Sun, Mar 31/02 12:45am
So I find out that there's actually a decent Slipknot song out there. I go to download it off WinMX, and I get a goof. You know goofs, people who think because you're downloading off them they get to talk to you. Great. So after I get some useless info I didn't want to hear, he asks me about my taste in music. I tell him, BR and DK, etc. What else? He asks. I tell him to check my hard drive.
Well, he didn't know how and I had to explain it to him. Twice. Ungh. And then... and then after looking, I get this:
'All I see is anarchist, antichrist, pissy shit with no meaning'
This, from an intellect who believes Mudvayne to be the be all and end all of music, followed by Slipknot. Not the Beatles, no no. Not nearly. As well, I get this:
'At least get something with a good beat and some meaning'
Some MEANING. Oh man. Meaning? In Slipknot vs. Bad Religion? Come on now. But what can I do? I'm at this idiot's mercy! And now he wants to know all about me. So, what can I do? I tell him:
I am Steve from Detroit.
I am 20.
I work in a garage.
And now the file is done, and I closed WinMX. Ahhh. Satisfaction.
So now I can write about what I wanted to write about. Went out today, and on Dirtmonster's command, picked up some new speakers for my computer. I wasn't going to do it, but she made me! Honest! Okay, maybe not. But fuck... I'm sure glad I did! Wished I'd bought them at the start of the year, I didn't know what I was missing! Flat panels and a sub... ohhh yeah. I'm in fucking music heaven today. Pretty good deal on 'em too, and I love the fact that pictures fit in them. Who the hell thought of combining speakers and picture frames?! Fucking genuis... the kind you only usually see in peanut butter and bananas.
What else. Well, my bitchy Amanda isn't online tonight, which kind of bites. I've noticed that some of the other people I message with now who I thought were interesting are now becoming kind of... well, just annoying. Like, not my core people, but the others, on the fringes. I guess it was bound to happen... other would-be bitches just pale by comparison! God I'm an idiot, heh. But anyhow, I put one goof on invisible today, and I'll put another one on just as soon as I'm done talking to her tonight. Meh, I don't need this!
Sat, Mar 30/02 12:11pm
So I've been brought out of my haze of depression and loneliness by a strange source. This odd, bitchy young woman from Face the Jury has been quite a bright light upon my soul these past two days... highly bitchy, highly cute, someone I can call a cunt on a regular basis and she's fine with it. She responds by calling me an asshole, it's great! I don't know... the girl cheers me up... I'm not going to question it. Talking to her right now, actually. Yum.
Thurs, Mar 28/02 11:36pm
Oh man. I often don't even get a rod at the strippers anymore, but today in class, I was pitching a fucking TENT. Terri-Lynn was looking UN-believably good today, holy shit. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Yowza.
And awayyyyy I go!
Thurs, Mar 28/02 1:21am
Ungh. So now I'm paranoid about my own mortality unless I keep myself busy. Every headache is a burrowing tumor, every chest pain is a heart attack congealing. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I really, really need to get back on some medication and sluce this stuff off, I mean, it's getting ridiculous... I can barely fucking function.
I did take one worry off my mind though... that of the taxes. I went out and picked up the Quicken software for $25, put it on my credit card since I don't have any real cash to spare. Hip hop hooray for credit cards, yeehaw. Anyhow, used the software without any real glitches (amazingly), and filed my return in about a half hour, not including time spent searching around my room for various crap. Managed a $861 return, which is more than I initially filed for last year, so I'm sitting pretty. Plus, it'll be coming back to me in about two weeks, so that's pretty tubular.
On a side note: Fuck you, Josh Hartnett. And you too, American Eagle Outfitters, you cum-guzzling Gap-wanna-be. You and Josh should team up and piss me off in *style*. Hmn, does anyone else think that Catherine O'Hara used to be really hot?
Ugh, now my intestines are doing wacky stuff. Fuck!
Uh, what else? Has to be something. Oh, here we go, okay, I got something. After doing... 4 class projects, I now have... drumroll please... 4 more fucking class projects to do. 4 more, I can't even believe it. And that's not even counting proofreading for other people in the class. Exams are coming up pretty quick too, which I don't think I approve of. Not when I have projects to do, anyhow. Uh, lets see... there's the interview on video project that's due on Monday that I haven't even started and was going to use Hoover for but he's gone til Sunday... there's the group project with fucking *KIM*, ugh... the prison-blueprint project... and the comparison between facilities, which hopefully I won't have to do because we might not visit two facilities this semester. Well HOT DOG. Oh... so yeah... I went to Near North Youth Detention Centre on Tuesday. It was alright. I didn't like the woman giving the tour, but it seems like it'd be an alright place to work at or get placement in. And *I* saw young offenders! Oh yeah, I saw 'em, I saw their *names*! For any Americans, or ignorant Canadians, that's a big deal because all young offenders in the province of Ontario are held to be anonymous to the public by law. Pretty sweet, eh?
I keep forgetting I have salad in Hoover's fridge. I just wrote SALAD in red pen on my hand so I'll remember to chow down on it tomorrow. Mmm. Hope the croutons aren't all soggy.
I'm listening to CCR, Down on the Corner. I believe now that for the rest of my life, whenever I hear this song it'll make me think about driving down Main street with Mair and Jen on an unusually grand winter afternoon during March Break. Sunroof up, people all over the street, smilin' away, going about their business. Mm, that was a good day. Jen had just gotten her haircut, and oh how wonderfully short it was! Mmm... Jen...
Oh, here's one for you! People talk about me. Oh yeah. See, the day at Near North, I had to look all respectable and shit, which meant no piercings, makeup, etc. Well, half the class was there that day, and a half of that half came on the tour with me, while the other half went after we were done. Well, the second half saw me too, near the end of the tour, and apparently they were all gabbing about me. Troy told me yesterday, I think it was. Yeah, Jackie and Terri Lynn were talking about how shy I am with girls and how they liked that, and how they all knew that I didn't like it that they accepted me. It was kind of funny to hear about that. Like, you just kind of... don't expect that. Troy led me to believe that it was only a couple of them, but Justin today filled me in that just about everyone in on that half of the tour was in on things. For some reason I was always under the impression that I was... well... endlessly annoying and unlikable... but it seems I'm quite the opposite to these people. Now *that* is weird.
Oh, I feel that NyQuil kickin' in. About time to wrap things up for the night, I 'spose. I think overall that today was a pretty good day, mmhmn. I liked it, I liked it a lot.
Mon, Mar 25/02 6:13pm
Oh, what a day. The only thing worse than Microsofts unstable O/S platforms is feeling stupid. I mean really feeling dumb and incompetent. What makes me say that? Well, back when I was home, I picked up my tax papers, figuring I'd do them here and not have to bother with anyone else bugging me about it. Well, I just sat down and did it all. Incorrectly, quite obviously, since I'm fairly sure I *don't* owe the federal government $2750+. Man, feelind dumb is the worst, I don't know how so many people deal with it every day. Of course, that isn't the only thing bugging me, or even the only thing making me feel dumb. Here's one for you... I can't print. I can't print off the computers correctly at school, nope. Not in fucking *LEGAL* format, for fucks sakes! Fucking intake assessment assignment, un-fucking-believable. Ah, and there's the Anti-Flag coming through the wall. FUCK!
Today would be a complete waste if I hadn't gotten groceries, and the wrestling lottery wasn't on tonight...
attn: C. Hoover re:'music'
--Stop singing!--
end msg
GAHHH!!!
Tues, Mar 19/02 1:37pm
Okay, I'm back. Back from home, that is, in case you didn't know. I had a pretty good time back in Brantford. A really good time, actually. Lots of adventures, some of which are even preserved on video recordings, thanks to Ken. Lets see... well, went home Thursday night, wasn't sure I would though. I caught an express bus from North Bay to Toronto, and was picked up by Catherine and Evil-lyn there. Thing was though, that I had expected to catch a slow bus and get in around 10:30... and I got in around 9:10. So I had to wait. And wait. And wait. Mmhmn. And then when they finally did come they were late, and plus, Evil didn't even see me. I was lucky I turned around when I did, or I wouldn't have seen her. Could have been stranded, who knows? But eventually, went back to town. *I* had expected to go and get dinner. You know, out to the bar or something... maybe some East Sides, that would have been great. But no... no no. A Wendys drive through in Oakville, that was as close as I got. And *I* had to pay for it! Geez. You'd think Dufferin could at least buy me a fucking meal for doing camp for a day. And that was what I did on Friday. Camp, yes. A lot of new kids that I didn't know. So, I did attendance question, and I did warm up, and I did relaxation, and I did Chicken Man... frig, what else? Seemed that I took care of most of the day. As well, Chicken Man headed out to Taco Bell for lunch. I kind of spent Catherine's money on my lunch, but ehn. I remain unconcerned about my actions. But yeah, it was great, Chicken Man suit at Taco Bell... waiting in line was nice, but ordering was even better. I stepped up to the counter, and no one had said a word to me... and when asked for my order I said I needed a 'CHICKEN quesadilla combo and a CHICKEN soft taco.' People were still kind of unsure how to react though, it was great. Mm, I wish I was eating those quesadillas right now. Hmn, and now looking over at Jackie in the computer lab here, I wish I was squeezin' her boobies too. I really really miss boobs. Oh so much.
Anyhow. That was camp, basically. The kids did a staged reading at the end of the day, which was actually pretty terrible, but ehn, what can you do about it? Friday night, went over to Dougs. Ken and Zoey were around, and eventually Justin too. It was a lot of fun, laughed myself stupid, played some Smackdown, did an interview with Doug on camera regarding the name Megan, drugs, and Joel. Then we went out to find Justin, who was roaming the streets, and videotaped that too like Doug and I were cops out looking to bash queers. Oh man, it was unreal, just unreal.
So that was Friday. Then Saturday... what happened Saturday during the day? Hmn, not much, I guess. Initially this was the block of time I planned to do my counselling project, but as usual, Ken fell through and wanted to do it some other time. He'd told me that the night before, actually, which I suppose was good of him. Hmn, okay, I guess there was just the concert on Saturday, with some mild visiting beforehand. Well, seems Joel couldn't snag that extra ticket so Zoey could come along with me, but I suppose that was okay. Left for Toronto around 5:45, got there, parked and everything around 7:15, waited in line for a bit over an hour in the freezing cold. I, of course, was wearing shorts n' fishnets, the unbeatable pair. In addition, long sleeve BR shirt with flames under a plain black tee with my AFI patch on the heart. Mm, but line was an adventure. Stood there, all by my lonesome for that hour. Very little contact with others, and I found that to be a good thing, because I pretty much hated them all. Here's why:
Okay, at Bad Religion, the line was huge. I ended up waiting in line for over an hour. Well, being Toronto, there were homeless guys. The first one I passed, I was the only one who dropped a dollar into his cup. Everyone else was just all sour and dumb about him... *after* they passed him, of course.
Yeah, so as we were passing the first one, I noticed I was almost the only one who had bothered to give the guy anything. You'd think 'PUNKS' would have some HUMANITY to help a guy who's stuck on the streets with some SPARE CHANGE. I found a buck in my pocket and gave it to him. He wished me peace and luck, I wished him the same. It was worse with the next guy though. The next homeless guy was talking. He was talking about how much better this world would be if only people loved and respected one another, and really, if we could see fit to do that... to love... then everything would be taken care of for us. He said then Jesus and God would do the rest. And all those stupid fucking kids... they were just mocking the fuck out of him and trying to ridicule him... yet once inside, they'd hear that *EXACT* same message... just without the Jesus part. And you know what... fuck... God or not, if that could happen, who the hell cares?! But they didn't get it. They didn't have a clue. He was just a dirty bum, so who cares? I hate 'punks' so much.
So that was outside. Then... there was inside.
I actually only had a mediocre time at the concert somehow. I attribute it to crowd surfers and people being there who didn't belong there... possibly thanks to Less Than Jake, who opened after Hot Water Music. Too many crowd surfers. I actually ended up getting so pissed off with them that I started yanking their (skate) shoes off and throwing them. But that turned out to be not enough, so I I started biting them. But that turned out to not be enough too, so I started punching them in the nuts (the ones that had nuts, anyhow). It made me feel better, anyhow. But after Less Than Jake, I made it right up to the front, and spent the rest of the night being crushed against the guard wall. My ribs are still tender. A couple of kids came down really hard on the back of my head, really buggered up my neck. Another kid came down hard on my arm, and I smashed my elbow against a support rail holding up the guard wall. I thought I'd have to come out, that's how much it hurt. Thought it was broken for a couple minutes, actually. It was really, really hard taking off and putting on shirts for a couple days after, I tell you that much.
I hate 'punks'.
Oh, now I remember what happened on Saturday, because it happened on Sunday too. Breakfast. Yes, Doug had a big breakfast and invited pretty much everyone he knew out to it. It was a good time... who came around for that, lets see... well, there was Frank and family, Dougs mom, sister and brother in law, Ken, Justin and family, Joel and girlfriend, and... it feels like there were others. Maybe just Zoey, because she was there too, of course, both days. The rest of the time was pretty much just hanging out, usually at Dougs place. But... it was a hell of a lot of fun, and I was sad to leave to come back here.
Did a fair bit of writing on the bus ride back. I was really excited about it at the time, and parts of what I was writing made me tear up... but then I read it over a bit later and just thought it was crap. That was really weird. Eventually, my 7 hour ride was over, caught the bus from the mall, got back here... and became instantly depressed for some reason. Well, first there was my fish tank, covered in a layer of fish food. Yeah, that turned out to be really healthy. One of the remaining two fish died from it. *sigh* And plus I just... felt trapped here. In this place, in this town, in this course, in this room. And with that came depression. Yay!
Sun, Mar 10/02 2:01am
I have to pee but don't want to get up. Aww fuck it, here I go.
Tues, Mar 5/02 3:50am
7 icq spammers in 45 minutes. That has to be a record.
Mon, Mar 4/02 2:55am
Okay, check this out, this is funny. Oh man, my delete key isn't working... that's not so funny. Ah, but this other stuff is. Okay, here's the deal. Krista was yapping up a drunken storm last night with me (see last nights entry), and was again talking to me tonight, all sobered up. Well, having just busted up with her boyfriend, she wants to absolve herself of the pain by quickly jumping to someone else... me. However, the ball is completely in 'my' court. Wait John, my was in quotes... what's the deal? Oh baby, there's a DEAL here.
Seems I'm supposed to TELL her what to do. Yeah. What to do, how to think, how to feel about me. Basically, in proper girl style, she was overcomplicating things to an impossible point of ridiculousness. Lets try to find a good example in my icq history... hmn... oh, here we go:
Me: 'How is you liking me MY choice?!'
Her: 'well then. i suppose that answers it all. u DONt like me back. so another reason to forget it'
Me: 'I am truly mystified as to how you come to these conclusions.'
Her: 'its actually quite simple. see if u didnt turn things around. then i would not thinnk them. which is y i stated what i did. therefore...1)i like u.
and if u liked me back then its you choice on how to handle it.cause i dont over here.'
Me: 'Because you don't what, handle things? Oy vey. Life isn't complicated. Try things out. If they don't work, stop trying those things out.'
Her: 'r "u" these 'things''
Me: 'I think I get it now. If I say yes, and tell you to come after me, and things don't work out... then it's my fault. Is that it?'
Her: 'no. i dont blame things on other people. i blame everything on myself.
u should know that by now'
In the words of Winnie the Pooh... 'Oh bother'. In any event, I like pictures.
What? Pictures? But that has nothing to do with what you were talking about, John! Yeah, no shit. I'm done with that headtwisting nonsense for a while. And yes, I like pictures. I got looking through my lot of them tonight, and felt all warm inside. All kinds of good times, captured on film. Like the second last trip up here to North Bay before I actually began my life here. I have a nice shot of Hoover (on my direction) slipping an ice cube down the back of a sitting and unknowing Lisa's pants, with Dirtmonster at the table in a visor also oblivious to the goings-on. Ahh, good stuff. What else, what else... ah. The view from my room in Windsor, overlooking the graveyard across the road. So strange, that view. And so wet, that city. I still remember getting up early and checking the weather outside, to see if I needed to put plastic bags in my leaky boots that day or not, to keep the rain out. I'd go to English, have a little break, go for a slice of ultra-greasy pizza... mmm, I can almost taste it, it was SO good. They have a different breed of Pizza Pizza down there. I remember walking down the street so many nights to see Ken and the porch monkeys, always hoping that Rachel would be there, before a night of good drinkin' down at Big Dick's or somewhere else. What was the other place we went to a lot? Shit, I don't remember. I'll have to message Ken about it. I remember watching the 'classics of wrestling' there though. Fuck, does the thought of that pizza ever make me hungry now. I'm heavily considering going for groceries. I wish I had some more film for my camera too. I spent the last two pictures on arty shots, but they'll end up looking good. I should get them developed soon. After I come back from BR, I guess, so I see how much money I have to spend on things.
Sun, Mar 3/02 2:38am
So my roommate Jason is in the hospital. Seems around 5 in the morning he fell down some stairs while thrashed, and un-socketed his shoulder badly. Badly enough to have surgery on it. So it's just me and redheaded Chris here til Hoover gets back.
Drunk chicks rule. Krista, who I haven't talked with in a while, is all wasted and is chatting up a storm with me. I guess her and her trendy little scab boyfriend have parted ways (just for the time being, I'm betting), and right now she's quite thrashed and making advances on me left and right. She's got me curious to the point that I might even alert her to when I come back to see BR. I guess we'll see... though I think it'd be a hang out thing more than a going to the Kingdom thing, because I really want to hang out with the NFO suckas on the Friday night I'm back. Hell, I might not even make it back to get to the Kingdom, so even if I wanted to go it would suck to plan things that way.
On that topic, I called up Doug a little while ago and he said he'd be doing the big breakfast thing when I go back, like I (mostly) missed when he first moved into his place. That should be good. I hope Zoey and friends are around for that too... like Layna... and Julia, mmm! I like Julia, she's cool, she's different... even *if* she reminds Ken of a chicken when she nods.
Man, I hope Krista remembers what she's talking about now... because if she does... mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!
Sat, Mar 2/02 4:56pm
That 70's Show is so fucking far-fetched at times. The earlier episodes where Donna and Eric are still together... no way, man. Women don't apologize. No. See, they don't think about the actual situation and their behaviour at the situation, not after the fact. They just think about how much of a jerk you are, and that bubbles and boils, and the longer you put off trying to reconcile, the worse it gets. Or maybe that's just ALL THE GIRLS I'VE EVER KNOWN, I don't know, but they don't seem to apologize when they're wrong.
In other news, I had another dream last night. I seem to be on a roll with mildly enjoyable dreams lately (but not with typing, my fingers are drunk or something this week). However, the one last night wasn't so boss. I remember few bits of things, like driving around with my mom and one of my brothers and talking about the annual Christmas gathering thing. I was all stoked because this year I had a nice(evil, because those are the good ones) girlfriend to bring, so I wouldn't be the only one left out, like I am *every* stupid year. And then from there, I remember finding out that said girlfriend was fucking some other people (yes, plural). That was't so wicked.
Oh fuck, just shot a magnum of Buckleys. I checked the expiry date on the stuff, it's 2004. This stuff lasts for four years? Sick.
As well, I've thought about it, and I don't think Hoover deserves the dirty sex he's having. I, however, do. He's a relationship jumper... from one right to another, if possible, like Ron. I, however, am not. Grr! Somebody, send me some sex, okay? In a *big* envelope.
So now I guess I'm officially on break. I really hope I can find the motivation to do all my projects. For some reason, I think it's going to feel less like a break than last week did, when no one was home. And frig... what else? There was something else, I'm sure of it. Oh yeah. I've come to another conclusion... the road to adulthood begins when you start carrying around a wallet. It's a symbol of responsability, and it means you can't do things like just go pool hopping in all your clothes, or streak around. Because you always need a place to keep that stupid wallet!
Sat, Mar 2/02 1:23am
Holy shit. Guess what I've been doing for the past... 2+ hours. Fucking sitting here, rating people on facethejury.com, and reading movie reviews by the Self Made Critic on Brunching.com. For two fucking HOURS. God, it feels like so much longer. I mean, there's been a scant few other things now and then that I've done, like had an icq conversation which included messages like, "That's deep dude! If u could paint the sky, what color would u paint it. Besides with your mothers dirty pad" and "I'd wipe some of the warm jizz out of your ass for *that* particular duty." Along with, "Wanna um, do stuff & stuff?" and "Well, sucking cock is sucking cock."
You actually have no idea how much I wish more of my conversations sounded like that.
Right now... right now I'd just like to watch a good movie. Something quirky, or classic. A 'Kingpin', or a 'Clockwork Orange'. A 'Big Lebowski' or a 'Fight Club'. And do you know what's on tv?
'House Party'.
What a fucking day. Oh well, Conan's going to be on in a couple minutes... that should cheer me up a little bit.