Chapter 16
Back in Lexington I prepared for Christmas with a new happiness in my life. I hadn't felt like this for quite some time. If I was honest with myself, it was not since Brian had left. Yes I had had some days of happiness, like the birth of my baby cousin, the day Jac, Kerry and I graduated, days out with my friends and more, but they were still always tinged with some sadness, some essence of something missing in my life. Now that something was back, and although still wary, I was truly happy again.
One of the first things I did when I got back to Lexington was visit with Jackie. "Sue!" Jackie called out, throwing her arms around me when she saw me standing in the doorway. "How are you? Or should I say, how did it go?" She held her hand up. "No, wait. Come inside, let me make us some coffee."
I stamped the snow off my boots and took them off at the door. This weather was so different to Orlando. We went inside and I sat smiling as she made the coffee. She cut some cake and brought it over, then bringing the coffee. She knew how I liked my coffee, and I took a mouthful of the brew before looking at her, a big smile on my face.
"Oh, by the look on your face things went well." The smile on her face at that thought showed that it was what she wanted too.
I nodded. "Yeah. Things went very well Jackie." I sighed. "It was so good to see him again. It took all my willpower not to throw myself into his arms and kiss him silly." I admitted to her. I had never held anything back from Jackie. She knew exactly how I felt about her son.
"But you did right? You didn't give in to him right away did you? After the heartache he caused you, I hope you made him sweat." She said and I laughed at the way she was talking about her own son. She was on my side in this situation because she could see Brian was wrong.
"Jackie, I lasted till the third day."
"And did he sweat out those three days?" she asked.
I smiled at the memory. "I think so. I told him I couldn't just trust my heart to him. I am still wary. But he was so romantic. He treated me like a princess, he spoiled me and showered attention on me. He knew I loved him no matter what and it was only a matter of time. But I reminded him many times I was still wary. Even when we left I reminded him not to forget me."
"What did he say then?"
"He kissed me," I told her blushing at the memory. Brian had kissed me so lovingly before I got on the plane to come home, I never wanted to leave his side. I felt the love coming from him, and even my head knew this time things would work out. I was putty in his hands and I think he knew it. "Then he told me I would be his forever. Thing is I always was his. He just needs to be mine."
"Sue," Jackie said putting her arm on mine. "He was always yours, he just didn't know it."
"I know, I think, but I was always scared someone else would come along and claim him before he realised it."
"Well, now you don't need to worry." She looked and I could tell she was wondering if she should say what was on her mind. She did. "You know he rang me up while you were there. He sounded so happy again, he hadn't been for a while. I could tell the difference in his whole attitude. He asked if I had anything to do with your coming down there. I told him no, you just went on a vacation, but he still thanked me. Did you tell him about how often we would get together to talk?" I nodded. "He thanked me for that too, for looking after you when he should have been."
"I'm glad he did, because without you Jackie, I think I would have fallen apart. I thank you too." I stood up and gave her a hug. "Oh and also, as far as you know, stick with that story about our vacation. I brought up his surgery, and told him I was worried about, but you had nothing to do with me being there." Jackie laughed. "So we have to get our story straight."
"Did you have any success?" she asked warily.
"Not really. It's management he said. I found it hard to insist he have this, even give him an ultimatum, because as he said, I have no idea what is going on in his life." Jackie's head went down. This time it was my turn to put my hand reassuringly on her arm. "I'll keep working on him Jackie, don't you worry about that. I am not going to lose him again."
Three days later Brian was coming back in town. It would be 2 days before Christmas, and I would have three days with him. Then he was off to Canada for a few days, for a round of concerts including Toronto for a special show. He wouldn't be back near home till mid January after that.
Up until he got back home, he was spoiling me. Every day, something would arrive for me by delivery. The first day came more yellow roses. They smelled divine and the card that came with it made my heart melt. Sue, I have just one thing to say, I love you and I always will Baby. Your one and only. Brian He sent chocolates and I cried when they arrived. They were my favourites and I was touched that he remembered. The day before he came home he sent me the funniest gift of a new Kentucky University sweatshirt. He had noticed how worn mine was, but the thing was, nothing would replace the old one. It was nice to have a new one though.
He also rang me, any time of the day or night. I could have been doing anything, but the sound of his voice made me stop whatever I was doing and give him my sole attention. To hear him talking to me about his days, whispering words of love to me and even singing to me over the phone was what I had been dreaming of for the past 4 years. Now it was happening and I was happy to stay on the phone for as long as he wanted. And he was happy to keep talking, telling me a million different ways how much he loved me and how much he was missing me.
Two days before Christmas I went to the airport to meet Brian. His mom had suggested I go, instead of them, something I was glad to comply with. The second he saw me he began running towards me, dropping his bag and pulling me into his arms and spinning me around twice. When he put me down, sliding me seductively down his body, his lips came down to mine, softly kissing me, reluctant to let go.
"It's so good to see you again, these three days away have been unbearable for me. Now I know what I was missing all these years, I can't bear the separation. I sort of know what you were feeling all that time now. Ask the guys," he carried on, "they said I was unbearable to be with." He said and I smiled. While I had been feeling better about our relationship, able to cope because I had plenty of practise, he was missing me. The shoe was on the other foot now.
"I missed you too, It's so nice to see you again." My body was humming, but we had to remember we were in an airport, in public. People were rushing around us, taking no notice of what we were doing. I guessed an airport saw a lot of happy reunions. "Come on, lets get you home." I suggested.
"So long as you are coming too. I want to spend every minute with you."
I agreed with him, taking his hand while we went to collect his bag. A couple of young fans recognised him and he gladly signed a few autographs, and reluctantly let me go so they could have their photo taken with him. He did not hide the fact that he was with me though, taking my hand in his as soon as he was finished with the girls.
"I thought it was frowned upon Brian." I said to him as we walked away.
"What's that Baby?"
"That you let the fans know you are close to a girl." I said simply, testing his reaction.
"Sue, right now, I really don't care who finds out about us." He stopped and looked me in the eyes a gentle expression shining from them. "They are going to have to get used to you because I am yours forever."
"Do you really mean that this time Brian?"
He brushed his fingers down my cheek ever so softly. "Yes, I really mean it. I bless the day you came back into my life and now I am not going to let you go."
I smiled at him and we kept walking to my car. We arrived at Brian's house shortly after and all the excitement began. I stood back and watched as he was reunited with his mother after a long time. She beamed at seeing him and whispered something in his ear, both of them turning to look at me, grinning. I made a "what?" gesture and they both laughed at me. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch them. As much as I wanted to be with Brian, he told me I had him forever and was happy to stand back and watch the love between mother and son. They had a special bond that was there for anyone to see. His dad came out and the hugs began again. This truly was a special family. His brother was out right now, but I knew when he returned it would start again, along with some good natured ribbing.
Brian came over to ask if I wanted to go for a drive. "Brian, don't you want to spend some time with your parents?"
"Yes, but I also want to spend it with you. Is that so wrong? We will have plenty of time with them. Will you stay with me?"
"Of course. Where do you want to go now?"
"I'd like to do something normal. Some Christmas shopping, followed by some dinner somewhere. Would you like to do that? It's been so long since we have done that. Maybe we can go to that restaurant we had our first date at."
"You remember where?"
Yes Sue, I remember. I might have neglected you over these years, but I do still remember what happened before I left. Especially our times together. So how about it? You want to come with me?"
"Sure I do. So long as I am with you, I don't care where we are." I stood in front of him, looking at him, just admiring his features. I smiled and reached up to kiss him, starting as a soft gentle kiss, escalating into a passionate union. I knew it was getting out of hand, but I couldn't help myself. Brian returning the kiss with equal fervour did nothing to quell my sudden need for him. My arms wrapped around him, holding him close to me. I moved my hips against him and he tore his lips away from mine.
"Wow, you sure have grown up." Brian said, still dazed, breathing heavy.
I snapped out of my sensual fog and pulled back. "Oh God I'm sorry Brian. I don't know what came over me." I felt my face burn with embarrassment. I wanted to move away but Brian still held me to him. I felt his desires quite clearly.
"Hey," he said lifting my gaze to his, "no need to apologise."
"Yes there is. I was leading you on, and I am still not ready for us to go that step further." I could see the flicker of disappointment in Brian's eyes, but he hid it quickly. Never the less I saw it and felt bad for having led him to believe, with just one kiss, that things had changed. I still wasn't ready for that. In the back of my mind, I still needed more from Brian to know we were forever. I needed that first. "I'm sorry Brian," I said laying my head on his chest.
He kissed the top of my head. "It's okay Sue. I want you to know I will wait for you forever. One day you will believe me. And then you will be ready. I am patient when it involves something I really want."
"You really want to…" I stopped. "…to make love with me?"
"Oh more than you will ever know. When you are ready," he told me pulling my face up to his for another kiss.
That gave me something to think about while we shopped at the local mall. First I needed to totally trust Brian, and second I had to be fully ready to take that step. Brian distracted me from my thoughts often though. I laughed at him when he came downstairs after getting ready. He was hardly recognisable, having to disguise himself when he went out. He hadn't brought his bodyguard, so he had to take care.
That day and the next day were spent the same by us. We were barely apart, Brian even staying the nights at my place. He stayed in Jac's room while she was away for a few days, then spending Christmas day at home with her parents. I felt bad that Brian wasn't with his parents, but he insisted on staying with me. Jackie took me aside one of the times we were there and assured me it was fine with them. She was just happy to see Brian was finally back with me, where he belonged.
Chapter 17
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