switched on that still camera.

Now that was funny.

Even though I feel slightly vindicated, I really should read those instructions.

Now that I was home, it was time to get that Harry Potter book...

harry potter and the pre-order of the fleeced

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