These are just random thoughts...not in any
particular order...
For a long time I was angry
for the events that happened to my child. I couldn't understand
why God would let all this happen. But I finally came to the
realization that I was actually very lucky. God picked me to care
for this special child. God knew that I would be strong enough to
handle all the hardships. God trusted me to be the supporting
figure in Mathew's life. I have been so fortunate to have been
chosen to be his Mother.
Mathew has been fortunate too. He was born in a time that valve replacement was possible. Mathew was given a 50/50 chance of making it through the first Mitral Valve replacement surgery. It was because of lots of prayer to God that he came through this surgery without one problem.
One of the hardest adjustments to make was going from having a baby who was unaware of what was happening to him to having a 14 yr old boy going off to surgery aware of what was going on and being scared. Fortunately over the years we were open with Mathew about his health and it was a part of his everyday life. We did however, keep from him the story of how he lost the use of his left lung. I felt this summer he was old enough to know the truth and was very proud of the way he handled it. He had a few questions but there was no anger and he accepted it as just another part of his past.
Mathew's father and I divorced several years ago. For Mathew's sake we have managed to maintain a good relationship and stayed very good friends. This I feel has added to Mathew's security.
We were told Mathew wouldn't live to see his 10th birthday. He turned 15 this past July and we are planning many many more celebrations of his life.
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© 1997 zigt@muscanet.com
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