As my friends can tell anyone that asks, when I do something, I do it! No pulling punches, no holding back. Yes, it gets me in trouble at times but I believe in being honest and I won't disrespect myself, my friends or my relationship by trying to stay hidden. My theory was that when I was trying to be heterosexual people WANTED to hear about my dating a guy, getting engaged and married. What would it matter that its a woman?
Was I wrong! Actually, not to much so...yes there are still homophobic people (for all I know they are reading this right now!) But overall its gone well. I started small. I told someone over the phone that I knew but her reaction didn't really matter to me much. I then told a trusted partner at work. His reaction? "no duh!" His next statement was something to the effect of 'Good, you look on that side, I'll look on this side and we'll let each other know when we pass a cute woman.'
Not everyone was as cool as my partner. I did have one friend/employer for a part-time job tell me she thought it was a phase entered into because of the failed marriage. She went so far as to ask me for 1/2 hour to try and talk me out of it! Heck, I even let her try and at the end of it came away knowing that she was a Bible Beater with a zero tolerance policy for anyone that didn't believe as a Born Again and I was truly gay! (and yes, its funny how suddenly she stopped needing help with her catering jobs whereas a month before I was indispensable).
After that it did get easier for the most part. Telling my mom was hard. She lives 5 hours away and I had no time to go up there so I simply told her on the phone. Funny thing is, she had suspected since I was a kid! I eventually told my Grandmother which didn't go so well, but we talk now and she has even had a few good things to say about my ex-girlfriend and she likes my current girlfriend a lot. (I think she realizes that if it wasn't for my ex I might not have headed back to college.)
The way I handled Coming Out at work was simple..I told a few select people and let the rumor mill do the rest. I started wearing mini freedom rings as well. Heck, being in Emergency Services most people figured when I got separated that I had finally figured out I was gay and that's why I left...Its kind of a stereotype. But ya know what they say, stereotypes do come about for a reason!
Now I find I can't tolerate being in the closet at all. I refuse to not be "normal". I was at a job interview right before moving to Philly and met another applicant in the lobby while waiting for my interviewer. the other applicant was very nice and we started talking about why we were both there and our work history. He asked why I was moving to Philly from Lancaster. I told him about college and he asked where I was living in Philly. When I told him "right behind a hospital" he replied that I could meet a rich Doctor. I told him I'm involved. He asked "what does he do?" I replied "He's a She and she's about to start her freshman year at Temple playing field hockey and studying Social Work administration." Response? He felt horrible, he hadn't noticed the freedom rings I was wearing nor the rainbow ribbon on my backpack. Other wise no big deal. My advice is COME ON OUT! Yeah you might have some problems, but the more of us out, the more accepted we will be and the sooner we will have equal rights when it comes to marriage, healthcare and the right to serve our country!
