Learn to accept the fact that the alcoholic is sick, from an illness he cannot control. Try to avoid nagging, scolding and arguing. It doesn't help, it hurts -- both you and the alcoholic.

Involving yourself in Al-Anon works; helping others helps you too.

Search out your own shortcoming and try to correct them. later you will find that you can detach your mind from your troubles, a sign of real progress.

Meditate daily on Al-Anon's simple slogans:

First Things First

Live and Let Live

Easy Does It

Let Go and Let God

Learn more about alcoholism by reading Al-Anon literature -- booklets are provided at meetings; books can be purchased or found in the library.

Avoid complaints about the alcoholic's faults and gossip about Al-Anon and AA members. It hinders your personal progress.

IF THE ALCOHOLIC IS IN AA

Be willing to cooperate with efforts to get and maintain sobriety in AA, but do not interfere or advise. Alcoholics have a better chance of success when the family leaves them free to work out their own problems.

Overcoming the obsession to drink requires an equally strong drive toward involvement with Alcoholics Anonymous.

Accept graciously an alcoholic's need to spend much time and meetings and in doing Twelve-Step work (helping others). When the alcoholic is busy with AA, you can cure the lonely, left-out feeling by becoming active in Al-Anon.

There you will find others who have used the Al-Anon program to adjust to the many changes sobriety brings.

Have patience -- and then more patience. Sometimes it's harder to bear with daily petty irritations than it was to deal with the big problem of alcoholism.

Don't be discouraged if progress is slow. Some alcoholics are sicker than others and take longer to be restored to health.

Don't expect immediate personal readjustment. The distorted relationships which resulted from drinking will still leave many personal problems to be ironed out. Patience and understanding will do it!

Have faith in the alcoholic. Don't let yourself doubt, even if he slips back one or more times. The AA fellowship has a long history of successes with cases that seemed hopeless.

Keep yourself serene and contented by repeating, many times each day the following:

SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the Serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

THE TWELVE STEPS

These are studied in depth at Al-Anon meetings, and daily practice is recommended to all members. Whether or not the problem drinker is a member of AA, these Steps can be a rewarding way of life for the alcoholic's family.

 1.  We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become   
unmanageable.
 
 2.  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to   
sanity.
 
 3.  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God AS
WE UNDERSTOOD HIM.
 
 4.  Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
 
 5.  Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs.
 
 6.  Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
 
 7.  Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
 
 8.  Made a list of all person we had harmed, and became willing to make amends
to them all.
 
 9.  Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
 
 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly   
admitted it.
 
 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
  God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, praying only for knowledge of His will for us  
and the power to carry that out.
 
 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried  
to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our  
affairs.