MY PROFILE






When I was a child in Colombia, I grew up very poor. My mother couldn’t afford to send me to school, and pretty soon I fell into trouble. I eventually became a street punk–trashing windows, stealing cars, things like that.

And then I met Pablo Escobar–the biggest drug lord in all of Colombia. Everyone I talked to thought that he was an evil guy, but I found him to be quite the opposite. He took me under his wing, and showed me that there was more to life than petty street crime. He taught me everything that there was to know about the business.

Then came the day that Don Pablo was shot. I asked a friend about it, and he told me that it was those crazy Americans who were behind his murder. I could not believe it. Don Pablo was like a father to me, and now he was gone.

I took over the cartel, aiming to fulfill Don Pablo’s dream of a better Colombia. However, my efforts to improve the quality of life in my country have been undermined by the constant meddling of the United States. They see me as a “problem”, even though I’m just a businessman, trying to make a living.

With this drug war, the United States has taken money away from Colombia. Jobs that Pablo created because of the drug boom have now become scarce, and over half of the country lives below the poverty line.

Still, the demand for drugs has not subsided. I feel that I have enough resources to continue producing. However, I constantly live in fear that the United States will one day come into my country and ruin my business for good.

I push for an open border policy, having unrestricted flows of drugs to and from the United States, and for drugs to be legalized. I firmly believe that the drug trade is essential to the economic survival of Colombia. Colombia will prosper, and Don Pablo will be smiling in his grave.

Now, if you really believe any of this stuff, you are truly pathetic. If you want to know about the real me, go to my real bio page .


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