09/03/03

Welcome to my Web site!

My friend "G" is sooooo boy crazy! The problem is, she has the worst taste. These are the last 2 guys she went out with:

Help this poor girl before she breeds with one of these creatins. Send a photo with phone number to help her get laid. Thanks for your support!

The goods: G is 5'5", 99lbs, has most of her teeth in a jar by the bed, is learning to walk quite straight with the new peg leg (purely elective surgery of course), and makes a killer cup of java. She likes the funky Latin beat of Julio Eglasias and Rico Suave as well as some Indie rock and lesbian folk music. She "works" in the state mental hospital but hopes to move on to lawn maintenance after completing community college someday. Her major is animal husbandry, and she hopes to marry an animal. (I haven't the heart to tell her what animal husbandry really is, the poor dear.) She likes butterflies and barbecue potato chips, but never in the same bowl, that's just bad manners. She has a friend. Just one, but it's a start. Her favorite book is "Pat the Bunny" she says "because it's soft." She likes soft things - yes, you too. She understands the Pythagorean theorem in a way no mortal should, and claims to have actually met Plato once while shopping for frozen peas. She's a marvel and a delight to know. Give her a shot. She likes shots.

Oh, and here's a picture of the dear girl. (She has a lovely personality.) And her rabid pet rat.