Beautiful Shinigami
Chapter One 
by Ina-chan
First Posted Online: March 5, 2003
History: Inspired by Bryan Fuller's "DEAD LIKE ME" series

"Shit!"  

The word passed through his lips before he could stop them. He blinked, trying to push away the stubborn droplet of sweat hanging on his brow. He hated wearing this damned mask and the damned heavy gear, even if they were the only things keeping him alive from the deadly heat and acrid smoke swirling around him. When the report came, he expected the worst.  

Well... the fire was in control now, at least.  

The scene before him was exactly as he imagined it. In a span of moments, the once bustling shopping district became a semblance of an old movie war zone. The paramedics already started their work with the handful of wounded. The police finished the evacuation hours ago and surrounded the parameter to keep the curious out of the way. The press was stubbornly swarming as close as they can dare like hungry ravens waiting for prey.  

"Sir! There's a casualty here! Looks like a teen-ager... male... I think..."  

"Survivor?"  

He hurried over, feeling his heart stop hopefully as he waited for his comrade's answer.  

"No..."  

He let out an involuntary sigh. He hated this part of the job too. He's been working for the Fire Depratment for almost 20 years, and it never gets easier. Specially if its a damned kid.  

"How badly burned is it?"  

"Uhm... it's not... quite... sir... maybe you should take a look yourself."  

That's strange. A body this close to the blast should be charred to ashes if not mangled to bits. The elder fireman frowned as knelt down to take a better look at the corpse. A portable MD player, which was probably held protectively in it's owner's now loose hands seemed miraculously unscathed, as it continued to play music to it's owner's unhearing ears. Definitely a teen-ager. Male. Slim build... looks almost anorexic. Hair's an odd color... Probably some drug addict or those street gang kids with the dyed hair. Nonetheless... Aside from the burned clothes, soot, and a few cuts and scratches... there was no indication that the body belonged there. It even almost as if the boy was only... sleeping.  

"Are you sure he's dead?"  

"No vital signs whatsoever, sir..."  

A stray thought tickled him from the back of his mind. A vague memory of a story told by a friend of his from the Police Department about a case like this happening years ago slowly formed in his mind's eye.  

"Sir, there's a survivor trapped over here!" Another fireman called out from the distance, disturbing his thoughts  

He pushed his thoughts away and focused his attention to his job at hand, "Radio for a stretcher, and bag this one."   

****

 People react to certain things depending on what type of personality they have. Though, as a society, there are certain reactions to certain norms that are considered acceptable. For example... when someone gives you a present or does you a favour, it's expected for you politely show your gratitude. When you watch a sad movie or attend a funeral, it's only natural to shed tears of feel grief.  

So, when someone tells you that "You're dead", it's typical for a person to laugh it off as some kind of bad joke. When the people around you don't see or hear, and just walk through you,  it's typical to suspend belief and try to convince yourself that this whole thing was just a horrible nightmare. Seeing your corpse being carried away by the paramedics it's only natural to feel faint with shock.  

But after all this in one afternoon, how are you supposed to react when someone, who claims to be a Shinigami, turns to you with a cheery smile on her face and announces...

 "Ne, Tooru-kun, since you're still unsure with what to do next... wanna see your autopsy?"  

How would you react to seeing your mangled body being poked, prodded, cut, weighed and measured? How do you act towards a stranger... or a god... who tries to make light of a situation that you don't understand? What else can you do other than try to run away, passing through closed doors and walls... feeling scared, and a little odd that you don't feel sickened by the whole situation... But then again, if you're already dead, you won't have the ability or the body to feel sick and loose what's left of your lunch anymore.  

So all you can do is sit down on the hospital's concrete steps, idly watching the living walk by you... and sometimes through you.  

Why is this happening? Mother, if you can hear me... wherever you are, tell me why this is happening?  

"All things that live, eventually die. It's an unfortunate fate that no one can escape from," Kagura-san said quietly as she took a seat beside me  

"It's not fair," I whispered sadly. Though I was more annoyed that I don't have the ability to cry anymore, at a time when I wanted to cry more than anything.  

"No it isn't. I wish there was a way I can make it better, but all I can do is to guide souls to where they are supposed to go." Kagura-san nodded, sympathetically. She then turned to me an gave me a sheepish grin, "I'm sorry, about earlier. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I was just trying to cheer you up.Hatori always says that I shouldn't get carried away when I get excited. That's me, plow straight on without thinking first... But I was just so happy to meet you."  

She's happy to meet me? Now how do you react to something like that after you died? Not that I had a lot of that experience when I was alive... Specially after Mother passed on. With the exception of Uo-chan and Hana-chan, no one seem to be give me much notice. More so from an angel. Somehow, that made me feel somewhat better, "I suppose I was at fault too. I'm sorry if I was so disrespectful. I've never... well... this is all new to me. I don't know how to think or act. Specially around an angel."  

"Heh? Angel?" Kagura-san gave me a puzzled look, "You think I'm an angel?"  

"A...aren't you?"  

Kagura-san let out an amused peal of laughter, "I'm not an angel, Tooru-kun. I'm a Shinigami."  

"Eh? There's a difference?" I asked weakly, if I still had my heart, I would probably have felt it sinking just about now. Somehow, I've made a blunder again. I've always thought that Angels and Shinigami were one and the same.  

"That's right! I am a Beautiful Goddess of Death! A Grim Reaper!" Kagura-san cried out as she raised a fist passionately, battle aura flaring, "Shinegami guide newly departed souls to wherever they are supposed to go in the afterlife... while Angels are merely glorified messenger boys."

 "Messenger boys?"  

"Hmph. Most angels are bad news. They're stuck up, cold, aloof, and don't want to get their hands dirty. They're really full of themselves when all they really do is just  bring down memos and orders from the boss," Kagura prattled on in with disgust, "We Shinigami, on the other hand, do all the hard dirty work, and get still get no recognition for what we do."

 If I was alive, beads of sweat would probably have started to run down my forehead at this point. My thoughts returned to you. You see, despite my dire situation... being dead and all... My thoughts were selfishly turning towards you. That is, by some twinge of hope, that I might be able to see you again. But if Angels are as what Kagura-san said they were... would you be willing to meet me again? Would you even still remember me? "A...are Angels really that bad? Surely there must be some Angel's who aren't..."

 Kagura-san stopped and turned to me in deep thought, "Well... that's true."

 I let out a sigh of relief at that. Still, needless to say, my curiousity was definitely aroused by this seemingly 'social prejudice' between Angels and Shinigami.

 Kagura-san let out a sigh, "Being connected to an angel can be pretty handy too. The fastest way to get information is through the Angel network. After all, it's their to relay and spread orders from the boss or bring news...and the occassional gossip. There are also special rank angels who are given the power to appear and bring messages to the living."

 My eyes widened excitedly at the revelation that angels do exist and have talked to the living. For the first time, I suddenly felt that I was getting closer to meeting up with you again, "So Angels do talk to people..."

 "Well... yeah. But not just any person can talk to angels either. It's kinda complicated to explain why, since I don't really understand it myself. But some people are better mediums than others. In fact, throughout the years, the living call them by different names," Kagura-san continued, as she counted her fingers "Prophets...  oracles...  visionaries... schizophrenics..."

 Eh?

 "But true receivers are very rare at this time and age. People nowadays tend to see these gifts as a curse or some kind of illness..." Kagura-san continued but her voice was drowned over as several ambulances rushed by to get to the emergency entrance. Kagura glanced at her wrist watch before leaping to her feet to watch the spectacle with great interest, "Huaaaa!!! That must be the Shibuya case! And it's on time too! I knew that he could do it! Heh-heh... Shi-chan owes me a sukiyaki hotpot!"

 "Shibuya... case?"

 Kagura waved her hand nonchalantly, "It's nothing. So, what do you want to do now?"

 Good question. Too bad I didn't know the answer.

 "We could visit your family."

 My family? What a depressing thought. I probably will be punished for thinking unpleasant and ungrateful things about them. But since my Mother died, it was really only my paternal Grandfather who was left of my blood relations who cared about me. My mother was not very... popular... within my father's circle of relations. With my grandfather's deteriorating 'condition', I don't think he'll even understand. If my aunt decides to tell him the news, that is. The only other people who will probably care when they hear the news that I'm dead are...

 "Uo-chan... Hana-chan..." I whispered in surprise as two familiar figures stepped out from a taxi that pulled up at hospital driveway. If I could still cry, tears would probably be welling up in my eyes just about this moment. I rose to my feet and rushed to hug my bestfriends, completely forgetting my current situation until they both passed through me.  

Now, I really wanted to cry. But all I can do is bow my head in despair.  

"Oi, Hanajima... what's wrong?"  

I looked up to see Uo-chan looking at Hana-chan in concern. Hana-chan, at that moment, seemed frozen to where she was standing. Hana-chan turned back and looked at my direction, past through me... as if searching... Of course! If there was anyone who I can still talk to, it would be Hana-chan! I stepped forward hopefully, trying to will her to hear me, "Hana-chan? Hana-chan? Can you hear me? It's me! It's Tooru!"  

"Hanajima?" Uo-chan called out again, her voice full of concern, as she reached out to her best friend  

"DON'T!!!!" Hana-chan shrank away from Uo-chan's touch. A familiar fearful look that I only saw once before, was evident in her usually stoic eyes, "STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!"  

"What are you..." Uo-chan stared at her  

"Hana-chan, it's just me..." I called out feebly, trying to reasssure her  

Hana-chan clamped both hands over her ears, as she continued to step away, "STOP IT! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!"  

"Oi, Hanajima, pull yourself together!"  

"Hana-chan... please..."  

"STAY AWAY!!! I DON'T WAN'T TO HURT ANYONE AGAIN!!!"

 "OI!!!"

 With that, Hana-chan spun in her heels and started running away with Uo-chan close behind her. I started to run after them, but I found myself rooted to the spot, and unable to move. I turned around and saw Kagura-san looking after them with an almost bewildered expression on her face, "Kagura-san, please! I have to go after them!"  

"Wow. Your friend is a powerful medium," Kagura-san commented with awe, "I'd say she's got a potential to become a true receiver with the right mentor... if a shrink doesn't get to her first, that is."  

"Kagura-san!"  

Kagura-san looked at me with a thoughtful expression on her face before replying, "Is that really what you want to do?"  

"Yes!" I replied, feeling a little annoyed, "Please, I need to tell them that I'm all right."  

Kagura-san cocked her head to one side, looking almost child-like, "Well, your intentions are good, but do you think your friend is going to be willing to listen to you right at this moment?"  

"Hana-chan will..." My voice trailed, as I suddenly realized what Kagura-san meant  

If you heard news that your best friend had just died and suddenly start hearing her voice, how would you react? I was so selfish. The idea of still having a connection to the living world dominated my mind so I the answer to that thought never occurred to me until after I saw Hana-chan's reaction. I should have known that she was going to react that way. I did know all about what happened to her from junior high school.

 Here I was claiming to be her friend...  

"Kagura-san," I called out in a quiet voice, "Is there a way for me to let them know?"  

Kagura-san smiled with a sympathetic nod, "There are lots of ways and many opportunities. Unfortunately, this way is not one of them. But if this is really what you wish, we can still go after them."  

If you were given the awful choice to choosing which side of a double-edged knife do you want to be scarred from, how would you react? If I don't let them know that I'm alright, Hana-chan and Uo-chan will continue to feel sad. But if I follow them, Hana-chan might break... Hana-chan and Uo-chan will still be sad. I glanced at the direction where Uo-chan and Hana-chan disappeared to. There was a genuine twinge of understanding in Kagura-san's word of warning. I still had a choice. But if I choose to follow them... Kagura-san was clearly trying to show me the consequence of that action. Hana-chan and Uo-chan are both precious to me. So, in a manner of speaking... I really didn't have a choice now, did I?

 I bowed my head and turned away to face Kagura-san, "Kagura-san... I think I'm ready to go now."  

"Eh?" Kagura-san looked at me in surprise, "B-but... don't you have anything else to do? What about your funeral? Don't you want to go see..."  

"It's not necessary," I replied with conviction, "I don't want to cause any more pain." Besides, I don't really want to attend my own funeral.

 Kagura-san gave me another thoughtful look, before letting out a defeated sigh, "Very well, since that's what you really want. Let's go then."

 I gave the direction Uo-chan and Hana-chan took one last lingering look, before following Kagura-san to where I needed to go. The path that Kagura-san took was a familiar route. In fact, it was the exact route I take every day with Hana-chan and Uo-chan. To go to school, to go to work, to go shopping... It was nice to walk down this familiar path one last time and reminiscing the happy memories. I'll miss it.

 "Here we are!" Kagura-san chirped cheerfully in that sing-song tone of hers

 I pulled myself from my thoughts to find myself standing in front of a very familiar cafe.

 "Eh?"

 In fact, it was the very same cafe where Uo-chan works one of her part-time jobs.

 "We're a bit earlier than expected, but I'm sure everyone will be happy to meet you," With that Kagura-san opened the door for me

 The cafe had a few customers from the after-school crowd. It was strange. Normally the crowd was a lot bigger than this.

 "Welcome back!" One of the servers called out as Kagura-san stepped inside

 "Hi Miike-san!" Kagura waved cheerfully,"Can I have the usual at the table with your lightning speed?"

 "One house special ice cappuchino," The waiter said, "What about your friend?"

 EH?

 "She'll have the same," Kagura-san replied before I could utter anything. She then turned to me with a big smile, "They make the best ice cappuchino!"

 "Will do," the waiter complied as he winked at my direction before disappearing to the back.

 "Kagura-san... did he just..."

 "KYO-U-KUUUUN!!!!" Kagura-san cried out, completely ignoring me as she launched herself at an orange-haired boy seated at one of the booths, who suspiciously looked as if he was trying to sneak away unnoticed, "KYOU-KUN! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I KNEW THAT YOU COULD DO IT IF YOU TRIED HARD ENOUGH! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!"

 "GAH! ...leggo... can't... BREATHE!!!" the boy gasped as he twitched helplessly in the girl's grasp

 "Will you two stop it? You're making a scene," A girl with long silky ebony hair, sitting beside the boy, reprimanded as she gave the couple bland look

 "Ah! And who is this pretty little flower?" A yukata-clad man, seated across them  

"You can see me?" I couldn't help squeaking out loud  

"Ah, that's Tooru Honda, she's the rookie," Kagura-san replied as she continued to fasten herself to the orange-haired, despite his struggles

 "And it's a cute girl!" Tears streamed down the man's face as he clasped his hands together, "I'm so happy that my prayers have been finally answered. What a wonderful relief from Kyou-kun's bumbling idiocy..."

 "HEY!" The orange-haired boy cried out indignantly

 "Anou... what's going on here?" I stammered nervously, "You mean you can see me? All of you can see me?"

 Silence fell on the group for a few moments. Kagura-san gave a sheepish laugh as she ducked her head, "Sorry, sorry! My bad. I was so excited to see Kyou-kun that I forgot to explain it to her."

 "Explain what?" I inquired insistently, "I thought Kagura-san was supposed to guide me to where I was supposed to go."

 "Tooru-kun, this is where you're supposed to go," Kagura-san replied, "As soon as Hatori and Yun-chan arrives, we'll make it official. By the way... where is Yun-chan? It's unlike him to be late."

 The orange-haired boy choked, "Gah... t-that damned rat can take care of himself. You better worry about yourself first."

 "Heeeh? Why would I be in trouble?" Kagura-san demanded

 "Because you brought the rookie too early," A deep voice replied from behind me. I spun around in surprise to see a tall and very intimidating figure, looking down at the group disapprovingly

 "Gah..." Kagura-san froze before looking up at the newcomer sheepishly, "Well... she didn't want to go to her funeral, so I figured..."

 "There's a reason why we have protocols, Kagura," The man stated sternly before letting out a patient sigh, "What's done is done. We'll simply have to deal with it as we go along. Now, don't be rude, give Honda-kun a seat."

 The Yukata Man smiled at me widely and patted the empty space beside him.

 "Another seat," the newcomer glared at the other man.

 The orange-haired boy literally sprang out of his seat before Kagura-san could protest and offered his space to me. I reluctantly took the seat, not wanting to further offend the man whom I assume to be 'Hatori-san'. Based from how the others were acting, it seemed to be a wise decision.

 "Everyone already knows Honda-kun, so it would only be polite to make our introductions. I am Hatori. I am in charge of this unit," Hatori-san began, "You alrealdy met Kagura, the girl sitting beside her is Isuzu..."

 "Rin," Isuzu-san interrupted, giving the older man an annoyed look

 Whether Hatori-san noticed the interruption or not, he didn't make any indication. He motioned to the orange-haired boy beside him, without even breaking his pace, "This is Kyou, and that one over there is Shigure. Don't get too close to him if you value your virtue."

 "Ha-san! That's cruel!" Shigure whined in protest

 "It-it's nice to meet you," I replied nervously, "...b-but why exactly am I here?"

 "You're here because you're one of us now," Hatori replied a matter-of-factly, "Welcome to the ranks of the undead."

 EHHH!?!? I looked at the faces around me, feeling like a deer trapped in a car's headlights. My eyes wandered from Kagura-san's friendly smile, to Isuzu-san's impassive profile, to Shigure-san's enthusiastic grin, Kyou-san's sympathetic nod, and Hatori-san's stoic expression. If you were to find yourself in my situation... How would you react?    

End of Part One
Return to Epilogue  
Continued on Chapter Two 

AUTHOR’S SQUAWK:

      This chapter went on longer than I originally expected. Didn't end the way I expected either. ^_^.

      Anywayz... first of all, I made a major boo-boo on the title. It IS "shinigami" not "shinegami". Ina-chan got careless with her rootwords and forgot the transitions. I hope the story is starting to take shape. And I have to repeat once again that this is not going to be a Yami no Matsuei or Fullmoon parody. I actually didn't want to use the term "undead" to describe the Shinigami. It's makes it sound like they're vampires or something... but what term can you use to describe them? I mean, they're not immortal... since they're "technically" dead... but they're not really dead since they do walk around with the living... and the argument circles to point out that even so they're still not alive

      And also... you may have noticed... What is this Yukiru girl thinking? How can she write a fic with Yuki nowhere in sight? Well... wait and see. Yuki shall appear soon... if he chooses, that is. Comments and criticisms to ina_chan@yahoo.com

Ja!
Ina-chan