Beautiful Shinigami
Prologue 
by Ina-chan
First Posted Online: February 9, 2004
History: Inspired by Bryan Fuller's "DEAD LIKE ME" series

Have you ever wanted something so badly to the point that it seemed as if what you longed would seem to consume you until your dying day and beyond? It sounds rather melodramatic, doesn't it? But that's exactly how it was with me. There was a longing that burned inside me that desperately needed to be fulfilled. So all my life, I tried my best to reach for what I desired...  

Though it probably would have been easier to know exactly what it was that I wanted so badly, ne?

 I don't know how to explain it... but there is just this... "feeling" that I need to reach for something that won't go away. For me, at least... everything started with a dream I had as a child...or at least people said that I was dreaming. When I was six or seven years old, Grandfather got sick and had to stay in the hospital for quite a while. During that time, Mother used to bring me there after school almost everyday to visit and cheer him up.  

One day, I secretly ventured away from Grandfather's room to satisfy my childish curiousity and found myself utterly lost. Due to the silliness of my childish pride, I was too embarrassed to ask for help and was afraid that the staff would get angry at me. So I continued on with my wandering, poking my head from room to room, hoping that I would eventually find my Grandfather. And it was by that manner that I first met "you".  

To tell you the truth, I don't really know why I knew it was you.  For some strange reason, I can't even remember how you looked like. All I can remember from that time was this man... no, at hindsight... I think you were really just a boy. A teen-aged boy, maybe around sixteen or seventeen years old. You were standing by the window with your back turned to me, bathed in blinding bright light. Mother said that the light might have just been the angle of ths setting sun... but it wasn't the color of the sun at all. It was a white, and very bright. That moment when I saw you seemed like a dramatic eternity, while in reality, it was probably just an instant. You, standing there, watching that flash of white, bright, blinding light. You were like...  

"...an angel," my five year old self gasped softly  

Then you spun around to face me, as if my whisper was a clap of thunder. I can't remember what you looked like... but somehow, I knew that you were very beautiful. After all, angels are supposed to be beautiful right? Even if they were wearing ordinary human clothes like a plain shirt, with jeans torn on the knees, and a baseball cap that you pulled down as if to hide your face.  

I remember that I could only watch numbly, as you walked briskly toward me... past me... to disappear down the corridor. I don't know what possessed me. But before I knew it, I was running after you, ignoring the chaos that suddenly seemed to converge around me.  I struggled past the hurrying bodies with one thing in my mind.

I needed to catch up with you. No matter what happened... I needed to catch you! My lips parted to call out his your before I realized that I didn't know what it was.

"O... Oniisan..."

But my tiny legs were no match for his longer strides.

"Oniisan wait!"

I called out louder, but you merely continued to walk away.

"Oniisan, wait! Please don't leave Oniisan!!!"

And with that final cry of desperation, I can remember that you stopped and slowly turned around to face me. I can't remember your face, or even the color of your eyes... but I remember the expression reflected in it. It was a look of surprise. I can't remember your voice, but you must have asked if I was lost. Because all I could remember was that I held on to your hand. I remember your hand because it felt strange holding it. It was pleasantly cool. Like the feel of dipping your hand in a cold stream in the middle of a hot summer day. All I could remember was that I held on to your hand and followed you until we reached a hallway familiar to me. Then you knelt down.

I find it strange that I can't remember your face, but I remember the small gentle smile that touched the corners of your lips. I can't remember the sound of your voice, but I remember your reassuring words... "It's not time yet. You'll be alright now, you'll be okay until we meet again."

"Really? I'm going to see you again, Oniisan?" My childish heart couldn't help but feel excited at the idea of seeing you again.

"Of course," was your reply, "After all, you're able to see me now."

I didn't understand what you meant. All I could remember was that you bent down to plant a soft kiss on the top of my head and the world disappeared into nothingness.

The next thing I knew, I was looking up at Mother's worried face with this inexplicable feeling of searching for something that I don't know. I asked Mother if she saw you, my mysterious angel. That's when she told me that it was probably just a dream. I learned later on that it seemed that sometime during my explorations that day, an accident happened involving a  runaway wheel-chair, a short flight of steps, and my head.

I never saw you again. And as I have mentioned over and over, I had completely forgotten your face, your voice, and in fact, the whole incident... until a few moments ago, when I was hurrying to get to my part time job. I was horribly late, and I could already literally imagine my supervisor's condecending glare on me, when I heard this voice.

"Excuse me, do you have the time?"

I turned around and saw the cutest girl I've ever seen. Brown eyes, wide friendly smile, wearing a girly dress with an orange plush cat strapped on her back. She looked like one of those image idol girls that you see in the magazines. There was something in her that draws you in.

"Y-yes..." I stuttered quickly, realizing that I was staring and fumbled with my wrist watch, "It's fifteen minutes to five... FIFTEEN MINUTES TO FIVE!!!" I cried out in horror, upon realizing how truly late I was. I turned back to the stranger and bowed in apology, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you! But I'm terribly late. I have to go!"

"Ah, it's fine," The girl laughed as she reached out her hand in a handshake, "It was very nice meeting you."

I let out an embarrased laugh as I took her hand instinctively. I think that was when I remembered you. Because the touch of her hand was the same as yours.

But before I could process anything else, she let go and gave me a friendly wave, "You better hurry along. We woudn't want you to be late for your appointment, ne?"

"Y-yes..." I replied, still watching her, as I went on my way. Though she was smiling widely, for some strange reason, she looked sad. I was still busy wondering about that, so I was completely unprepared when I heard someone yelling in alarm. I looked up in time only to see a dark shadow looming over me.

The next thing I knew, I was standing at the edge of the street, a crowd of panicking people running and milling around in confusion. I stepped aside as someone rushed past me only to fall in the path of a second body. I instinctively braced myself for the impact, only to gape in shock as the man ran right through me as if I wasn't there.

"What a pity..." A voice spoke beside me. I turned around and saw the girl from earlier. She sighed and gave me another one of her wide smiles, "It was such a pretty armoire."

I wanted to scream 'Who are you?', but all I could manage was a choked... "Who...?"

"Hello, now that the messy details are all taken care of, I can introduce myself properly," She continued cheerfully, "My name is Kagura. It's nice to meet you, Tooru Honda-san. How do you want to be called? Honda-san? Tooru-san?"

How did she know my name? "Ha...?"

"Oh," She rummaged through her pockets and held out my school ID passport, "You dropped this a while ago. It was lucky that I picked it up, otherwise I wouldn't have known that it was you. Is it all right if I called you Tooru-kun?"

I instinctively grabbed the card in her hand only to once again gape in shock as I saw my hand pass through the leather-protected document. What the heck is going on? "Wha!?!?"

"Oh dear," Kagura intoned, looking genuinely concerned at my confusion, "I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I'm sorry for not explaining right from the beginning."

"Ano... Kagura-san..." I finally managed to calm down enough to speak, "What's going on?"

"There is no easy way to say this, Honda-san... but, you see..." Kagura said almost mournfully. She made a deep sigh and she clasped her hands in front of her. Just then an ambulance parked right beside us. The milling crowd parted to let the emergency crew through and revealed an unidentifiable twisted heap of wood and metal. It was only then that I noticed a lone blood-spotted shoe that flew a few meters away from the impact. I immediately felt light-hearted at the dawning realization that it was mine.

"Tooru-kun..."

And suddenly it all made sense. Why this girl reminded me of you. And why you uttered those words, the first time I met you in that hospital, back when I was child.

"...you're dead."

End of Prologue
Continued on Chapter One 

AUTHOR’S SQUAWK:

Gaaah! Yes... yet another fic... I intended to write this as an original piece. But for some strange reason, I was more compelled to write it as a FURUBA Fanfic. It's obviously an alternate universe. This one is going to be very weird and very twisted, but hopefully, a little funny as well. And no, it was not inspired by "Yami no Matsuei" or "Full Moon wo Sagashite". While it does deal with the caretakers of the afterlife, it takes a different approach with how these Gods/Angels of Death deal with things. But if you are curious of what inspired me to push with this piece of insanity, it's actually an HBO series called "Dead Like Me". It's a super hilarious dark comedy. Though, again, eventhough it is inspired by that series, I'm not following that series either.

Ja!
Ina-chan