Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
                   Daniel Solomon & David Rosenblueth
         Department of Computer Science, University of Waterloo
                   Waterloo, Ontario, Canada N2L 3G1

   With such a large selection of programming languages it can be
difficult to choose one for a particular project. Reading the manuals to
evaluate the languages is a time consuming process. On the other hand,
most people already have a fairly good idea of how various automobiles
compare. So in order to assist those trying to choose a language, we
have prepared a chart that matches programming languages with comparable
automobiles.

Assembler     - A Formula I race car. Very fast, but difficult to drive
                and expensive to maintain.

FORTRAN II    - A Model T Ford. Once it was king of the road.

FORTRAN IV    - A Model A Ford.

FORTRAN 77    - A six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission
                and no seat belts.

COBOL         - A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly, but it does the work

BASIC         - A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched
                upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive.
                You'll ditch the car as soon as you can afford a new one.

PL/I          - A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a
                two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust
                pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.
                Various forms of stop lights, fog lights and backup
                lights are installed next to each of the many rearview
                mirrors.  Full 4 track stereo, TV and CB radio are
                standard.

C             - A black Firebird with flame paint job, a teenagers dream
                car.  Comes with optional seat belts (lint) and optional
                fuzz buster (escape to assembler).  All gauges use 1
                letter displays and minimality is the byword on this
                vehicle.  You furnish your own steering wheel.

Pascal        - A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once
                popular with intellectuals.  A built-in breathalizer
                shuts the engine down if you don't pass its test.

Modula II     - A Volkswagon Rabbit with a trailer hitch.

ALGOL 60      - An Austin Mini. Boy, that's a small car.

ALGOL 68      - An Astin Martin. An impressive car, but not just anyone
                can drive it.

LISP          - An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not
                available, but a large supply of parenthesis are.

PROLOG/LUCID  - Prototype concept-cars.  Will probably get you too much
                attention if you do take it out on the highway.

Maple/MACSYMA - All-terrain vehicles.

FORTH         - A go-cart with a backward facing driver seat.

LOGO          - A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real
                engine and a working horn.

APL           - A double-decker bus. Its takes rows and columns of
                passengers to the same place all at the same time.  But,
                it drives only in reverse gear, and is instrumented in
                Greek.

Ada           - An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering,
                power brakes and automatic transmission are all
                standard.  No other colors or options are available.  If
                it's good enough for the generals, it's good enough for
                you.  Manufacturing delays due to difficulties reading
                the design specification are starting to clear up.

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