News

It was revealed today that a doctor working in a practice in Swindon has no formal medical qualifgicatiohs whatsoever. It has emerged that he was solely relying on 'The Junior Encyclopedia Of The Body' for all his diagnoses, this resulted in some rather unorthodox results.
For example a woman who came to him with an ingrowing toenail was told that the only treatment for this 'unique' problem was amputation of both of her legs. Another of his patients who was an insomniac was told that the best thing tto do was .......

Police have revealed this week that a theif is terrorising student accomodation in South London. The theif whos idendity is not yet known, is reported to only steal items of ladies underwaer including socks and knickers. The authorities refused to confirm if the garments were soiled proir to their dissapoearance although later sources close to the police said that they had no evidence that the clothes had been laundered. It is still unclear as to how the theif gained access to the various houses but it is believed that he waits until the occupants have left and breaks in under the cover of darkness. Police stated that they have no evidence to suggest that the criminal then dresses up in these clothes and performs some sort of ritualistic act with them, but when pressed on this point they also said that they could not rule
it out. In a related incident police raided the home of a man selling used womens underwear over the internet on what was described as a 'specialist' website. During the raid the police discovered a secret room in the house containing a
bank of monitors each apparently showing live pictures from as many as 20 different bedrooms and showewring facilities, as yet the location of these cameras is unknown, but it was repoted that Police are spending hundreds of
man-hours examining the evidence thoroughly.