Hyouhyou Kodori
Epilogue
by
Ina-chan
Finished: November 22, 2002
Revised: December 8, 2002
History: Won "Best Drama Fic" for the 2002 FRUITY
GROUP Fanfiction Contest
The beat slows down to a halt
‘Till finally it ceases
We take a bow and start to depart
Despite our hearts’ true wishes
Still it’s just a matter of whim
For another music to begin
And we’ll dance a brand new dance
~~*@*~~
It was the perfect day. That day in June, when spring was
giving its final bow before making way for summer’s grand
entrance. The blue sky was clear, the cheerful sun gave its
blessing with a pleasant smile, the cool breeze stirred
playfully, causing the late spring flowers of the temple gardens
to gracefully dance along with the silent song of nature.
Tooru-kun
once mentioned that her mother dreamt of having traditional
Shinto wedding ceremony on a day like this. Unfortunately, the
circumstances of her parents’ romance didn’t allow for such
a fantasy to become a reality. So it was only natural for a
child to secretly aspire for her mother’s unfulfilled dream as
her own.
At
first, the circumstances of Tooru-kun’s own romance seemed to
parallel that of her mother’s… Nevertheless, Tooru-kun’s
two friends were determined to fulfill that dream of hers at all
costs… and her loving husband is just as determined to comply.
To think that even right until the last moment, the
threat of waking from that dream was a harsh reality...
My
heart almost stopped at the sight of Akito-san walking on the
temple path with Kureno-san and Ha-niichan at tow. I’ll never
forget the uneasy feeling I felt those moments when we all stood
and waited outside while Akito-san talked with Yun-chan. Not
even Ha-niichan’s reassuring glance gave any twinge of
comfort.
I
stood beside Momi-chan, who was leaning on the wall opposite the
door to the room with a cheerful smile, despite the worry in his
eyes. Haru-chan
stood on the opposite side of him, arms crossed with an
impassive expression on his face.
We were probably hoping that Momi-chan’s cheer would
rub off on us. Though what we felt would probably be nothing
compared to what Aya-chan was feeling.
Aya-chan
stood waiting, purposely standing away from us, emitting a
familiar ‘don’t come near me’ aura that we would normally
sense around Yun-chan. It was the first time I saw Aya-chan stay
perfectly still in one spot, waiting with a dead serious
expression on his face. Even Shi-chan couldn’t get close to
him. In the end, Shi-chan disappeared to somewhere.
When
Akito-san and his entourage left without incident, my own sigh
of relief must have been the loudest.
I was ashamed to admit that… despite our collective
decision to disregard whatever Akito-san orders regarding the
Jyuunishi circle members’ attendance to this ceremony…
despite the fact that the order to maintain our absence was
never given… I still bowed my head in fear, afraid to meet the
reprimanding eyes of the Master of the Souma Family.
As
soon as Akito-san was safely out of sight, we rushed into the
waiting room to find Yun-chan still seated on the floor with his
head bowed and his eyes hidden. Aya-chan was already inside,
sitting beside his brother. We all stood in the room silently,
waiting for one of us to ask that question that was obviously in
all our minds, which remained sealed by our lips for fear of
hearing the answer.
I
swallowed the painful lump in my throat and gathered my courage
to move my lips.
“What
did he say?” Momi-chan’s voice filtered through the room
before I can get my own voice to obey my commands
“He
said,” Yun-chan began in his quiet voice, “Do whatever you
want, but don’t come crawling back to me when you regret it in
the end.”
I
clenched my fists upon hearing that vague reply. Akito-san may
have acknowledged Yun-chan and Tooru-kun’s marriage, but it
was obvious that he still hasn’t accepted it.
“Does
that mean, Yuki won’t be dancing with me next year,”
Haru-chan’s monotone verbalized exactly what was in my
thoughts
“No,
that’s not it,” Aya-chan’s voice boomed clearly, causing
all of us to jump back in surprise, “That was just Akito’s
way of admitting defeat,” His voice toned down as he reached
out to give his younger brother a reassuring hand on the
shoulder, “Don’t worry Yuki, no matter what Akito decides
after this, everything will turn out alright.”
Yun-chan
simply sat there and gave us a small sad smile.
Despite
that one blemish, it was still a perfect day in June.
Under the clear blue sky and the sun’s joyous blessing,
close friends and members of the Souma and Honda family gathered
together to witness and take part in the joining of their
children in a quiet and solemn Shinto ceremony.
“…by
now, Tooru-kun should know the little quirks that come along
with Yuki-kun’s hypersomnia, if there is anything you want to
ask Yuki-kun of anything, THAT would be the perfect time to ask
him. He’s sure to say ‘yes’ to anything,” Shi-chan
teased
“Just
make sure you don’t imitate Kyou’s style in approaching him,
of Yuki will just throw or pin you on the ground,” Haru-chan
warned helpfully
“Sou,
sou…” Aya-chan agreed as he nodded solemnly with his arms
folded in front of him, “But given the circumstances, that
could actually be a good thing,” he suddenly added impishly as
he turned to Tooru to give her a mischievous wink
“Eh?”
Tooru-kun cried out in surprise as a telltale embarrassed flush
started to cover her face
“NIISAN!”
Yun-chan’s indignant reprimand rose above the hearty laughter
within our group in the reception hall, as an identical flush
appeared on his face
It
would be redundant to say that the western-style wedding
reception that Aya-chan organized was anything but solemn.
Yun-chan would probably prefer to die than admit it aloud, but
Aya-chan did a wonderful job. Aya-chan arranged everything from
the flowers, right to even every detail of Tooru-kun’s
pristine silk wedding kimono for the ceremony and the exquisite
western-style gown for the wedding reception… all of it in
secret, for obvious reasons. In fact, Yun-chan and Tooru-kun
didn’t even know about the surprise reception until only two
days before their originally planned simple ceremony.
With
some help with his co-conspirators, namely Shi-chan, Momi-chan
and Tooru-kun’s friends, and myself, we managed to get almost
everyone to come. Tooru-kun’s friends were able to get
Tooru-kun’s family. Her grandfather seemed like a nice old
man, though he seemed a little confused. For some strange
reason, he kept on calling Tooru-kun and Yun-chan, ‘
Kyoko-san and Katsuya’.
As
for our side, with the exception of Kureno-san, we managed to
get all the Jyuunishi to come. Ha-niisan missed the ceremony,
but he arrived to the reception. Just in time to save Aya-chan
from getting strangled when he started to get carried away with
his public speech for the groom about the different techniques
on how to keep a woman ‘happy’. For some miracle, Isuzu
allowed Haru-chan drag her to come without much resistance. Even
Kyou-kun showed his face in both the ceremony and the early part
of the reception, before practicing a new technique he probably
mastered in his recent training… the uncanny ability to
completely disappear out of thin air.
Amidst
the gaiety of the occasion, somehow, I still couldn’t get
myself to join in with the festivities. It was because of a lot
of things. Kyou-kun… the
fatigue from the preparations… the anxiety caused by
Akito-san’s visit... It would also be a big lie to say that I
didn’t feel a tiny hint of envy. It was simply too suffocating
to stay in that room full of happy people. So I made my way
through one of the hall’s sliding glass doors and to escape to
the adjoining patio. I leaned on the railing and took in the
cool late spring breeze as it blew against my face and it helped
clear away the heaviness in my head.
“Are
you okay?”
I
turned around, startled. Yun-chan was standing by the door, he
obviously followed me upon seeing my retreat. I gave him a weak
smile before nodded, “Yeah… It was getting a little too wild
in there.”
He
stepped forward and leaned on the railing beside me, “Are you
sure that’s all that’s really bothering you?”
“Well…
There’s Akito-san’s visit too…” I replied hastily, “He
didn’t really say anything today, but he could still… I’m
sure you’re worrying about it as well.”
He slowly shook his head, “I’m not worried about
that.”
There was no trace of defeat or fear reflected in his
eyes. It was just a simple undeniable calm sea of grey. It was
definitely a far cry from the Yun-chan of the past who trembled
at the sound of Akito-san’s name. To the contrary, the twinges
of anxiety I sensed from him now were not because of fears for
own being.
“Stupid!
You don’t have to worry about anything,” I stated huffily as
I crossed my arms over my chest. This time, it was Yun-chan’s
turn to put on a surprised expression. I met his gaze and give
him a comforting grin, “No matter what Akito-san tells us or
orders us to do, you don’t have to worry about it at all.”
With
that, Yun-chan finally gave me a smile.
“Ah,
I almost forgot!” I exclaimed as I fumbled with the folds of
my dress and held out the small perfectly preserved
leather-bound booklet to him, “I thought this would be the
perfect time to return this to you.”
Yun-chan
blinked at the item, before recognition hit him. He quickly
turned his astounded eyes to me as he cautiously took the book
from my hands, “You… kept this?”
“Of
course!” I replied with a huge grin, “After all, you still
need to give that to the woman you will love forever.”
He continued to stare at the small book in his hands in
shocked disbelief, so I cleared my throat and I motioned him to
open the journal, “I… uh… kinda scribbled something at the
end. Think of that as my wedding present to you.”
Yun-chan
raised an eyebrow and opened the book to read the bottom of the
page that held my hasty scribble and read it aloud, “After
reading this poem, let me suggest page 113.” He gave me a
quizzical look, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It
will make more sense later… but you have to make sure that
Tooru-kun opens my wedding present for her first,” I stated
cryptically, trying to maintain a serious expression
Yun-chan
closed his eyes and rubbed his right temple, “I certainly hope
this is not a conspiracy between you and Niisan…”
“Heeeeh!?
How can you suspect your Neechan of that?” I retorted in mock
injury, “I can assure you, Aya-chan and I are working
independently!”
Yun-chan
opened his eyes to give me a look of disbelief before letting
out a jovial laugh. Without warning, I suddenly found myself
engulfed in Yun-chan’s arms in a tight bear hug, “Thank you
for putting up with me… back then… and for all these
years…”
Tears
threatened to spill from my eyes as I returned his hug. We
stayed like that for a long time before I playfully pushed him
away when the fluid threatening to spill down my face became too
unbearable to hold back. I quickly motioned inside, where Tooru-kun
was currently dancing with Shi-chan. “Hey! You better go back.
Shi-chan was really upset that you stole his housekeeper… he
could be plotting to steal her back from you right this
moment.”
Yun-chan
let out another laugh at that, though he continued to hesitate
from leaving me alone, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I
promise, that incident when I spent the night in your apartment
will never happen again,” I playfully raised my left hand and
placed my right hand over my heart before giving him a more
serious look
He
reached out to loop an errant strand of hair behind my ear
before bending down to give me an affectionate peck on the
cheek, “It’ll be alright,” Yun-chan echoed the reassuring
words said to him earlier, “You’re ten times more stubborn
than me, so I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. Everything
will turn out all right.”
With
that, he retreated back into the hall, leaving me once again
with my thoughts.
“What
the hell was that all about?”
I
jumped back in surprise and followed the sound of that familiar
voice to the branches of a nearby tree, “K…Kyou-kun?”
“What is this about you in Yuki’s apartment?” The
owner of the voice demanded, ignoring my surprise
“So that’s where you’ve been hiding all this
time,” I crossed my arms and frowned in annoyance to meet the
pair of disapproving scarlet eyes glaring down at me, “How
long have you been eavesdropping?”
“It’s not like I did it on purpose,” Kyou-kun
countered hotly as he jumped down from the tree branch and
gracefully landed beside me, “I was here first, you know.”
“Hai, hai…” I simply gave in, not really in the mood
for petty arguments, “So why are you running away from the
party?”
“Why are YOU?” Kyou-kun retorted
I raised an eyebrow at him, “Kyou-kun… are you’re
trying to pick a fight with me.”
“WHAT KIND OF STU---…” He stopped at
mid-sentence and took a deep breath as he ran his fingers
through his hair, “… I… It’s just that you haven’t
been acting like yourself lately.”
“And
what made you come to that conclusion?” I asked innocently,
trying hard not to let a wayward smirk from touching my lips
“You
haven’t been…” He paused, looking uncomfortably flustered,
“… around… much… since New Year.”
With
everything that happened, I simply didn’t have the energy to
actively pursue Kyou-kun like before. “I just wanted to help
out Aya-chan as much as I could.”
“Haru
mentioned that…” Kyou-kun cleared his throat and let out a
nervous cough, “…that you had a… nervous breakdown….”
“Eh?”
I frowned and turned to face him, “EH!?”
He
put up his arms defensively, “I’m just repeating what I
heard! If you showed up and forced yourself in other people’s
business’ like you used to, I would have gotten the right
information sooner.”
Now
THAT was just ridiculous. I crossed my arms again and
turned away from him, “If you really cared to know the truth
that much, you didn’t have to wait for me to come to you.”
I
didn’t have to turn to see the stunned expression on his face
upon hearing my words. The long awkward pause silence was
evidence enough, before his equally awkward stammering that
followed, “W…wha… I… WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA THAT I
CARE!?!?”
“I
see…”
Another
long pause followed before he let out a long defeated sigh as he
stepped forward to stand beside me. He leaned on the patio
railing, looking far ahead, and still refusing to meet my eyes,
“Sorry... That was a lie… I do… care…
And you’re right… I should have to come to you.”
Upon hearing his say that, I finally allowed a small smile
to touch my lips and relished the moment. I leaned on the
railing as well, imitating his position, “I guess it was
somewhat a nervous breakdown… though Yun-chan was the one who
ended up getting hurt more.”
“Yuki?” I could see the frown quickly lining his
forehead from the corner of my eye
“It was that time when I spent the night at his
apartment,” I replied quietly
“THE HELL!?!?” Kyou-kun suddenly exploded as he
grabbed me by the shoulders to force me to look at him, “WHAT
HAPPENED!? DID HE TRY TO DO SOMETHING TO YOU!?!? WHY THAT DAMNED
MOUSE!!! I’LL---”
**WHAP!**
“ITTE! DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT
FOR!?!?”
“Saving you from making a fool of yourself,” I calmly
shook the sting from my palm as Kyou-kun nursed the back of his
head. I let out a long sigh before tuning down to a more serious
tone, “Personally, I’m actually thankful that it
happened.”
“Ha?” He could only give me a bewildered look at that
“It forced me to do a lot of thinking,” I simply
replied.
Yun-chan succeeded because he made a great gamble betting
his happiness by facing his ultimate fear. I, on the other hand,
was too frightened of taking such a gamble. So I took the safe
way and tried to cling and hold on tightly rather than taking a
risk by letting go. So in the end, I only succeeded in
suffocating and driving Kyou-kun away… thereby making my
greatest fear into a mere self-fulfilling prophesy.
I turned to face the party happening on the other side of
the glass door. It’s participants completely oblivious to
what’s happening outside.
I unconsciously clutched my collar as a familiar ache
started to throb in my chest. My eyes wandered, and I saw that
Yun-chan was successful in reclaiming his bride and was now
moving with her on the dance floor. He turned on a step and in a
split second met my eyes.
In
that short moment, it was almost as if we were children again.
It was as if I was staring at his thirteen-year-old self… a
little shy and insecure, but completely full of trust, as he
sent a warm smile of encouragement to the older sister he never
had but always looked up to.
/Ganbatte,
Kagura-neechan! Do your best!/
That’s right. It was also time for me to stop running
away. To reach that ultimate goal that I longed for the longest
time means I had to face and overcome my greatest fear.
“Ne, Kyou-kun…” I began, before my courage faltered,
“I guess I’ve been acting stupid about this from the
start.”
“Ha?”
“All this time, I set myself into narrow-mindedly
chasing one dream,” I closed my eyes and clasped my hands over
my chest, “Because of that… I ended up purposely ignoring
and taking for granted another form of happiness. I always
thought I’d never regret letting that go, as long as I pursued
that one dream… until I saw that happiness being offered to
someone else…”
“What exactly are you babbling about?”
I opened my eyes and turned to face him, “Some people
can’t wait forever, Kyou-kun. I just hope you don’t end up
regretting what you chose to sacrifice in order to chase a
dream.”
His reply was to stare at me silently, with an unreadable
expression on his face before turning away.
I knew that he perfectly understood what I meant… so my
heart sank at his reaction, and all at once, the courage I
managed to gather quickly dissolved into nothingness.
He was going to say ‘no, thank you’…
He was going to refuse…
I knew this was a big gamble to take… I knew it was a
big risk. I prepared myself for the worst. But still… but
still, I don’t think my heart can bear to hear the words from
his mouth… So I choked back the pain in my throat and wiped
the tears that managed to escape down my face as I forced myself
to give him the sweetest smile that I can muster,
“Ah! My favourite song is playing! I think I’ll go
inside and see if Momi-chan needs a dancing partner. I’ll see
you later, Kyou-kun.”
I quickly reached put to open the sliding glass door, when
I suddenly felt a firm grasp around my free wrist, pulling me
back and forcing me to turn around.
“Idiot! How do you expect to catch up to your dream if
you’re giving up halfway in the race?” He muttered in
annoyance, still looking far ahead, refusing to meet my gaze.
His grasp loosened as the tone of his voice softened on the
words that followed next, “I’m sorry… it’s still too
early… for this… but I… I don’t want to regret anything
in the end either… So if it’s all right with that person…
If it isn’t too much to ask… Can I ask that person…”
I could only watch him intently in stunned silence as he
finally turned around to look at me with an intense, almost
pleading expression in his gentle crimson eyes, “Can that
person wait just a little bit longer?”
“Yes,” I managed to whisper against the constriction
in my throat. This time, I didn’t even try to stop the clear
warm liquid from brimming over from my eyes as I held on to his
hand to give it a gentle reassuring squeeze
“Idiot, ” He frowned, “That’s nothing to cry over
about.”
“Yes… yes… yes…” I laughed, saying the words
over and over almost like a mantra.
“Idiot,” He repeated half-heartedly, turning his gaze
away again, looking slightly embarrassed but making no attempt
to unlatch his hand from mine
Together, we looked up at the colourful palette caused by
the sleepy sun on the evening sky.
The party inside has shown no indication of slowing down.
Though it was still too early to see the them in the evening
sky, I’m sure the excited stars and the mysterious pale moon
were getting ready to make own their appearance to create a
perfect late-spring June night. After all, what better way is it
to end the perfect day?
~~*@*~~
You
are the light of my soul
the purity of its brightness
clears my eyes and my mind
from all shadows of doubt
You
are the will of my heart
the song that it beats to
that gives me courage
to continue moving on
You
are the air that I breathe
which fills my lungs
and the sole true reason
why I continue to live
Deprive me of your
light
I shall only lose my way
Mute your song
I shall only loose my will
Cut yourself away
I shall only face my death
In your hands I entrust
my heart, my mind, my soul
[untitled poem by Souma Yuki
(as interpreted by Ina-chan)]
~OWARI~
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Chapter Four
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