Hyouhyou Kodori
Chapter Three
by
Ina-chan
Finished: October 27, 2002
Revised: December 8, 2002
History: Won "Best Drama Fic" for the 2002 FRUITY
GROUP Fanfiction Contest
What do you do, pray tell?
When it goes too far, this spell
How do you put together
Broken pieces of a platter
That fell and clattered
On the ground it shattered
As we danced and danced and danced
~~*@*~~
The full moon was still shining brightly, its light
contrasting against the luminous glow of the numbers on my
digital wristwatch.
17:45
.
Damn!
My lungs are ready to explode as it is as I forced an
extra burst of energy to my legs, spurring them to move
faster… well as fast as my wooden sandals would allow me.
I would have breathed a sigh of relief as the path
leading to his house came to view, if I could. I started to feel
hopeful since I did not see a familiar figure sitting patiently
by the open engawa. If he’s not waiting, then its possible
that he’s not ready yet. Please let him be not ready yet…
Please let him be not ready yet… The moment the elevated
flooring was on reach, I leaned on it and took the opportunity
to catch my breath.
A
shadow fell over me, as a slender figure stepped out of the open
sliding doors, blocking the indoor lights.
Damn!
Damn!
I
slowly looked up, only to find his expressionless face meeting
my sheepish grin. Without another word he held out a cool glass
of water for me then proceeded to sit down on the edge of the
elevated wooden surface to silently slip on his own sandals over
his socked feet.
I gulped down the liquid to moisten my parched throat
before attempting with my apologies. /Sorry,
sorry… I had a small errand to run before I came home from
school. And of course, you can’t rush a girl getting ready,
right?/
My light chatter was only met by his unnerving silence.
As soon as he finished with his footwear, he stood up and
started to walk down the path to the direction where the others
were. Now I know that he’s really angry. I set down my glass
on the engawa before hastily running after him.
/Slow down, it’s
hard to keep up with you with these sandals!/ I
called out as I grabbed his arm and gently tugged at it to slow
down. At fifteen, Yun-chan had finally gotten a sudden growth
spurt. He was only several centimetres taller than me now, but
for some strange reason… he seemed to have gained more on the
legs, as his strides seemed to had become longer, further, and
harder to keep up… specially when he’s briskly walking with
silent fury.
/Mou!
Yun-chan! I know that I’m an hour and forty-five minutes late.
I said I was sorry already! And its not like everyone will start
the fireworks without us./
To my relief, he slowed down a little bit. /Why
were you late?/
He
stated the question in that quiet and unemotional almost whisper
that always sent chills down my spine. I really hate it when
Yun-chan is seriously mad like this. It almost seems as if
he’s a completely different person. When he’s seriously
angry, it’s almost as if he transforms into Akito-san himself.
Of course, he’s never cruel… but hearing the same voice…
seeing the same expression… the same eyes… it’s still
pretty unnerving. Though frankly, I’m not even sure what
he’s so angry about.
/I
told you already, I had to run an important errand after
school./
/For that long?/
/Well,
I didn’t realize that the detour will take me that long to
travel back./
/What
kind of errand was it?/
/Well,
unlike some people I know who are smart enough so that they
don’t need cram school to help pass the high school entrance
examinations, there are regular persons in the world who needs
an extra boost./
/Cram
school…/
/Haaa… it seemed like yesterday I was struggling with
my own high school entrance examinations… then I have to go
through it all over again next year for the college entrance
examinations! It’s just not fair! It’s difficult to see Kyou-kun
as it is already!/
He suddenly stopped walking, causing me crash onto him.
/Yun-chan, wha---/
/You were late because you went to see him?/
/Well, it is the first day of cram school. I though I
would just drop by to give him some moral support…/ I let out
a long and depressed sigh, /Aaaaah, my poor Kyou-kun. Sou, sou…
I understand his pain. Missing out with the fun of spending time
with us because of it. But I’m glad he’s enthusiastic about
his future! He wanted to go to cram school today so badly that
he…/
I heard him let out a long shaky breath before starting
to walk away in that same brisk manner, leaving me behind to
babble at thin air.
/Yun-chan?/
I
called out after him as I struggled to keep up with him once
again. He completely ignored me and continued on. This time, he
made no indication of slowing down. Indescribable ire
immediately started to bubble from within me as realization
finally hit me.
/Mou!/
Sometimes,
that damn mouse can be so damn stubborn an annoying! I kicked
off my sandals and ran after him ready to give him a good smack
to knock some sense into that thick, selfish head of his. I
managed to grab his sleeve to force him to stop and face me. He
kept his eyes hidden under his bangs, refusing to meet my eyes.
I tightened my hold grasp on his sleeves, trying to control my
fists from flying wildly. Why this little… spoiled… BRAT!
/YOU’RE UPSET BECAUSE OF THAT!?
WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU’RE SO SELFISH!!! YOU DON’T HAVE
THE RIGHT TO DICTATE OR MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY WITH WHO I SPEND MY
TIME WITH!!!/
/Then at least don’t
talk about him when you’re supposed to be spending time with
me.
/
was his simple, calm and quiet reply.
Taken
aback by his unexpected response, I immediately let go and took
an involuntary step backwards. Memories of his drug-induced
confession a little two New Years ago came flooding back into my
mind. He never said anything more about it since then, so I
always assumed that it was one of those spur of the moment
incidents.
Iie…
It
was actually more because I refused to acknowledge it… and
confront him about it. And knowing Yun-chan, he’s always been
timid with facing serious kinds of confrontations… so would
always find a way to avoid or diffuse them, so he wouldn’t
have to go through it. It’s like some kind of instinctive
self-preservation mechanism instilled within him.
Suddenly, it’s become clear why he let this tiff with
Kyou-kun has dragged on for so long. A pang of guilt shot
through me at the realization that I was partly to blame for
it…
That
moment of remorse was probably the reason why I didn’t notice
the sudden irregular change in pattern in his breathing right
away. My eyes widened as I saw him take that familiar posture in
his attempt to compensate for his tightening airways.
/Yun-chan…/
I began worriedly as I reached out for him. Shock and
anger coursed through me again as I was forced to step back
again, feeling the sharp sting on my hand as he slapped me away.
He continued to keep his head turned away, refusing to look at
me. I could only stare at him, speechless.
Save
for the times he hit Kyou-kun back in self-defense, Yun-chan has
NEVER raised his hand at anyone. Even so, this was still so
unfair. Why is he being so selfish? Fighting against the tears
of frustration pooling in my eyes, I made one more attempt to
get close to him.
/WHAT
IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!! STOP THIS NONSENSE AND LET ME HELP YOU!!!/
He straightened up in one quick motion. As if the very air
around him reacted violently to his action, I felt myself being
pushed away by some invisible force. I can only watch him
silently, still frozen, as if under some strange spell.
Under the same full moon, similar to the one when he
whispered his honest and childlike words of love, he stood and
looked at me. His lips stretching into an angry thin line… his
hair reacting to the sudden gust of wind created by the sudden
movement of his sleeves… his gentle grey eyes, hardening and
narrowing into the identical shape of that other person we
feared. His voice was soft and almost silent, but it rang
clear… as if he was saying it directly into my mind.
/Thank you for your assistance./
Under
the same full moon, I felt for the first and last time, a small
taste of the sting of his hate.
“Kagura? Are you okay in there?” Yun-chan’s voice
and knocking brought me out of my reverie
“Yes!” I called out to him through the washroom door,
as I wrapped a towel tightly around me, “Where do I hang my
clothes to dry?”
“Tooru normally hangs them by the balcony, but it
started to pour again. We can probably hang it over the heater
or something,” His voice started to fade slightly as I heard
his steps walking away from the door, “Did you find Tooru’s
clothes?”
“Y-yes,” I replied a little hesitantly, “but they
kind of… don’t fit…”
“Eh? Indulging too much on those cookies during coffee
break?”
I felt my left eyebrow twitch involuntarily, his light
banter uncomfortably hitting a little too close to home. I
slammed the door open in annoyance, hands in hips, ready to put
him in his place, “Well, its not my fault that God did not
grant all women with the same amount of assets!”
“Hai, hai,” He replied patiently, as if talking to a
child, while playfully draping neatly folded pieces of dry
clothing on top of my head. He gently turned me around, pushed
me back into the small washroom and closed the door behind me,
“Just get dressed. If the neighbours see you unabashedly
parading your assets from my window, they might get the wrong
idea.”
“Mou!” I muttered in annoyance, more the fact that my
brain couldn’t find anything fast enough to counter his word.
The clothes he gave me were one of those long-sleeved
pristine white polo shirts that he had taken the habit of
wearing to sleep since he was a teen-ager, and a pair of running
shorts. I stuck out my tongue in disgust as I caught sight of
myself from the washroom sink mirror, highlighted by the dimmer
than usual light emitting from the florescent light on the
ceiling. The shirt hung over my legs, nearly reaching my knees.
I had to roll the sleeves almost up to my elbows to keep it from
falling over my hands. I don’t understand why my co-workers
always made comments about how their boyfriends think it’s
sexy when they wear their boyfriend’s shirts to bed. No matter
how I see it, it made me look like I’m an unflattering,
shapeless, sack of potatoes! It’s almost embarrassing for
Yun-chan to see me in this…
Heh?
Since when did I care how Yun-chan saw me?
“Kagura? Are you done? Don’t tell me that my clothes
don’t fit you either…”
WHY THAT LITTLE… He was going to PAY for that…
I sauntered huffily out of the door, ready to give him
hell when his cell phone rang at the exact moment I opened my
mouth.
He
gave the phone’s luminous screen a quick glance before
motioning me to wait with an apologetic look, “Sorry Kagura, I
have to take this call.” Almost instantly, Yun-chan demeanour
switched into that professional air that Ha-niichan always
carried.
“Yes,
Takada-san? Eh? The system crashed from the power surge? Do you
need me to come over… No? Yes… I think I still have the
back-up raw data from group FB-37,” He craned his neck to hold
the phone in position as he took his place behind the low table
where his laptop rested. He
turned the computer on, slipped on his reading glasses, and
inserted a zip disc he picked up from the neat pile on the table
with quick, precise, and expert movements. He waited a few
moments, his glasses reflecting the LCD screen in front of him,
“Yes… I have it here. I can bring it to the lab first thing
tomorrow morning if you need it. No, it’s no trouble. Yes.
I’ll be there at around nine.”
Seeing
yet another side of him that I’m not familiar with, the
earlier awful feeling of him moving forward and leaving me
behind nagged at me again.
“I’m
sorry,” I said to him apologetically as I took a seat beside
him
“For
what?” He asked absent-mindedly, still focused on the work in
front of him
“For
all that’s been happening lately. First the storm, then me,
and then your work… It’s Christmas tomorrow, and I know how
much you would have preferred to be with Tooru-kun than have to
deal with all of this.”
“Hmm…
well, it can’t be helped. I’m still seeing her tomorrow
anyway after I drop off the disc at the University.”
The
light drizzle quickly turned into a freak thunderstorm.
Lightning struck one of the city’s power generators, causing a
power surge that pretty much immobilized everything. The dim
lighting in Yun-chan’s apartment was already indication that
its tenants were using the building’s emergency generators to
the maximum. Outside, the trains have been running in below
minimum capacity, making it almost impossible to find an
available cab. It just started raining heavily making driving
difficult so Yun-chan called the main house to let them know
that I was spending the night with him. Tooru-kun, stranded from
where she was, already found refuge in Hanajima-san’s house,
which was much closer compared to Yun-chan’s apartment. He was
supposed to pick her up tomorrow morning from Hanajima-san’s
place.
It
was strange. These string of coincidences, that is. It was as if
the goddesses of the fates are weaving all these circumstances
to prevent them from being together.
“Ne,
Yun-chan… I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but… where am
I going to sleep?”
Yun-chan’s
place was slightly bigger than most bachelor apartments in the
city. It had its own toilet and shower, a small balcony, a small
kitchenette, and a common space that serves as the living room,
dining room and bedroom. Though it was probably sufficient
living space for one person, it’s still exactly what he
described it. A cubicle. Even if the low table where we are
seated in front of were to be moved to the side of the room, the
sleeping space for two people would still be... rather…
intimate. I unconsciously brought my arms around my chest as I
felt my heart start to quicken its pace from the thought.
“I have an extra futon in the closet. Do you mind moving
the table so I can lay them out?” He said as he got on his
feet
“S-sure…” I answered uncertainly, a little taken
aback as both feelings of relief and disappointment fought
inside of me. I pushed the table aside then sat to watch him
diligently arrange the beddings he pulled out from the closet
onto the floor. Suddenly, a mischievous thought popped in my
head. After all, I still needed to get revenge for that crack he
made while I was in the washroom, “So… that extra futon...
is it Tooru-kun’s?”
A satisfied smile made its way to my lips as I saw him
almost tumble to the floor, literally turning red to his ears
from embarrassment.
“It’s an EXTRA futon,” he said aloud when he
finally found his voice
“Hmmm… is that so. So if it’s not Tooru-kun’s then
does that mean when she sleeps over, she sleeps in YOURS.”
“What is wrong with you today? Will you please stop
poking at my private life with a stick?” Yun-chan stated
irritably
“I can’t help it! This is difficult for me too. I
mean, knowing that Tooru-kun comes here often. I can’t help
but imagine her all over the place. Tooru-kun by the doorway,
Tooru-kun in the balcony, Tooru- by the portable stove, Tooru-kun
in the futon…” I paused dramatically, watching his reaction
as I leaned on the table behind me and tilted my head up to
strike a ridiculously over-emphasized seductive pose, “…Tooru-kun
on the table…”
He looked at me blankly and blinked before turning away in
mortification, obviously fighting against the image that I
suggested in his head. “You know,” he began in a low and
dangerous tone, “The balcony is only two stories high, but a
two story drop can still be very painful.”
“Hai! Hai!” I replied submissively, seeing that I’ve
reached the limit of my teasing. Though, feeling very smug and
pleased with myself as I crawled and cocooned myself under its
warm covers of the futon while he went about the room to turn
off the lights. Despite of what he says, the faint scent of
Tooru’s favourite shampoo immediately assailed my senses. I
closed my eyes as I braced myself from that awful reflexive wave
of resentment that seemed to smash down on me lately. More often
than I cared to admit.
Yun-chan settled in his own futon beside me with a load
groan, “Why did you have to go too far? Now I’ll be thinking
of her all night. I’ll have a hard time trying to go to
sleep.”
“Are you sure that’s the only HARD problem you
have?” I intoned impishly, not being able to help myself
I immediately found myself raising my arms over my head in
self-defense with a loud squeal as he started pelting me over
and over with his pillow. I managed to sit up and pick up my own
weapon. We engaged in a good-old-fashioned pillow fight until we
both fell back on our futons, exhausted and giggling giddily
like small children.
“Still, this is nice…” I managed to blurt out
between gasps and giggles
“Hmmm?”
“This,” I stated as I leaned on elbow and turned to
face him, “We haven’t had a little sleep over like this
since we were children. It’s too bad that we can’t invite
the others to join us. It almost seemed like yesterday that we
were teasing Momi-chan about his stuffed sleeping companion,
trying to calm Haru-chan down when he accidentally wet his bed,
Kyou-kun with his sulking in the corner, Isuzu with her truth or
dare games, and you still had that big crush on…” I caught
myself too late in mid-sentence. I lay back and closed my eyes,
as I clasped my hands together over my chest, “I’m
sorry…”
“About what?” He asked in that quiet tone of his
“It was entirely inappropriate to drag that out
again,” I stated uncomfortably, “It’s unfair to Tooru-kun,
after all.”
“Don’t be.”
“What?” My eyes shot open at his words.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m not. I never stopped loving
you, Kagura-neechan.”
“Yun-chan…” I sat up to face him, speechless and
shocked beyond belief by his words, “What did you say?”
He was still lying down, but from the poor light, I can
see based from the glint reflecting on the lenses of his glasses
that he was facing me. Slowly, he sat up and gave me small smile
as he repeated his words, “I never stopped loving you,
Kagura-neechan.”
“Yun-chan… what about Tooru-kun?”
He put a finger over my lips with a soft ‘shhhh’,
“It’s alright. The one who’s with me right now is
Kagura-neechan.”
All at once, with his words, I realized that I didn’t
care anymore. Even though this wasn’t the moment that I always
dreamed of, or fantasized… I didn’t care anymore. Even
though this was entirely wrong… I didn’t care anymore. I
just wanted to be loved. Even if it’s not the person I dreamed
of… I just wanted to be loved. There’s nothing wrong with
wanting that, right?
Right?
Soundlessly, I reached out and took the glasses off his
face and set them on the floor beside me. His finger left my
lips to caress my cheek, before leaning closer to claim my lips
in a soft and innocent kiss. His simple act triggered to release
all the pent up frustration that had been building up inside of
me, so that the kiss immediately lost its innocence as I
responded to it with ravenous desire. I worked on the buttons of
my shirt as he continued his assault on my mouth. My fingers
clumsily fumbled over them, so I pulled on the shirt in
frustration until I heard, with great satisfaction, the buttons
roll and clatter on the floor. I ran my hands over his arms and
shoulders, tugging at his own clothing, but he caught my hands
and gently pushed me down. I felt him lace his fingers into
mine, holding them still over my head as he settled into a
comfortable position over me. I closed my eyes and simply moaned
helplessly, enjoying the sensations he caused as he rained my
face… my lips… my throat with gentle butterfly kisses. Then
his lips fell upon and slowly sucked on the sensitive spot on my
neck…
…I couldn’t help but let out a loud gasp as I sat up
with a start. My eyes wandered around the unfamiliar
surroundings, when I realized that I was still in Yun-chan’s
apartment. The room was still dark and was silent, save for the
sound of my laboured breathing. My hands automatically went to
my shirt to find the buttons still on it, unmolested. I ran my
hands over my hair, as my eyes started to adjust in the
darkness. Yun-chan’s glasses glinted in the moonlight as it
sat properly in its open case on top of the low table at the
corner of the room. I instinctively turned towards and reached
out for the futon beside me, only to find it empty and neat…
giving no sign whatsoever that was even used. I lay back in my
futon with a soft thump.
It was just a dream.
All at once, shame started to build up inside of me. What
is wrong with me? It was one thing to remember forgotten
memories of affection from him… but having an erotic dream
about him was an entirely different matter. I couldn’t help
but feel that I’ve betrayed Yun-chan and Tooru-kun…
…and Kyou-kun.
“It was just a dream.” I said aloud in a soft shaky
whisper, trying to convince myself that I did nothing wrong
It didn’t help. The apartment’s small space started
feel like it was getting even smaller. I needed some fresh air.
I struggled out of my futon and made my way to the balcony. It
was only then that I noticed the slightly opened glass sliding
door.
It was a full moon tonight. The storm had apparently
stopped and the skies cleared, allowing the bright moon to show
her face, along with the millions of stars that accompanied her.
I saw his figure standing at the far end of the balcony, his
head leaning to one side, as if admiring the nighttime view.
Noiselessly slid the door fully open and started to step
outside.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Yun-chan’s soft voice
filtered in the air
I froze with a start, completely not expecting that he
would immediately sense me. I opened my mouth to answer…
“No, everything’s fine. I meant to call you early in
the morning, but I wanted to hear your voice now.
No… Do I joke about things like that?” He continued
on before I could utter even a single word.
I quickly took a step back inside and hid on the other
side of the balcony door.
“Well, yes… there’s some trouble at work from the
power surge, but it shouldn’t get in the way, I’ll still be
able pick you up at eleven… It’s no trouble, don’t worry
about it.”
I let out a long sigh. This was stupid! Why the heck am I
hiding like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar? I know
it was rude to walk into a private conversation between him and
Tooru-kun, but there was no need to react like this?
“Kagura? I think she’s fine for the time being. Yeah,
she’s sleeping inside.”
I was about to walk back to bed when I froze upon hearing
him utter my name. I really should have simply walked away, but
for some strange reason, I just can’t get myself to move.
“I know… I’m getting worried too. No, she still
won’t say anything. She’s still covering it up, but I think
she’s getting worse.”
Getting worse? I couldn’t help but frown at that. What
the hell is he talking about?
“I’ll talk to Hatori tomorrow when he comes to pick
her up early in the morning. Yes, I’m staying with her to make
sure she’s okay. I know how it feels… I did some crazy
things to myself back when I was badly depressed like this.”
Stay with me to make sure I’m okay? Depressed? So that’s how it was
after all. It really was just a “consolation date”.
“Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
I
silently stepped into the balcony and slowly made my way toward
him, then stopped just inches away from where he was standing. I
couldn’t help but let out a silent sarcastic laugh. He was so
engrossed with his phone conversation with HER that he
couldn’t even sense me breathing on his back.
“I love you too.”
The metaphorical box started to shake violently again.
Whatever was inside was struggling to get inside was winning the
battle. To be quite honest, at this point, I didn’t care
anymore. I didn’t to even make any more effort to try to hold
the lid down.
I felt him freeze in surprise as I suddenly pressed
myself against his back my hands resting lightly on his hips, as
soon as he hung up, “Kagura?
What are you doing?”
“Ne, Yun-chan…” I began as I slowly inched my hands
up on his back, “… would things have been different back
then if…” and slowly around his chest, “…you never met
Tooru-kun…” and tightened it into a firm embrace, “…and
I fell in love with you instead?”
He effortlessly twisted out of my grasp and guided me
inside. All the while, still holding me away at arms-length,
“Kagura, what’s going on? Tell me what’s bothering you.”
And the box…
“Nothing is wrong with me,” I replied as I struggled
against his firm grip
…continued to shake violently…
“The Kagura I know would never do anything to hurt
Tooru!”
…and the lid…
“Yun-chan, please,” I whined pathetically, “Please
don’t mention that name when you’re with me.”
…quavered precariously…
“KAGURA!” He held on my shoulders firmly and
shook me… as if trying to shake me back into my senses, “TOORU
IS MY WIFE!”
…and fell.
I buried my hands into my hair, fell on my knees, and let
out a loud pained scream. Why? Why!? WHY!!!? I just wanted to be
happy. I just wanted to be loved. Why can’t I have any of
that? From the corner of my, I could see him standing there,
watching me helplessly, totally unsure of what to do.
Yuki
used to be just like me, hopeful and chasing a dream to attain
that impossible happiness. But Yuki was happy now. Yuki had
moved forward and left me behind. Yuki found his happiness with
her and left me behind. Why did it happen? Why did it happen
like this? What is this that I’m feeling? Why is it that all I
could feel was this brimming, gushing stream of hate and
loathing? I can’t stand seeing that happy face of his. He
doesn’t understand. He can’t understand. He won’t
understand until that happiness is taken away from him. I’ll
make him understand. I’ll make him feel this hurt of being
left behind. I just wanted someone to hurt the same way I do.
“Did you really believe that the two of you are going to
work? What a joke.” I began scathingly with a vicious laugh. I
looked up and shot him a venomous look as I slowly got on my
feet, “And you know exactly the reason why this marriage is
doomed from the start, don’t you?”
He didn’t reply, he simply stood there and stared at me.
“It’s the reason why you squirm and writhe in
embarrassment every time I bring it up… the reason why she
admitted that you haven’t made love yet after all this time…
it’s because you can’t. You can’t do it! You can’t hold
her in your arms, can you? It’s impossible for you to hold her
in your arms so you can FUCK HER!”
He
still didn’t say anything, or do anything. But I could see the
silent hurt in his eyes when I spat out those words to him.
Something in the back of my mind begged me to stop. Seeing this
now, I wanted to stop… but I couldn’t. It was like trying to
stop a bullet train with your bare hands.
“Tell
me Yuki… tell me what is so great about her?” I continued
icily as I started to walk toward him again, “Tell me why is
it, despite knowing what you know… why do you still love her
so much. I need to understand why her? Why her and not me?
I’ve known him longer. I’ve loved him longer than her…
but… tell me why did he still choose her? Why did YOU still
choose her knowing that you can’t hold her like this?” He
didn’t resist when I took his limp arms and wrapped them
around me, “Knowing that she can never hold you like this,”
I ran my own hands up on his arms and around his shoulders,
“Knowing that she can never touch you like this,” I leaned
up close to him, standing on my toes. I paused, feeling his
breath mingle with mine before moving forward to claim his lips.
Without
warning, he turned his face away and held me so tight that I
could barely breathe. I could only let him hold me in his warmth
and feel his breath whisper in my ear, “Kagura… I’m glad
that you were able to finally say it out loud… But you’re
saying this to the wrong person.”
With
that, he suddenly let go and walked away from me. I watched him
numbly as he pulled out his cell phone and started dialling.
“Hatori?”
He finally spoke, in a very calm voice, after a few silent
moments, “Yes, I know what time it is. I was just wondering if
it’s okay with you to pick up Kagura a little earlier…
Now… would be a good time… No, nothing happened… No… I
just think it’s not a good idea for the two of us to be in the
same room right now… No… No… I don’t know… Are you
coming or what? I’ll see you then.”
He
took a deep sigh before turning back to me. His voice was calm,
quiet, and emotionless… and he refused to meet my eyes,
“Hatori’s coming to take you home in a few minutes. Please
don’t leave before he gets here.” With that, he made his way
into the washroom, and closed the door behind him, the lock
echoing with a loud click.
Only
then I found the strength to uproot myself from where I was
standing to chase him. I pressed myself against the door and
heard the undeniable sound of silent sobbing. My own tears
started to flood my eyes, as the pain in my chest that radiated
up in my throat forced me to fall on my knees.
Oh
God, what have I done?
What
have I done?
“Yun-chan…”
I called out in a hoarse whisper, “I’m sorry… I didn’t
mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.”
But it no matter how much I apologize, I already knew
that it didn’t matter. I let the lid off from that
metaphorical box, and the monsters that were struggling to get
out were set free. Now, I can only watch helplessly, as they
destroyed everything and everyone I love and hold dear…
Return to Chapter
Two
Continued on Chapter
Four
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