The Non-abelian Frog

This page is dedicated to jokes about mathematics and physics, especially theoretical high energy physics. If you're thinking that no humour ever came out of these areas then just read this page and feel vindicated.

We need your contributions!

The Jokes

Q: What's green and doesn't commute?
A: A non-abelian frog.

Q: Why don't you find non-abelian frogs in small villages?
A: Because then they would have to commute.

Q: What do you get if you cross a banana with an apple?
A: Banana apple sine theta normal to the plane of banana and apple.

Q: What do you get if you cross a banana with a mountain climber?
A: You can't, because a mountain climber is a scalar

Q: What do you get if you clone a parton?
A: Dolly parton.

Q: Which vampire developed spinor field theory?
A: Diracula.

Q: What type of field theory do rabbits prefer?
A: Lettuce QCD.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius band?
A: To get to the other erm.. um...

Q: Why did the mathematician call his dog Cauchy?
A: Because it left a residue at every pole!

Q: What is the countour integral around western Europe?
A: Zero, because all the poles are in eastern Europe!

A neutron walks into a pub, orders a pint and asks how much it will cost.
The barman replies, "For you no charge."

One numerical analyist to another, "Does 14645575454.464362662546 look right to you?"

Also see...

Know any good jokes?

If you do then congratulations, I'm happy for you. If, however, you enjoyed this page and have something in a similar style you would like to share with the world then please send it to me. All entries must be under 10,000 words long and be quite unintelligible to the general public.

Please mail me any comments/contributions.

Credits

Just as credit should always be apportioned fairly, so should blame. I would therefore like to make it clear that my contribution to the content of this page has been entirely structural and all the praise should go to these guys:

Victor Lesk
Matthew Hunt

Without these kind of people the world would be ... Hmmm, forget that thought.

DISCLAIMER:

All of the 'jokes' on this page are entirely the work of others. I in no way condone their use or approve of their content. Jokes are supplied 'as-is' with no warranty of any kind. Look, I'm just not responsible alright? USE AT OWN RISK.