SESSION 9

Hellooooooo,

DOC Sarcofiguy here! Review, chilluns!

It’s a review!

Recently got my hands on the movie SESSION 9. Who is its star? A couple of fellas I’ve never heard of, and former N.Y.P.D. Blue alumnus David Caruso whosa (Ock, I’m havin’ a Jar Jar Binks moment!) doin’ the ‘Indie Film Limbo’ in an wondrously stardom unencumbered role!

Well, lemme tellya, honey, one of these guys does indeed go ‘BLUB bloob POOP in the head, yall!. As crazy as a galoot (what is a galoot, you may ask?! A galoot is what a galoot does!). Trouble is, like most films of this variety, he just don’t know he’s crazy yet. SESSION 9 provides an interesting psychological study of the wacky, psychopathically madcap mind, and its ‘unseemly’ motivations. Like most mystery novels, SESSION 9 claims to give ya everything ya need to know to figure out the eventual outcome of the story. Though it takes its black strap molasses time ta get there, with all its irritating red herrings, and subterfuge. Up until the end you’re justa beggin’ ta have the film tellya who the crazy feller is, because you’re right tired of the plodding pace, and all the jumping of focus across all the possible nutjobs idjits!

Is the crazy guy the cleaning team leader who just left his wife and baby? Is it the sleazy, lackadaisical, Elvis-type guy who’s the crazy one? Is it David Caruso who’s crazy, because he’s mad at the sleazy, lackadaisical guy for stealing his ex-girlfriend. And oh how Mr. Caruso would LOVE ta get back at him for this slight(I just wanted to tell David, if she left ya that quick, she ain’t worth it no how, honey chile! That there Doctor’s advice is free!)! Is it the Spacey (oops!) spacey, loner type guy with the genius I.Q, weird stories of Satanic rituals, and carefree dispensing of proper lobotomies methods, the actual crazy fella?! Or, or, or, is it the pimply faced young fella new to the asbestos business? Maybe HE’S the crazy one! He’s got Nyctophobia, yall! Fear of the dark! Lemme tellya, it’s plenty dark down in the catacombs of that asylum! Icky! And like I said, the boy’s got PIMPLES (Trinomial Nomenclature: zzapay Utthay Countenancea)! Them things can itch like hell. Enough ta drive a body....CRAZY! AhHAH! There’s a motive for HIS insanity!

Anyway, the stuff’s all interesting, like I said. It just takes too long ta get there. Perhaps that’s the point! But it’s irritating, nonetheless. I suppose crazy takes a while ta cook. You don’t want it ta be all bloody in the middle. But, bloody it gets, regardless, when it realizes itself. When all is said and done.

Though the movie made me impatient for the end, the DENOUEMENT (DAY, me say day, me say day, me say day-NEW-moe), the acting is good. And there are some suitably tense moments, along with a few interesting case studies. But overall, you are left wandering how the random element relate to the whole, DAMMIT!

You’re left wondering also, how the nutcase character (I ain’t revealing him to ya, cuz it’s one of those, yah know, everything is revealed at the end, WHAT A SURPRISE, twist kinda thangs), is experiencing his madness! Has his mind traveled to a realm far greater than that of the much lauded collective unconscious, where madness is a ‘consistent’ state that anyone can occasionally connect with? Where random, unrelated whackos would ultimately exhibit the same behavior?! Or is it something ELSE entirely?! Hhmmmm . . .

The movie leaves you thinking, that’s for sure.

SESSION 9. I give it 2 and one beheaded CZAR. That’s right, 2 ½ CZARS!

LATER!

- DOC SARCOFIGUY!

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