A Checklist for Evaluating Maturity
The difficulties of coping with alcoholism in another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults.
A mature adult is one who:- Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing that it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.
- Knows that self-pity is futile and childish--a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.
- Does not readily experience a loss of temper or "fly off the handle" about trifles.
- Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.
- Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go wrong.
- Accepts reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that some adjustment for the convenience of others is necessary.
- Is a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper.
- Does not worry unduly about things that can't be changed.
- Doesn't boast or "show off" when praised or complimented, accepts it with grace, appreciation and without false modesty.
- Applauds others' achievements with sincere goodwill.
- Rejoices in the good fortune and success of others having outgrown petty jealousy and envy.
- Listens courteously to the opinions of others even when they hold opposing views; does not enter into hostile argument.
- Doesn't find fault with "every little thing" or criticize people who do things differently.
- Makes reasonable plans and tries to carry them out in orderly fashion; does not do things on the spur of the moment without due consideration.
- Shows spiritual maturity by--
- accepting the existence of a Higher Power and recognizing the importance of this Power in life.
- realizing each person is part of mankind as a whole and has much to give; that each of us has an obligation to share with others the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.
- obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
From Al-Anon Booklet "Alcoholism The Family Disease" (p-4)
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