october006

Monday, 10/16/00, 3:50 PM

          WHY IS THE CORNER DYING??? PLEASE TELL ME! I will sob my way to Hoth to beg you to bring it back if it leaves!!!!

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Katee

Dear Katee,

          The Advice Corner is not dying. The Advice Corner is dead. Well, I guess you must already know why the Advice Corner is dead. He took Wamp Rat Poison. He thought that he was no longer needed because I had found AT-ST Driver. Ever wondered why I kept on telling people to call themselves AT-ST Driver? Well that's why. That is the whole purpose of this site. I needed to find him. I disguised my search with mindless nonsense. That is why there is mindless nonsense on my site. My site is always 100% true under its nonsense costume. Hey! You just gave me a new motto!! Now I have three: Your last stop for the next three million lightyears; The "untruth" about Star Wars; and It's the complete truth in a nonsense costume. My advice: Thanks!

Monday, 10/16/00, 3:52 PM

          NO! IT CAN'T BE TRUE! HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING! PLEASE GET BETTER ADVICE CORNER! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME NOW! I'LL ONLY WRITE IN YOU ONCE A WEEK! PLEASE, DON'T GO! NOOOOOOO! PLEASE? MR. HOTH REBEL TROOPER, YOU CAN SAVE HIM, I KNOW IT. PLEASE SAVE THE ADVICE CORNER! PLEASE! THIS IS MY FINAL PLEE: SAVE THE ADVICE CORNER! YOU CAN DO IT! why? WHY? DON'T GO AWAY!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOOD BYE, MY FRIEND. THE FORCE WILL BE WITH YOU, ALWAYS. JUST REMEBER THAT LAU-RA ANU WILL ALWAYS REMEBER YOU. *sOB*

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lau-ra Anu

Dear Lau-ra Anu,

          I'm very sorry. I could not save him. Wamp Rat poison works very quick, you see. There is no medical cure. I am a military genius, not a medical genius. Have no fear. Advice Corner Jr. will take his place in time. He just needs to grow. The Advice Corner cried when he read your entry. He didn't want to die. My advice: I'm sure that he would thank you.

Monday, 10/16/00, 3:53 PM

          *sob* will you add a regular guestbook to your site? *sniff* please do.

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Katee

Dear Katee,

          Well, by the time that you read this, you already know about Junior. I think that Junior is doing a very good job, don't you? If it makes you feel any better, Junior decided he wanted to be on my site because on your entry. He thanks you. My advice: I'm sure that The Advice Corner would thank you too.

Monday, 10/16/00, 4:23 PM

          nooo!!! this is my favourite part of your site! thrawn will pay...

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): AT-ST Driver

Dear AT-ST Driver,

          YOU are blaming ME???? It is your fault that he felt that he no longer had a reason to live. I knew that you would come someday, but I never really thought about what would become of the Advice Corner because of it. You are an idiot, old friend. You don't even no how to spell favorite. Ha!! Oh, and by the way. I have... I mean, uh Thrawn has most definitely earned his capitals. My advice: I take away your capitals, at-st driver, Ha!

Monday, 10/16/00, 4:38 PM

          PapLoO AbOuT To DiE, So Is tHiS *snOb* I haVe IdEa! Let PeOPle wHo Be In New Ep. (me, you , AT-ST Driver, lau-ra, her sister, jaina who not at funErrAl aNd Dead PaPlOO) lEt ALl ThosE WriTe 1 ChapTeR eaCh of NeW ep., Or Give USSS gUeSt Book! EIther wAy Paploo diE... I MEaN AdViCE COrNer live! Me MAke tWuce wIf PAP...PUp...PaPlOOoooOO To Beat AT- ST DriVer, And hElPPP adVicE CoRneR! BuT tHen SmellY Ewok Die!

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lowbacca

Dear Lowbacca,

          Yes, I encourage you to help write a chapter, or maybe even a few chapters. This is going to be bigger than one chapter each! We don't have to write it in order, but we do all have to write it at different times. I'll type up a writing schedule and a story outline for all of you to follow. But you gotta e-mail me!!! It reall shouldn't be official that you are writing until you e-mail me! Erggghhhh!!! My advice: E-mail me!!!!!!!!!

Monday, 10/16/00, 4:38 PM

          Don't close advice corner unless you have something that me will be able to give messages in as well. I would like to join you in the battle. We have an expert army assembled we just need technology. I know! We sell gold! (i looked up what you call it) We Buy great many things! I have revealed my current location as a sign of peace to Lobacca.

From: In the Maw where the Death Star Prototype was
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Paploo

Dear Paploo,

          You are not in the Maw. I am sorry, but I don't believe you. Lowbacca won't believe you either. I think your feud with him has become a matter of galactic importance. It might start the Wookies to revolt against me. I never have liked Wookies. They are disgusting creatures. Not to put down Lowbacca, 'cause I need him to help write Ep. 7 and he also needs to E-MAIL ME!!!!! Ergghhhhh!!! My advice: Gold has lost its value, try glitterstim, it's illegal but its sooooo good, WOAH!

Monday, 10/16/00, 4:53 PM

          i agree with the smelly wookiee, who hates the smelly ewok, who hates jaina who hates me, who hates grand adm... i mean hoth rebel trooper. i'll write a chapter to the ep. 7 'bout me and you and how we started this fight. get laura-anu to write something, too, she's got talent! (maybe about that fish?) or you could do it yerself. i wanna be in ep. 7! even if i have to kill you, hmmmm, not a bad idea. let's go to the chat corner soon and plan the battle. oh yea my name, i usually spell it At-st Driver, but i like the 'keyboard games' we play. have Paploo and Lowbacca kill each other. make sure there's still a guest book! ALL (my noghri co-pilot) sayz he wants to rip your liver out (that's his favourite food). could you at least let the main character's have a say aout what happens? my AT-ST (the invincible one) is on 24-hour surveilance, i'm typing from it's computer. we will meet again thrawn... i promise!

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): AT-ST Driver

Dear AT-ST Driver,

          Yes, very true. A say about what happens?!! No, of course I want you to help. You don't think that I can do it all by myself. Well, by the time you read this, you know that we already made a very productive chat about our final battle. The only thing that wasn't decided was the winner. But I've been thinking about it, and I have just decided who should win. I won't say it here, so maybe we can chat about it. My advice: Having a Noghri named ALL is really stupid.

Monday, 10/16/00, 4:55 PM

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): meet in chat corner, now!!!

Dear meet in chat corner, now!!!,

          Hmmm. No message at all. You have a very odd name, did you know? Most names have capitals and most of them don't have that many words. Most names don't include !!!!!!!!'s (I would have said exclamation marks, but I don't know how to spell exclamation). Oh wait... I just spelled exclamation!! Cool! It's a cool word! I mean it's a sock word!! Yeah! My advice: Exclamation, SOCK!!!

Monday, 10/16/00, 4:59 PM

          paploo, meet me in the chat corner, now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lowbacca

Dear Lowbacca,

          E-mail me now!!!!!!!!!!! Really, I desperately need you to e-mail me about Episode 7. And I am not Paploo. Paploo is a rabid Ewok with a canker sore and he buys chewing gum and nail files (now on sale at Ames). If you want to see his website... then change your mind. His website is never updated. I go there every day to see if there are any changes, but there is just nothing! Have fun eating Canadian Bacon, Eh! Sorry. I'll stop now. My advice: Eh?!

Monday, 10/16/00, 5:07 PM

          I see you are not closed yet. Keep things that way.

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lau-ra Anu

Dear Lau-ra Anu,

          It was impossible to keep things that way. I was able to prolong his life for one day, but that was all he could take. Most normal guestbooks would die 5 seconds after taking Wamp Rat poison, but The Advice Corner was special. He could take anything that was thrown at him. He was nearly perfect. But he couldn't evade the Wamp Rat poison. He... he... died... *Sniff* Oh dear... I... can't talk right now. My advice: *Sniff*

Monday, 10/16/00, 6:03 PM

          Why are you "killing" the advice corner? You could limit the entries to 2 a week or something. I also think you should limit the amount of words. PlEaSe keep the advice corner, *sniff* The thought of no advice corner brings tears to my eyes.

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Suz-Ai Gallia

Dear Suz-Ai Gallia,

          There was nothing I could do. And I did not kill him. He killed himself... as far as I can tell. It may have been a set up. It may have been done to look like suicide, but I doubt it. I doubt it very much. I am still searching for clues, but I have found nothing yet. Believe me, his death brought more than tears to my eyes. It brought mynocks to my eyes. They ate my eyes, actually. But I got new ones. My advice: Don't mistake the contact lens stuff for mynock food, it will hurt a lot.

Monday, 10/16/00, 6:08 PM

          What's this I hear about Ep. 7? Am I in it? That would be so totaly sock. sock is a good word for cool you know. sock huh?

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Suz-Ai Gallia (again-- sorry about that)

Dear Suz-Ai Gallia (again-- sorry about that),

          Now that the Advice Corner is dead, I don't really care about double entries. Well, I guess there are plusses to his death. Now I have more time to concentrate on other aspects of my site. I really need to update Hopeful, don't I? Well, the sequel to Hopeful is going to be coming soon. It's called Emptiness. Do you get it? You probably don't. Well, yes Episode 7 is going to be really sock!! My advice: I used the word sock before this entry, didn't I?

Monday, 10/16/00, 7:47 PM

          No, please! Don't kill the guest book! I promise, I'll only sign it once a week. So will everyone else. We promise. Maybe, have it open one day a week or something. Oh, and Episode VII sounds completely cool! Let me write part of it, I'm a very good writer. Seriously! I'll help. I used to help my librarian with her fan fic stories, they were pretty good. Please, please, please let me help!! Anyway. Lowbacca. *sniff* Why are you so mad at me now? You seem evil. We were such good friends in all those Young Jedi Knight books... both of us were good with machines, and piloting and all that... I fear that you have gone over to the dark side. You thought I had a temper problem, HRT!! Just look at that Wookiee. But, HRT, don't close the advice corner. At least not permanently. Thank you, Lau-ra, for the ecard! I'm going to go send you one. Um... well, I suppose that's it. For now. Sorry I didn't make it to chat.

From: Jaina
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Coruscant

Dear Coruscant,

          Thank you a million thank yous for being the first planet to sign my guestbook in an Advice Corner. You are also the last planet to sign The Advice Corner. Yes, it is very sad. Since when was Lowbacca a good friend of the planet Coruscant? Huh? And I don't really want a planet to help write Episode 7. Actually, I never knew that planets were alive in the first place. Well, the same could be said for guestbooks. Don't ask me to explain! My advice: You are very overpopulated.

Monday, 10/16/00, 7:57 PM

          *Sniff* *sob*. Dear friends, we are gathered here today to say good-bye to a wonderful friend, the Advice Corner. The Advice Corner, also known by some as the Guest Book, has become a dear friend of mine over the past few months, and I know that everyone here feels the same way. We do not know what we shall do without you, dear Advice Corner. You were always so good, so faithful, except for the days when you were closed. But now, it looks like the end... *sniff*. We know that you are going to a better place, and we have a hope that you may one day return in the form of a clone. (How 'bout it, HRT? The Aadvice Corner?) But now, in memory forever. Advice Corner, please rest in peace. Sincerely, Jaina, and I am sure that everyone... Lau- ra, Suz-Ai, Katee, Paploo, Vada the Beta, Lowbacca, Adam, AT-ST Driver, and anyone else that I do not remember in this time of grief, agrees with me. Rest in Peace, and farewell.

From: Coruscant
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Jaina

Dear Jaina,

          You really did make me cry. Really, you did. Thank you a million thank yous for those kind words. Unfortunately, there are not enough sparti cylinders left in the galaxy to clone a fish stick. I have the last cylinder right here. I also have a fish stick. What should I do? You speak of Adam and AT-ST Driver as if they are two separate people. You are wrong. Usually, you are better at matters like that. My advice: Again, thank you.

Tuesday, 10/17/00, 3:03 AM

          i fEel SoRrrY 4 PaPLOOooOO. He SpEll Lowbacca WiThoUT tHe 'w'. WhoO Ammm i WiThoUt It? PaPOlOooOOO wIll PaY.... I WiLL Not HelP yOu, HRT, If yOu Rr GooNnA iNvAdE Canada! Ne1 KnOw A GOood bAsIc TuToRR? GooODbYE AdViCe CorrNerr, You WaS AlWayS GoooD frriend!

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lowbacca

Dear Lowbacca,

          You really do need to work on that very noticeable speak impediment. It is extremely annoying. In fact, I really hate it. Just like I hate Woo---'s. You Woo---'s are so stupid. No offence, but it is very true. I guess I better not be mean, because you were so nice to The Advice Corner. When you said "You WaS AlWayS GoooD friend," I seriously cried. My advice: Thank you a million thank yous.

Tuesday, 10/17/00, 8:32 AM

          Lowie, what in the world are you doing up at 3:03 in the morning? Normal people are asleep at that hour. Maybe not Wookiees, I don't know. The Advice Corner is still here, I thought it was supposed to die yesterday. Stay with us, dear Advice Corner! If you die, you will go and join all of the characters who died: Chewie, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin Skywalker... maybe the Furry Friend will put a memorial to you on his website. Stay with us, Advice Corner, for as long as possible!! I know this may very well be the last time I write it here. Good bye, farewell, and most of all: May the Force be with you.

From: Coruscant
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Jaina

Dear Jaina,

          I have some bad news about the Furry Friend. He said that he was fed up with web design. He said that he doesn't want to work on his site ever again. I'm really trying to convince him, but he won't listen. Oh well. Some people are idiots, and the Furry Friend is one of them. Yes Jaina, this is the last time that you will ever righ... rit... wrigh... write (thank you, Jaina) in the Advice Corner. Now, I really shouldn't lean to favoritism, but I must say this; You have always been the Advice Corner's most loyal fan. I think that history proves that fact. I just hope that Lau-ra and Paploo don't get mad!!! My advice: May the Force be with you, too... just don't hog it all.

Tuesday, 10/17/00, 9:06 AM

          when the advice corner was new/ when the advice takers were few/ then we could always write/ if we wanted, all night/ but now the time has come/ and the corner is no longer young/ we must bid our friend fairwell/ to the advice corner, our hearts did sell

Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lau-ra Anu

Dear Lau-ra Anu,

          What can I say? It is truly a beautiful poem. I'm sure you have noticed that I posted it on the Advice Corner Jr. page. You are really a master of poetry. It would be really sock if you could write a poem about each section of my site. But you don't have to. I did read the poems on your site and they are really sockular. Thank you, Lau-ra. This poem was such an honor to the Advice Corner. My advice: Keep it up, your poems show promise.

Tuesday, 10/17/00, 9:09 AM

          Okay, anyone who has problems dealing with the pain of the loss of our dear friend, please come and sign my guestbook. I won't give advice, but perhaps we can all talk through the book. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

Web Site: Xtreme Star Wars
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lau-ra Anu

Dear Lau-ra Anu,

          Yes, Lau-ra, most things are better than nothing. Or should I say most things are better than no things? Just think, if you hadn't found the Advice Corner, then the whole Vada the Beta thing would have gone unnoticed. Because of you, we now know of the threat he holds. You have truly saved the galaxy. And your sisters helped too. Just think, without Suz'Ai's signings, we would have never learned the joy of sock-stuffing. Without Katee's signings. We would have never had celebrities visit my site. I thank all of you. You are true Star Wars fans. My advice: Use your Jedi skills to make the galaxy a better place.

Tuesday, 10/17/00, 11:41 AM

          firrst off: jaina i was not on at 3:03 a.m. i was on at 7:30 a.m. problem is i'm in anotherr time zone. second: notice the beterr speach? the thought of jaina not going to the funerral sent me 2 the darrk side, i would go to herr uncle's funerral if he died. I'm sorry but i can't tell you how i came baccccccccck 2 the light side. also i no longerr have a grudge against PaplooOOOoo (i do the OOooOO thing 4 fun it makes me laugh). i'm sorry 'bout the elite trroperrs, my small frriend. tell the ewok named blake to go home (blake is my younger brotherr, since he's so shorrt being 6 he looks like an ewok and he was a spy 4 me) thrawn if you attack canada i will not help you. i got homehomeworrk so i'll b back later. (junior high suckx)

From: Canada
Name (write "AT-ST Driver" or I do not give advice): Lowbacca

Dear Lowbacca,

         Thank you a million thank yous for saying my page is good. So, you think my page needs more "things" on it. Specify "things." Do you mean pictures? Or do you mean Bantha droppings? You see, I can not be absolutely sure unless you specify, Wookie. Sithspawn, I hate your type; always jumping around in the forests of Kashyyk, carrying Han Solos around in baby sacks. Let me ask, how many Han Solos have died because of this careless routine? My final advice: Find a more sensible way to transport Han Solos up trees or I'll put Bantha droppings on my page as I think you asked.