Chapter 19

So five days later Kerry, Jac and I were on a plane bound for Montreal. We had checked the weather reports and it was cold. Colder than we were used to in Kentucky even, and we packed accordingly, meaning we had two suitcases each. The guys would be amused when they saw us, but none of us were prepared to be cold, especially not me. I didn't do cold well. Jackets and sweaters were the order of the day.

I had sort of expected Brian to be at the airport to pick us up, but when he wasn't there I realised the foolishness of that thought. It would have been dangerous for any of the guys to be out to collect us from the airport. So, there we stood, not knowing what we would be doing next, which direction to walk in. Surely someone would be coming to collect us. But Montreal airport was big, we didn't know where to start.

Suddenly Kerry saw a big guy holding up a sign that read my name on it. "Over there Sue." She said excitedly, pointing to the right.

We walked to the man holding the sign and introduced ourselves. It was the same man who I had seen with Brian before. He helped us to collect our bags and then escorted us to the waiting limousine, stowing all our luggage and climbing in.

The three of us were impressed, never having been in a limousine before. Well, I had been in one with Brian all those years ago, but it was a day I preferred to forget. We giggled like school girls as we drove through the city of Montreal. We felt so important riding in the back of this car. The giggling turned to awe when we saw the amount of girls waiting outside the hotel we were driving in to.

It was scary driving in there, arriving in the limo, a real day to day experience of the Boys life, but to us it was new. My guess was they all thought a Backstreet Boy was actually in this car and they surged forward, only to be pushed back by security. They were screaming at the tops of their lungs, shouting out all the Boys names in hopes one of them would get out. I wondered how they would react when they realised it wasn't one of them. Was this one of the limos that they had been using? If so, what would the reaction be when 3 girls got out?

That didn't take long for us to find out. Kerry climbed out first and the screaming continued. I followed her, with Jac bringing up the rear. The door was closed and they realised that was it. No Backstreet Boy. Then the screaming took on a different nature. Some were calling out rude comments, some quite nasty. We were told to ignore them, but it was difficult. I didn't get it.

We were hurried indoors where there were a few more fans waiting, but they hadn't seen us getting out of the limo so left us in peace. Our bags came in not long after us, a porter pushing them in. Well, it was obvious to all outside that the three of us were staying. To those inside we probably looked like more fans booking in. It hadn't been discussed by us at all, but we were being booked into a room that we would share. I didn't know about the others, but I wanted to be sharing with Brian. We knew nothing was going on between us, but I supposed it was for their image that we were booked in separately.

I was eager to see Brian again, having been 5 days without him. It had been a sad farewell again, bringing back terrible reminders of the two times he left me in Lexington previously. This time I had gone to the airport. Brian had been loving and considerate, telling me I would see him again soon, and that he loved me. He had been so gentle with me, kissing me softly the whole time we said goodbye. I knew this departure was different, but it opened wounds. Little things like this stopped me from letting go of the past.

We were led to the elevators, receiving curious stares as we went, particularly with Brian's bodyguard leading the way. It was a top class hotel and I wondered if they always stayed in such class. The surroundings were elegant, and I felt uncomfortable arriving the way I was dressed. I was glad to get into the elevator and have the door close, away from the fans view.

The doors opened on the 5th floor, and a quick scan of the floor was done before we were allowed out and then led to our room. Our bags were brought in, and in the blink of an eye, we were left to ourselves to unpack and get comfortable. We'd been told the Boys were all at a radio interview, and would return shortly.

"Oh My God, that was an experience." Kerry breathed out once the door closed. She threw herself onto one of the beds and sighed.

I was just speechless, looking out the window at the masses of girls standing below. Was this really what they had to put up with, day in, day out. "Do you think this happens everywhere they go?" I was stunned. I had no idea.

"Probably. They are bigger here in Canada right now than home." Jac informed us. She had followed the group as much as I had.

"Well, we are here, what? Overnight? Not much point in unpacking too much." I said as I looked at my bags. "We leave straight after the show tomorrow night Brian said, on the bus to Ottawa. This sure is going to be an experience." I began to take some clothes out. The jacket I had been wearing, a big thick ski jacket, I hung up at the door. Then the clothes I had carefully picked out for tonight. I hung them up, letting the small creases from travelling hang out. My toiletries I took to the bathroom. I wasn't used to living out of a suitcase and knew I would be dashing around packing it all away again in the morning.

Not ten minutes later there was a knock at the door. Jac being the closest answered it waving me away as I tried to beat her. "Hi Brian," she said looking over his shoulder. I knew what, or who she was looking for.

"Hi Jac, Hi Kerry", Brian said striding past Jac and towards me purposefully. "Hi Beautiful," he said when he reached me.

"Hi Brian," I said to him.

He pulled me into his arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Nothing else was said, we gazed at each other then he lowered his head to mine and kissed me longingly, sending my mind in to a total spin. I heard Jac and Kerry teasing us in the background, but I wasn't comprehending what. All I was focussing on was the kiss Brian was giving me. The 5 days since I had seen him were tough, but this time they had been filled with lots of long love filled phone calls. "Come to my room, I want to show you something."

"What?" I asked squinting my eyes at him curiously.

"Did you learn that line from Kevin?" Jac asked teasingly. She was much more comfortable with the teasing side of Brian than Kerry was, having known him all her life, but I could tell she wanted to join in too.

"No Jac, does Kevin use that line?" he asked winking. Jac had the grace to blush. He looked back at me. "I have a surprise for you."

"You do?" I asked dumbly.

"Hmmm, come on. I am sure there will be someone along for these two shortly. There were two guys in the limo nearly busting to get back here to see someone. I can't think who though." He teased and two pillows sailed through the air, hitting him in the back of the head. "Children," he laughed.

He took my hand firmly in his and led me out of the door. His bodyguard was waiting outside, ready to escort us to Brian's room. "Brian, what's his name?" I asked in a whispered voice looking over my shoulder at him.

"Haven't I ever introduced you?" I shook my head. "Sorry Sue. This is Tom. Tom, please meet Sue. I'm sorry I should have done this before."

We said our hellos and then continued on. Tom was very business like, but I suspected he and Brian had a special relationship.

Brian's room was only 3 rooms down from ours. He unlocked the door, and told me to close my eyes. He stood behind me and put his hands over my eyes, kicking the door open with his foot. He led me in slowly, so I wouldn't trip and I was enjoying the feel of his body right behind mine.

He stopped and took his hands away. I blinked to adjust my eyes and looked at the table in front of me. It was set for a romantic meal for two. It was still the middle of the day, but he had candles lit, wine chilling in an ice bucket beside the table and what looked like a chicken Caesar salad.

I looked up at Brian who was still behind me, my desires going into overdrive. I'd always loved Brian, but right at this moment, I never felt it more. "Life is so hectic on the road, but I wanted to take this time out to spend with just you. Just the two of us." He leaned down and kissed me sweetly, teasing me as he moved away. "I love you Sue. I really do." He said to me, before crashing his lips down for a passionate kiss.

I wanted him to keep kissing me. I didn't want anything else, just what I had now, but before very long, Brian stepped back and guided me to the table, pulling my chair out for me before sitting opposite me.

We made small talk through the meal, but my mind was solely on Brian. I was barely keeping any conversation going, Brian was doing nearly all the talking. I wanted him, I knew I did, but I also knew I couldn't tell him that and then back out again. I wouldn't do that to him. I wouldn't do it to myself either. I still wasn't ready.

"You're awful quiet today, are you okay?" Brian said to me reaching out to lay his hand over mine. Soft music played in the background and I was starting to lose myself in the moment.

I shrugged. "I'm just glad to be here."

He looked up, his expression hooded. "Did you think you wouldn't see me again?" he asked.

I sighed. "No Brian, that's not it." I slid my hand out from under his and took his hand in mine. "I just mean exactly that. I am glad to be here, with you, no one else." My insides were in a turmoil, desire was surging through me. I got suddenly scared and stood up walking over to the huge glass door, opening it and walking onto the balcony.

"Sue?" Brian called out. "What's wrong?" He came as far as the window and no further. I could hear screams from below and realised that the fans could see up here. It was 5 floors, but they could still see. Brian couldn't risk walking out on the balcony, aside from the fact that he was scared of heights. A little softer now he called, "Sue?"

I looked over the edge. "I'm scared Brian."

"What was that Sue?" He hadn't heard me at all. I turned to face him. "I'm scared Brian."

He reached out his hand and captured mine, pulling me in the door as he did. He closed the door and the curtains and pulled me into his arms. His hand framed my face, his thumb softly stroking my cheek in a comforting manner. "What are you scared of?" he asked me. "Not that I will leave you? Because I won't." I shook my head. "What then?"

"Of us. Of the way I am feeling. Of the strength of this love I have for you."

"Sue, why does that scare you?"

"Same old reason I guess I am scared of being hurt again."

"Sue. I am not going to hurt you. I will do everything in my power to be sure I never hurt you again. I've hurt you enough."

"But… No never mind." I said nothing for a while. I believed him. "I'm scared because I want you too much."

"You want me?"

"Yes. Can't you tell? When I look at you, when I touch you, when I kiss you. I want you, but that scares me. I can't do it yet."

Brian framed my face with his fingers. Again his thumbs caressed my cheeks, I loved it when he did that. "Sue. Don't be scared. I won't ask anything of you."

"I don't mean you Brian. I mean me."

"I promise. Nothing will happen till we are both sure. I won't pressure you."

I smiled weakly. "Thank you Brian." I needed to lighten to mood. "But you will still kiss me won't you?" I grinned at him.

"I can guarantee it Beautiful." He stopped, figuring now was probably not the best time to kiss me. "Hey, you didn't say if you liked lunch."

"Lunch?" I looked confused at him and looked at the table. "Oh lunch!" I laughed. "Actually I didn't eat much, can I have some more?"

Brian laughed and led me back to the table, kissing the top of my head as he sat me down. "Here, you eat, I have to get cleaned up before we leave. Do you want to change? Or will you be going in that?"

"No, I do want to change."

So I had a little more of the food while Brian got himself ready. I heard the shower running and that did nothing for my desires for him right now. I decided to slip out into my room and go and get changed while he did. Not surprisingly, neither Jac or Kerry were there, so I quickly and quietly showered and changed. Brian knocked on the door as I was drying my hair and I let him in. I got a pleasing "wow look at you," from him and went in to finish getting ready. Then we headed down to our waiting limo, a black one this time.

Chapter 20
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