Chapter 20

Getting out of the hotel was an experience. Each of the guys was arriving at the venue in different cars so our limo was just for us. But we were spotted by the same group of fans as before. I was dressed differently, but they would have known I was the same person as before, meaning they would match me up with Brian.

"Take no notice of them Sue. From experience they aren't inclined to like seeing new women at our sides. I have only experienced it a couple of times, but the others have. I'll just sign a few autographs and I will be back with you okay? Wait in the car for me."

I shrugged, "Okay." Tom moved away with Brian and I made my way into the waiting car, receiving a curious look even from the driver. Tom had nodded at him and he let me in.

Sure enough, there were some cat calls among the crowd, some of which surprised me and had me shaking my head. "I don't understand it Brian." I said when he returned to me. "They don't know me. They don't know what is going on between us. I could be your cousin for all they knew."

"But they will have all sorts of scenarios flying between them by the time we drive out of here." He said. He didn't say it with bitterness, just resignation that it will always happen. "Just don't let it worry you, please. I don't want them turning you away from me." He seriously sounded worried about that.

"Don't worry Brian. I will decide of I stick around," I saw the fear suddenly enter his eyes. "And I won't be going anywhere. I waited too long to get your love back, I am not letting anyone else take it away again."

He squeezed my hand and kissed me. There was no danger of me losing control here in the car so I pulled him into my arms, deepening the kiss. Brian moaned aloud returning the kiss, which then encouraged me on again.

"Baby, you're driving me wild here. I won't want to perform tonight at this rate."

I smiled. "Yes you will. You have to show me what you are made of remember."

At that he grinned boyishly at me. "You bet I will."

And he did. We arrived at the venue in ample time for Brian to relax before hand, playing some basketball with some of the roadies, goofing off in his usual manner, the way I remembered him from our growing up years. I would have played too, but I was hardly dressed for a game of basketball. So I was content to sit by and watch him, loving the way he moved, the excitement he demonstrated every time he scored.

But that was nothing compared to the way he moved on stage. I felt so proud of him, watching him perform that night. He gave everything that he did his all, and to say I was impressed was an understatement. I didn't really watch the others, my eyes fixed solely on Brian, a smile on my face the whole night. He saw me in the crowd and waved many times, leading girls around us to wonder what was going on. I had no idea he could dance so well. I always knew he sang but the dancing had definitely improved. My heart swelled watching him and after the show was over I raced backstage to find him.

I was no sooner through the tunnel and I was pulled in another direction, straight into Brian's waiting arms with a thump. "What did you think?" he asked me.

"Oh Brian, that was unbelievable. You are amazing, I had no idea." The smile on his face said it all. "I was so proud of you up there."

He didn't answer, just pulled me to him for a kiss. He was hot and sweaty, adding to his sexiness and I couldn't resist him.

"Come on you two, break it up." Nick's voice broke into the sensual fog I was in. "Keep it for later. We have to get out of here." Nick grabbed Brian's arm and pulled him toward the backstage exit, Brian dragging me along with him.

Before I knew what was going on, we were all safely on a bus heading out of the arena. The Boys all showered on the bus, then got themselves ready for the New Years party we were going to. It was a private function somewhere out of town and by the time we got there it was nearly 11-30pm. We only had 30 minutes of 1997 left.

I looked around to see if I could see Jac and Kerry. Jac was exactly where I imagined she would be, held in Kevin's arms while they slow danced on the dance floor. I scanned the room for Kerry. It took me a while, but I saw her with AJ, in a corner booth. I blinked and took a double take. That was not the quiet shy Kerry I knew.

"I think Kerry is really taken with your buddy AJ." I said to Brian. He looked in the direction I was indicating.

"Woah. Sure does. What is he trying to do to her?"

"I don't think I want to know." I laughed. "Lets dance Brian."

He turned his attention to me and agreed, taking me in his arms to dance. It was the same slow number Jac and Kevin were dancing too, but it soon livened up and we were bumping and grinding to the music, laughing and having a great time, reminding me of what we were like when we were younger. I was having the best time.

Midnight came and Brian kissed me long and hard, wishing me a Happy new Year, promising me a year of everything I ever wanted ahead of us. I hoped and prayed he was right. Kevin came up and wrapped me in a hug and Brian hugged Jac. Kerry and AJ joined us, followed by Howie and Nick. Before we knew it it was one big group hug going on. What had begun as a year of despair for me, was ending on the highest note I could imagine.

We danced on in to the wee small hours of the night, before we all boarded the bus again and headed back to the hotel. I was stunned to see fans still outside waiting for the Boys return. Brian told me that sort of thing happens all the time.

Rather than lead me to my room, Brian held my hand tight, taking me to his room for the rest of the night. I knew if his management knew about this, they would disapprove, but I felt a rebellion in Brian, and if he wanted me there, I would be there. I wanted to be there.

Sharing a room was something Brian and I had done many times before in the past. I knew it was slightly different now, but for me, tonight, being so tired, it would be no different than all those other times. He lent me one of his larger t-shirts and I changed in to it, climbing straight in to bed. By the time he climbed in behind me I was almost asleep. I heard him whisper "Happy New Year Beautiful, I love you." And snuggled back into his arms.

It was late in the morning before I woke up, and I was alone in the bed. I frowned and stretched, suddenly remembering where I was. I looked around. There was no sign of Brian. I wondered where he was, and figured he had some sort of interview to maybe go to. How did one get used to that I had no idea. To be so popular that everyone wanted a piece of you. And to know he was mine, that made me smile.

I rang through to our room and asked Kerry, who answered the phone, to bring me some of my clothes. I wasn't going to go out in Brian's T-shirt or my dress from last night. She took great delight in teasing me, but soon brought over my clothes. She waited for me while I showered and then we went back to our room.

We decided we would do a little sight seeing while the Boys were busy. We were told they would be a couple of hours still, and we still had anonymity while we were without anyone related to the Boys, so we walked out freely. There weren't many fans at this stage. They were probably all at the interview they were doing.

The three of us shopped for a while before stopping at a coffee shop for a break. I could tell there was something on Kerry's mind, so it was a good opportunity to ask her.

"Kerry, what's up? You don't seem your normal self today." I asked her, hoping she would open up to us.

She shrugged, weighing up whether she should say anything or not. After a few moments she started. "It's AJ. I really like him."

"Yeah, and?" Jac asked. She would pull no punches. She never had before, there was no reason she should now. Kerry had gotten used to Jac pretty quickly when she had first moved in with us. She had to.

"Well, he isn't my usual type of guy is he? You really think my family will accept someone like him?" she said sadly.

"Kez, listen to your heart. How do you feel when you are with AJ?" I asked her quietly. I wanted her to think about this.

"Ahh, with AJ I feel alive. He makes me laugh, my heart skips a beat when he looks at me, I want to spend all my time with him."

"So, what are you worried about then?" Jac kept at her. We both knew what the problem was. Her family. They would not approve of AJ.

"Oh you guys know. Dad would have a fit. Mom, she would probably faint. And my sisters. Holy smoke, they would be reading me the riot act for months. But damn it, I want to be with him."

"So be with him Kerry. It's your life, not theirs," Jac spat out. "How does AJ feel? Has he said?"

"He wants to meet them. He wants a chance to prove who he really is."

Jac whistled through her teeth. "Wow, he sounds serious Kez."

"Yeah, he talks future and us being together."

"Geez, he doesn't waste any time."

Kerry was shaking her head. "I know, and it's scary. I've only known him a month. I can't make any decisions on that short space of time."

I spoke up now. "Kerry, listen to your heart. I speak from experience here. Take the one you love and hold on to them. If he is the one you want then don't let him get away. It's not worth the heart ache."

Kerry looked at me. "You're right. Seeing what you have been through proves to me that it isn't worth the heart ache. You have to be with the one you love."

I put my hand on her arm. "Is it love Kerry?"

"I don't know. I think it is. But I have to be sure."

I nodded. I knew what she was getting at. I mean, I knew I loved Brian, but I still had to be sure. Had to be sure, with this lifestyle, that love would endure, that it would get us through the craziness. But I also believed in what I had just told Kerry. You have to be with the one you love.

That turned out to be a little harder than it was to say over the next few months. After our 4 days in Canada with the Boys, we returned home. It was hard to say goodbye, for all 6 of us. Kerry and Jac were finding it harder to say good bye every time, but for me it went without saying. I had had a lifetime of being away from Brian, I didn't want to do it anymore. But there was no way out.

We all went along to see the Boys perform when they came to Louisville. Just seeing Brian, and holding him in my arms again, kissing him, melted away the time we were apart again. But once they left there, I didn't know when I would manage to see him next. They were in Europe, so it wasn't a short trip to visit him. His many phone calls and endless gifts he sent helped me this time. He was going out of his way to prove he was not going to forget me this time.

Early March Brian made one of his usual phone calls, but this time he had a surprise. "Sue. I can't stand being apart from you." He said quietly into the phone.

"I don't like it either Brian. When are you coming home again?"

"It's still a while, but what do you say about coming here?"

"When Brian? I don't know if I can get away."

"End of March. We have a special performance then, I would love for you to see it. Then maybe see a few of the European concerts."

"End of the month I could probably do. Oh Brian, I would love to see you again." I was getting excited just at the thought of being with Brian again.

"And hold you in my arms again," he added. I sighed deeply at the thought. I could almost feel his arms around me, his lips on mine. I put my fingers to my lips as they tingled with longing. "Anyway Baby, AJ and Kev asked me to see if Kerry and Jac wanted to come too."

"I can ask them." I said. And later I did. Both were keen on the idea, which was no surprise, and after a bit of organising, they told me they could make the trip.

Chapter 21
Index

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