Top by Bob Keck
"Support Group"--two words that evoke different images for different people. As a support group leader, the most common question I get is: "What is a support group?" The answer differs depending upon the group.
Not all groups follow the same structure. In 1994, when I began facilitating the AVNK Together Groups, I had a unique and challenging opportunity because . . . there wasn’t a group. People had quit attending. I had only one potential group member to work with, but the two of us stuck it out and eventually others started coming. I wanted to make sure we didn’t lose new people after one or two sessions.
Some people swear they will never return to a support group because of a prior bad experience. Here are a few complaints I have heard about groups:
"They treated me like I had no coping skills or IQ They must think group members are losers."
"They put me on the spot and me do things that felt uncomfortable."
"They had goofy group exercises that I did not want to do."
"The facilitators had an agenda and I never got to talk about what I needed to discuss."
Fortunately, these are not comments about the AVNK support groups. We have taken definite steps to make sure people do not have a bad experience.
The structure and "rules" of the Together Groups were established by the members themselves. Here is a summary of how we currently do group:
The facilitator gives each group member the option of participating in a "check-in" exercise in order to share information.
Announcements are shared.
The facilitator asks for a topic.
The group discusses issues related to the topic and members offer feedback to each other.
Our "rules" are brief and simple:
We require confidentiality. Anyone seen at group and anything said at group, stays at group. Group members need a safe environment to express themselves without fear of information leaving the room. This is our most important rule.
We use "I" statements. Feedback is encouraged. Advice is not. There is a world of difference in the statement, "AZT is poison. Anyone who takes AZT is suicidal and stupid," and the statement, "I believe AZT is toxic to me and I choose not to take it. I’m glad you’re getting good results with AZT."
Common courtesy is expected. One person speaks at a time. No interruptions, no finger pointing, no monopolizing.
Stereotyping and generalizations, statements such as "those people are always doing that," are discouraged.
Members are expected to ask for what they need.
Group members explain these "rules" to new members. Whenever necessary we revise our "rules."
People also ask me, "Why would I want to come to a group?" Here are some of the advantages to being a member of the Together Groups.
You have access to information about HIV and how others manage their lives.
You have an opportunity to put your hectic life on hold once a week so you can focus on things that truly matter.
You become connected to caring people encountering challenges similar to your own.
You have a forum to express yourself and receive feedback and new ideas.
You get fresh coffee and snacks.
The AVNK Together Groups meet each Sunday in Room 5C71 at St. Elizabeth North Medical Center in Covington. Together for Caring is a group for family, friends, significant others, and anyone interested in building self-care skills while being of service to a person with HIV/AIDS. This group meets each Sunday from 5:00 to 6:15 PM. Together for Healing is a group for people with HIV/AIDS. This group meets each Sunday from 6:30 to 8:00 PM. On the first Sunday of each month we combine both groups and open the group to supportive people who do not regularly attend either group. This combined group provides an opportunity to network and remain connected to members of both groups. On these Sundays, the Caring group meets at 5:00 PM and members are welcome to remain for the combined group at 6:30 PM.
Feel free to drop by St. Elizabeth’s and check us out. Anyone who would like more information about the Together Groups can call me, Bob Keck, at home (606-431-8021) or work (513-629-2307).
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Date Revised: Saturday, September 05, 1998