I was spending Christmas with Brian’s family this year. My parents had been called away with dad’s work commitments and mom had to go with him. Our families had been close friends since both Brian and I were babies 17 years ago. We had grown up together, sharing every childhood adventure together, every mischievous event. My older brother, Steven, and Brian’s older brother, Harold, always teased and tormented us, but we always plotted our revenge admirably. We had a special bond.
This year was different though. This year I had begun to see Brian as more than just a best friend. I was finding it increasingly awkward being around him. It was difficult not to show him how I felt, but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship in any way. I wanted that special bond to be with us forever. So far I hoped I had been able to hide the way I was feeling.
But now I also wanted more and felt scared that if I told him that he would laugh at me. I didn’t want him to laugh at me. Whenever I was in a room with him now, doing homework, planning days together, or just hanging out, I found myself imagining what it would be like to kiss him, be kissed by him, have those sweet lips I kept staring at on mine. I wanted those arms around me in more than the friendly hugs we had shared so many times.
So when I knocked on the door of the Littrell family home on Christmas Eve, I was more than a little nervous about how the holiday season would go. I just hoped my crazy hormones didn’t ruin it for everyone, especially Brian and I.
Brian answered the door. “Woah. Look at you! You look superb.”
I blushed. “Thank you Brian.”I had taken some time deciding what I would wear tonight. I did want to grab his attention as more than buddy Sue, but I didn’t want to be blatantly obvious either. He stood in the doorway just looking. “Ummm,” I hesitated. “Can I come in? It’s cold out here.”
“Huh? Yeah, sorry, of course.” He moved aside and let me walk in and I sensed him watching me. I grew a little warm at his scrutiny. Could he possibly be feeling the same as me? “Mom and Dad are out right now. I thought we could watch a bit of TV in my room. I hired a movie.”
“Oh which one?” I asked him.
“Some Christmas title someone at the store suggested,” he said taking my hand in his and squeezing it.
I frowned to myself. What did that squeeze mean? Was I reading too much into this? I had to be. Brian had never shown any interest in anything more than friendship to me before now. I clung on to his hand, not wanting to let go and he raised an eyebrow at me. I just smiled sweetly and he looked away quickly. This puzzled me even further.
Once in his room, we sat down on the bed, both of us leaning against the bed head. Brian flicked the button on the remote control and a cute romantic Christmas movie came on. I was finding it hard to concentrate on the movie with Brian sitting so close, our sides touching. He was holding on to my hand, but this was something we had done many times before. This time he was bringing out emotions in me I didn’t know I had and I could feel the tension between us.
Without warning Brian bounced up as if he couldn’t sit still any longer. He had given me a fright, and I told him so. “Sorry. Do you want a drink or something? I gotta go get something from downstairs.”
“Yeah, a Pepsi would be good,” I answered him.
"Okay, be right back,” he said, running out of the room as if his life depended on it. This was not going well, I thought. This was not the friendly camaraderie that we usually shared. I sighed, hoping things between us would never change to a level of discomfort between us that could not be repaired. I wanted to cry at the thought of us not being friends.
“Why the sad face?” Brian said as he came back into the room. “Come on Squeak,” he said referring to his childhood nickname for me. “It’s Christmas. Smile.”
I looked up at him and smiled. How could I not smile when he was looking at me, his dazzling blue eyes smiling at me. He really was very good looking. Putting it mildly I thought to myself. He was stunning. I had always known this, just not thought too much about it. Now I constantly found myself breathless at the thought of his beauty.
“That’s better.” He looked away for a moment. He took a deep breath and turned to look at me. He took my hand in his and pulled me up off the bed. Normally I would have protested, asked him what the hell he was doing, but some sixth sense warned me not to.
He pulled me to stand in front of him and I looked up at him. I was mesmerised by his eyes. I didn’t hear what he was saying. He stuck out a neatly wrapped box he held in his hand mumbling Merry Christmas to me.
I looked down at his hands and blinked. “It’s not Christmas yet,” I said rather stupidly.
“That’s okay, I wanted to give you this in private.” He seemed nervous, making me even more nervous. “Go on open it.” He licked his dry lips. I wanted to groan.
I unwrapped the gift with shaking fingers. I could tell Brian wanted me to hurry, his fingers twitching about wanting to help me. But he held back, letting me unwrap it slowly. Inside the package was a jewellery box. I looked up at him and he nodded at me, urging me to open it. Slowly I flipped open the lid.
My eyes popped open. Inside lay a gold bracelet, a fine chained with a name tag. On it, in fancy, lettering was my name. I picked it up and let the delicate chain slide over my fingers. He must have saved forever to pay for this.
“Oh Brian, I don’t know what to say. It’s beautiful.”
“You like it?” he asked, eager to know.
“Like it? I love it. Oh thank you Brian” I said and flung my arms around his shoulders for a hug. I began to feel slightly uncomfortable, even though it was something we had always done as kids. I moved away self consciously.
“Here, let me,” He said, taking the bracelet and putting it on my wrist. I looked at it and it turned on my wrist. I noticed an inscription on the back and took a closer look.
“Love always… Brian” it said and I looked up at him. He smiled softly and I couldn’t help myself, I leaned up and kissed him.
I don’t know how it happened, but that quick kiss on Brian’s lips to thank him for the gift escalated to more. I moved away from Brian, but he leaned down, capturing my lips for another kiss. He softly moaned my name encouraging me not to move away. Our lips locked together for a kiss that spoke volumes. He also had more feelings than only friendship. My heart was doing a dance in my chest, my body humming with happiness. His tongue traced my lips and I let it in, to hesitantly make contact with mine. I clung to him, arms wrapped tightly around him, his arms holding me close to him.
In the vaguest part of my mind I heard the movie still playing. Right now I wanted to explore the sudden change that was taking place in our relationship.
Brian leaned in close and whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Merry Christmas Sue. May it be one of many more for us, together.” He said with the emphasis on ‘together’.
I looked up and saw something in his eyes. A promise. And love. I sighed, knowing now, that we both felt the same way and I could relax into more than just a special friendship, it was a special relationship.