Author's Note: Rating is heavy PG-13 for sexual situations in a shounen-ai context (boy/boy) occurring in this chapter (much to Joey's chagrin...)  This is my last warning for the fic, 'cause if you don't mind this, everything else will be a breeze.  And if you do—well, I've warned you for five chapters...

Many thanks to everyone who wades through the warnings and notes and actually reviews at the end of it all.  ^_^    My responses are at the end of Day Three (which is chapter four—yes, I've been told my chapter titles are counterintuitive).  No real notes for this chapter, except that I deviated from the canon just a bit and thought I'd try a different explanation for Joey's take on school. 

Disclaimer:  I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, or else we'd know for sure what kind of underwear Yami wears—if any.  Wouldn't be so hard to get the camera to scroll up that Egyptian kilt of his...  *whistles innocently* 

At breakfast the next morning, Ms. Freak apparently decides to test the theory that shared hardship promotes friendship, because she tells us we're supposed to meet afterwards for another one of her brilliant group activities. Actually, Yami tells me since I cover my ears when her mike shrills because she brought it too close to a speaker, but the point is, we're all supposed to gather on a slope at the far end of the resort. Knowing her, she's gonna force us to have a snow angel competition. I seriously consider skipping out on it and going back to bed.  

But when I mention it to Yami he's all, "A competition?"

"I don't think ya get what I'm saying," I tell him. "Snow angels. Ya get down on the ground and flail around spread-eagle. With everyone in our class doin' it, it's gonna look more like an orgy than a competition."

That gives him pause, but he's still not entirely convinced. He turns and looks at me and—geez. Not the Soft and Wobbly Eyes again. Who does he think he is, Yugi? Well, actually—okay, ignoring that. It's the one thing he's not totally great at, looks more like he has a facial tic than anything else, but I gotta reward the effort.

So that's how I find myself tagging along to the far end of the resort to find out what sort of 'bonding activity' Ms. Freak's gonna throw at us next. Not everyone's here—seems a lot of people had the same idea as me but didn't have to cope with their best friend's other self trying to fake cute and therefore had no reservations about skipping. Still, we've got about a hundred people out here, including most of my friends, though not Bakura. I ask Yami about it.

He shrugs, obviously not half as worried as Yugi would be. "He was in the room last night."

His nonchalance tells me that, (a) Bakura is actually Yami Bakura again and can take care of himself, and (b)—"So you must have been duelin'."

Yami's getting good at avoiding that subject. "Hey, there's Kaiba." He points down the path and I look out of reflex only to see Kaiba walking up to join the group. He's actually socializing? I'm surprised, but when he glances in our direction, I flush and look away. After last night I have yet to be able to look at him again without blushing. I keep picturing him naked, imagine that.

Unfortunately, he appears to know it, too. "Why is Kaiba smirking at you like that, Joey?" Yami asks. Which means that either Yugi was too embarrassed to talk to Yami about our shared mortification last night or Yami is more sexually naive than those leather pants suggest. Somehow I doubt the latter.

"Why does Kaiba ever smirk?" I answer. "Maybe he's picturing me in my underwear." Or less. Yami gives me a strange look. But while we're on the subject, now I know how to change it. Or something. "By the way, Ya—err, Yug, what kind of underwear do you wear?"

And now Yami looks startled. "What?"

"Oh, it's not for me. Kaiba was askin'."

"Kaiba was..." he sputters, and lucky for him is saved from answering by Ms. Freak arriving and calling us to attention. She's got a huge yellow megaphone, and when she holds it to her head, all I can see is the megaphone framed by frizz. She looks like Kuriboh with a beak.

"Attention, Domino High School Students. Domino High School Students only, please," she says. I look around and see nothin' but students, though a few birds do fly out of the trees. That must have been the cue she was waiting for. "Follow me!"

She leads us off the main path. We don't go far, just around a clump of trees to where there's a field of snow. Or what's supposed to be a field, but so many hills and ledges have been formed all over it, most as tall as my head, that it looks like it's been converted to a maze. Reminds me of Labyrinth Wall. Which reminds me of...

I nudge Yami. "Through the snow you must go..."

He looks confused, but after a second's deliberation on the field, he offers, "...Or defeat you will know?"

I snort, he smirks, and we high five. Well, Yami high fives. I hold my hand at shoulder level and pretend.

Ms. Freak raises her beak again. "As you can see, we've got fortresses all around." Fortresses? "This is your battle zone." Battle zone? She seems to realize she's lost us and explains. "This is the Snow Dome—the largest snowball fight arena in our area. We've rented it out for the morning just for Domino High students."

Snowball fights? Does Ms. Freak have any clue what she's just done? This is the class that throws more food on a weekly basis than an army of toddlers. That practices their curve ball by pitching rocks at windows. And she wants to organize a fight with harmless snowballs under adult supervision?

...Okay, maybe she does know what she's doin'. But she still looks surprised when everyone cheers at the news. When she lowers the megaphone I can see her blushing. I guess she's not used to being cool.

Then, of course, everyone starts talkin' about it, and she has to get our attention again. "We're going to form two teams so that roommates are split up," she says. "When you were assigned seating on the bus you were given seats A, B, C, or D. A's and C's gather on the left side of the field to form team one. B's and D's gather on the right. That should separate everyone accordingly."

I'll just take her word for it. Once she's finished giving us instructions I look at Yami. "I guess that means we're on the same team, huh?" It's a given that this is a good thing—the only thing better than having him as a competitor is having him as a teammate.

Yami listens for a moment and then looks apologetic. "Actually, I've just been informed by Yugi that he and Bakura switched seats on the bus because Bakura gets carsick when he's not by a window."

Too much information, though I'm more bothered by the implications in that statement. "So? Switch again! It's not like anyone's gonna know." I'd try the Soft and Wobbly Eyes myself, but I'm more of a Puppy Pout kind of person, for obvious reasons.

It's not as if either would work, though, as he's not even looking at me. "It's just that...." He trails off, staring in the direction of team two. I follow his look and see—oh, for cryin' out loud, tell me he's not dumping me for Kaiba. I'm not believin' this.

"You'd rather be on a team with the corporate monkey than me?" I glare at Yami.

He grins. "Of course not. I was just thinking—I can beat you in a snowball fight."

Sure, sure. I'm still looking for the ulterior motive, but I didn't say that it wasn't fun to compete against him. I can live with that.

"Oh, yeah? I bet I draw first blood," I say, and Yami looks startled again, casting a suspicious look at the snow as if it had some property I had forgotten to tell him about. "It's just an expression," I add hastily. "I'll hit you with the first snowball."

He stops suspecting the snow and regains his confident posture, giving me another arrogant grin. "In your dreams."

We knuckle each other and then part ways. Though that effectively leaves me without a friend on this side, as Tristan is on the other team, and Téa opted to follow Yami. I start scouting for a good fort, but I'm hampered in my search when who should show up and say, "So, where are we hiding?"

I glare at Duke. "We?"

He misses the inflection. "I saw Tristan disappear in the northeast direction," he says. He sounds like a compass, if a compass could talk. "We should pick a spot around that area and try to ambush him."

I cross my arms in front of my chest. "We?" I say again.

"Or we could..." he pauses. "Oh. You don't mind, do you?"

The guy has some nerve. First he makes me wear a dog costume, and then he tries to steal my friend, and now he's tryin' to act all buddy-buddy with me? My perpetual glare must answer his question for him.

"Okay, that's fine," he says, though he looks a little taken aback. "It's just that you're the only person I know on this side."

Thud. I check to see if I got hit by a snowball already, but no, it's just my conscience kickin' me for being so stupid. It finally occurs to me—of course Duke's trying to steal my friends, 'cause he ain't got any others! He's a new student. A transfer. He's probably so anxious for a friend that he'd be happy with anyone who doesn't try to dunk his head in the toilet.

Though he's not exactly torn up over my refusal. He recovers quickly and says, "Guess I'll just have to go pair up with one of them, then," and flashes a grin at a gaggle of giggling girls looking in his direction. My sympathy for him lessens considerably. But no harm keepin' an eye on him.

"You're abandoning me already?" I step in front of him and block his way.

He looks surprised. "I thought..."

"You think too much," I retort, and nod in the direction Duke indicated earlier.   "C'mon. I saw Yugi leave in that direction too and we've got a bet going about who'll hit who first." Instead of walking around the perimeter in plain view of everybody, I walk straight through the middle and weave my way to the left to throw the others off our trail. Duke's enough of a strategist to follow without asking why.

"Are you ready?" Ms. Freak's voice bellows from outside the combat zone. Actually, no. Duke and I exchange a look and dive behind an unoccupied fort just in the nick of time. "On your mark...get set..."

The whistle blows. There's an instant of silence, and then—forget strategy. At least half the students start throwing the snowballs pell-mell, not caring what they hit. And most everyone was smart enough to stay stick near their teammates, but a couple people from each team picked forts in enemy territory and so get pelted with so many snowballs they look like human snowmen. And then, as people start advancing from fort to fort, trying to infiltrate the other side, a thought occurs to me.

"How are we supposed to know who's on each team?" I ask Duke. "We're not wearin' uniforms." Poor Ms. Freak. She tries so hard, but commander-in-chief she is not.

"Doesn't matter. I know who I'm after." He grins. "How about we advance together, watching the other's back. Whoever we find first we gang up against."

"That doesn't sound fair," I say, cringing as I get the image of Yugi buried in a snow bank taller than he is—well, Yami, but it's all the same from the hair up, and that'd be the only thing visible, bright yellow and magenta poking out of the snow like a tulip.

"It's all in good fun. Besides, if Tristan can't take us both, then he needs to shut that mouth of his," Duke says. He has a point. I nod my acceptance. And if Yugi gets buried I'll just have to, err, deflower him.

We make our way forward. Both of us get hit by several snowballs, some from the other team, some from ours. But we land a few of our own, and the important thing is that Yami and Tristan haven't found us yet. Every once in a while Ms. Freak calls a foul on someone, and we all pause in our positions as we wait for her to remove the offender. Then she blows the whistle again and we start back. Duke and I actually work our way to the opposite side of the field without seeing Tristan or Yami. At this point no one has any clue who's on each team anymore, so we just hide behind a fort and figure out Plan B.

"Now what?" I ask. I'm peering around the fort, trying to reconnoiter the area, when I'm suddenly yanked back by my collar and something cold and wet slides my back. I yelp and glare at Duke. "Traitor!"

He snickers at my attempts to shake the snow out of my shirt. "Wasn't me."

It wasn't? Then Yami—but Duke said he'd watch my back. And such a great job he did, too. But if it's not Yami or Duke, then who? I turn around and am less than a hand's breadth away from the culprit's chest.

"Very observant, mutt." Kaiba's smirking down at me. Did I mention I know what his chest hair looks like? I flush again but at least have the excuse of anger this time.

"I should have known," I groan. "What do you want?"

"I need your help."

Both Duke and I blink. I try to calculate the odds of him ever saying those words to me again. It's somewhere between never and never. But when dealing with CEOs, celebrities, and other certified jerks, it's important not to show your surprise. So of course I say—

"Me?" Smooth as sandpaper.

"It's not like I like admitting it," he growls. That's more like the Kaiba I know and tolerate. "Besides, I just need you as a decoy to distract Yugi."

This is highly suspicious. I narrow my eyes. "What, so you can attack him? Aren't you guys on the same team?"

"I work with no one," he says haughtily.

"Then why'd you just ask me for help?"

It's a reasonable question which logically he greets with a snort of derision. "Because it's practical. Merging our assets is mutually beneficial."

Practical? More like unsanitary. My assets ain't gonna merge with anything of his. I cross my arms. "Give me one good reason I should help you attack my friend."

"I just told you—because you're already trying to," he points out. "This way we both win."

Yeah, but I sell out my best friend in the process. "No dice," I say, forgetting my company. "No offense," I apologize to Duke.

He shrugs. "None taken."

Kaiba looks annoyed at both the pun and the answer. "Fine, if you won't accept my offer, I'll just have to offer my services to your competitor." Enough with the business metaphors. I give him a blank look and he rolls his eyes. "I'll tip Yugi off to your location, you dolt!"

Oh, that—hey. "That's blackmail!"

"All's fair in love and war."

"This isn't either!"

I glare at him and all he does is hm. That one was "amused, with a hint of condescension." Sad that I can interpret these things.

I sigh. Here's my first choice—refuse Kaiba and assume Yami has more honor than to accept help from him. But Yami's already opted to be on his side instead of mine once, and if Yugi's in his head blathering on about cooperation—"No, Yami, Kaiba's just trying to be friends with Joey by pranking him!  Joey even told me about it last night"— I'm screwed, and by my own hand, too. For all his faults, Kaiba's a powerful ally. Of course, I have help too.

Some help. I look over at Duke and he recommends my second choice. "You might as well, Joey. Yugi will know it's not it's not your fault." He winks at me. Very disturbing. Not to mention traitorous. I shoulda known better—any guy who idolizes Pegasus ain't gonna have a problem with Kaiba's ethics.

But I say to Kaiba, "Fine." Not because I wanna betray Yami, but because I don't know what else to do and this will buy me time. I'll think of a way to avoid luring him into Kaiba's trap. Double-crossing works both ways.

"You see that tree?" Kaiba says, pointing to an entire clump of evergreens. Very informative. "The one with the fork in it?" I'm seein' why he's a duelist instead of a botanist. "That looks like Yugi's hair?" There's the clincher. I shouldn't laugh, but I do. Kaiba smirks. "Just lure him over there. He was in that area last time I saw him, and he'll see you if you make a break for it."

I groan. That little voice in my head is tellin' me I'm gonna regret this. "Well, here goes nothing."

Literally. I stall at first, sliding behind a few forts, trying to catch Yami and tip him off. But he's nowhere to be found. You'd think it be hard to hide that hair, but this is Yami we're talkin' about. If the guy can win a duel with a Kuriboh in attack mode, a little matter of tri-colored hair's not gonna hinder his camouflage.

But when I don't see him, I have no choice but to do exactly what Kaiba asked. I dart out towards the tree, pursued by several snowballs. I manage to dodge them all and hide behind the trunk—and I still have no idea what to do.

Might as well see if anyone's paying attention. I peer around the tree. This time only one snowball comes flying at me—yikes, that was close—from the only person who cares that a random student is out of bounds, and to him I'm not a random student. I grin in spite of myself. I found Yami.

And ya know—if I hit him first I won't have an excuse to lure him over here. So first I make a snowball, and then I take off my scarf and hold it out slightly. Another snowball whizzes past. I drop the scarf, lean out, and lob my best fastball at him. No good. He ducks and I miss. Damn. He won't fall for the same trick twice. Besides, I'm out of scarves.

So I peer around the tree again. No snowball yet, either he's out of ammunition or he's formulating a plan. I decide to make another snowball and then watch the fort in case he tries changing positions. Doesn't happen, but I do see someone else go behind it. Black hair, red headband, red and black ski jacket. I raise my eyebrows. It ain't the Red Eyes, so—Duke?

...Man, am I really slow on the uptake today. Of course it's him, and not only that, he'll talk to Yami and I'll be off the hook. He even told me that and I was too busy spazzing at Kaiba to notice. "Yugi will know it's not your fault"—duh. Well. That's nice enough that I almost forgive him for the dog costume.

Almost.

In any case, I'm still stuck. Now I can't lure Yami out even if I wanted to, but if I leave I'll lose. Unless, of course, he's stupidly sacrificial and comes over just so I don't have problems with Kaiba. Sigh. Not that he's one to give up intentionally, but if Yugi decides to take over—I gotta do something, quick. I gotta—

Be stupidly sacrificial myself. I almost hit myself. This is a snowball fight, for cryin' out loud. It's not the finals of Duelist Kingdom. Maintaining Yami's dignity in front of Kaiba is more important than gettin' a few snowflakes on my jacket. So I stick my shoulder out slightly. At first, nothing happens, and I think he doesn't get the message. And then a snowball splatters all over my sleeve.

Well, that was anticlimactic.

I run over to the fort they're hiding behind. A few snowballs come after me, but not from Yami. "Thanks, bud," I tell him. "And you too," I add, nodding at Duke.

"We'll have a rematch sometime," Yami says, grinning. "Where is Kaiba, anyway?"

A good question. Very good question, in fact. Odd that Kaiba would ask me to do something and then just disappear. Well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. "No idea. Tell ya what, how about we hit the lodge for some more of that cocoa, anyway? Ms. Freak probably won't even know we're gone."

"No, thanks," Duke says. He scratches his head sheepishly. "I've still got to find Tristan. I lost the pillow fight last night, so if I don't get him here, I'll never live it down."

"Hey, Tristan is lethal with those pillows," I assure him, then turn to my side. "Ya—I mean, ya up for it, Yugi?"

"Sure. But Joey—" Yami looks over at the tree I was standing behind. "You left your scarf."

Damn. "One more trip in the line of fire." I sigh.

Yami's got a mischievous look on his face. Which is a bit nerve-wracking. If it were Yugi, I wouldn't worry—whatever he did could be no worse than a kitten's pounce. Whereas Yami's also a cat, but a big cat. A lion. With a magenta mane, no less.

He runs out before I can protest. "I'll get it."

I sputter. "But—he's runnin' right where Kaiba wants him!"

"I think he knows that," Duke nods. "Never underestimate the power of a rivalry. He's wants to know what Kaiba's up to, but didn't want you to have to get involved. "

And from the sound of his voice, it seems that Duke approves of this insanity. I don't think so. I just lost my bet saving Yami's neck, and I'm not going to let him do this. I run after him. "Hey!" Duke yells after me. I ignore him.

"Yugi!" I shout. "Yugi, what do ya think you're doin'?"

He looks up from where he's picked up my scarf. "Joey?"

Several things happen at once. I reach him. The tree shakes. And Yami and I are covered in five tons of snow. It's freezing. My teeth start chattering and my knees are shaking—I'm a human pupsicle! Ha, I bet even Kaiba could appreciate that one.

But speak of the devil, he swings down from the branch he's been hiding on and shakes his coat, which apparently he'd used for a tarp to gather snow. "Two for the price of one," he says. "Thanks, mutt." Somehow I get the feelin' this ain't a lucky coincidence for him but was in the plans all along.

He walks off, and it's like he's got some shield around him. Snowballs bounce off him like they were made of rubber. Suddenly I'm feeling much better—must be all the rage warming me up. He wants to smirk, I'll give him something to smirk about. I trip over the snow he's dumped on us as I scramble after him.

"Kaiba, you little—"

He ignores me a second too long. When he's at the edge of a fort he turns and looks at me. His eyes widen in surprise as I leap right at him and let loose with a tribal cry. I tackle him. We both go flying straight into the fort, which only resists us for a second before caving in. The people behind it scream.

As does Kaiba. "YOU DAMN MUTT!" he yells for the second time in as many days. I hear the sound of Ms. Freak's whistle.

"Foul!"

~~~

Just like our first night together, we get sent to our room again. Amazingly, it's not me who got in the most trouble this time. I was just guilty of a snowballing foul. Kaiba's the one who cursed in front of every chaperone out there. It was pretty funny to watch him have to just stand there and glower as Ms. Freak berated him for a simple damn while I just smiled cherubically as if such language never came out of my mouth.

Still, since we already had marks against us from our first fight, we had to be reprimanded somehow, and confining us to our rooms after dinner is they way they did it. I play my solitaire game, though when Kaiba turns on the TV, I put on my headphones and listen to my walkman to drown out the gibberish coming out of the set. Things are going fine until Kaiba violates the rules, the ones that say that we have to stay at least five feet away from the other or risk spontaneous combustion. I feel the earpiece pulled back from my left ear and snap back on me.

"Ow!" I push the headphones off and glare at Kaiba. "What was that for?"

"You looked like you were having an epileptic fit," he says, already walking away from me. Fine. He doesn't like my head-banging, I'll bang on something else of his—wow, that sounds really, really bad.

"You big jerk."

"Watch your language, mutt."

"Apparently ya need to take your own advice, moneybags."

Kaiba glares at this, obviously not liking the reminder. I lean back on my pillow and look at the TV screen. Some guy's jabberin' away in a language I can't understand and there's a bunch of ticker symbols on the bottom. There's also a box with close-captioning that's just about as unintelligible as the symbols.

"What is this?"

"The stock market," Kaiba says, as if it should be apparent.

"In what, Chinese?"

"Of course not. German." Oh, of course.

"How'd ya get the German stock market on our TV?" I want to know.

He smirks. "Just because the Kaiba name doesn't mean anything to school officials doesn't mean it doesn't to the hotel staff." He bribed them, in other words. I roll my eyes.

"Glad to know I'm in such outstanding company." I try to watch for a while. It's all pluses and minuses and abbreviations, like someone shook up an algebra book and divined the economy from the result. "This stuff actually interests you?"

"I have to know how my competitors are doing," he says.

"In Germany?" I shake my head. The guy is driven, I'll give him that. Wish he'd drive himself off a cliff, but can't have everything.

"If it bothers you so much, go back to your game," he says. And I should, but those subtitles are addictive, like watchin' a screensaver. I spot something I know.

"They have Coca-cola in Germany?" I ask.

"They have Coca-cola everywhere," Kaiba says. "You could probably go to a primitive Mexican village without electricity and they'd still have Coke."

"Wow. I never knew." We watch the screen some more. Me and Kaiba, watching the German stock market together. Who would've thought.

I make a funny face at one of the company names. "Who names their business Clown Manufacturers? Sounds like they're cloning 'em."

"It's Crown, not Clown, you dumbass," he says. "Can't you read?" Here we go again. This is gonna be a repeat of the bus trip. The poor lil' illiterate mutt. Wait, let me predict the insult—can't teach an old dog new tricks? And then he blinks. "Unless..."

I glare at him. "Unless? Unless what? Of course I can read, you idiot." Good grief, I know the guy doesn't have a lot of faith in me, but give me some credit.

He's got a weird look on his face. It's not shock, it's not surprise, and it's not even derogatory. It might be—sympathy? What the hell?

"Are you dyslexic?" he asks.

What's he playin' at? I don't know what he's talkin' about but I do know I don't need Kaiba feeling sorry for me. I jump up, scattering my cards everywhere and making me curse. I turn my back to him as I pick them up. "What the hell are you on?"

Next thing I know he's on the floor helping me. I'm so surprised I gape at him and drop the cards I'm already holding. "You are, aren't you?" he asks. Man, persistence is not always a virtue, sometime's it's just freakin' annoying. He insists on running his mouth some more. "That's why you had trouble reading on the bus. That's why you squint when you do read." I open my mouth to protest, and he gestures at the deck he's finished gathering. "I bet you don't even read the duel monsters cards. You just memorize the attack and defense points through practice and associate them with the pictures."

I...now that's just scary. So I just blink and stare at him again. "You—I—" I sputter. I can't figure out what I want to tell him off for first. "I can read! I'm not stupid!"

"I didn't say you were." He blinks and I'm speechless. "Not for that," he amends. I think flyin' pigs must be in the forecast tonight, because this has got to be the only time I've ever been glad to hear him call me stupid. "It's just a learning disability."

A learning disability. Kaiba thinks I'm too dumb to learn on my own. Damn him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I do not have a problem, okay?" I turn my back on his protests and walk towards the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower." I'm understanding why Kaiba uses that as an excuse so much. And also why he slams the door as hard as he does. Mine makes the mirror shake.

I turn the water on as hot as I can make it without burning myself. My scalp and skin protest as I scrub them. I shouldn't take it out on them, but—geez. If I try my hardest in school and still get the worst grades of all my friends it's my own damn fault, not because some amateur Freud thinks something's wrong with my brain. Kaiba's just lookin' for yet another way to feel superior to me. I'm rinsing my hair and trying to figure out the easiest way to use the showerhead as a murder weapon when...

The toilet flushes. Oh, shit—no pun intended.

I look around the shower curtain resignedly. Something tells me I didn't lock the door. And now, sure enough, the room is devoid of any towels or clothes. And to think, Kaiba didn't even have Yugi's help, he did this all on his own. I turn off the water and stand in the shower for a moment, dripping and staring at the wall in happy disbelief.

This is the nicest thing Kaiba has ever done for me.

No, really. It's so beautiful I could cry—though maybe that's just because I'm butt-naked without even a washcloth in the room. That's not Kaiba's style. Apparently he figures "I show you mine, you show me yours." But don't ya get it? He's treating me as an equal. He's sayin', "Look, mutt, I like ya enough that I'll stoop to your level to cheer you up when I accidentally hurt your feelings." I'm touched. I'm truly touched.

And also naked. Can't forget that. I sigh—might as well get this over with. I look in the mirror and practice my confident face. The glass is all steamy from the shower but I think it just makes me look scarier. 'Course anyone from Tristan to Kaiba would say the reflection's scarier when it's clear, but who are they to talk?

Anyway, I straighten my shoulders and walk out of the bathroom, my death glare already fixed in place. It falls ineffectively on his back—he's sitting at the table, facing away from me, typing on his laptop. Three stacks of print-outs and a neatly folded pile of towels are right next to him. My jeans and t-shirt are right behind it, perfectly folded as if they were on display in a department store. I swear. If we're gonna go diagnosing mental problems here I'm labeling Kaiba obsessive-compulsive.

I cross the room and hold out my hand. "Towel, please."

And he turns around.

I'm—just going to look at the ceiling now. It's one of those popcorn ones with all the little raised dots. Ya know, if ya connect the dots just right I can see the Red Eyes Black Dragon in there. And hey, there's Dark Magician, and Kuriboh, and—

—and I'm bein' a wimp. Okay. I take a deep breath and look him straight in the eye. His face is unreadable, but he doesn't meet my gaze for long. He just looks me up and down without sayin' a word. And then he...does it again! Man, I feel like I'm in a meat market. Any minute now he's going to reach out and start squeezing something—and considering what's out in the open, that is not a good thought.

And...he's still staring.  What, does he have to get it down to the last millimeter?  Finally. He hands me a towel. I tuck it firmly around my waist and turn around to go finish my shower. I can hear him return to his laptop. We still haven't said anything. I get halfway across the room—

A snicker.

I knew it. "You little—"

I spin on my heels and try to leap across the room but he's expecting me. He catches me off guard and grabs me around the waist, throwing me to the bed. Real subtle, Kaiba. But I roll with it, literally, and manage to fall into the floor space between our beds. He tackles me and I use my shoulder to knock him off. He staggers and then uses my bed to rebound, grabbing me by the arms, spinning me around and slammin' me back down on the bed. And now I've got a problem, because he's stronger than me and he's got me pinned. A second passes.

"Say uncle."

Riiiight. "Yours, monkey-boy?"

And then—oh, this is so not good, how did Kaiba know I was ticklish?! He uses one hand to pin both my wrists over my head and uses the other to tickle my side. I try not to laugh but it's a lost cause. I jerk involuntarily, twisting away from his hand, and Kaiba holds me down even more firmly.

"Say uncle!"

"Never!"

I'm choking on my words and Kaiba's smirking. And now he's tickling my stomach and is lucky I don't knee him in the gut when I jump out of reflex. He responds by climbing on top of me so now my legs are pinned, too. Remember how I made him mad 'cause I said he liked bein' on the bottom? He's obviously tryin' to prove me wrong.

"Say it!"

"Stop that!"

I sound ever so convincing, reduced as I am to quivering mass of laughter. He doesn't even have to hold my arms now, I'm laughing too hard to fight him off effectively. I swat at him with about as much ferocity as—well, a puppy. He uses both hands to tickle me which reduces me even more.

"Say it!"

"Stop! I won't!"

His hands are on both sides of me. I try to curl in on myself, my head butting against his chest as I do, and he uses the weight of his body to stop me. I end up staring him in the face, so close that I could kiss him. But what surprises me are his eyes—they're twinkling more than I've ever seen before. The guy's actually havin' fun, and he's not even dueling or firing somebody.

"Say it!"

His hands are all over the place, he's practically straddling me, I'm hot and sweaty from the shower and the laughter and it's gettin' harder and harder to breathe—

Holy shit. That's not the only thing gettin' hard.

I'm suddenly acutely aware of the fact that I lost my towel somewhere in the commotion and I'm lying naked underneath him. My sweat turns cold and it feels like my skin shrunk two sizes, I'm so tight. "Stop." My voice is weak at first but it grows to a shout. "Stop it. Stop it! "

I regain my strength and shove him in the chest. His eyes widen, and when I push him again, he lets me. I scramble out from under him, hastily finding my towel on the floor.

"I..." he starts to say.

"Leave me alone." The towel is around my waist and I run into the bathroom. I remember to lock it this time, and then I sit on the lid of the toilet, head in my hands. My arms are shaking and my heart's still doin' the mariachi. Tell me this is not happening.

I got turned on by Seto Kaiba.

He's outside, knocking on the door. "Joey."

I have never heard that word come out of his mouth before. Doesn't even sound like me, sounds like some other guy with that name. Or something like that.

"Joey," he tries again. "I didn't..."

"Leave me alone!" I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to hear about it, I don't even want to think about it. But Kaiba's still out there jingling the doorknob and tryin' to get me to open up. In more ways than one. I hit myself for the thought.

"But I..."

"LEAVE!"

There's silence, and then—"FINE!"

And then he's gone. But for some reason it's not satisfying when I hear him stomp angrily away and then slam the door. I'm left alone with my thoughts, but why do I get the feelin' that may be even worse than if he'd stayed.

TBC...

*

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